From Pissed Off to Poised- A Podcast for Busy Women Professionals

Today, we’re diving into something every parent can relate to: managing those waves of anger and frustration in our interactions with our kids. Let’s be real—those moments are hard. But when we pause to look inward, we often realize that the most important work in parenting isn’t about fixing our kids—it’s about working on ourselves.

In this episode, I’m sharing five practical, heart-centered strategies to help you navigate those tough moments with more calm and intention. These tips will not only help you connect more deeply with your kids but also empower them to grow into emotionally resilient and healthy individuals.

Parenting has a way of stretching us in all the best and most challenging ways. But here’s the thing: every tricky moment is an opportunity to grow alongside our kids. The work you’re doing inside yourself doesn’t just make you better—it ripples out to your whole family.

For me, this journey was about repairing the bond with my children and creating a relationship where they actually wanted to spend time with us—even when they didn’t have to. And let me tell you, seeing that play out is a win I’m endlessly grateful for. Let’s talk about how you can get there too.

What You'll Learn: 

• Understand how responding to your child’s words, not their tone, can transform the energy of your interactions.
• Explore ways to help your kids navigate life’s ups and downs, building their resilience.
• Reflect on how your own childhood experiences shape your parenting approach.
• Learn the distinction between acceptance and condoning—fostering calm, thoughtful responses without endorsing negative behaviors.

Featured:

• Take the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) Survey.
• Find more parenting tips from Bev Aron.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Last week, I shared practical strategies to deepen the connection with your life partner.  We looked at how the need to be right has a cost in your relationship, and I shared the practice of changing your interactions with your partner by visualizing the unconditional love you have for them.

Today, I’m thrilled to have my husband, Dr. Michael DePalma, join me for an honest and inspiring conversation about how we transformed our relationship by understanding and redirecting our reactive patterns. You’ll hear how we shifted from letting external stressors spark conflict to using them as opportunities to strengthen our bond—and even turn disagreements into playful moments of connection.

Let’s face it: relationships can be challenging, especially when life feels overwhelming. But there’s a reason you chose to share your life with your partner. Together, we’ll explore how small shifts in mindset and communication can reignite that spark and bring you closer than ever.

Tune in for a heartfelt and actionable episode that will leave you inspired to take the first step toward a more fulfilling relationship.

What You'll Learn: 

• Recognize that anger is often misdirected and misunderstood as a personal attack.
• Learn how managing anger improves our relationships with our children.
• Explore examples of how our approach to situations has changed since adopting coaching strategies.
• Discover how to start improving your relationship, even if you're skeptical about anger management strategies.

Featured:

• Learn more about Dr. Michael DePalma and his new Integrative Medicine Programs at Connected Coherence, MD.
• Listen to episode 16: Building Connection with Your Life Partner.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Doing the work to change your anger responses isn’t just powerful—it’s transformative. It creates a ripple effect that touches every corner of your life, including your most important relationships. For me, one of the biggest shifts happened in my marriage. I used to carry reactionary tendencies and misdirected frustrations into my relationship, creating unnecessary tension. But as I worked on myself, I learned how to show up with vulnerability and build communication styles that strengthened our connection. The result? A healthier relationship and a much more peaceful home.

In this episode, I’m sharing 10 actionable strategies to help you build deeper connection and intimacy in your relationship. We’ll explore how to uncover hidden expectations, shift unhelpful patterns, and rewrite the metaphorical dance you and your partner may be stuck in.

Take what resonates, leave the rest, and find what fits your unique relationship dynamic. Remember, even the smallest changes in one area can spark powerful growth in others. Let’s get started!

What You'll Learn: 

• Understand how frustration-fueled behaviors harm relationships by masking deeper pain.
• Discover the power of meeting your own needs and giving yourself what you truly want.
• Practice an exercise to improve deep listening during difficult conversations with your partner.
• Learn how using “Yes, and” instead of “Yes, but” can transform your communication.

Featured:

• Get more details on the HeartMath institute.
• Find more information about Eckhart Tolle and the concept of the pain-body

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Transforming your relationship with anger starts with two powerful practices: self-compassion and vulnerability. In this episode of From Pissed Off to Poised, I dive deep into these essentials and explore how compassion and vulnerability work hand-in-hand to create real, lasting change in your life.

When we’re compassionate with ourselves, we create the foundation for vulnerability—the openness to really feel our emotions, without judgment. This openness is what lets us notice the moments where things went wrong, so we can step in and repair those connections. Vulnerability isn't a weakness; it’s what strengthens our ability to show up for ourselves and others with empathy and grace.

We’re all human, and part of this journey is accepting that we're going to stumble. It's easy to be hard on ourselves when we react in ways we're not proud of, but that’s why self-compassion is key. When you can extend yourself grace in these moments, you’re choosing to move forward with love and kindness, empowering yourself to show up even better next time.

