Friends Missing Friends

In today’s episode I talk to Alex Alexander, host of the Friendship IRL podcast and author of Are We Friends Yet? How to Deepen Your Relationships and Create the Community You Need. Growing up in a difficult family situation, she instinctively built a support system of friends throughout her teens and twenties without realizing what she was creating. When society told her that friendships don’t matter in your thirties, Alex refused to lose her chosen family and dove deeper into understanding what made her relationships thrive. Now she’s changing the conversation around adult friendship, proving that we have more power to shape our communities than we’ve been led to believe.

In today’s convo, we chat about:

• Her book Are we Friends Yet?
• How society treats friendships, and our feelings about the term “best friend”
• How to take a holistic view of the connections in your life
• The wheel of connection: family of origin, formal community, acquaintances, familiar friends, defined friends, present friend, historic friend, chosen family, past friendships
• And more!

MORE ABOUT ALEX ALEXANDER:

Website: alexalexander.com

Instagram: instagram.com/itsalexalexander

Tiktok: tiktok.com/@itsalexalexander

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

The Friends Missing Friends Collective is a loving and supportive online community of friend-loss grievers. Only $20/month! Sign up or learn more at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

PROMO: Want to try it first to see if the community is a good fit? *Get your first month free* with code PLATONICLOVE

Help Texts:

Get mental health & bereavement support via text (written by professionals, not AI). You also have the option to invite 2 loved ones to receive a weekly text with practical tips for how they can support you as you grieve.

PROMO: Get a discounted rate at https://helptexts.com/sign-up/friendsmissingfriends

Memorial Books:

Want to create a beautiful, long-lasting memorial book foryour loved one?

PROMO: Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review it’s so very appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today’s episode I talk to Dr. Heather Taylor, PsyD (she/her), a licensed psychologist, speaker, and grief educator who helps people name the losses no one prepares us for. She is the creator of the STAY framework for grief integration, founder of Grief Is the New Normal Psychological Services, and host of the Grief Is the New Normal podcast.

In today’s convo, we chat about:

• Integrating grief into your life (integration vs acceptance)
• What it means for grief to be “the new normal”
• Sibling loss and disenfranchised grief
• Continuing bonds
• The most common myths about grief
• Lots & lots of grief metaphors (I don’t know about you, but I LOVE me a metaphor)
• And so much more!

MORE ABOUT DR. HEATHER TAYLOR:

Website: www.thedrheathertaylor.com

Email: [email protected]

Instagram: @dr.heathertaylor

Substack: https://drheathertaylor.substack.com/

YouTube: @Grief_Is_The_New_Normal

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2P53FFaGhImhmiPItp6ne2?si=dc1c878042e84282

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

The Friends Missing Friends Collective is a loving and supportive online community of friend-loss grievers. Only $20/month! Sign up or learn more at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

PROMO: Want to try it first to see if the community is a good fit? *Get your first month free* with code PLATONICLOVE

Help Texts:

Get mental health & bereavement support via text (written by professionals, not AI). You also have the option to invite 2 loved ones to receive a weekly text with practical tips and reminders for how they can support you as you grieve.

PROMO: Get a discounted rate at https://helptexts.com/sign-up/friendsmissingfriends

Memorial Books:

Want to create a beautiful, long-lasting memorial book for your loved one?

PROMO: Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review it’s so very appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today’s episode I talk to grief and life transitions coach Kendra Rinaldi about her grief journey, her experiences with friend-loss, disenfranchised grief, what it means to validate your own grief, signs and synchronicities, & so much more!

MORE ABOUT KENDRA:

Kendra Rinaldi is a grief and life transitions coach who has experienced grief many times in her life. Some of most poignant moments were the tragic and sudden death of her sister in 1996, a miscarriage during her first pregnancy in 2006, and her mother’s death to pancreatic cancer in 2016. From her experiences, she launched a podcast called Grief, Gratitude and The Gray In-Between in March of 2020. She invites guests to share their journey and how they grew from that experience, many sharing about their grief after the death of a loved one and the tools they used in their grief process.

Website: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com

Podcast: https://www.griefgratitudeandthegrayinbetween.com/podcast

Contact her: [email protected]

Instagram: @griefgratitudepodcast

Facebook: @griefgratitudepodcast

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

The Friends Missing Friends Collective is a loving and supportive online community of friend-loss grievers. Only $20/month! Sign up or learn more at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

PROMO: Want to try it first to see if the community is a good fit? *Get your first month free* with code PLATONICLOVE

Help Texts:

Get mental health & bereavement support via text (written by professionals, not AI). You also have the option to invite 2 loved ones to receive a weekly text with practical tips and reminders for how they can support you as you grieve.

