Everything You Know About Leadership Is Wrong or Outdated with Psychologist, Dr. Jeffrey Hull

The world is changing because leaders are changing and leadership is changing too. Leaders are more diverse today than ever before. Leadership is more centered around empathy and collaborative listening. This is creating an undeniable shift in the way things work. 

Psychologist, Dr. Jeffrey Hull, joins Coach Elix to discuss the new leadership landscape, the science explaining the most effective leadership approaches, and his new book Flex: The Art and Science of Leadership in a Changing World.

Dr. Hull is a psychology instructor at Harvard Medical School and an Executive Coach. He has worked with plenty of high profile clients such as HSBC, Tiffany & Co, Unilever, Dropbox, and Reuters. 

Tune in to this episode to understand how you can be an even better leader, even if you’ve never thought of yourself as one.

Timestamps: 

04:14 A few definitions of leadership

11:24 The biggest misconception about leadership

13:39 Who is Dr. Jeffery Hull 

14:46 Why is everything we know about leadership wrong?

15:32 What is the quiet revolution? 

17:46 How did COVID-19 transform leadership? 

20:29 This is what effective leaders when our lives moved online

22:26 Does the conversation about leadership apply to you? 

24:30 Why are frontline workers great leaders?

27:30 Should you be an authoritarian leader? 

31:26 What kind of leader does science say you should be? 

33:47 6 focus areas of the F.I.E.R.C.E methodology

35:45 Do you have to change your personality to have a growth mindset?

38:15 How has Dr. Hull’s leadership style changed over the years?

40:13 What is stopping you from becoming the leader you can be? 

42:14 Are leaders born or made? (a surprising answer)

43:25 Connecting with Dr. Jeffrey Hull 

45:43 Reflections & Day 14 of the gratitude challenge 

Key Takeaways: 

A leader is somebody who creates the opening for others to be their best self.

We all have the ability to be leaders everyday in the many different things we do. 

When it comes to leadership, emotional intelligence is more important than being smart.

Learning to be more flexible and know when to be authoritative and when to be a curious collaborative listener is one of the keys to being successful in today’s world. 

Creating an environment where people have a sense of autonomy and a sense of connection are crucial to the success of any team. 

To be better leaders and better people we have to learn our strengths and learn how we can grow. Listening to others collaboratively and being empathetic are great ways to accomplish that.

Everything we know about leadership is outdated. Today, leaders are more diverse than they used to be in all senses of the word. For example, in the past an introvert would not have been thought of as a leader - this is not true in today’s world. 

The key to developing your agility is to view your stumbles and mistakes as learning opportunities. There is no such thing as failure. 

Leaders are both born and made. Everyone is born a leader, but not everyone puts in the work to fulfil their potential as a leader.  

Here is why the conversation about leadership applies to you:

“Anyone that doesn’t think of themselves as a leader but can step up and be involved with their community, with non profits, anywhere where you are out doing good work in the world, you are probably more of a leader than you even realize” - Dr. Jeffrey Hull

Do you think of yourself as a leader? What do you think people misunderstand about leadership? 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Unlock the possibilities of the future by valuing your present self through gratitude, find out how in this episode. Coach Elix explains the science behind why and how gratitude creates a virtuous cycle in your life that can elevate you to new levels. 

Tune in to find out several science-backed tips you can start using today to start a gratitude practice and unleash your potential.

Timestamps: 

4:05 Gratitude seems too easy, does it even work? 

05:17 When should you practice gratitude?

06:04 What is gratitude and what does it do? 

07:13 What does gratitude bring to your life?

10:59 Should you hope or wish for things?

15:00 Does practicing gratitude mean I have to feel good all the time?

16:52 How does gratitude change your brain? 

19:37 The 4 components of emotional intelligence. 

21:13 How you can use the upward spiral theory to change your life.

24:09 Gratitude can be embedded in every part of your life

25:05 What is the most important characteristic of effective leaders?

