In this follow-up to our popular episode “What to Do When Your Partner Lacks Motivation,” we dive deeper into an important listener question: How do you tell the difference between a lack of motivation and a lack of ability in your partner?

At first glance, these two challenges can look the same—lack of movement, stalled growth, avoidance. But understanding what’s really happening changes everything. In this episode, we break down the differences between someone who won’t move forward (lack of motivation) and someone who can’t (lack of ability or skill) and what it means for your relationship.

We share personal stories, examples from our work with couples, and practical ways to recognize the difference—so you can respond in a way that creates connection instead of frustration.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [01:30] – The energetic difference between lack of motivation and lack of ability (and why it matters)
⏳ [04:30] – How lack of motivation shows up as stagnancy, avoidance, and numbing behaviors
⏳ [05:45] – What lack of ability looks like—movement, effort, clunky attempts, and vulnerability
⏳ [7:40] – Why imperfect attempts still build connection and intimacy
⏳ [10:45] – How motivation shows up when someone is pushing their personal edge
⏳ [13:30] – The importance of appreciating progress, even if it’s not perfect or complete
⏳ [20:00] – Why expecting your partner to think and act like you is a relationship killer
⏳ [21:15] – The truth about real relationships: effort and caring matter more than perfection

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey!

🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust 

If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help. 

📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program 

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

Let’s Stay Connected:

🌍Website 

📩Subscribe to My Email List 

📍Instagram

🪧Facebook

🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes 

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 289

Healing from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal journey, but why do some people seem to heal and move forward while others stay stuck? In today’s episode, we welcome back Dr. Jill Manning, a renowned therapist, researcher, and speaker with over 20 years of experience in betrayal trauma recovery.

Dr. Manning shares the key factors that help betrayed partners heal, as well as the common obstacles that slow down the recovery process. She offers practical steps to move through the pain and build a life of stability, connection, and renewed purpose—whether or not the relationship survives.

If you’ve been feeling stuck in your healing journey, this episode will give you clarity, direction, and hope.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [03:00] – The rising severity of betrayal trauma and why cases are more complex today
⏳ [08:15] – The 5 key factors that help betrayed partners heal (CAVED Framework)
⏳ [15:30] – Why connection is essential and how isolation keeps people stuck
⏳ [22:45] – The role of advocacy—having at least one person who truly understands you
⏳ [28:00] – Why validation is critical and how to avoid minimizing your experience
⏳ [34:10] – The impact of education—why learning about betrayal trauma helps you heal
⏳ [40:00] – Why having a clear roadmap (direction) makes all the difference

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need it. And don’t forget to leave a review—we’d love to hear how this podcast is supporting your healing journey!

🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust 

If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help. 

📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program 

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

Let’s Stay Connected:
🌍Website 
📩Subscribe to My Email List 
📍Instagram
🪧Facebook
🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes 

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

About Dr. Jill Manning:
Dr. Jill Manning is a distinguished clinician, speaker, researcher, and thought leader with over two decades of experience in addressing sexual betrayal, compulsive sexual behavior, and the impact of internet pornography on marriages and families. Her work has been widely recognized, with features in peer-reviewed journals, national television programs, documentaries, radio shows, podcasts, and publications such as The Oprah Magazine.

As a Social Science Fellow in Washington, D.C., Dr. Manning was invited to testify in 2005 before a U.S. Senate subcommittee, where she delivered compelling testimony on the harms of pornography on the family. Her advocacy and expertise continue to shape the conversation around these critical issues.

Originally from Calgary, Alberta, Dr. Manning now resides in Colorado, where she runs a private practice and leads monthly betrayal trauma intensives, offering specialized care and support to those affected by relational trauma.
https://drjillmanning.com/
https://drjillmanning.com/digital-downloads/
https://drjillmanning.com/intensives/
https://www.instagram.com/drjillmanning/

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 288

Have you ever felt stuck, unmotivated, or unsure how to move forward—especially in your relationship? In this episode, we’re flipping the script from our last discussion on what to do when your partner is unmotivated and speaking directly to the partner who feels stuck.

If you’re struggling with motivation, feeling overwhelmed, or comparing yourself to your more driven spouse, this episode is for you. We share why feeling unmotivated is a normal human experience, how to recognize if you’re actually doing more than you think, and most importantly, how to take small, imperfect steps forward—even when you don’t feel like it.

