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I normally type out some long nonsensical story in the description but I've been holding in a screaming shit for almost an hour and a half so I need to keep this short and sweet.
Back in my younger years I met a woman a few years older than me at the bar and she kept feeding me drinks and letting me feel her tits when she thought nobody was looking. I felt like she was flirting but I was also shitface drunk and a little naive.
Fast forward about 2 hours and I'm poured into the back of her Toyota minivan and she's poorly singing along to Stevie Nicks. Something about a dove or some dumb shit. Anyway, we get back to her place and walk directly to her bedroom. No pass go, no collect $200. The only light in the room was some retarded night light beside the dresser and her dumb ass kid's photos littering the top.
She ripped off my clothes, threw me down on the bed and started sucking me like a newborn pig on a fat sow's tit. Just as I was about to bust, she stopped, stood up and got undressed. She climbed under the blankets and shoved my head between her legs and started humping my face like some kind of goddamn epilepsy patient. I'm drunk, slurring my words, and making motorboat sounds as I'm trying to catch her pussy with my mouth.
She finally settles the fuck down so I can get to work and I started thinking maybe this was a bad idea. I'm WAY too drunk to fuck and all the alcohol has made my mouth dry. After a few minutes I realized it wasn't cottonmouth but some kind of shit in my mouth. Did I puke and not realize it? Was my tongue dissolving? I finally had to stop, got up and went to the bathroom, and discovered this bitch had a wicked yeast infection and my mouth was covered in what looked like cottage cheese!
I puked all over the sink, the floor, and her shower all while screaming "you dirty fucking bitch!"
She was embarrassed but I was disgusted. I grabbed my shit, walked into the living room and started swishing vodka to try and kill whatever the fuck was likely fermenting in my mouth. She came out and apologized but I didn't want to look at her. Threw on my clothes and walked backed to my car.
Let this be a lesson to you kids. Never eat pussy in the dark!