25:53 How does gratitude make you more resilient? 

27:10 Invent the life you desire by focusing on abundance

29:43 Coach Elix’s actual gratitude practice. 

35:39 If you try any of these powerful practices, gratefulness becomes present.

41:09 A gratitude practice specifically for managers and leaders. 

42:48 Finding gratitude through taking daily photos. 

43:21 A challenge for YOU.

45:57 Saying you are grateful is not enough, you must do this as well.

46:50 Next week’s episode preview and more announcements

Key Takeaways: 

There is a lot of scientific research backing up the effectiveness of gratitude. 

When you switch from feeling victimized to feeling grateful, you activate the prefrontal cortex of the brain and transform your thoughts into positive ones. 

If you are grateful, you get rid of negative thoughts in your mind. Gratitude immediately transforms thoughts from negative to positive. 

Practicing gratitude cultivates greater emotional intelligence. 

The four components of emotional intelligence are: self-awareness, self-regulation, self-motivation, and understanding others. 

Upward spiral theory teaches us that when we start thinking about positive emotions, it leads to positive behaviors, which then lead to positive emotions and so on. This is how you can change your life. 

Emotional intelligence is the most vital characteristic of an effective leader. 

Gratitude helps you boost motivation, energize your stamina, improves patience, and keeps you focused on abundance rather than what you may lack.  

There is no right way to practice gratitude, just do what works for you.

A few practices that invite gratitude into your life include: keeping a gratitude journal, writing a gratitude letter to someone (it can be someone who is around or someone who isn’t), finding gratitude in your surroundings, and doing a guided meditation. 

Managers and leaders should invite gratitude into meetings by starting the meeting with the question: "What’s going well for us?" Or "What are we doing right?" And discuss how they can elevate it into the next level of greatness.

Being grateful is not just about telling yourself things. You must add practices that reinforce your gratitude and create openings for yourself. 

Coach Elix’s gratitude practice that you can copy, or make up your own: 

“I am happy and grateful that I am living the life of my dreams. I am living the life that I want. I am living my best life and I am a magnet for abundance, prosperity, health, happiness, wealth, and success in all areas of my life. Thank you.”

You can repeat it as many times as you like and go into examples of things you have and grateful for. Look around your surroundings for inspiration. 

What do you do to invite gratitude into your life? Which practice will you be using throughout our 30-day gratitude challenge?

Read more about Dr. Barbara Fredrickson’s upward spiral theory here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1745691617692106

If you are interested in learning more about Daniel Goleman and emotional intelligence, you can visit his website here: https://www.danielgoleman.info/ 

Learn more about Dr. Jeffery Hull’s book Flex: https://www.jeffreyhull.com/flex 

Learn more about moving from fear-based conversations to trust-based conversations, grab a copy of Changing Conversations for a Changing World here: https://www.amazon.ca/Changing-Conversations-World-European-Collective/dp/1735358525 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Have Richer Conversations Using Neuroscience with Dr. Richard Glaser

You’ve definitely heard of Emotional Intelligence, but have you heard of Conversational Intelligence®?

Join Coach Elix and Dr. Richard Glaser on this episode to get the introduction you need.

Dr. Richard’s late wife Judith Glaser coined the term Conversational Intelligence® and was a pioneer in the field. Dr. Richard Glaser is the founder of CreatingWe, a 41 year old consulting and coaching company that works with CEOs to reshape corporate conversations.

Mastering Conversational Intelligence® is key to transforming your conversations from fear-based to trust based. Tune in to understand the neuroscience behind how you feel in conversations and how you can use this new understanding to have better conversations.

“The brain does not speak French or English, it speaks neuroscience” - Judith Glaser

Timestamps:

07:52 What is Conversational Intelligence®?

13:18 Who is Dr. Richard Glaser?

15:39 If you've never heard of Conversational Intelligence®, this is what you need to know

20:25 A simple technique you can use to make your next difficult conversation easier

24:10 Three levels of conversation (which one do you engage in most?)

