When betrayal enters a relationship, it doesn’t just break trust - it fractures a person’s sense of self, safety, and connection. In this episode, we explore the ten core wounds that betrayed partners often experience, each one carrying its own story and its own emotional truth:

• Worthiness Wound – “I’m not enough.”
• Safety Wound – “I’m not safe.”
• Reality Wound – “I can’t trust myself.”
• Control Wound – “I have to manage everything.”
• Belonging Wound – “I’m alone in this.”
• Burden Wound – “I have to carry everything.”
• Abandonment Wound – “You’ll leave me.”
• Inadequacy Wound – “I’m not as good as what I was betrayed with.”
• Powerlessness Wound – “I didn’t have a choice.”
• Trust Wound – “Trust is dangerous.”

Each wound reveals a different layer of the emotional devastation betrayal creates - and each one shapes how betrayed partners think, feel, and try to protect themselves in the aftermath.

In this episode, Marnie breaks down what these wounds look like in real life, how they impact day-to-day interactions, and why healing them requires understanding, patience, and consistent repair. We also talk directly to betrayers, offering a compassionate but honest framework for recognizing the impact of their actions and supporting their partner’s healing journey.

This episode is an invitation to move beyond surface reactions and into the deeper emotional landscape of betrayal - where clarity, empathy, and repair become possible. This episode is an invitation to move beyond surface reactions and into the deeper emotional landscape of betrayal - where clarity, empathy, and repair become possible.

Click here to download your free worksheet. This worksheet walks both partners through all ten wounds, helping identify which ones are active, how they’re showing up, and what healing might require.

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In this episode, Marnie sits down with two of her colleagues from Northern California, Jeanne Vattuone and Tim Stein to talk about Finding The Way Through, their new workbook designed to integrate sobriety, recovery, and betrayed partner sensitivity into the healing process.

Purchase the workbook Finding the Way Through: A Workbook for Sex and Pornography Addiction here!

Click here to join The Healing Room.

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In what was originally intended to be a structured discussion on “The Ten Steps to Constructing the Secret Sexual Basement,” this episode took an unexpected and deeply personal turn. Instead, I’m joined by Dr. Omar Minwalla for a raw, unfiltered conversation that traces the arc of our individual and shared professional journeys.

What unfolds is a rare, intimate glimpse into the foundation of a long-standing friendship - one built on mutual respect, hard truths, and a shared commitment to integrity, even when it’s uncomfortable or controversial. We talk openly about what it means to stay committed to telling the truth, to each other and to the work, despite pushback or disagreement.

This was never meant to be a public conversation - but by the end, we both felt that what emerged was too meaningful not to share. I believe listeners will find resonance, insight, and maybe even a sense of companionship and loyalty in the honesty of this exchange.

Dr. Minwalla will be back soon and hopefully next time we’ll get to the secret basement. Until then, this is something different… and maybe more important.

Want to connect with us? Schedule your free 15-minute call here.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie explores the delicate balance of grief and hope in couples working to heal after betrayal. She shares why grief must be honored - not rushed, bypassed, or minimized - and how acknowledging the depth of loss is an essential step toward authentic healing. At the same time, Marnie reminds us that grief does not have to define your whole story. By integrating grief into the narrative of your relationship, you create space for resilience, growth, and new possibilities. This episode offers a compassionate invitation to couples: you can carry grief and hope side by side, honoring what was lost while also making room for what can still be built.

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Get your free reflection guide to go along with this episode here! 

In this continuation of our conversation with Chandler Rogers, we dive deeper into his journey of recovery from pornography addiction and the ongoing challenges of healing within his marriage. Chandler shares honestly about what it means to keep showing up in the work of recovery—not just for himself, but for his relationship—and how hope can grow even in the midst of setbacks. 

We also explore Chandler’s powerful decision to create Relay, an app designed to fill in the gaps he saw in traditional recovery support. Relay was born out of his own experience and the recognition that people struggling with addiction need consistent accountability, connection, and encouragement outside of therapy or group sessions.

Chandler's story is an important reminder that Recovery is ongoing. Healing from porn and sex addiction isn’t a one-time choice—it’s a daily practice of showing up for yourself and your relationship. This episode offers inspiration, practical insight, and a reminder that healing—both personally and in a marriage—is possible when we’re willing to reach for support and keep leaning into growth.

