Gender: A Wider Lens

We’re back! Sasha and Stella update listeners with how they’ve spent their six-week break and jump right into discussing the plight of parents whose kids are experiencing gender distress. The first-ever in-person Wider Lens retreat for parents was held in Maryland in March 2022. This was a profound experience for the attendees and also for Sasha and Stella, who reflect today upon the common themes picked up at the retreat. These include medical negligence, parental guilt, and the transformative and comforting power of connection that emerged between parents who truly understand each other. Forthcoming plans for Season Two are also highlighted in this episode.

Extended Notes

• Proof the mental health lesson of “take a break” can have a positive effect.
• Stella describes how she spent her time away from the podcast.
• Struggling with writing, Sasha found inspiration in Patricia Goodson’s book, Becoming an Academic Writer.
• Sasha is creating an environment that is conducive to calm, mindful writing.
• The interest and impact of the Wider Lens in-person retreat.
• Sasha calls out the medical professionals who neglect their jobs.
• It was a warm reception at the retreat as parents mentioned the podcast. Stella felt like she was meeting old friends.
• At the retreat, parents from all different backgrounds were united by sharing their stories, some for the first time.
• A common thread between the families was that therapists had recommended social or medical transitions without performing proper assessments.
• Meeting in person brought a sense of community to parents as similar patterns emerged.
• Parents often blame themselves but they need to cut themselves some slack. There is no formula.
• Empathy and understanding are the foundational building blocks of healing.
• The needs of parents who have boys are profoundly different from girls’ gender dysphoria.
• Both Stella and Sasha noticed that a lot of sibling tension emerged during the retreat.
• There is not a lot of family-oriented therapy around gender.
• Parents who worry about their parenting are probably in the top 5% of caregivers.
• There is a requirement for parents and that is to let go and trust the process.
• It is easy for parents to lose themselves when their child feels lost.
• Identity can trap us in very dangerous ways.
• During her time off, Sasha has been re-exploring Tao.
• Sasha recommends The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents,
• by William Martin to Stella.
• There will be another retreat in Arizona at the end of October 2022.
• Sasha shares the new ideas for forthcoming podcasts.
• Stella is further exploring the state of the nation in the United States.
• 2022 could be a pivotal year for gender.

This podcast is sponsored by ReIME and Genspect. Visit Rethinkime.org and Genspect.org to learn more.

For more about our show: Linktr.ee/WiderLensPod

Here are some accompanying resources: 

Befriending Your Body (Book) 

We have completed eleven interviews and today we analyze the second half of our Pioneers Series. Stella and I discuss the psychological and emotional impact of some recent interviews. We review the shocking discussions we’ve had with several of our guests and reflect on the flawed Dutch Protocol, which is often held up as the gold standard in childhood dysphoria medical treatment. Dr. Anne Lawrence’s reflections on Autogynephilia and the extreme measures she feels some might take are discussed in the context of the Dutch researcher’s interview. We also think back about the role Az Hakeem’s groups will play when we examine this period in hindsight, years down the line. Perhaps Susan Bradley is right about ASD being a large explanatory factor in understanding gender dysphoria more broadly. We also look at the Samoan Prime Minister’s response to the Olympic Weightlifting competition: arguably the leaders of integrating male femininity into their society, the Samonas had sharp words for the Pacific Games Council’s admission of trans MtF lifter, Laurel Hubbard, in competing against two Samoan women.

We’re wrapping up this season and we’ll be returning to our regular weekly programs with our next episode on May 20th. If you are a Patron, thank you! And don’t fret: we’ll continue recording our weekly Q&As and posting them on Patreon. Thanks for listening!

Extended Notes

• Stella and Sasha, being therapists, naturally ask questions to gain understanding of one’s thinking. They talk about the psychological and emotional toll this series had on them.
• They first analyze their conversation with Thomas Steensma and Annelou de Vries. Sasha shares what stood out to her.
• Stella also touches on her thoughts and why she sees avoidance tactics as anti-psychological.
• They explain what the gender dysphoria scale is all about.
• The entire premise of the puberty blockers experiment is based on the so-called success of the gender dysphoria scale. They both share their disagreements with these methods.
• Sasha talks about the unethical assumptions made with their studies.
• They move on to analyze their conversation with Anne Lawrence and how both their mouths dropped when she talked about castration.
• Stella asks why obsession is not being brought into this rather than just focusing on it as a gender identity topic.
• Sasha shares her thoughts about the dismissive counseling she has noticed in general.
• They both talk about their understanding of the depth of Anne’s suffering through her experience.
• Sasha evaluates Anne’s actions and responses as an obsession to a rejection of a body part, which is common in most Aspy people.
• Stella thinks there is still so much to be done on autistic diagnosis brainwork and she is looking forward to the next 15‒20 years.
• Everyone has a very high regard for the Dutch model, implying that they are being very careful but they both disagree.
• Sasha recalls how Steensma and de Vries may have perceived them as activists in their line of questioning.
• Stella and Sasha share more feedback about the Dutch study if they truly wanted it to be neutral and inclusive.
• What if the whole premise of the gender dysphoria scale is flawed? Sasha asks in retrospect.
• We shouldn’t really change something unless we have a really clear understanding of what the current state of affairs is. Stella reflects on this against puberty blockers.
• They share how off-putting it was for them to talk about the human body in a flippant manner.
• What if Jazz Jennings was put on this gender dysphoria scale? Stella and Sasha talk about their disappointment further.
• Stella mentions Az Hakim and how she admires his approach vs. the rigid coldness of the so-called experts.
• Psychotherapy vs. Bodily Autonomy. Sasha compares the difference between their...
  
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