This is a judgment-free conversation about growth, movement, and self-compassion. If you or your partner are feeling stuck, we hope this episode brings clarity and encouragement.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [03:00] – Why feeling unmotivated is normal (and why we all go through it)
⏳ [06:45] – The importance of movement—even small, imperfect action counts
⏳ [10:30] – How to recognize if you’re doing more than you think (you may not be as stuck as you believe)
⏳ [13:50] – The impact of shame and comparison on motivation
⏳ [16:00] – How to communicate with your partner about your struggles without feeling pressured or judged

🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust 

If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help. 

📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program 

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:
✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

Let’s Stay Connected:
🌍Website 
📩Subscribe to My Email List 
📍Instagram
🪧Facebook
🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes 

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 287

When betrayal happens in a marriage, the emotional impact on a betrayed partner is overwhelming. But what about the children? How can a mother (or father) navigate their own healing while still being present for their children?

In this powerful episode, we’re joined by Dr. Jenet Erickson, an expert in family relationships and maternal mental health. She shares research-backed insights into the connection between mothers and children, how emotional regulation plays a role in both healing and parenting, and why you don’t have to be a perfect parent for your child to thrive.

If you’ve ever felt guilt or fear about how your trauma is affecting your kids, this episode offers hope, encouragement, and practical ways to show up for your children while also taking care of yourself.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [04:00] – The unseen impact of betrayal trauma on parenting
⏳ [07:10] – The science behind mother-child attachment and emotional regulation
⏳ [16:00] – The myth of shielding children from emotions—and why they need honesty instead
⏳ [20:00] – How taking care of your own healing benefits your children long-term
⏳ [24:10] – The power of small daily rituals (and why they matter more than hours of time)
⏳ [26:00] – How healing is possible no matter how much time has passed
⏳ [34:00] – Why your presence matters more than perfection in parenting

Key Takeaways:
✅ Children are resilient—they don’t need perfect parents, just present and emotionally engaged ones.
✅ Healing yourself first is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children.
✅ Small, predictable moments of connection (like bedtime stories or shared meals) are more important than constant time together.
✅ Children can handle emotions—what they struggle with is when their emotions are ignored or denied.
✅ It’s never too late to heal. Even if your children are grown, your healing still impacts them in powerful ways.

🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust 
If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help. 

📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program 

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:
✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

Let’s Stay Connected:
🌍Website 
📩Subscribe to My Email List 
📍Instagram
🪧Facebook
🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes 

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

About Jenet Erickson:
Jenet Jacob Erickson is an associate professor in Religious Education at Brigham Young University, where teaches the Eternal Family (Rel 200) course as well as the Introduction to Family Process (SFL 160) course for the School of Family Life. The 5th of 11 children, she was raised on a small farm in Orem, Utah, where they did lots of music together. She received a PhD in Family Social Science from the University of Minnesota, after completing a bachelor’s degree in Nursing, and master’s degree in Linguistics -TESOL at BYU. She is a research fellow of both the Wheatley Institute and the Institute for Family Studies and has been a columnist on family issues for the Deseret News since 2013. She and her husband, Michael, have been blessed with two children, LaDawn (age 13) and Peter (age 10), who provide them unending opportunities for learning and joy.

https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/jenet-erickson/designed-for-covenant-relationships/

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 286

What happens when you’re motivated, driven, and actively working on personal growth—but your partner isn’t? In this episode, we explore the challenges of navigating a relationship when one partner struggles with motivation—whether due to personal crises, depression, or long-standing patterns of complacency.

We discuss why this imbalance happens, how gender differences may play a role, and what you can do when your partner isn’t taking initiative in their own life. Whether you’re dealing with a spouse who lacks direction, struggles with personal responsibility, or seems stuck in shame or avoidance, this episode offers practical insights on how to stay focused on your own growth without losing connection in your relationship.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
⏳ [01:25] – The challenge of feeling “unequally yoked” in motivation and life direction
⏳ [02:00] – Why some people struggle with self-commitment and personal responsibility
⏳ [03:15] – How men and women often respond differently to feelings of failure or loss of direction
⏳ [09:50] – The two extremes: Over-independence (“You do you, I’ll do me”) vs. Over-dependence (“I have to carry you”)
⏳ [15:20] – Healthy ways to support your partner without over-functioning or losing yourself
⏳ [19:00] – The importance of boundaries, self-care, and focusing on your own life, goals, and well-being

