Steve Rogers, a walking skeleton who's rejected several times from the military, transforms into Captain America after taking a dose of a "Super-Soldier serum". But being Captain America comes at a price as he attempts to take down a warmonger, a terrorist organization, and several clones of Slipknot's dj, all while having, like...the greatest body ever.

Two potheads wake up after a night of partying and pudding and panties and cannot remember that they parked their car right across the fucking street.

When same one of the four idiots is kidnapped by an angry gangster, the Wolf Pack must track down Mr. Chow, easily one of THE most annoying characters in cinematic history, who has escaped from prison in a shockingly gnarly action sequence and is on the run.

Two years after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, the same four fuckin' idiots jet to Thailand for Stu's wedding. Stu's plan for a subdued pre-wedding brunch, however, goes seriously awry because Alan does he same stupid shit, and the same stupid shenanigans ensue, and a cellist ruins his life, and even though it's a rehash of the first movie it's still super funny.

Three buddies wake up from a bachelor party in Las Vegas, with no memory of the previous night because one of them was stupid enough to drug them, including himself. with the bachelor missing because his character is a no-nonsense type that wouldn't mesh with his inept groomsmen, the others make their way around the city in order to find their friend before his wedding, which they conveniently do.

A grifter who smokes way too much works his way up from low-ranking carnival worker with a nice ass to lauded psychic medium with a nice ass matches wits with a psychiatrist who ALSO has a nice ass who's bent on exposing him.

John McClane has zero business being in Russia but but barrels in headfirst anyway to "help" out his seemingly wayward son, Jack, only to discover that Jack is a CIA operative working undercover, causing the father and son to team up against underworld forces, even though John was never involved in the planning process and almost ruined years worth progress by being fucking stupid.

John McClane and a young hacker played by an actor who for some reason actually got famous join forces to take down master cyber-terrorist and incredibly sexy Thomas Gabriel in Washington D.C. before they realize this franchise has lost all credibility.

John McClane and a Harlem store owner/motherfucker of sorts are targeted by German terrorist Simon in New York City, where he plans to rob the Federal Reserve Building because his former brother got a big ass lump of coal for christmas a few years prior.

John McClane has no real effect on the movie as he tries to avert disaster as rogue military operatives seize control of Dulles International Airport in Washington, D.C. while characters from the first movie are shoehorned in for no actual purpose.