30:42 How Burberry put itself on the map using richer conversations

35:33 Moving beyond polarized political conversations

38:28 How do we listen to people without judging them?

44:05 What can corporations do to change biases?

47:00 What is moving from "I" to "We" thinking and why you must do it

51:00 How to connect with Dr. Richard Glaser

Key Takeaways:

Conversational Intelligence® is learning how to shift from fear-based conversations to trust based conversations.

Conversational Intelligence® is very powerful because it has a strong scientific foundation. It is based on anthropology and neuroscience.

When questioning your biases, sit back and ask yourself, “how did I get to that belief system?”

There are three levels of conversations: Level 1 is sharing information; Level 2 is advocating for what you believe (make sure not to prophesize your beliefs); and Level 3 is asking questions that open up a dialogue (builds trust, makes you feel you are listened to and creates safe space for innovation and creativity)

Double-clicking is a useful technique to help you overcome difficulty in conversations. It is asking questions such as, “can you tell me more about that?” Essentially, it revolves around asking questions you don't have answers to so you can understand where somebody else is coming from.

Diffusing tensions in conversations through asking questions helps you understand the person you are talking to. By moving closer into their space, you are able to make the conversation more positive.

When you understand how chemicals affect your brain in conversations, you can fight imbalances and shift from having fear-based conversations to trust-based conversations.

This is what happens in your brain when you feel attacked in a conversation:

“Amygdala Hijack is what people go through when they are attacked. You can be attacked in many ways, not just physically. You can be attacked by being ignored, you can be attacked by being insulted, and so on. You get the same reaction, you get that cortisol level that rises up, and it makes you react in a way that you might not want to react in.” - Dr. Richard Glaser, Ph.D.

Had you heard of Conversational Intelligence® before? What techniques do you use to have calmer and more productive conversations? How will you use your new knowledge about Conversational Intelligence® to regulate your future conversations?

CONNECT with Dr. Richard Glaser:

LinkedIn:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/richard-d-glaser-09a2102a/

The CreatingWE® Institute website:

https://creatingwe.com/

Email:

[email protected] or

[email protected]

Buy the book Changing Conversations for a Changing World here: https://www.amazon.ca/Changing-Conversations-World-European-Collective/dp/1735358525

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

You've probably often heard that you need to know your purpose, but rarely does anyone show you how to find it! This changes in today’s episode. Tune in to to unlock a practical way to seek and connect with your purpose so you can authentically commit to the life you truly want to live. 

Timestamps: 

08:36 What is G.R.I.P?

10:25 The first step towards achieving your goals. 

10:53 What if you don’t know what your purpose is? 

14:30 Find your purpose through this exercise.

17:49 Being resilient in the face of stress through purpose.

19:06 How most people react when they are asked, “what is one thing you really want to do” and why.

20:55 How you can engage a different part of your brain. 

21:26 Where do you stand in the conversational dashboard and what is a fear-based conversation?

25:53 If you want to learn more about the neuroscience of fear and trust, tune in next week. 

27:04 Do this practical visualizing exercise with Coach Elix now.

31:00 After the exercise, Steven articulated this purpose for the FIRST time.

34:04 How you can change the neurochemistry of your mind. 

34:54 What Mark visualized during the exercise.

36:36 How often you need to do the visualizing exercise.

39:21 Coach Elix’s self doubt story.

41:12 Should you fake it until you make it? 

42:08 Comparing yourself with others is toxic. 

42:41 A caller: What if people don’t like what I do? 

48:26 Listen to this if you say, “I can’t because I don't have money.”

Key Takeaways: 

G.R.I.P. stands for Greatness Requires Intention and Purpose, it is a 4-step methodology giving you access to move towards your goals. 

Only once you connect with your purpose will you be able to commit to your goals. Not having a purpose is like driving a car without a destination and just burning gas along the way.

