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“I should have caught it sooner.”

For parents and spouses of an addicted loved one, that thought can create years of guilt, shame, hypervigilance, and sleepless nights.

In this episode, Jason Coombs explains how to stop arguing with reality without giving up on the person you love. Using Byron Katie’s four questions and “the turnaround,” he walks you through a practical way to challenge the thoughts that keep you trapped in fear and control.

You’ll learn why constant monitoring can turn you into a warden instead of a parent, how to respond to relapse without losing yourself, and why radical acceptance can make you more helpful—not less.

Jason also shares the personal turning point when he stopped fighting the truth about his own addiction and finally created room for grace to enter.

The addiction doesn’t have to take two people.

Listen now and discover how to get your life back while becoming a calmer, stronger influence in your loved one’s recovery.

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

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When you love someone struggling with addiction, every buzz, missed call, and stretch of silence can feel like a possible emergency.

Before long, your phone stops being a tool and becomes a leash attached to your loved one’s chaos.

In this episode, Jason Coombs explores the phenomenon known as “screen apnea”—holding your breath or breathing shallowly while checking a screen—and explains why families affected by addiction may be especially vulnerable to it.

After months or years of anticipating the next relapse, crisis, hospital call, or broken promise, your nervous system can become trapped in a constant state of vigilance. That chronic stress can disrupt your sleep, appetite, energy, physical health, relationships, faith, and ability to make thoughtful decisions.

Jason shares practical ways to loosen the leash while still loving your addicted family member, including healthier phone boundaries, better sleep, nourishing food, movement, sunlight, meaningful connection, and his daily “DOSE” approach to supporting emotional well-being.

You can be reachable without being owned. You can love deeply without being held hostage. And you can take care of yourself while your loved one works through their own recovery.

Because taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s foundational.

To learn more about the Serenity Circle and other Live Unhooked resources, contact [email protected].

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

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Your loved one relapsed. Now what?

For many families, relapse immediately triggers panic, anger, lectures, threats, silent treatment, or another round of rescuing. It is not because they are bad people. It is because they are scared—and in that fear, they forget everything they have learned.

In this episode, Jason Coombs shares the STORM Response, a five-step framework designed to help families respond to relapse without getting pulled back into chaos.

STORM stands for:

S — Steady yourself first
T — Tell yourself the truth
O — Open the right conversation
R — Remember the boundary you already set
M — Move one step, not the whole mile

Jason explains why relapse can be part of the behavior-change process rather than proof that all progress was fake. He also walks through how to regulate your nervous system, resist the urge to lecture, reinforce honesty, return agency to your loved one, and support recovery without supporting the addiction.

You’ll learn:

• Why panic leads to rescuing, persecuting, and controlling
 • How to separate the truth from fear-driven assumptions
 • What to say when your loved one tells you they relapsed
 • Why honesty disappears when it is punished
 • How to hold a boundary calmly and compassionately
 • Why you should not create new boundaries in the middle of a crisis
 • How to focus on one next step instead of trying to control the entire future
 • Why doing nothing may sometimes be the wisest response

Relapse is a symptom of the disease. It is not a moral failure, and it does not automatically erase every step forward.

You did not cause it. You cannot control it. You cannot cure it. But you can contribute to recovery by responding with steadiness, truth, healthy boundaries, and love.

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

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What does a spiritual awakening actually look like?

For most people, it isn’t dramatic. It may be a Tuesday afternoon when you suddenly realize you haven’t checked your addicted loved one’s location in days. It may be the first time you hold a boundary without collapsing under guilt. It may be a full night of sleep after months or years of fear.

In this episode, Jason Coombs breaks down Step 12:

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

Jason explains:

• What a spiritual awakening really means
 • Why small internal shifts matter more than dramatic moments
 • How helping other families strengthens your own recovery
 • Why service protects you from fear and isolation
 • How to apply the 12 Steps to finances, education, work, health, and relationships
 • What it truly means to live unhooked

The 12 Steps are not only a way out of addiction or codependency. They are ancient, practical principles that can change the way you approach every difficult area of your life.

You cannot control the path your addicted loved one takes. But you can recover your peace, strengthen your faith, help others, and become someone who stays grounded even when life around you is not.

Subscribe for more conversations about addiction, family recovery, healthy boundaries, spiritual growth, and learning how to be okay—even when someone you love is not okay.

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

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What if your loved one doesn’t change right away?

What if they’re still struggling, still making choices you don’t understand, and still leaving you wondering, “Am I doing enough? Am I helping? Am I enabling? Am I just stuck in the same painful loop?”

In this episode of Get Unhooked, Jason closes out week six of the family recovery masterclass with a powerful reminder: your freedom cannot depend on your loved one’s sobriety.

Jason walks through how the 12 Steps apply to families, not just the person struggling with addiction. He explains how steps 10, 11, and 12 become a daily way of living—turning fear, resentment, control, and exhaustion over to God while learning to respond with clarity instead of panic.