PROMO: Get a discounted rate at https://helptexts.com/sign-up/friendsmissingfriends

Memorial Books:

Want to create a beautiful, long-lasting memorial book for your loved one?

PROMO: Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review it’s so very appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today’s episode I talk to Sarah Khatau about her beloved friend Georgina, her experience with friend-loss grief, and Help Texts – a bereavement support tool that helped her tremendously after the death of her father in 2018.

MORE ABOUT SARAH:

After the death of her father in 2018, and through the many losses that have shaped her life since, including the death of her dear friend Georgina, Sarah Khatau shifted her career into bereavement support, eventually finding her way to Help Texts as a subscriber herself before joining the team. Today she works alongside hospices, hospitals, employers, andcaregiver organizations across the US and Canada to bring meaningful, personalized support to families navigating loss and serious illness. Sarah is also a trauma-based counsellor supporting sexual assault survivors, and brings that same depth of care and lived understanding to her grief work. She is passionate about making grief support more accessible, less stigmatized, and easier for organizations to offer atscale, and believes deeply in the power of showing up for people in the quiet, in-between moments when they need it most.

Learn more about Sarah: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sarahkhatau/

Try Help Texts at a special price! https://helptexts.com/sign-up/friendsmissingfriends

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

The Friends Missing Friends Collective is a loving and supportive online community of friend-loss grievers. If you join, you get group support, 1:1 support, digital support, and a digital resource library of external resources. Only $20/month! Sign up or learn more at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

PROMO: Want to try it to see if the community is a goodfit? *Get your first month free* with code PLATONICLOVE

Help Texts:

Get mental health & bereavement support via text (written by professionals, not AI). You also have the option to invite 2 loved ones to receive a weekly text with practical tips and reminders for how they can support you as you grieve.

PROMO: Get a discounted rate at https://helptexts.com/sign-up/friendsmissingfriends

Memorial Books:

Want to create a beautiful, long-lasting memorial book foryour loved one?

PROMO: Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today’s episode I talk to Tess Clarkson about friend-loss grief, her beloved friend Eithne, and the act of finding meaning and healing through creative writing. We chat about:

• How she met her dear friend Eithne (pronounced Eth-na) through dance
• The story of their friendship
• Feeling lost, isolated, and misunderstood after Eithne’s sudden and tragic death on Air France 447
• The yoga retreat in India that helped her start to find her way
• The many healers she reached out to over the years
• How creative writing has helped her heal and process through "stuck" feelings
• The memoir she is writing about their friendship and her grief
• And more…

MORE ABOUT TESS:

Tess is a writer, death doula, and life optimizer—a Reiki master, yoga teacher, and certified astrologer—who helps people tap into their inner guru and tackle taboos.

Website: https://tessclarkson.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thetessclarkson

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetessclarkson/

Substack: https://substack.com/@tessclarkson  

Articles:

• https://www.thegirlfriend.com/relationships/what-a-real-end-of-life-doula-reveals-about-death 
• https://www.yourtango.com/heartbreak/how-clairvoyant-finally-healed-tragic-death-friend

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

The Friends Missing Friends Collective is a loving and supportive community of friend-loss grievers. Sign up or learn more at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Get your first month free with code PLATONICLOVE

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today’s episode I talk to Novelette Monroe, a multiple loss survivor, trained Hospice and Peer Bereavement Care Facilitator, and certified Mindfulness & Grief Coach. She has facilitated many bereavement groups over the years with a special interest in Mindfulness for Grieving Loss. Novelette was born with the Recessive Dystrophic form of Epidermolysis Bullosa, RDEB—a rare life-limiting, progressive, and chronic condition. She was fortunate enough to develop lasting connections with others with RDEB when, at age 12, she attended a summer camp for children with skin disorders sponsored by the American Academy of Dermatology. The friendships she formed at camp became her life source for having folks in her life who knew what it is like to live in a body with this rare disease.

In this conversation we talk about:

• how the friends she met at camp became her chosen family; friends who showed her what was possible: “if you can see her, you can be her.”
• the devastation and grief after the death of her beloved friends
• how she’s coped, and how mindfulness and bereavement groups have supported her over the years.

