From Harm to Healing

In this episode, Chris explores the difference between proactivity and reactivity in recovery, and why meaningful change ultimately requires more than simply responding when prompted, challenged, or held accountable.

Drawing on his work with the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model, Chris considers what it means to take genuine ownership of the recovery journey—from engaging intentionally with treatment and using recovery tools, to proactively communicating, pursuing support, and taking responsibility for creating safety. He also explores the partner’s experience of feeling responsible for driving recovery, and the importance of both internal and external boundaries in recognising what is, and is not, theirs to carry

In this episode, Chris is joined by DST therapist Michelle Edsall for a thought-provoking conversation on objectification through the lens of the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model.

Together they explore how objectification extends beyond sexualisation into the broader experience of collapsed recognition—where a person's humanity, agency, and inner world are no longer truly seen. They discuss Michelle's emerging framework of sacred recognition, the relationship between objectification and healthy sexual desire, and how moving from relational reduction to genuine curiosity and connection can support lasting healing for both partners and those in recovery.

Find out more:

Website: https://www.counselingcenterwm.org/provider/michelleedsall

Email: [email protected]

In this episode, Chris is joined by Canadian therapist and Certified DST Therapist Natalie Cournoyea. Together they explore the concept of treatment-induced trauma (Room 22 of the 22 Rooms model) and discuss how well-intentioned therapy, group work, and recovery frameworks can sometimes create additional harm for betrayed partners.

Drawing on their experience working with both betrayed partners and those who have engaged in deceptive sexuality, Chris and Natalie discuss common blind spots within the treatment field, including codependency frameworks, premature couples work, disclosure issues, and the risks of professional collusion with deceptive narratives. They also explore how a trauma-informed, DST-based approach can help couples and individuals move towards greater safety, understanding, and healing.

Find out more about Natalie’s work:

Website: Centre for Life Solutions

www.centreforlifesolutions.com

In the final part of this conversation, Chris and Trish explore the challenges and possibilities of healing within the injured relationship.

Together they discuss attachment injuries, persistent negative relational patterns, emotional granularity, and the difference between surface-level behavioural change and deeper transformation. They also explore how honesty, vulnerability, and attending can create the conditions for both individual and relational healing.

Find out more:

Website: https://trishhaight.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trish.haightmft

Content note: This episode contains a particularly raw and emotionally intense exploration of deceptive sexuality and its traumatic impact. For betrayed partners in particular, some of the imagery, sounds, and descriptions may evoke strong feelings or trauma responses. Please consider whether this is the right time for you to listen, and feel free to pause or step away if needed.

In this episode, Chris and Trish continue their conversation by exploring what Trish describes as "The Sound of DST."

Using metaphor, music, and imagery, Trish brings the 22 Rooms of DST to life in a unique and powerful way. Together they explore the covert phase, exposure phase, trauma symptoms, and symptom progression, helping listeners understand the emotional and relational impact of deceptive sexuality through a different lens.

Find out more:

Website: https://trishhaight.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trish.haightmft

In this episode, Chris is once again joined by DST therapist Trish Haight to continue their exploration of the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model.

Together they discuss Intentional Vibe Trauma Theory and Treatment, exploring the importance of therapeutic presence, humility, deep listening, and creating the conditions for healing. They also explore the metaphor of the "dark cave of unlit truths" and discuss why healing often begins not with fixing, but with helping people feel seen, heard, and understood.

Find out more:

Website: https://trishhaight.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/trish.haightmft

In this episode, Chris is joined by UK-based sex and relationship therapist and Certified DST Therapist Rhian Kivits. Together they explore the often-overlooked experiences of betrayed partners navigating the traumatic impact of deceptive sexuality.

Drawing on her background in relationship therapy, narcissistic abuse work, and the Deceptive Sexuality Trauma (DST) model, Rhian explores why traditional approaches to couples therapy can sometimes leave betrayed partners feeling further disempowered, and why validation, psychoeducation, and reclaiming one's voice are such important parts of the healing process. She also introduces her new Recovery Compass programme, which helps women navigating the pain of betrayal find greater clarity, stability, and self-connection through a DST-informed approach.

For more information about the Recovery Compass programme, please visit:

https://go.betrayalprescription.com/recoverycompass

You can also find out more about Rhian and her work at:

https://rhiankivits.co.uk/

In this episode, Chris is joined by Duane Osterlind for a conversation exploring the role of shame in the healing process. Together, they examine how shame can quietly disrupt progress—particularly in men who are genuinely trying to repair after betrayal—often blocking empathy, emotional connection, and meaningful change. They also explore the concept of shame resilience, the patterns that emerge when shame goes unrecognised, and what it takes to move beyond those barriers toward deeper connection and repair.

You can find more information about Duane Osterlind and his Shame to Resilience program here: https://www.shametoresilience.com/

In this episode, Chris continues exploring “The 22 Rooms.” Following the covert phase and the exposure phase covered in earlier episodes, this third part focuses on the symptom progression phase - how the impact of the trauma develops over time. He explores the deep triadic core symptoms that might develop, the relational patterns that often emerge, and the longer-term psychological impacts of rebuilding one's reality following betrayal.

In this episode, Chris continues exploring “The 22 Rooms.” Part one focused on the covert phase of deceptive sexuality. In this second part, he turns to the exposure phase - when the hidden reality of the secret sexual basement is either discovered or disclosed. He examines the acute reality fragmentation that can occur at this stage, along with the associated attachment injury, before exploring the traumatic symptoms that often follow.