As a former cruise ship comedian, just writing this description brings back some challenging memories for me, so I’ll keep it brief. If I had to sum up our girl Corinne’s experience on a cruise ship, it would be: 

“I could’ve told you that.”

Let’s get straight to the point—cruises stink.

“Hey kids, would you like to spend five days on a boat full of people you wouldn’t even talk to on solid ground if your hair was on fire? Do you want to be surrounded by those same people engaging in some pre-planned, manufactured fun?”

If the answer is yes, then grab some shorts that will guarantee no one will fantasize about taking off of you, some sunscreen that smells like your Grandpa’s swamp region, and meet me on the Lido deck! 

This is part one of a two-part recounting of Corinne’s adventures at sea. 

Enjoy!

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