Helping Couples Heal Podcast

In this episode, Marnie explores a common experience for many betrayed partners: returning to the betrayal again and again, revisiting details, asking the same questions, and trying to understand what happened.  

Marnie explains why this process is often a normal and necessary part of healing, especially when your sense of safety and reality has been shattered. She talks about how this process actually helps move relationships forward rather than cause further harm.

Using insights from neuroscience and her years of experience supporting couples impacted by betrayal, Marnie discusses how betrayal can disrupt a person's sense of reality and why the brain naturally works to make sense of new and painful information. She uses the metaphor of a filing cabinet to illustrate how healing often involves reorganizing your understanding of the relationship and your story in light of what has been discovered.

Marnie also shares why healing does not require leaving the past behind and how the willingness of the betraying partner to revisit difficult conversations, answer questions, and stay present with their partner's pain can support both individual and relational healing.

If you find yourself repeatedly thinking about the betrayal, searching for understanding, or wondering why you cannot simply "move on," this episode offers validation, perspective, and an understanding of what healing after betrayal can look like.

Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie welcomes Scott back to the podcast to explore a personal part of recovery: the abandonment wound.

Scott shares how an early fear of being unwanted, not mattering, or not being good enough shaped the way he experienced relationships, fueled perfectionism and external validation, and ultimately complicated his ability to show up for Laura after his betrayal was discovered. While Laura was navigating the pain of betrayal trauma, Scott was confronting an intense fear of being rejected and left, creating a painful cycle of pursuit, anger, distance, and repair.

Together, Marnie and Scott explore why abandonment wounds can become especially complicated after betrayal, how they can distort our perception of a partner's boundaries and behavior, and why healing requires more than therapy, meetings, or simply understanding where the wound came from. Scott shares what helped him develop greater emotional regulation, take responsibility for his behavior, separate his abandonment wound from his relationship with Laura, and begin learning something he had struggled to believe for most of his life: that he matters simply because he is.

This conversation is an honest look at the uncomfortable work of recovery, including accountability, self-awareness, learning to tolerate discomfort, and recognizing when old wounds are driving present-day reactions. Scott also shares what his relationship with Laura looks like today and how developing the ability to care for himself has changed their relationship in profound ways.

Visit Scott’s Website and Learn More about Trident Healing Here.

Click Here to Schedule a Free 15-Minute Call with Helping Couples Heal.

In this episode, Marnie explores the often misunderstood topic of dependency and how our early experiences shape the way we relate to our needs, our relationships, and ourselves. Drawing on the work of Pia Mellody and the foundations of shame resilience, she examines why asking for help can feel so difficult and how shame can keep us disconnected from the very support we need.

Marnie unpacks three common dependency stances: over-dependency, anti-dependency, and the "needless/wantless" adaptation. She explains how each develops as a survival response, how each impacts intimacy and connection, and why these patterns often leave people feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or unseen.

She also explores the difference between needs and wants, the role of self-care in emotional health, and what it means to move toward healthy interdependence. Through practical examples and reflection questions, Marnie offers a framework for identifying needs, communicating them more clearly, and building deeper, more authentic relationships.

Click here to learn more & join The Healing Room!

Download the Understanding Dependency handout and reflection questions here.

Want to connect with us? Schedule your free 15-minute call.

In this episode, Marnie explores the importance of carefully choosing who you trust with your healing. When you have already experienced betrayal, deception, and a loss of trust, finding the right person to support you through recovery can feel scary and confusing. Marnie discusses the difference between clinical expertise, personal experience, and anecdotal advice, and why it is important to understand where the guidance you receive is coming from.

Marnie also addresses healing timelines and why there is no universal timeline for recovery. She explores how comparing your healing to someone else's can create shame and make you feel like you are falling behind when, in reality, healing is a deeply personal and non-linear experience.

Throughout the episode, Marnie offers practical questions to help you vet therapists, coaches, and other professionals, including specific questions about their training, experience, ongoing education, supervision, and approach to care. She also emphasizes the importance of humility, collaboration, and knowing the difference between evidence, clinical experience, and opinion.