What You'll Learn: 

• Explore how cultivating self-compassion and vulnerability supports you in working through emotions in a healthier, more constructive way.
• Recognize the role of self-compassion in releasing the shame often carried around anger, creating space for growth.
• Understand the challenge of embracing vulnerability, especially when it feels risky to face the intense emotions behind your anger.
• Learn how allowing yourself to be vulnerable creates space for difficult emotions to flow, helping you understand your reactions with clearer perspective and insight.

Featured:

• Click HERE to access the Rupture and Repair pdf with pointers on how to cultivate stronger connections.
• Listen to episode 9 for a reminder about how we can get a handle on those negative emotions instead of showing up with these unproductive ways instead.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

As I’ve shared in previous episodes, when your threat detection system is activated, it’s natural to default to reacting in anger or frustration. But I’ve also talked about how our human brains, thanks to neuroplasticity, have the ability to change those automatic reactions. In this episode, I’ll guide you through the process of shifting from reaction to response, helping you build the mental muscle to face activating challenges with greater control.

You’ll discover how to create new neural pathways that allow you to respond differently to anger activators and explore practical exercises to help you shift your habits over time. This isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about building awareness, making intentional choices, and sticking with the process until these new responses feel natural.

While this change doesn’t happen overnight, it does happen with consistent practice. And every time you catch yourself and choose to respond with intention, it’s a victory worth celebrating. Remember: progress is what matters, not perfection.

What You'll Learn: 

• Learn how building mental muscle memory helps you prepare for activating situations by analyzing past reactions.
• Understand the negative effects of unprocessed anger, whether held in or expressed outwardly.
• Explore why self-judgment occurs during setbacks and how to replace it with compassion using practical analogies.
• Practice habits to shift anger responses and replace unproductive automatic behaviors.

Featured:

• Click HERE to access the Rupture and Repair pdf with pointers on how to cultivate stronger connections.
• Find more information about the Positive Intelligence course.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

In this episode of From Pissed Off to Poised, I’m thrilled to welcome my dear friend and client, Dr. Shelley Fiscus. Together, we explore how she transformed her anger in real time during a significant life transition that wasn’t entirely her choice. Faced with plenty of reasons to feel frustrated, Dr. Fiscus found a way to process her emotions and make peace with her circumstances.

We dive into how I guided Dr. Fiscus with a tool used for emotional processing, helping her pinpoint where her anger was showing up in her body. This awareness became a key step in working through her emotions and understanding the connection between her thoughts, feelings, and physical experiences.

Dr. Fiscus opens up about her initial skepticism toward emotional processing and how the practical tools she adopted helped her transform anger into a more empowering perspective. She shares how these tools have not only benefited her in the moment but continue to support her today. You’ll also hear how she has developed greater awareness of where emotions manifest in her body and how she identifies when it’s time to address and process them. This inspiring conversation is a powerful testament to emotional resilience and growth—one you won’t want to miss.

About Dr. Shelley Fiscus

Dr. Michelle Fiscus, a board-certified pediatrician and public health advocate, practiced pediatrics in Franklin, TN, for 17 years before transitioning to public health in 2016. She served as Medical Director for Tennessee’s Vaccine-Preventable Diseases and Immunization Program, leading COVID-19 vaccination efforts until July 2021. Now the inaugural Chief Medical Officer of the Association of Immunization Managers, she supports 64 CDC-funded immunization programs across the U.S. Dr. Fiscus has also worked as a senior health policy consultant, served on the American Academy of Pediatrics Board, and is a proud graduate of Indiana University.

What You'll Learn: 

• Explore the complex emotions that often accompany anger in challenging situations.
• Learn how visualization and breathing exercises can help you shift anger, even if you’re initially skeptical.
• Recognize the challenges of identifying where emotions live in your body, especially if you’ve been conditioned to ignore your feelings.
• Understand why processing your emotions is essential for transforming anger into a more constructive response.

Featured:

• Learn more about Dr. Shelley Fiscus’ story HERE.
• Connect with Dr. Shelley Fiscus by visiting her website.
• Find more information about Fiscus Glassworks and the custom stained glass art and restoration done by Dr. Shelley Fiscus.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Back in Episode 5 of From Pissed Off to Poised, I introduced the Mini Anger Protocol—a quick tool to help you navigate those heated moments when anger takes over. Today, we’re diving deeper. In this episode, I’ll break down how the protocol works, step by step, and guide you through an 8-step process to create a more personalized, comprehensive approach.

This isn’t just about calming down; it’s about equipping yourself to respond with clarity and confidence in any situation. We’ll revisit the attitude breathing exercise and explore how to weave it seamlessly into your protocol. I’ll also highlight the importance of stepping away when anger spikes and show you how to tune into your body to pinpoint the exact emotion you’re feeling—and understand its influence.

Here’s the thing: preparation is everything. When you take the time to craft and practice your protocol in a calm environment, you’re training yourself to show up differently in the heat of the moment. That first time you catch yourself pausing and choosing a mindful response instead of reacting? It’s a powerful shift, proof of the impact of your work and the incentive to keep on doing more of it. Let’s get started.

