Gift Horse

What gift do you get for the Monica, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross who have everything? Tracy obligates the Friends to spend up to six weeks a year on a boat that is emphatically not theirs. Mike confines the Friends to an underground dungeon with all the amenities.

Mike's back-to-school gift will prep Tracy to throw any kid in the school. Tracy's back-to-school gift will make Mike somewhat more popular than the teacher.

Mike finally receives his badge for explaining the blockchain, among other accolades. Tracy's dancing is on par with the National Ballet, among other accolades. Both will leave the arena dripping with gold, but only one can win the episode.

"Envision" by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: https://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/music.html

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Mike and Tracy gift each other vehicles. Along the way, Tracy confronts the question of who really owns a childhood bike, and Mike imagines the whimsical possibilities implied by the race car bed.

Tracy celebrates pizza with a basket both literal and metaphorical. Mike celebrates pizza by combing the saucy depths of pizza Google.

Attributions: Bushwick Tarantella by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/

Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1300002

Artist: http://incompetech.com/

Mike celebrates 12 years of marriage with a new level of appreciation for (and expertise in) floral arrangement. Tracy celebrates 12 years of marriage with a hottie in a fine suit.

Tracy gifts Air Bud a complex tax situation. Tom gifts Air Bud a protracted Supreme Court battle. Mike gifts Air Bud a powerful piece of parchment. We all evince too much faith in the capabilities of this admittedly charismatic dog.

With great power comes great responsibility. Tracy now has to give everyone rides to the airport. Mike has to resist his natural inclination to become an evil god. The most important thing is that we all recognize and agree that Thor is not worth discussing.

Tracy offers Mike some sea-worn game machines and a pre-rejection of an entire category of potential gifts. Mike offers Tracy 600 pounds of spit and a compelling new character, Mike "The Animal" Mike.

Tracy's new nickname communicates power, crownability, and undeniable dinosaurness. Mike uses his cold, machine-like mind to pierce the veil of mystery that surrounds his latest appellation.