Want to Learn more about Relay? Click here

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In this follow-up conversation with therapist and author Jon Lee, we continue our deep dive into emotional regression and its profound impact on couples recovering from betrayal. Building on the foundation we laid in Part 1, Jon and I explore how regression shows up in relationships—when intense pain, fear, or shame pulls partners back into younger emotional states that can feel overwhelming and destabilizing.

We discuss the ways regression complicates communication, trust-building, and repair, and how it can create cycles of disconnection even when both partners desperately want to heal. Jon offers clinical insight and compassionate strategies for recognizing regression in real time, staying grounded, and learning how to respond to one another with empathy instead of reactivity.

Whether you’re a betrayed partner, a person working to rebuild integrity, or a couple navigating the aftermath together, this episode provides tools and perspective to help you move toward connection rather than getting stuck in regressed patterns.

Want to connect with us? Click here to book a free 15-minute call.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Chandler Rogers, a recovering porn addict and the founder of Relay, a group-based recovery app designed to support those on their healing journey. Chandler shares his personal story of seeking help for his addiction long before it was discovered—a rare and powerful experience that sheds light on the strength it takes to face the truth head-on.

He opens up about the vulnerability it required to be honest with his now-wife early in their relationship, the ups and downs of recovery, and the reality that honesty doesn’t erase the ongoing struggles. Chandler reflects on moments of setback, the weight of shame, and the vital role that connection, accountability, and personal ownership have played not only in his healing but also in inspiring him to create a community where others can find hope and support. Also, be sure to catch Marnie's conversation with Scott and Susan Rankin just before the podcast starts about the HCH Online Couples Community, a supportive space designed for deep connection and healing, opening its doors to a small group of couples this September.

Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call

In this episode, Marnie unpacks a critical truth in the betrayal recovery process: sexual sobriety is not the same as relational healing. In other words, just because the acting out has stopped doesn’t mean the relationship is safe or healing. In fact, ongoing emotional / integrity abuse can re-traumatize a betrayed partner. 

Marnie explores why emotional sobriety is just as essential as sexual sobriety, and what it really takes to rebuild trust and connection after betrayal. A betrayed partner needs emotional safety, not just behavioral changes. Trust isn’t rebuilt by abstinence — it’s rebuilt by transparency, accountability, and empathy.

Simply stopping problematic sexual behaviors (porn, affairs, acting out) does not address the underlying relational damage caused by betrayal. True healing involves rebuilding the foundation of the relationship.

If you've ever said or heard "But I'm sober...”, this conversation is for you.

In this powerful and eye-opening conversation, Marnie sits down with renowned author and therapist John Lee, whose classic book Growing Yourself Back Up has helped thousands understand the profound impact of emotional regression on adult relationships. 

Together, we explore what emotional regression is and how it silently shapes our reactions, the difference between responding as an empowered adult vs. a wounded child, and how identifying your own triggers and patterns of regression can create healthier relationships.

We introduce practical tools for recognizing when you’ve been “emotionally hijacked” and how to avoid relational ruptures in those moments. Perhaps most important, we discuss the importance of developing the necessary awareness and compassion that can break cycles of blame, withdrawal, fighting, and relational despair. 

If you’ve ever wondered why certain moments with your partner (or any loved ones) trigger outsize reactions or why the wounds of betrayal take over in the heat of conflict - this conversation is for you.

Learning how to spot and shift emotional regression is one of the most empowering skills we can develop—for ourselves and our relationships.

Buy John's book Growing Yourself Back Up Here!

Purchase The Anger Solution Master Class Here!

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with betrayal trauma coach and actress Maddie Corman to explore the profound power of community in the healing journey. Maddie opens up about the importance of not going through pain alone, and how finding connection with others can be a lifeline during life’s most difficult moments. We also discuss the Empowered at Sea retreat, a transformative experience designed to support, uplift, empower, and inspire. Join us for a heartfelt conversation about resilience, support, and the courage to heal together.

Learn more about Empowered at Sea: https://helpingcouplesheal.com/empowered-at-sea/