This episode is especially for parents, spouses, siblings, and loved ones who have spent years trying to fix, rescue, manage, monitor, or motivate someone they love. You’ll hear why progress may not always show up as a changed loved one right away, and why becoming more honest, more aware, and more spiritually grounded is still real progress.

Jason also talks about:

• Why family recovery is not about becoming perfect at every framework
• How to stop living in the emotional “911 call to God”
• Why prayer and journaling can become a real relationship, not just a crisis response
• How to know the difference between helping and enabling
• Why setbacks do not mean you failed
• How to unhook without giving up on the person you love
• What it means to “intuitively know” how to handle situations that used to baffle you

If you are exhausted from carrying someone else’s addiction, this episode will help you take a deep breath and remember: you can get the oxygen mask first. You can become healthy and strong. You can find peace in the storm.

And you can get unhooked—whether they choose recovery today or not.

Learn more about Brick House Recovery:
brickhouserecovery.com

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

Send us Fan Mail

What if the words “I’m sorry” are not enough?

In this episode of Brick House, Jason Coombs walks through one of the most powerful parts of recovery: making real amends. Not the kind that asks someone else to hurry up and forgive you. Not the kind that tries to erase the past with one emotional conversation. Real amends are different.

They require honesty, specificity, humility, and sustained change.

Jason introduces the CLEAN Framework for making amends:

C — Choose the moment
L — Lay out the wrong
E — Express remorse without relying on “sorry”
A — Accept their terms
N — Now sustain the change

Through personal stories involving his mother, a friend he manipulated for money, a former coworker, and even the little boy inside himself, Jason shows why amends are not about controlling the other person’s reaction. They are about cleaning up your side of the street.

This episode is especially meaningful for anyone in recovery, anyone who loves someone in addiction, or anyone carrying the weight of unresolved harm, shame, or broken trust.

You’ll learn why asking, “How can I make this right with you?” can change everything — and why the real proof of an amends happens after the conversation.

Because amends are not theatrics.

Amends are truth plus change.

Learn more about Brick House Recovery:
https://brickhouserecovery.com

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode of The Brick House Podcast, Jason Coombs shares a powerful conversation from just outside Yellowstone, beginning with a personal story about seeing wild bears with his wife during a sacred season of her cancer journey.

From there, Jason leads listeners into a deeper discussion on Step 9, grief, surrender, and what it really means to make amends.

So often, families impacted by addiction are told to forgive, apologize, move on, or “just set boundaries.” But real healing is more honest than that. In this episode, Jason explains why amends are not the same as apologies.

An apology is words.
 An amends is truth plus changed behavior over time.

Jason also unpacks the grief many families carry while loving someone with addiction: the lost holidays, the missed moments, the version of the person they loved, and even the version of themselves that got buried under years of crisis management.

You’ll hear about:

• The difference between apologies and true amends
•  Why grief often shows up as anger, irritability, or control
•  How the stages of grief apply to families affected by addiction
•  Why surrender is not giving up
•  How to begin noticing your own patterns with compassion
•  The importance of making repair through changed behavior, not performance

This episode is for the parent, spouse, sibling, adult child, or friend who is tired of living in the emotional rollercoaster of someone else’s addiction and is ready to begin finding peace again.

At Brick House Recovery, we believe you did not cause your loved one’s addiction, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it — but you can learn how to stop contributing to the chaos and start contributing to recovery.

Learn more at: brickhouserecovery.com

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

Send us Fan Mail

When you love someone struggling with addiction, even a simple conversation can feel like walking into a courtroom, a battlefield, or a trap.

You want to help. You want to say the right thing. You want them to open up, be honest, and finally see what you see. But too often, the conversation turns into defensiveness, arguing, guilt, shutdown, or another exhausting ride on the addiction rollercoaster.

In this episode, Jason Coombs teaches families how to approach hard conversations differently using simple, practical tools from motivational interviewing, including the OARS framework: open questions, affirmations, reflections, and summaries.

You’ll learn how to ask better questions, reflect instead of react, validate without enabling, and use the “importance ruler” to help your loved one begin making their own case for change.

Jason also shares the Stop, Drop, and Roll framework for those heated moments when emotions rise and the conversation starts to get away from you.

This episode is for parents, spouses, siblings, and loved ones who are tired of walking on eggshells and want to learn how to stay loving, clear, and boundaried—even when addiction pushes back.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How to stop turning hard conversations into interrogations
• Why open-ended questions lower defensiveness
• How to affirm honesty without approving harmful behavior
• Why reflection helps your loved one feel heard
• How to use the importance ruler without pushing or preaching
• What to do when the conversation gets hot
• How to stay loving without getting pulled back into chaos

You can’t control your loved one’s addiction, but you can change the way you show up. And that change matters.

Learn more about Brick House Recovery and the Unhooked family recovery work at BrickHouseRecovery.com.

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

Send us Fan Mail

What if the biggest mistake families make in addiction recovery is focusing on the wrong mountain?