When you start connecting with your purpose, you start to desire more out of life. 

Questions you can ask yourself to start discovering your purpose: "When do I feel most vibrantly alive?" and "What do I feel drawn to?"

When most people are asked “what is one thing you really want to do” they begin to resist even committing to something because fear is so strong in the background.

Learning to visualize your purpose is a practical way to move yourself away from fear and engage in trust instead.

When you talk about your future and think about what is possible, you change the neurochemistry in your mind and body. 

Training your brain to visualize your future requires practice, it is not a one time practice, it is an exercise you need to engage with regularly to get more intimate with your purpose

If you fake it until you make it for long enough, your brain will begin to think it is real. You can approach fulfilling your purpose in that way. 

Some people may not like what you do, that’s ok. Concern yourself with the people who do like what you do. 

Fear is designed to keep you safe and when you are safe nothing happens. But, that’s the issue: nothing happens. 

The words you say to yourself have the power to change your fate.

This is the power of the words you tell yourself: 

“There is an abundance of everything, an abundance of opportunity,  you just have to learn to speak it. If you don’t believe me, tomorrow morning wake up and say “Today I’m going to have a shitty day” and let me know how that day works out for you.” - Coach Elix

What did you visualize when you did the exercise with Coach Elix? What did you learn from doing the exercise? 

If you are interested in learning more about moving from fear-based conversations to trust-based conversations, grab a copy of Changing Conversations for a Changing World here: https://www.amazon.ca/Changing-Conversations-World-European-Collective/dp/1735358525 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

How to Succeed Even If All Odds Are Against You with NBA Champion, Brian Scalabrine

Summary: 

NBA legend Brian Scalabrine joins us this episode to share his personal story and inspire us. The White Mamba didn’t have it easy growing up, but that did not stand in his way. He became iconic against all the odds. You can beat the odds too. 

Tune in to this episode to find out how to flip the narrative about your life with anecdotes from White Mamba’s childhood and his journey to triumph. 

Bonus: Brian Scalabrine also fills us in on his new venture Scal’s Vodka Lemonade!

Timestamps: 

03:17 A few words about 9/11

07:50 Our guest today: The White Mamba!

08:19 Why Coach Elix uses sports metaphors

11:09 Athletes use the power of visualizing to win, you can too!

14:50 How the pandemic is affecting the White Mamba

18:13 Mastering flipping the narrative (and one time White Mamba did it)

23:50 Do you care about what people think? Adopt this framework to reduce the noise.

28:36 What Brian would say to kids who don’t have a lot, but want to play for the NBA.

35:28 White Mamba’s tough childhood: how the people around you influence you greatly despite money

38:07 How hard are you actually working?

40:49 Why investing in people is White Mamba’s strategy

43:30 Why White Mamba thinks he can’t give you good advice

45:57 What does having a grip on life mean?

47:35 How Brian just gave us the best advice, even though he said he couldn’t. 

51:50 Connecting with White Mamba 

Key Takeaways: 

Athletes are great role models in getting comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Flipping the narrative, reframing a negative narrative into a positive one, is a great strategy to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. 

Don’t worry about what people think, it is more important that the people you work with respect you.

What people think matters, but only those who have a stake in your success. You can’t please everybody, but you can please those who care about you. 

Passion without direction doesn’t lead you anywhere. 

Look at what is around you and find an environment that is convenient and conducive to what you want in life. 

Finding a great environment is key to an athlete’s success. It’s the first step you must take. 

The people around you can help propel you forward, even if you don’t grow up around money. 

Finding the right environment is not about finding a wealthy or luxurious environment. It is about finding a healthy place to thrive. 

You get to choose your environment, no matter how hard the circumstances are. 

Having a grip on life means you are connected with something you love and in the midst of whatever the breakdown is, you find a way to move forward. 

Your life feels happier and lighter when you are doing something you are passionate about, no matter what else may be in the background. 

