Getting used to it, Midlife

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Making new friends in midlife can feel surprisingly vulnerable—especially when the kids are grown (or there were never kids to begin with), routines have changed, or life has become a little quieter. In this episode of Getting Used to It, Beth and Suzee get honest about the hopes, hesitations, and awkward “will you be my friend?” moments that come with building new connections as adults.

They explore why friendship matters in this season of life, how to get clear on the kinds of connections you’re looking for, and practical ways to take the first step—from saying yes to more invitations to reaching out, hosting, and treating friendship a little like dating: slowly, openly, and one conversation at a time.

If you’re craving more laughter, community, and meaningful connection, consider this your nudge to initiate.

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Rewind: we're both just back from vacation, so we're re-sharing one of our favorites from Season 3.

Loneliness can sneak into the busiest years. We're exploring friendship in midlife—why connection feels harder now, what's really shifting, and how to build bonds that fit this season. We unpack the "friendship recession," trace how modern life rewires intimacy, and get practical: friendship is a skill, not a lightning strike. Learn simple moves like choosing aligned activities, initiating consistently, asking better questions, and investing in a mosaic of connections—from casual buddies to soul-deep confidants. Pick three people, go one notch deeper than small talk, and build friendships with care and courage. If this resonates, follow the show and share it with someone who needs to hear it.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

Stay connected, stay curious, and we’ll see you next time!

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

Stay connected, stay curious, and we’ll see you next time!

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When was the last time you felt genuinely angry? And what did you actually do with that anger?

Midlife anger doesn’t always look like yelling. Sometimes it’s snapping at your partner, simmering over an injustice, swallowing what you really want to say, or finally refusing to stay quiet.

Suzee and Beth talk about how anger changes as women age, why so many of us were taught to be “good girls,” and what our anger may actually be trying to tell us.

Are you a suppressor or an expressor—and has that changed with age?

Your anger isn’t a character flaw. It’s information.

Share this episode with a woman who needs permission to feel what she’s feeling.

resources

Reference

[1] Woods, Pike, and Mitchell — Anger, Aging, and Reproductive Aging

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

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He’s exhausted, forgetful, and irritable. You’re not sleeping either—and now you’re both wondering what happened to the people you married.

Suzee and Beth talk “manopause,” what andropause actually means, and the midlife pileup they call Couple Pause: when both partners are changing at the same time.

Could less blame and more curiosity help you face it together?

Fatigue, brain fog, mood changes, sleep problems, and low libido can have many causes. Talk with a qualified healthcare professional about individual concerns.

Resources

The “male menopause” — NHS

Testosterone Therapy for Hypogonadism — Endocrine Society

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

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Midlife has a way of changing how we see the past. The mistakes that once made us cringe start to look more human—and the younger versions of ourselves deserve more grace than blame.

Suzee and Beth talk about regret, self-forgiveness, and why getting older can make us kinder to who we used to be. What would change if you stopped judging your past self by what you know now?

Show resources: 

American Psychological Association: How regret may change with age

Stanford’s research on how our priorities change as we age

The Cornell Legacy Project

Daniel Pink’s The Power of Regret

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

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Suzee didn't know what Beth was going to ask her. That's what made it real. In this episode, Beth turns the mic on Suzee and goes deep — on what it actually felt like to grow up Korean American, caught between a traditional immigrant household and an American world that didn't quite fit either. The exhaustion of straddling two cultures, the love that looked like pressure, and what you can only see clearly from the other side of 51.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

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Your partner watched you change — the heat, the fog, the mood, the dryness — and had no idea what was happening. But here's the uncomfortable part: neither did you, really. Not fully. Not at first.

Suzee and Beth get into the strange reality that menopause is still something women are expected to announce — like it's news, like you scheduled it — to partners who grew up watching their own fathers say nothing, in a world that barely studied it at all. Nobody warned him. But nobody really warned you either.

And now somehow it's on you to hand him the map you're still reading yourself.

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The hardest part of losing family isn’t always the obvious grief. Sometimes it’s the identity shock: waking up to the fact that there’s no one left above you, no living witness who can say, “Here’s who you were,” or “That’s not how it happened.” Beth joins us for a candid, often darkly funny, deeply human talk about what it means to become the oldest woman in your family and how that realization can make you feel strangely alone, even when your life is full.

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

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Female pleasure, women's anger, divorce — three things that were basically unspeakable when we were growing up. Nobody said don't talk about it. We just knew. This episode is about what it costs to swallow things that were always yours to feel.

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"Not fair. I want that too."

That's the first honest reaction we had reading Molly Roden Winter's writing about her open marriage — and it sent us somewhere way deeper than gossip.

Because the real spark isn't who dates whom. It's the shock of watching someone actually pause, ask herself what she wanted, and make a conscious choice about her relationship instead of just... following the default script.

In this episode, we get into mononormativity — the cultural gravity that makes monogamy feel like the only civilized option — and why so many of us were conditioned to believe that even wondering makes us the bad guy. We dig into the research on relationship and sexual satisfaction across monogamy, ethical nonmonogamy, and open relationships (including why the findings are genuinely mixed, and why "what matches your values" will always matter more than picking the supposedly correct structure).

Then we go to the messy, human middle: jealousy, the fear of not being enough, and the identity earthquake that hits a long-term marriage when one person starts asking who they are beyond wife and mom. We also wrestle with rules like "don't fall in love" — and what it actually takes for any partnership to hold up under real honesty, real communication, and real emotional elasticity.

If you've ever felt guilty for a thought you didn't even choose — you're not alone.

Listen, send this to the friend who will actually talk about it with you, and leave us a review. Then tell us: what's your gut reaction to open marriage or polyamory, and where do you think it comes from?

Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on Bluesky @gettingusedtoit.bksy.social.

Stay connected, stay curious, and we’ll see you next time!