MORE ABOUT NOVELETTE:

Follow Novelette’s Grieving and Living Consciously socials:

Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61567169300477

Private Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1Bi1k3HVfW/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/grieving_living_consciously/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrSx8Qj30l8JoTceOrRUTww

RESOURCES:

Information on self-compassion practices and meditations: https://self-compassion.org

Heather Stang’s mindfulness & grief website: https://heatherstang.com/ 

Heather Stang’s books: https://heatherstang.com/heather-stang-grief-books/

Grief Groups:

The Friends Missing Friends Collective is a loving and supportive community of friend-loss grievers. Sign up or learn more at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

I’m so excited to announce a new offering!! It is the Friends Missing Friends Collective, a loving and supportive community for friend-loss grievers.

I have found, time and time again, how we friend-loss grievers desire community where we can meet and gather with others who are also grieving friends. How we need a space where we can feel seen, heard, and understood.

So, I wanted to create a friend-loss community via an affordable monthly membership—so folks can join anytime and stay as long as they need.

Membership includes:

• 2 virtual grief groups a month
• A one-on-one session
• A digital resource library
• A Private Discord Server (so you can chat with other friend-loss grievers any time!)

SPECIAL OFFER: If you email me or fill out the interest form before December 31st, I will give you the special lifetime “Founding Friends” price of $12/month—because you will be a Founding member! After launch, the general price will be $20.

All you have to do to hold your spot is:

• Email me at [email protected]
• OR, fill out an interest form at friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

Y’ALL I’m so excited!! Fireworks went off inside me when I decided to move forward with this – this can grow into something truly beautiful, I just know it.

Because when we come together—healing happens.

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

Register your interest for the Friends Missing Friends Collective and get 2 virtual grief groups a month: friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today's episode, I chat with Tara Accardo—a Grief & Transformational Life coach and the host of the podcast Life With Grief—about finding a joyful, fulfilling, and meaningful life again after loss.

Grief expert David Kessler describes this as the “sixth stage of grief” in his book Finding Meaning. Now to be crystal clear: this is NOT referring to finding meaning in the death or horrific event, it’s referring to finding meaning in your life after the loss.

“Finding meaning” is different for everyone. It might involve completely changing your life; it might be folded into small but significant moments. For many people, it’s when we try to answer the question “what now?” after a loved one’s death. Tara and I talk about this, and much more, including:

• Finding solace and healing in micro-moments
• How the grieving process cannot be rushed
• Reclaiming power over your life
• Coping during acute grief
• Being curious and giving yourself grace

QUOTES:

“We are truly so much more in charge of our healing and our coping than we think we are…we are in charge of how we grieve, how we cope, our happiness, what our day to day looks like; there is so much that is actually within our power.” –Tara

“If you look at it from a place of curiosity, you’re giving yourself much more grace.” –Tara

“From personal experience, that ‘what now’ can be so overwhelming. And it’s ever evolving, I feel like I’ve gone through several ‘what nows’…” –Hannah

 “There’s a whole life now, that you have to ‘figure out’ without that person.” –Tara

“The idea of continuing a relationship with them even after they died…for years I was like, ‘oh the friendship was over,’ after my friend died. But then I’m like, wait I can keep this friendship going somehow. And the ‘how’ is the journey, figuring out how to do that. That is also folded into the finding meaning and finding new purpose.” –Hannah

“After a loss that rocks your world; it's like your life was thishouse of cards, and it all falls, and you have to build an entirely new house of cards.” –Hannah

“I feel like a lot of people want to rush the grief, they just want to feel some peace and just not hurt so bad… it can’t be rushed, but it can certainly be helped along.” –Tara

MORE ABOUT TARA:

Tara Accardo (she/her) is a Grief and Transformational life Coach and host of the Life With Grief Podcast. After losing her parents to cancer within six months of each other, her journey of grieving led her to create Losses Become Gains—a community for fellow grievers that serves tools, inspiration, and guidance on how to navigate grief, loss, and navigating life with both in tow. Through her podcast, one-on-one coaching and other digital resources, Tara’s passion and calling to support fellow grievers runs deep!

RESOURCES:

Connect with Tara:

IG: @lossesbecomegains

IG and TikTok: @lifewithgriefpodcast

Website: https://lossesbecomegains.com/

Life with Grief podcast

The book Tara recommended: The Grieving Brain, by Mary-Frances O’Connor

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today’s Grief Note episode I talk about a time when I untangled a toxic belief—or story—I was holding related to my friend Lauren’s death.