If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. 

Living a life of passion is the best life you can give yourself:

“It is good in life that you get an opportunity to do something you love. So, if that entails you working your tail off on something you maybe don't like so that you can do something that you do like,  then that's fine. I do believe that your life has a different lens to it when you are living a life of passion. The grass looks greener, the trees look better, the weather is warmer, the skies look bluer.” -  Brian Scalabrine

How do you create a good environment for yourself? How do you try to flip negative narratives into positive ones?

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Create New Opportunities By Shifting Your Mindset with James Mamary

Guided by curiosity and a courageous mindset, James Mamary left his family healthcare business to fulfill his dreams of owning a distillery. He's since partnered with NBA champion Brian "White Mamba" Scalabrine on a popular ready to drink canned cocktail line. In this episode, he takes us through how the unexpected circumstances of 2020 helped him connect with his purpose leading him to take advantage of new opportunities. 

James Mamary, a former healthcare executive, now runs Crooked Oak Distillery with his wife Melissa and in partnership with the Boston Celtics' Brian Scalabrine. 

Timestamps: 

04:31 Today’s discussion is about transforming your mindset.

08:17 What you need to interrupt a downward spiral.

10:47 Beating the common objection: “it doesn’t seem realistic that my dreams can come true.”

14:18 A 6-month challenge for you. 

16:46 James’ story: taking the leap from healthcare to opening a distillery.

17:54 Why James quit the family business. 

21:14 This is what it takes to take a leap of faith. 

24:01 Focusing on what you can control: how James transformed adversity to opportunity during COVID-19.

30:08 How important is mindset?

31:49 Concrete things James has done to shift his mindset from negativity into positivity. 

35:16 The 3 elements key to shifting your mindset. 

35:46 Finding new strategies in the face of COVID-19.

37:27 This is an integral part of leadership.

38:25 Advice to anyone who is struggling. 

39:44 Connecting with James.

41:47 Why some people don’t achieve their dreams.

42:55 Do I have to start a business, like James,  to be successful and happy? 

44:30 Mark’s anecdote: doing something he thought he couldn’t.

46:03 Follow your curiosity to find your purpose.

47:11 The 6 rules of learned bravery (do these to become a better version of yourself).

Key Takeaways: 

The most important things in saving yourself from a downward spiral is to be kind to yourself.

People get caught up on “anything is possible” in the negative sense rather than in the positive sense. Because of the pandemic, people have come to expect more negativity. 

If you want to win your own game, you have to get on the court. You cannot stay on the sidelines wishing for something. 

Your mindset can be infectious, it does not only affect you it can also impact those around you.

Changing your mindset can be as simple as telling yourself: failure is not an option. 

Pursuing what you want requires bravery, bravery is taking action in the face of fear.

Things you can do to shift your mindset: connecting with purpose, shifting negative conversations into positive conversations, and having the courage to move forward. 

Part of leadership is getting comfortable surrounding yourself with the right team and not doing everything yourself. 

You define what winning means in your book. It doesn’t have to be starting a business. It can be starting school or shifting to another career. You decide what your life looks like. 

Curiosity is a key element in discovering what your passion is. 

To move forward you need bravery. Here are the 6 rules of learned bravery: connect with purpose (what is you "why"), take off your mask (be authentic), be optimistic (be grateful), stop comparing yourself to others, get comfortable with the uncomfortable, get better at willpower.

Ask yourself: What is the unimaginable good that you can create for yourself and for your life? 

Advice to anyone who is struggling right now:

“There’s opportunity everywhere, look around and it's there you just have to take a deep breath and center and look around and it's not traditional opportunity...you know capitalism is always about creative destruction. So,  just because things are falling down around you doesn’t mean there’s not an opportunity to advance. You  just have to be comfortable pivoting towards that new opportunity. It's not ever going to be easy, even in good times.” - James Mamary

What untraditional opportunities do you think might be around you? What might help you connect with your purpose?

