From Pissed Off to Poised- A Podcast for Busy Women Professionals

In this episode, I’m honored to welcome Dr. Kemia Sarraf, whose insights have deeply shaped my understanding of the impact of trauma and its ripple effects on individuals and society. Together, we dive into the intricate relationship between our anger and past trauma, exploring how these emotions can serve as powerful indicators of unresolved scenarios in our lives. 

Dr. Sarraf, a trauma-responsive physician and coach, sheds light on how anger isn't just an emotional outburst but rather it can be a signal that there’s more going on beneath the surface. She invites us to see our emotions as forms of energy—tools that can drive meaningful change if harnessed wisely, but also potential sources of harm if left unchecked.

We also revisit the stress → trauma continuum, examining how anger manifests in those who have experienced trauma, a reality that touches most adults, often without their conscious awareness. This conversation encourages us to reflect on the moments we feel angry over seemingly minor activators, revealing how they might actually tap into deeper, past experiences that evoke feelings of threat. Join us for an enlightening discussion that challenges how we view and manage our emotions in today’s episode.

“Trauma is not a flaw or a weakness. It is a highly effective tool of safety and survival. Trauma is also not an event. Trauma is the body's protective response to an event—or a series of events—that it perceives as potentially dangerous.” - Resmaa Menakem

About Dr. Kemia Sarraf

Dr. Kemia Sarraf earned her Medical Degree and Master of Public Health from the University of Utah School of Medicine and completed her residency in Internal Medicine at Barnes-Jewish Hospital. With over 20 years of experience, she has worked in patient care, public health, nonprofit leadership, and trauma-mitigation. In 2016, she founded Lodestar, focusing on trauma-responsive coaching for healthcare professionals facing burnout and vicarious trauma. Her innovative coaching methods have been adopted across various industries to foster trauma responsive cultures and she is recognized for her engaging speaking style and impactful storytelling.

What You'll Learn: 

• How to view emotions as data points, with energy and pleasantness guiding how we interpret and respond.
• Distinguishing healthy anger from anger rooted in unresolved trauma—and how to navigate both.
• Embracing the shared journey of recognizing anger as a potential trauma response, and learning to heal through awareness.
• Tuning into the physical sensations in your body as the first sign that you're being activated.

Featured:

• Learn more about Lodestar Consulting and Executive Coaching with Dr. Kemia Sarraf
• Utilize The Feelings Grid from the Mood Meter App
• Learn more about therapist and trauma specialist, Dr. Resmaa Menakem
• Learn more about trauma and addiction specialist, Dr. Gabor Maté

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Stress can feel overwhelming, unwelcome, and even surprise us when it strikes. Yet, with a solid support system, we can turn that stress into a catalyst for growth. On the flip side, when stress drags on without enough support or time to recover, it morphs into toxic stress, paving the way for trauma that can throw us off our path of personal development.

In this episode, I’m diving into the Stress → Trauma continuum. We’ll unpack the distinctions between stress, toxic stress, and trauma. I’ll share how trauma wires us for reactive behaviors and why living in a state of toxic stress can interfere with our ability to productively address life’s challenges.

To move beyond the trauma-induced survival mode, we need to focus on recognition, regulation, and reconnection. I’ll break down what each of these steps entails and how they can help you shift from instinctive reactions—like fight, flight, freeze, or submit—into more conscious, empowered choices.

As Gabor Maté wisely said, “Trauma is not what happens to you; it's what happens inside of you as a result of what happened to you.”

What You'll Learn:

• Clear definitions of stress, toxic stress, and trauma to help you understand your reactions.
• Insights into why chronic toxic stress can affect individuals differently—what’s traumatic for one might not be for another.
• The three essential steps to breaking free from trauma’s grip: recognition, regulation, and reconnection.
• A chance to reflect on your own stressors to assess if they’ve crossed the line into toxic territory and if they now resonate as traumas.

Featured:

• The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel VandeKolf

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

How do our past experiences shape our responses, especially when it comes to anger? Often, we think of trauma as something catastrophic—a “big T” trauma. But the truth is, those smaller, less obvious events, the “little t” traumas, can also profoundly impact how we navigate our emotions and reactions, particularly anger.

In this episode, we’ll explore the Stress—> Trauma continuum, breaking down how different types of trauma—Primary, Secondary, and Vicarious—can trigger anger. I’ll share my own experiences of identifying and understanding my traumas and how they’ve influenced my responses in various situations. We’ll also touch on generational trauma and how unresolved experiences can be passed down through generations, impacting us in ways we may not even be aware of.

As you listen, I encourage you to extend grace to yourself. Doing this work can be challenging, as it may bring up tough memories, thoughts, or emotions. Approach this exploration with compassion and kindness toward yourself.