Most importantly, Marnie reminds listeners that the helping relationship should never become another betrayal. You deserve to know who you are trusting with your healing, and you deserve support that honors the complexity of what you have been through.

Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute consultation.

In this follow-up to the previous episode, Marnie revisits the conversation about grief, healing, and moving forward after betrayal. Reflecting on what she wishes she had said, she expands on two important ideas that deserve further exploration.

First, Marnie discusses the reality that healing is not dependent on the outcome of your relationship. While rebuilding a relationship after betrayal is possible when both partners are committed to the work, healing and growth are also possible when the path forward leads elsewhere. She explores the fear that often accompanies both staying and leaving, and why reclaiming yourself is an essential part of the healing process regardless of the choices you make.

Marnie also clarifies an important distinction between grief and grieving. While grief is the ongoing experience of loss that accompanies betrayal trauma, grieving is the active process of moving through that loss. Understanding the difference can help create more realistic expectations for healing and offer compassion for yourself as you navigate your healing journey.

If you are struggling to make sense of your grief, wondering what healing might look like on the other side of betrayal, or feeling uncertain about the future of your relationship, this episode offers additional perspective on what it means to honor your losses while continuing to move forward.

Want to connect with us? Click here to book your free 15-minute call. 

In this episode, Marnie explores a painful reality of healing after betrayal: the relationship you thought you had before discovery no longer exists. While it is natural to long for the "before" and wish things could return to the way they were, holding on to that version of the relationship can sometimes keep you stuck in grief and prevent you from moving forward.

Marnie discusses why healing requires grieving the loss of the relationship you believed you had, accepting the reality of what has happened, and creating space for something new to emerge. She explores the role of grief in betrayal trauma recovery, the challenges of letting go, and why acceptance is not the same as approval.

Marnie also shares ways to navigate the grieving process, including identifying specific losses, honoring the version of yourself that existed before discovery, finding healthy outlets for grief, and creating intentional time to process painful emotions.

If you're struggling to let go of the relationship you thought you had before discovery, this episode explores why grief is such an important part of healing and how making space for that grief can help you move forward.

Interested in joining our upcoming support group for betrayed men? Click here to join the waitlist.

Want to connect with us? Click here to book your free 15-minute call.

On this special episode of the Helping Couples Heal Podcast, Marnie and Maddie are joined by Ally, Amy, and Shauna, who attended our first Empowered at Sea retreat. Together, they share honest reflections about what it was like to step away from daily responsibilities, prioritize their own healing, and spend a week surrounded by women who understand the pain of betrayal trauma.

The conversation explores the unique experience of healing in community, the power of being seen and understood, and the relief of no longer carrying the weight of betrayal alone. They discuss the connections they formed, the courage it took to show up vulnerably, and how the retreat created space for both grief and joy to coexist.

From trauma release exercises and group discussions to laughter, dancing, and unexpected moments of delight, this episode highlights an important truth: healing is not only about processing pain. It is also about reconnecting with yourself, reclaiming your voice, and remembering that joy is still possible.

Whether you're feeling isolated in your healing, wondering if you'll ever feel like yourself again, or curious about the healing power of community, this conversation offers hope, validation, and a reminder that you do not have to walk this journey alone.

The second annual Empowered at Sea retreat will take place August 1-7, 2026. To learn more about the retreat and register, click here.

Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

In this episode, Marnie speaks with Candice Christiansen about navigating betrayal trauma through the lens of neuro-difference, an incredibly important topic we have not focused on before on the Helping Couples Heal Podcast. Together, they explore why traditional recovery models may not always meet the needs of individuals and couples navigating autism, ADHD, trauma, and betrayal.

Candice shares both her personal story and more than two decades of clinical experience supporting neuro-different adults and couples. Together, she and Marnie explore how betrayal trauma can impact neuro-different nervous systems, why a neuro-affirming approach can be an important part of recovery, and how couples can begin understanding each other’s communication styles, sensory experiences, and expressions of empathy with clarity and compassion.