Key Takeaways:
✅ You can’t force your partner to change, but you can focus on yourself and set healthy boundaries.
✅ The imbalance of motivation in a relationship can create frustration, resentment, and emotional exhaustion—it’s important to name it.
✅ Avoid falling into extremes: pulling away completely or over-functioning to “fix” the problem.
✅ It’s okay to live your life fully while still caring for your partner—but without enabling their avoidance.
✅ If your partner is making an effort, even in small ways, that can be a powerful sign of commitment.

🎁 Download My Free Course: First Steps to Rebuilding Trust (link in bio)
If you’re navigating broken trust in your relationship, whether you’re the one who broke it or you’ve been deeply impacted by it, this free video course can help. 

📋Join me in the Courageous Together™ Program 
If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

Let’s Stay Connected:
🌍Website 
📩Subscribe to My Email List 
📍Instagram
🪧Facebook
🎙️Listen to More Podcast Episodes 

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

Episode 285

In this episode, we explore the intersection of faith, mental health, and agency—how our ability to choose extends beyond simple decisions and impacts how we respond to betrayal, anxiety, depression, and life’s unexpected challenges.

Our guest, Brianna Holmes, is a therapist specializing in relationship issues, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum disorders. She also writes for Public Square Magazine and has published insightful articles on mental health and spirituality.

Together, we discuss how agency is more than just free will—it’s deeply connected to truth, meaning, and the way we engage with our experiences. Whether you’re facing the emotional weight of betrayal trauma, struggling with mental health, or wrestling with faith-based questions about suffering, this conversation offers new ways to see your choices, reframe your experience, and reclaim your power.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
🔹 How agency goes beyond free will—it’s also about how we engage with truth
🔹 Why feeling powerless after betrayal is normal and how to regain personal agency
🔹 The role of faith and spirituality in healing mental health struggles
🔹 How the meaning we assign to our experiences shapes our healing
🔹 The power of asking better questions—to God, ourselves, and others
🔹 Practical ways to expand our perspective and find peace in difficult circumstances

Join Me in the Courageous Together Program!

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap

✅ Live Q&A sessions with me

✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets

✅ Confidential and secure access

https://www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together

Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” 

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements! 

Connect with me on social media:
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK

Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

About Brianna Holmes:
Brianna Holmes has a master’s degree in marriage, couples, and family counseling from Idaho State University and is currently a practicing therapist in Farmington, Utah. She is especially passionate about working with adults and couples navigating relationship issues, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and postpartum disorders. In addition to working as a therapist, Brianna works for a faith-based magazine, Public Square Magazine, as an associate editor and has published many articles focusing on mental health and a variety of other topics. Brianna is a wife and mother of four. She enjoys spending time with her family, reading books, and cheering for her favorite hockey teams.

bholmes@publicsquaremag.org 

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

In today’s episode, we’re talking about something so many people ask—What if I’m bad at connection? What if I don’t know how to connect? If you’ve ever felt disconnected or unsure how to build meaningful relationships, you’re not alone. We’ll walk through the developmental roots of connection, how it’s learned, and what you can do if it wasn’t modeled for you growing up.

We’ll also explore what real connection looks like in relationships—especially for couples healing after betrayal. You’ll learn why connection isn’t always natural but can absolutely be developed. So if you’ve been wondering if there’s hope to feel truly seen and known by others, stick with us. There’s good news ahead.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

🔹 Why most of us start off as bad connectors—and how to get better at it

🔹 How early attachment patterns influence your ability to connect as an adult

🔹 Why connection requires courage, vulnerability, and practice

🔹 The difference between performing connection and real connection

🔹 Simple steps to build deeper, more authentic relationships

Join Me in the Courageous Together Program!
If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap
✅ Live Q&A sessions with me
✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets
✅ Confidential and secure access

https://www.geoffsteurer.com/courageous-together

Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” 

Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship.

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements! 

Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse: 

Connect with me on social media:
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK

Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

One of the most common questions I hear from couples navigating betrayal recovery is, “Is it even possible for us to heal?” If you’ve ever wondered the same thing, you’re not alone. In today’s episode, I’m sharing the five key things I’ve seen every couple do when they successfully heal from betrayal.