In this episode, Jason shares a deeply personal reflection after celebrating his birth son’s 19th birthday—a moment that reminded him just how impossible recovery once felt.

For years, addiction felt like an endless cycle of trying, failing, promising, and starting over. The distance between hope and reality felt impossible to cross.

So what changed?

Jason breaks down the 3 essential ingredients of hope that every family and individual in recovery must understand:

✔️ How to clearly see the destination
✔️ Why most people can’t see the path forward
✔️ The overlooked factor that determines whether lasting change is even possible

You’ll also hear why recovery isn’t built through quick fixes, silver bullets, or treatment alone—and why people recover through relationships, identity change, and small, meaningful wins over time.

If you’re exhausted from trying to help an addicted loved one—or if recovery feels impossible right now—this conversation will help you rethink what real progress actually looks like.

In this episode:
• Why hope breaks down in addiction recovery
• The “mini summit” strategy that builds lasting momentum
• Why long-term sobriety feels impossible in the beginning
• The surprising reason treatment alone doesn’t work
• How identity—not just abstinence—creates lasting change
• A healthier way families can measure progress

Recovery is possible. But it may not look the way you think.

🎧 Subscribe for weekly conversations on addiction, family recovery, boundaries, healing, and hope.

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100

Send us Fan Mail

If you have an addicted loved one and you have been holding everything together for longer than you can remember, this is the episode where it starts to come apart, in the best possible way.

Jason takes you inside one of the most pivotal weeks of the six-week Live Unhooked Masterclass. You will learn why cleaning the goldfish never works, what really happens in Step Four of recovery, and the one psychological model that explains why the same loving move you have made a hundred times keeps producing the same painful result.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS

[01:00] Jason sets the tone: "This is the masterclass. We go deep, quick."

[01:36] Why powerlessness is not weakness, and why calling addiction a brain disease changes everything.

[02:31] The story of Jason naming his disease "Sancho" in his fifth treatment center.

[05:18] The goldfish framework: why cleaning the bowl matters more than rinsing the fish.

[10:23] "The cave we fear to enter holds the treasure we seek." Joseph Campbell sets up Step Four.

[13:45] A live five-round box breathing exercise with Jason.

[21:01] Steps Three and Four: the decision to surrender versus entering the cave.

[25:19] The Drama Triangle introduced: rescuer, persecutor, victim defined.

[30:26] How all three roles can show up in the same person on the same day.

[43:32] Jason gets personal: how the Drama Triangle has shown up at home during Brin's battle with cancer.

[50:36] This week's assignments: the seven-day personal experiment and the Step Four workbook.

[57:09] "Trust the process." Jason's closing challenge.

THE DRAMA TRIANGLE

Jason walks the group through the Karpman Drama Triangle, named by psychologist Stephen Karpman in the 1960s. Three roles families touched by addiction tend to cycle through.

The rescuer fixes everything and is exhausted. Their identity depends on the chaos continuing. The persecutor weaponizes love and feeds shame, and shame fuels addiction, it does not stop it. The victim says I cannot, and the suffering becomes an identity.

The part nobody tells you: these roles rotate. In a single day, the same person can rescue at breakfast, persecute at lunch, and collapse into victim by evening. Awareness is the first step out.

THE GIFT INSIDE THE CAVE

Jason discloses that the Drama Triangle has shown up not only in his recovery work but at home as his wife Brin has battled cancer. He has caught himself using bravado as a mask for victimhood. The awareness is not shame. It is a gift.

He introduces a core teaching: our greatest weaknesses and our greatest strengths are two sides of the same coin. His anxiety drives the habits that built Brick House Recovery. His ADHD, harnessed with intention, becomes a superpower. Step Four is not punishment. It is a treasure hunt.

THIS WEEK'S WORK

The seven-day personal experiment. Give up one thing you depend on (coffee, scrolling, snooze, sugar) for seven days. Not for deprivation. For empathy. You cannot fully understand what your addicted loved one is up against until you have sat with your own brain bargaining.

The Step Four supplemental workbook. A daily self-inventory designed to surface patterns, ego defense mechanisms, and the roles you play in your family system.

"Place your recovery first. This is the very thing I am asking your addicted loved ones to do. All the other areas in your life will be blessed in time."

RESOURCES

Unhooked: How to Help an Addicted Loved One Recover by Jason Coombs (Audible, Amazon)

Brick House Recovery: https://brickhouserecovery.com

The Live Unhooked Masterclass

If this episode moved something in you, share it with someone carrying the same weight.

Support the show

Join Jason Coombs LIVE each week for tips and tricks and LIVE Q&A’s. Go to https://www.liveunhooked.com/live-unhooked. 

For information about treatment services visit https://www.brickhouserecovery.com/

For more information about Warrior Heart Bootcamp for men visit www.awarriorheart.com

https://awarriorheart.com/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Warrior Heart = 2026Brick100

To learn more about the women’s retreat, Heart of a Woman:
 https://theheartofawoman.net/

$100 DISCOUNT CODE for Heart of a Woman = 2026Brick100