What You'll Learn: 

• Recognize your activators to build a protocol that truly works for you.
• Enhance mental clarity and cognitive performance by breathing in positive emotions to create coherent heart rhythms.
• Rescheduling or bringing in support is always an option if you’re unable to show up intentionally, even after following your protocol.
• Using your protocol can inspire those around you to shift their responses too.

Featured:

• Refer back to episodes two, three and four where I talk about awareness behind why we become angry.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

In this episode, I introduce the concept of "going to neutral"—a powerful practice that helps you pause when emotions flare, so you can respond with intention, not reaction. I’m sharing practical tools and insights to help you consciously create a calm, balanced space by aligning your heart and mind.

We’ll dive into exercises that tap into the heart's role in transforming how we show up, especially when anger arises. By understanding the unique rhythms of your heart and pairing that with cognitive techniques, you can slow down emotional reactions and regain control over how you respond.

My goal is to give you a toolkit of practices you can personalize. Find the ones that speak to you, and start building your own approach. Each of us needs a unique blend to shape a more positive mindset—explore these tools and create the pathway that works best for you.

What You'll Learn: 

• Powerful breathing exercises to dampen the intensity of negative emotions, giving you more control over your responses.
• How to harness your heart’s electromagnetic field—the strongest in your body—to create coherence with other systems, helping you find calm when emotions run high.
• The “Go to Neutral” tool, a strategy to halt anger before it escalates, allowing you to stay present and uncover the true roots of your feelings.
• Real-life examples of how these techniques have transformed my approach to anger and can also reshape the way you respond.

Featured:

• Find more information about the book: Transforming Anger: The HeartMath Solution for Letting Go of Rage, Frustration and Irritation.
• Get more details on the HeartMath training course.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

In this episode, we dive into understanding our reactions to anger by exploring whether it’s truly anger we’re feeling—or if it’s something deeper that’s yet to surface. I’m excited to welcome Bev Aron, who shares her insights on how processing our emotions can lead us to uncover the real causes behind our anger and how we react to it.

One key element in processing emotions—especially the difficult ones, which might even be harder to face than anger itself—is recognizing how they show up in your body. Bev breaks down the difference between true anger and other emotions that can masquerade as anger, and she offers a simple technique to help you pinpoint what’s really going on when you’re in a tense situation.

Whether you’re just starting on this path or have been working on it for a while, Bev’s advice is invaluable. Together, we explore a practical approach to build the self-awareness you need to better understand and navigate your emotions in the heat of the moment.

About Bev Aron

Bev Aron is the Founder of the Deep Dive Coach™ Institute, where she created the Deep Dive Coach™ method, an impactful blend of cognitive coaching with deep processing and infinite self regard. Bev’s mission is to increase our awareness of how we always make sense, and increase our capability and capacity through awareness and self-recognition, rather than self- criticism.

What You'll Learn: 

• Understand that anger exists on a spectrum, with true anger arising when something deeply important to us is compromised.
• Learn a practical technique to process your emotions effectively during high-stress situations.
• Gain powerful insights into generational trauma and how healing yourself can also help heal others in your family who came before you.
• Recognize that all emotions are valid—no matter how you react, your feelings are never wrong nor bad.

Featured:

• Learn more about my mentor, Bev Aron, and sign up for her weekly email and monthly video HERE.
• Explore more about marriage and family therapist, author, and speaker Dr. Bonnie Badenoch.
• Learn more about the exercise to uncover hidden emotions from The Journey healing method by Brandon Bays.
• Click HERE to receive my Underlying Emotions Iceberg Graphic.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Have you ever noticed that when anger shows up, it's often covering up something deeper? For so many of us, anger feels familiar, maybe even easier to lean into than other uncomfortable emotions. But here's the thing: anger often isn't the root of the issue—it's a reaction, a secondary emotion masking what's really going on beneath the surface.

In this episode, we're unpacking how anger works and exploring the hidden emotions that fuel it. I’ll walk you through the three ways we typically express anger—whether we react, resist, or avoid—and how recognizing your own patterns is key to breaking free from that cycle.

Remember, choosing anger over other emotions is a habit, and like any habit, it takes time and self-compassion to shift. As you listen, you'll learn how to pause, reflect, and start uncovering the real feelings behind your anger. Be kind to yourself in this process—it’s all part of the journey.

“Allow yourself a moment to observe your life from a completely different perspective, and maybe this alone will be the spark that ignites a change.”- unknown

What You'll Learn: 

• Understand why anger often feels more powerful than the pain of underlying emotions.
• Learn how repeated exposure to our activators leads to anger becoming a learned habit over time.
• Discover how resentment is one of the key emotions that fuels and sustains the anger cycle.
• Practice a simple exercise to gently explore what’s really beneath your anger, allowing you to identify your true feelings with compassion.

Featured:

• Click HERE to receive my Underlying Emotions Iceberg Graphic.
• Find more information about the book: Transforming Anger: The HeartMath Solution for Letting Go of Rage, Frustration and Irritation.

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.