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

You are more powerful than you tell yourself. In fact, a lot of your power lies in what you tell yourself. Join Coach Elix, Steven, Mark, and two guest callers to find out how to knock over the roadblocks separating you from a better life, reframe conversations, and reflect on whether you might be playing a winless game. 

Tune in to get introduced to what fear-based conversations are and how to be guided by a commitment to extraordinary living instead.

Timestamps: 

01:39 Who is Coach Elix?

02:40 What does G.R.I.P. stand for? 

06:02 A poll Coach Elix ran on Instagram (find out the shocking result). 

06:56 Does being a coach mean my life is better than yours? 

08:35 A lightbulb moment for me.

10:33 What if a coach says something that doesn’t ring true to you?

15:07 Karen calls in: What is the power you have to change your circumstances? 

22:14 Two things to do as soon as you feel upset. 

24:39 Am I a giver or am I just a taker? (A narrative that takes away your power.) 

28:40 Dr. Johnson calls in: Why coaching works.

33:36 Why you should be unrealistic.

35:45 What does it take to make your dreams come true?

38:00 The story you tell yourself is made up, so you might as well do this. 

39:47 What is your "oh my god" moment?

41:00 How what you tell yourself changes your reality.

42:07 If you are having these conversations, you are playing a winless game. 

47:12 What is a winless game and how to stop playing them.  

50:00 How I got my power back. 

Key Takeaways: 

G.R.I.P stands for Greatness Requires Intention and Purpose. So, if you are telling yourself to "get a grip," reframe it in that way. 

The circumstances are what the circumstances are, but who you are in those is what you have control of.  

When you feel a sense of anxiety, it has less to do with the facts of our lives and more to do with the narrative you tell yourself. 

In the face of despair ask yourself: what is factual about my circumstances and what is part of the narrative I tell myself. 

When you give way to negative voices in your head, you are playing a winless game. Negative voices are designed to lead you to nothing but more of the same. 

Coaching only works if you take it seriously and put in the work. 

“Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity. Why would you be realistic? What's the point of being realistic?” - Will Smith

Breakdowns are necessary. They give us the opportunity to learn. What you have to do is keep moving in the face of the breakdown. 

Words create reality. What you speak is what you get. 

If you take a shot, you may win and you may lose but you cannot win if you don’t go on the field and take a shot. 

You must play out your life with a commitment to winning rather than an attachment to winning. 

Extraordinary living begins with knowing what you can control: 

“So that's not to say that we should dismiss, you know, our current reality. What I'm saying is that the circumstances are going to be whatever the circumstances are. That's just how it is today. It happens to be sunny and beautiful. Tomorrow could be stormy. You could create a different story about it but that's not going to change the circumstances. It is what it is. However who you are going to be in the face of that is what you have control of.  It is where you have the power to reframe, the power to change, that conversation” - Coach Elix

How do you speak to yourself? What do you tell yourself as soon as you wake up? 

Learn more about moving from fear-based conversations to trust-based conversations, grab a copy of Changing Conversations for a Changing World here: https://www.amazon.ca/Changing-Conversations-World-European-Collective/dp/1735358525 

If you found value in this episode, please leave a 5-star review so we can continue inspiring you!

Get a G.R.I.P. with Coach Elix airs live on WARA 1320AM out of Attleboro, MA every Friday at 1 p.m. Eastern. To listen live or be a caller, stream the show from anywhere in the world by visiting www.wararadio.com.

Why tune in, you ask?⁣
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⁣Because I want to teach you everything I know about how to step into your full potential and achieve your wildest dreams. ⁣
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⁣Because I don’t believe that you should settle for a life less amazing than you deserve.⁣
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⁣Because I don’t want you to be in the 90% of the population who succumb to the brain’s ability to trick us into avoiding risk and playing it safe.⁣
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⁣Change is sparked by just ONE decision. I hope you make the decision to tune in today!