“Trauma is anything that happens too much, too fast, too soon, too long, coupled with not enough of what should have happened that is resourcing.” - Resmaa Menakem

What You’ll Learn: 

• Expand your definition of trauma and learn how both big and small traumas shape your emotional responses.
• Identify different types of trauma and understand the distinctions between Primary, Secondary, and Vicarious trauma.
• Recognize the importance of self-care and see why acknowledging your trauma is essential, especially if you support others.
• Understand trauma’s impact on your reactions and discover how trauma affects your capacity to respond mindfully under stress.

Featured:

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

We’ve all been there—losing our cool in the heat of the moment, only to regret it later. But what if you had a go-to plan in place for those fiery moments? In this episode, we're diving into the power of a mini anger protocol. Think of it as your personal “pause button,” helping you avoid those knee-jerk reactions and giving you space to respond with calm, clarity, and intention.

If you’ve been following along with past episodes, you’ve already identified those activators that push you over the edge. Now it’s time to take intentional steps towards responding rather than reacting. Today, I’m breaking down a quick, easy-to-follow plan that you can start using right away. These steps will help you recognize the moment you're about to react, take a breath, and step away before the situation takes control of you. You’ll learn how to process your emotions, reclaim your calm, and show up as your most grounded self.

Plus, I’ll share some tips on how to tweak your protocol to make it work for you. Because the key to lasting change is creating a process that feels like second nature. This simple tool will empower you to rewrite your response, transforming reactive moments into opportunities for growth. 

"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." —Viktor Frankl

What You’ll Learn:

• 5 powerful steps to help you shift from anger to a thoughtful response, so you can regain control in the heat of the moment.
• The importance of processing anger and how it leads to more intentional, composed actions, giving you the space to respond, not react.
• Breathing techniques that activate your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you calm down quickly and effectively.
• The magic of labeling your emotions out loud and why this simple but crucial step is key to diffusing intense feelings and reclaiming your balance.

Featured:

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

What happens when an overwhelmed primary care physician and busy
mother of two begins to realize that something in her life needs to change?

For Dr. Sonja Grigg, that moment of awareness sparked a transformation
from a life filled with discontent and chaos to one of peace and intention. In
this episode, Dr. Grigg shares her powerful journey of self-discovery,
highlighting how coaching provided the tools she needed to recognize her
inherent power and create meaningful changes that brought balance and
fulfillment to her life.

Dr. Grigg opens up about how her initial denial and resistance to
confronting painful emotions tied to past memories led her to hit rock
bottom. She candidly discusses how working with her coach, Arpita, helped
her develop greater self-awareness and belief in her ability to live a more
fulfilling life. She also shares how embracing vulnerability strengthened her
ability to be a more compassionate physician and a more present mother,
ultimately allowing her to show up as her best self for both her patients and
her family.

Tune in to discover why self-reflection, processing emotions around past
traumas, and setting clear intentions can create the pivot you may be
seeking in your own life.

Dr. Sonja's Bio:
Dr Sonja Grigg is a mom to 2 young boys, a wife, and a primary care physician in her community. She dedicates her efforts to helping people uncover the potential in their own bodies by emphasizing principles of lifestyle medicine and strengthening the mind-body connection. Outside of family life and clinic time, she is teaching, holding support circles, and growing in her yoga practice.

What You’ll Learn:

• Understand the impact of self-denial and emotional suppression on
  personal and professional well-being
• Learn how self-awareness and coaching can empower individuals to
  make meaningful life changes
• Explore the role of vulnerability in enhancing relationships with others
  and oneself
• Discover practical strategies for setting clear intentions and
  processing past traumas to achieve greater life balance and
  fulfillment

Featured on the Show: 

• Watch Arpita's introductory webinar on how to Uplevel Your Awareness Here
• Download Arpita's worksheet on Uplevel Your Awareness Around Anger HERE

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

In the previous episode, several listeners requested that I demonstrate how to use the Uplevel Your Awareness Around Anger worksheet with an example. I thought this was a fantastic idea, so in today’s episode, I’ll do just that. I’ll show you how simple and effective these questions can be for enhancing your ability to observe your own mind and body, helping you make meaningful changes.

We’ll explore how we tend to react, avoid, or resist anger and how to develop awareness of the underlying emotions driving these responses. I’ll also share tips on managing anger from a more intentional and responsive place in challenging situations, particularly in relationships where feelings of disrespect might trigger immediate reactions.

Join me as I guide you through additional steps to build awareness around your emotional patterns, helping you manage your reactions more effectively and approach daily interactions with greater calm and intention.

What You’ll Learn:

• Utilize tools such as the anger worksheet provided in the show notes to identify and reflect on your anger activators.
•  Recognize and interrupt automatic thought patterns that lead to anger reactions.
•  Understand the role of mirror neurons and cultivate self-compassion to better manage anger.
• Identify and address reasons why we have become quick to anger, why they make sense, and the first step to change.

