Black women are too often conditioned to downplay our abilities and accomplishments, and that can lead us to not believe in ourselves. But when we step back from those outside voices and take a good look at what we have done, we will see the evidence of our competence has always been there. We just have to stop talking ourselves out of owning it.

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Hundreds of thousands of Black women are currently navigating a job market that isn't responding to what we know and are capable of. We need to know our worth remains and cannot be touched by any layoff, bully of a manager, or slow job market.

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A seat at your table is not a birthright; it has to be earned. It can also be reconsidered. Let's talk about it this episode.

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In this episode I'm talking about why other people's no — whether it comes at you loudly or quietly, through commands or just a look — is not the law of your life. I also want to name something real: for Black women in this country, compliance wasn't just a habit we picked up. It was a survival strategy we inherited. That's worth sitting with.

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In this episode I talk about the boxes some of us were handed early on, the real gifts that were inside them, and the very real grief that comes when the promises they made don't pan out. And I talk about what I believe is true: that living as yourself, without performance and without apology, is one of the most generous things you can do -- for yourself and for everyone around you.

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You're riding home feeling grateful, saying thank you to the universe for meeting your needs -- and then it hits you. Isn't that exactly what people do when they thank God for sparing their house while their neighbor's is flattened? In this episode, we sit with survivor's guilt, worthiness, and what it really means to hold gratitude and grief at the same time -- when nobody's running the grid and we have to decide what we're going to do about it.

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What if you've been resilient this whole time and just didn't know it? In this episode, I share a conversation that completely changed the way I see myself and resilience. We're letting go of the "bounce back" myth and looking at the quiet, everyday ways you're already showing up for yourself.

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The idea of being the "bigger person" has been weaponized to silence survivors. In this episode, Lotus describes how this concept can be reframed.

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For some of us, knowing someone is disappointed in us or having someone harshly criticize us can color our sense of our own worth or ability. But we need not and should not define ourselves according to the people who have a low opinion of us.

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It can be challenging to walk the tightrope between wanting to be rescued from life's challenges and wanting to never depend on anyone ever again. But that is part of the work of being a well-adjusted adult.

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