I’ll also help you reimagine what healing actually looks like—not just surviving, but creating a relationship that feels safe, connected, and even joyful again.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

Join me for a FREE webinar. REGISTER HERE

"Reclaiming Your Peace: What 400+ Couples & Individuals Revealed About Healing from Betrayal"

Join Me in the Courageous Together Program!

If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap

✅ Live Q&A sessions with me

✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets

✅ Confidential and secure access

💡 Stay tuned for the program launch! Join my email list to be the first to know when doors open.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might benefit. I’d love to hear your thoughts—leave a review and let me know what’s working for you!

Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” 

Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship.

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements! 

Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse. 

Connect with me on social media:
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK

Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

About Geoff Steurer: 
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

I was honored to be a guest on KayLee Dunn's "Navigating Betrayal" Podcast discussing: "Timing is Everything: When to Begin Rebuilding as a Couple After Betrayal".

Are you wondering when the right time is to begin rebuilding your relationship after betrayal? Join us as we dive into this critical question.

* Key times it's time to start rebuilding as a couple

* How to navigate the healing process together

* Practical tips to regain trust and connection

Whether you're in the thick of betrayal recovery or considering your next steps, this episode is for you. Let's uncover the path forward - together.

Join Me in the Courageous Together Program!
If you’re looking for structured guidance, support, and a clear roadmap for recovery, check out my Courageous Together Program—an online course and support system designed to help couples rebuild trust and connection. Inside, you’ll get:

✅ A structured healing roadmap

✅ Live Q&A sessions with me

✅ Exclusive video lessons and worksheets

✅ Confidential and secure access

💡 Stay tuned for the program launch! Join my email list to be the first to know when doors open.

Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” 

Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship.

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements! 

Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse: 

Connect with me on social media:
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK

Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

Meet KayLee:
❤️Founder of the Betrayal Navigation Academy

❤️Host of the Navigating Betrayal podcast

❤️Founder and Administrator of the Humans Navigating Betrayal Facebook Group

❤️Creator of the REBIRTH After Betrayal Coaching Program

KayLee is a compassionate clinician and coach, dedicated to helping individuals trust themselves again and move past intimate betrayals.

If you're interested in more, join us on our FREE FB group:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/humansnavigatingbetrayal

Find Free Betrayal Navigation Resources
kayleedunn.com/links

Connect with KayLee on:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heykayleedunn/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/navigatingbetrayal/

***While KayLee is and has been a Betrayal Trauma Therapist for over a decade, this material (and all material on social media) is educational in nature. It is not a substitute or replacement for treatment with a specialized therapist or doctor.

If you’ve ever caught yourself checking your partner’s phone, feeling anxious when they’re late, or wondering if you’ll ever trust again, you’re not alone. In today’s episode, I’m diving into the four hidden fears that keep so many people stuck after betrayal—and, more importantly, how you can move past them.

These fears aren’t signs of weakness. They’re normal responses to an abnormal situation. I’ve seen these fears show up again and again. I’ll walk you through each one and share insights on how to work through them.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
🔹 The fear of being hurt again—and how to regain a sense of safety
🔹 How to rebuild trust in yourself after betrayal
🔹 What to do if you’re afraid your partner will never change
🔹 Why it’s not necessarily too late to fix things, even if it feels that way
🔹 Practical steps to shift out of fear-based thinking and into healing

Join me for a FREE webinar. REGISTER HERE: "Reclaiming Your Peace: What 400+ Couples & Individuals Revealed About Healing from Betrayal"

Broken trust? Download my FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” 

Join my 12-week program, The Trust Building Bootcamp, to heal your broken relationship.

Sign up for our FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements! 

Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse: 

Connect with me on social media:
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK

Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources.

About Geoff Steurer:
I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 20 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 10 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.

About Jody Steurer:
Jody has been a strong voice supporting women as co-host of the podcast “Speak Up Sister”. She completed a bachelor's degree in psychology from Brigham Young University and is an ACA certified coach. She runs a small business and has years of experience in corporate training and organization. Jody’s most challenging work has been raising her four children (two of which are on the autism spectrum). She loves to do landscape design, paint in watercolor, spend time outdoors, and snow ski.

The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.