A brother and sister with super awkward sexual chemistry are driving home through isolated countryside for spring break and encounter a flesh-eating creature, that may or may not guzzle cock and balls, which is in the midst of its ritualistic eating spree.

Five interwoven stories that occur on Halloween: an everyday high school principal has a secret life as a serial killer; a college virgin might have just met the guy for her; a group of teenagers pull a mean prank; a woman who loathes the night has to contend with her holiday-obsessed husband; and a mean old man meets his match with a demonic, supernatural trick-or-treater. and this is too wordy even for me, so there you have it.

A family's home is haunted by a host of demonic ghosts but also a cervix and the wee little lady says go into the light, then don't go into the light, then do go, then the light's bad, then it's good, and NOBODY STACKS CHAIRS LIKE THIS!!!

An afterlife therapist, who doesn't buy his own bullshit, and his daughter, who gets rudely voluntold to host a party, meet a friendly young quasi-perverted ghost when they move into a crumbling mansion in order to rid the premises of wicked spirits of undiscernable age.

When the survivors run out of food, Locke, Kate, and Michael go out hunting for boar. Michael gets injured, so he and Kate go back. But Locke stays out hunting, and ends up running into the creature living in the jungle.

Locke is a pervert. Jack goes crazy. Michael & Walt suck. Sun hides her titties.

A former professional wrestler turned wannabe actor is hired to be the bodyguard/nanny for a couple of bratty (insanely shitty) kids whose inventor father is being stalked by a guy with a biodome on his noggin. seriously brother, Hogan should be dead, brother. goddamn these kids are vicious, brother.

Jack and Hurley discover an alarming secret about Kate, while the marshal's life hangs in the balance.

Kate is too good at lying. Chubbs has a hand twin. Sawyer's best comeback is "nice stick."

After a bitter divorce, an actor disguises himself as a female housekeeper to spend time with his children held in custody by his former wife.*

*movie synopsis left unbutchered out of respect to Robin Williams

The survivors of a plane crash are forced to work together in order to survive on a seemingly deserted tropical island.

Sawyer shoots a bear. Maggie proves useful for once in her life. Jack takes care of the yellow eye demon.

Five thieving, conniving little bastards are inexplicably left alone all summer when their emotionally absent mom becomes physically absent and leaves town. when the evil babysitter bites the dust, the eldest daughter finally learns what it means to be a mom of four thieving, conniving little bastards.