Their conversation also touches on the added complexity of betrayal trauma when autism or ADHD may be present, common misunderstandings around empathy and emotional processing, and how healing often requires individualized support rather than a one-size-fits-all approach. 

Throughout the episode, Candice offers compassion, clarity, and hope for individuals and couples navigating betrayal trauma alongside neuro-difference, and reinforces that healing looks different for every person. Meaningful support and connection are possible.

Resources Mentioned in This Episode

Learn more about Candice and her work here: CandiceChristiansen.com

Visit the Namaste Center for Healing here: Namasté Center for Healing

Interested in Candice’s book Love, Sex & Autism? Learn more and purchase here: Love, Sex & Autism

Candice mentions Embrace Autism as a helpful resource for autism education and self-screening tools: Embrace Autism Website

Interested in Candice’s Autism Self-Screening Tool? Reach out to her at [email protected]

Want to connect with us? Click here to schedule your free 15-minute call.

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie sits down with Ned Fulmer, YouTuber, producer, content creator, and online personality, for a deeply honest conversation about the consequences of betrayal, what he has come to understand about its impact on his wife Ariel, and the long road of accountability and healing that follows.

While much of Ned’s story became publicly known through the discovery of his affair, this conversation moves beyond the headlines and into the emotional reality of what came after. Ned reflects on the collapse of his private and public life, and the profound ways his choices impacted his marriage, his wife, his identity, and his sense of self.

He speaks about what he has learned through treatment and recovery, including how denial, compartmentalization, and distorted thinking contributed to his behavior. Over time, through therapy and structured support, he began to recognize the depth of harm caused to his partner and the reality of partner trauma in a more embodied and personal way.

Ned also shares what the consequences of his actions looked like in real time, including the loss of relationships, career disruption, public scrutiny, and the internal reckoning that followed. Within that collapse, he describes the beginning of a different kind of work, one centered on accountability, emotional honesty, and rebuilding a life grounded in integrity rather than image.

Throughout the conversation, Marnie and Ned explore the impact of betrayal on the nervous system and identity of the betrayed partner, and what it takes for a betraying partner to begin truly seeing and understanding that level of pain without minimizing, denying, or bypassing it.

If you or your partner are navigating the aftermath of betrayal and want support, we invite you to connect with our team to explore what healing might look like for you and how we can best support you in your healing journey. You can click here to book your free 15-minute call.

In this episode, Marnie talks with Patty, a female betrayer, and Judith Nisenson, a betrayal trauma coach, to confront the often-ignored reality that women betray too. They dive deep into the unique patterns of female betrayal, the emotional drivers behind it, and the specific challenges women face when seeking recovery in a field traditionally focused on male betrayers.

The conversation explores:

• Patty’s personal story: A brave and vulnerable account of a lifelong pattern of betrayal, from early childhood emotional detachment and teenage sexual trauma to two marriages and a secret sexual basement.
• The nuances of female infidelity: Judith discusses why women's reasons for cheating often differ from men's, highlighting themes of emotional neglect, a lack of self-identity, and the chameleon effect of morphing to fit others' expectations.
• The double standard of shame: A discussion on the societal and "Scarlet Letter" stigmas that create an extra layer of isolation and self-loathing for female betrayers.
• A roadmap to recovery: Vital resources for healing are shared, including 12-step programs (SAA, SLAA) and specialized coaching groups.

Whether you are a woman or a man, a betrayer seeking to understand your own patterns or a betrayed partner navigating the trauma of betrayal, this episode offers a compassionate and honest space for healing and hope.

Resources:

• Helping Couples Heal Services: Click here to learn more about our ongoing coaching group for female betrayers.
• Connect with Judith Nisenson: Visit womenswrk.com to learn more about Judith’s work with female betrayers.
• Join a Coaching Group: Explore Judith’s eight-week curriculum-based coaching groups for women by clicking here.
• Tune in to "Women Cheat Too": Check out Judith's podcast for bite-sized episodes on navigating female betrayal here.
• Resources for Men: To learn more about the male betrayed partners group led by Adam (Judith’s husband), click here.
• Want to connect with us? Click here to book your free 15-minute call