It’s not uncommon for us to create stories around our loss. David Kessler talks about how when we create a story “that is not true and is not helpful,” we can “get stuck in the narrative.” In other words, stories can complicate our grief.

There are a million different stories we may tell ourselves around a loss. Such as, “it’s my fault they died,” “I was a bad friend/daughter/partner/parent because _____,” “I will never be happy again,” and on and on and on.

I found that I was able to untangle my story—which had become a knot in my heart—by writing about it. By switching perspectives, I was able to recognize that 1.) my story wasn’t true or helpful, and 2.) I had the power to stop believing it.

RESOURCES:

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get$50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!

In today's episode, I chat with Rachel Dwyer and Kendel Rogers—the co-hosts of the podcast 2 Girls with Grief about integrating grief into your life, rather than emotionally severing.

What do we mean by integrate? We mean rather than shoving the grief aside, pretending it doesn’t exist, and putting on a mask to the world—we embrace the grief, feel it fully, and show the world our WHOLE selves.

We make comparisons to the show Severance (don’t worry, no spoilers!), and how it is a perfect metaphor for the idea of emotional severance as we grieve. All three of us used to emotionally sever, and through finding community, digging deep into our emotions, and rewriting our stories, we integrated grief into our life and now feel much more whole.  

QUOTES:

“I used to see my grief as a dark shadow that followed me and trying to like shove it away and put it in the corner and pretend it wasn’t there. And now I’ve learned how to incorporate it into me, because it’s what has happened.” – Kendel

“Because grief is so misunderstood, I misunderstood my own grief. I didn’t know what to feel and I felt so lost and sad, but it just seemed like you’re supposed to be over it and you’re supposed to move on from it…I just felt like I was in 2 different worlds: I portrayed myself as fine, but was crying at night or just really sad. And it was a really weird feeling of having two lives.” – Rachel

"Grievers still deserve a happy life and grievers still deserve joy." – Kendel

“I thought getting up every day and not staying in bed all day,was me doing everything. No one would look at me and be like ‘she’s depressed’… So in my head I’m like, I’m doing fine…it took a while, and it wasn’t until last year that I was like ‘I’m going to try something different.’” – Rachel

“It's almost like now I'm in this walk with my grief. I'm not running from it. I'm not hiding from it.” – Kendel

“How can I experience real joy WITH grief, and not separately? Because before it was always like, I’m happy but my grief is separate. But it’s like, no it’s all together, and how do I make that make sense to me in this world?” – Rachel

“If you’re going to try to outrun your grief, it will come back. You can’t hide from it, you can’t shove it away in a box, we’ve tried that and you can learn from us.” – Kendel

MORE ABOUT RACHEL AND KENDEL:

Rachel Dwyer is based in San Francisco and Co-hosts the 2 Girls with Grief Podcast & the Griefy Girls Book Club with Kendel Rogers.

Kendel Rogers is one half of the 2 Girls with Grief podcast & the Griefy Girls Book Club. After losing her father in 2020, she wanted to have more in depth conversations about death and grief. Along with destigmatizing the taboo around death and grief, she volunteers with The Warm Place, a grief support center for children in Fort Worth, TX.

RESOURCES:

Connect with 2 Girls with Grief:

IG: @racheldwyerinsf / @2girlswithgriefpod / @griefygirlsbookclub

TikTok: @racheldwyerinsf / @2girlswithgriefpod

Grief Groups:

Interested in joining a friend-loss peer support group? Fill out the interest form at ⁠⁠friendsmissingfriends.com/griefgroup⁠

Memorial Books:

Want to create a memorial book for your loved one? Get $50-off with affiliate code friendsmissingfriends, or go directly to this link. Learn more about Lifebooks at https://lifebooks.io/

GET IN TOUCH:

Thank you for listening to Friends Missing Friends. If you enjoyed it, please follow/subscribe, leave stars and a review—it’s so appreciated, and it helps the podcast reach more listeners!

Email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

Instagram: @friendsmissingfriends

Website: friendsmissingfriends.com

Spotify for Podcasts page: ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/friendsmissingfriends⁠

Leave a Voicemail at FMF’s google voice number: 312-291-1781

Feel free to reach out, by email or VM. (And if you want me to share it on the podcast, be sure to explicitly give me permission to do so). Thanks y’all! Sending you love!