Arik punks pirates, Allen flogs flags, and we fail horribly at evolving infrared vision.

Arik sells snake oil, Allen extols the virtues of rags, and things get very serious in rural North Dakota.

Allen ruins koalas, Arik ruins guys, Canada ruins its airport codes, and WikiHow was already ruined when we got there.

Allen offends some marsupials, Arik disproves Jesus, and we discuss a scheme for getting rich.

Arik shows up the Titanic, Allen mutes everything, and we share some key bird facts.

Arik defends himself from Facebook, Allen defends himself from cougars, and Arik doesn’t know what a hot hatch is.

Allen goes deep on Nutrition Facts, we recap multiple culinary schemes, and Arik drops a history bomb.

Arik continues his tour of the Pacific Northwest, Allen tries not to get drafted, and we crack open more critical adulting tips.

We do some mass follow-up, Allen has a reckoning about movies, Arik ‘splains Sesame Street, and Allen encounters Hamilton.

Google News tortures Allen, Paris battles garbage barricades, and the Romans ruin our calendars.