Featured on the Show: 

• Watch Arpita's introductory webinar on how to Uplevel Your Awareness HERE
• Download Arpita's worksheet on Uplevel Your Awareness Around Anger HERE

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

In this episode, we’re diving into anger—an emotion that’s often misunderstood but is actually a powerful tool for self-awareness. Instead of seeing anger as something to suppress or later regret, we’re exploring how to recognize it, understand what’s activating it, and use it to our advantage. We break down how to build awareness around what activates our anger, how it tends to show up for us, and—most importantly—what’s really going on underneath it.

By becoming curious about our anger, we can learn to see it as a signal rather than a problem. This episode is all about learning to pause when that anger flares up, giving ourselves some compassion, and getting real about what’s setting us off. Sometimes, anger is masking other emotions like fear, frustration, or sadness, and when we take the time to dig deeper, we can figure out what’s really driving our reactions. That awareness helps us shift from reaction to how we instead choose to respond.

Join me in today’s episode to gain practical insights on how to notice when and why your anger is activated, and how to use that awareness to make more intentional choices in your day-to-day life. We’ll explore a roadmap for turning anger into an opportunity for deeper self-awareness and positive change. By getting curious about what’s underneath our anger, we can live more intentionally, with less stress and more emotional clarity. Whether it’s learning to give yourself a
break or making bigger changes, this episode helps you get clear on how anger shows up for you and how to use it to move forward with more control and less reactivity.

What You’ll Learn:

• How to build awareness around what activates your anger and recognize how it shows up in your life.
• Why anger is often a cover for other emotions, and how to uncover what’s really driving it.
• The importance of giving yourself compassion in moments of anger, creating space for growth and self-reflection.
• How to use this awareness to make intentional, conscious choices in how you respond to activators instead of reacting on autopilot.

Featured on the Show: 

• Watch Arpita's introductory webinar on how to Uplevel Your Awareness HERE
• Download Arpita's worksheet on Uplevel Your Awareness Around Anger HERE

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Welcome to the first episode of From Pissed Off to Poised! 

If you’re a busy woman—whether you’re juggling a career, saving lives as a physician, or managing the chaos of motherhood—this episode is designed just for you. We’re diving deep into how to transform that all-consuming anger into mindful control.

Anger can feel overwhelming and, at times, it can become our automatic response to stress and frustration. In this episode, I’ll share my personal journey of how anger crept into my life, becoming an unwelcome habit that colored my interactions and decision-making. I’ll discuss how recognizing what activated my anger was the first step in understanding my emotional landscape and how self-compassion played a crucial role in my transformation.

Together on this podcast, we’ll explore practical tools and techniques to help you reduce reactivity and cultivate a sense of calm amidst the chaos. You’ll learn how to acknowledge your feelings without letting them control you, paving the way for more balanced and joyful experiences in your life.

Join me as we kick off this empowering journey toward emotional resilience. And if you know anyone who could benefit from these insights, please share the podcast! Let’s support each other in embracing a more poised and peaceful way of intentional living.

What You’ll Learn:

• How anger can become a habitual and automatic response
• Why mindful awareness is the first crucial step towards reclaiming a more joyful life
• Why self-compassion is essential in addressing and breaking the cycle of anger, regret, and repetition
• Building awareness around what triggers anger and practicing steps to regain control

Featured on the Show: 

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

Hey there, friends! This is Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.

I’m a retired pediatrician, the co-founder of Virginia iSpine Physicians, and
a trauma informed certified mindset coach. Thanks for listening to my new
podcast, From Pissed Off to Poised.

This podcast is designed to help overcommitted women, physicians, and
professionals move from being reactionary—often feeling anger and
resentment—to becoming more intentional and responsive. The goal is to
help you enjoy life while still getting everything that needs to be done,
done.

In this episode, we’ll dive deep into how to shift from reacting to responding
when it comes to anger. I’ll also share practical tips on how to say "yes"
only to what truly matters to you and create a calendaring system that
works—one that honors your commitments to both yourself and others.

Join me weekly for the latest episodes. I’m excited to embark on this
journey with you!

What You’ll Learn:

• Methods to build awareness around why you may feel overwhelmed and quick to anger
• Tips on how to become more intentional and less reactionary in your daily life
• Strategies to align your daily actions with your core purpose and values
• Ways to create a balanced calendaring system that honors both personal and professional commitments

• Learn about Arpita's next Circle of Six Small Group Coaching Cohort HERE.
• Learn more about Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma's programs with Thought Work, MD, including 1-to-1 coaching for individuals, group coaching cohorts for organizations, and her online self-study courses HERE.
• Transforming Your Anger From Reaction to Response Online Self Study Course with Dr. Arpita Gupta DePalma.