Girl Talk With Pops

We talk a lot about men and women and the dynamics between them in relationships. But I don’t think we’ve talked about it like we do in this episode. Today’s show is inspired by a few conversations with friends and one in particular with my boyfriend. He had a call with a community group and was surprised to hear from black women that they often feel they’re at the bottom of the societal totem pole.

I was shocked to hear that he’d never heard that sentiment before. So I wondered why that might be the case, and I get my dad’s take to see if he feels the same way. We also debate the “supportive role” that women are expected to play, how history and perspective contribute to conditioning people this way, and how everything going back to what we saw and experienced as children plays its part. Additionally, we briefly touch on the concept of black male privilege and discuss why therapy needs to be a regular part of people’s lives.

We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!

In this episode:

[02:53] - Does Pops think that women care for, prefer, or help men more than themselves? He sees a generational difference.

[05:00] - However, Brittney has a different perspective. She sees the rise of self-care as a priority among women today, especially of her generation.

[06:07] - In history, even as recently as the 60s and 70s in the U.S., women have needed men in order to do certain things.

[08:30] - Pops feels that a lot of women fall into the characterization of being subordinate instead of the stronger woman behind a strong man.

[10:03] - What’s Pops’ perspective on why women still fall into that stereotype?

[11:31] - Brittney believes that patriarchy at its finest is the fact that so much of history is written from the perspective of men.

[13:11] - If women created the laws, Pops doesn’t think we’d have as many problems as we do now.

[15:05] - Black male privilege is a thing that isn’t really recognized.

[18:03] - For Brittney, black women with a son or in a relationship are more likely to nurture and prioritize men more than themselves.

[19:50] - Pops doesn’t believe the nurturing phase should go on forever. It’s seasonal and once it’s over, it’s over.

[21:16] - Brittney discusses the ego’s close relation to the unfulfilled needs of the inner child.

[22:46] - Even if you don’t realize it, childhood patterns and other things you learned and saw from your parents play a part in your relationships all the time.

[23:55] - You can’t view this type of conversation from one specific lens.

[25:51] - Brittney stresses the need for therapy to be a normal part of society, like getting a physical exam every year.

[28:43] - Pops shares that he’s been wanting to do therapy and encourages others to think about going too.

Links and Resources:

Girl Talk With Pops

@GirlTalkWithPops on Instagram

Girl Talk With Pops on Facebook

Girl Talk With Pops on Apple Podcasts

How do daddy issues impact romantic relationships? What’s it like to be expecting a new child while still healing the relationship with your father? How difficult is it to talk to your parents about parenting, when you don’t trust their opinions or how they’ve shown up for you in the past? In today’s episode, we answer these questions and more in a continuation of our conversation with special guest Ms. Reid of DaaamDaddy.com and The Discussion Room podcast.

You’ll hear about Ms. Reid’s limited dating experience as a teenager, including breaking up twice with a cheating high school boyfriend. Abandonment issues, and certain things she didn’t really want to see from parental figures, came into play and made it easy for her to end romantic relationships. 

We also touch on the co-parenting discussion Ms. Reid had with her partner (who already has a child), one non-negotiable aspect of raising her child, the impact of a parent’s age on their kids, and even discuss a bit about blended families. Then the tables turn for a few minutes, where the interviewee becomes the interviewer and asks Pops a question. This, and more family stories and surprising anecdotes, make up the conclusion to our interview.

We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!

In this episode:

[01:57] - Ms. Reid explains how she thinks her relationships with her biological dad and other father figures impacted her love life in general.

[04:00] - One particular time, Ms. Reid saw her father do something pretty wild involving a woman who he was dating at the time.

[06:23] - Brittney wonders if having a younger parent impacts kids differently. Ms. Reid believes that this was to her benefit.

[08:59] - Brittney mentions how her own mom (who had her at 18) would warn her against doing certain things at a young age too.

[10:48] - Thinking about father-daughter relations and with a child on the way, Brittney asks Ms. Reid how she thinks about this type of relationship generally? 

[13:55] - Recently, someone asked Ms. Reid’s about her non-negotiables around parenting her expectant child. 

[16:10] - Brittney gives Ms. Reid the floor to ask Pops any questions on her mind. She asks, “What was it like for Pops to co-parent with different people for his kids?”

[19:03] - Someone has to be the bigger person in a co-parenting scenario, whether or not they like the situation. 

[22:51] - What’s the benefit of having a blended family? Pops gives his opinion.

[25:38] - To close it out, Ms. Reid shares her self-reflective work. In 2015, she started dealing with daddy issues (which turned into her blog).

Links and Resources:

Daaamn Daddy

@daaamndaddy on Instagram

The Discussion Room podcast

Girl Talk With Pops

@GirlTalkWithPops on Instagram

Girl Talk With Pops on Facebook

Girl Talk With Pops on Apple Podcasts

We love talking to other women about their relationships with their fathers and how those relationships impact their lives. In this episode, we have a special guest and fellow former Howard University alumna: Ms. Reid of DaaamDaddy.com.

We love talking to other women about their relationships with their fathers and how those relationships impact their lives. In this episode, we have a special guest and fellow Howard University alumna: Ms. Reid of DaaamDaddy.com and The Discussion Room podcast.

Ms. Reid is the product of teen parents and for years thought that being smart, happy, and social meant exemption from suffering any daddy issues. However, being both a teacher and a storyteller, she saw herself more and more in the youth she encountered in the educational field, hurting from relationships they never had and watching them fail with their fathers.

Then one day, she was hit with the realization that she’d buried some issues with her birth father and didn’t recognize other issues, because they didn’t come in a form society told her to expect. Thanks to that epiphany, the types of stories she told changed and her blog was born!

Today, Ms. Reid discusses the specific issues she’s faced with her biological father (and other father figures) in recent years. We cover how difficult it can be to stop communication with your father altogether, what it’s like to have a father who denies you and how to heal and recover from that, and how daddy issues contribute to trust issues all-around.

We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!

In this episode:

[03:16] - How does Ms. Reid define her relationship with her father figures? This is still a work-in-progress with her biological father.

[06:39] - At 17, Ms. Reid got a court letter in the mail that no child wants to read. Hear the heartbreaking message it conveyed.

[08:34] - Ms. Reid describes a recent awkward incident that felt like an insult to injury.

[11:35] - Ms. Reid discusses the challenging relationship that triggered issues with her biological father and caused her to reach out to him by phone.

[13:48] - Everything happening for a reason is an idea that’s come up on this podcast previously. Brittney asks for Pops’ perspective on this, as it relates to Ms. Reid’s story.

[20:04] - In the past, Pops has recommended writing a letter for women who want to get something across to their dad.

[22:54] - Hear the response Ms. Reid received when she asked her father a few years ago what he wanted to do, work-wise.

[24:29] - Ms. Reid reveals that she put off telling her dad about her pregnancy for months. She didn’t share this publically and was very selective about who she told privately.

[29:55] - In a tough spot due to financial circumstances, Ms. Reid recalls a surprisingly supportive conversation she had with her grandfather.

[33:31] - They say "it takes a village to raise a child." Ms. Reid very much believes that she’s a product of such a village.

Links and Resources:

Daaamn Daddy

@daaamndaddy on Instagram

The Discussion Room podcast

It’s been a while, but we’re very excited to be back and starting the new year off with another season! 

To kick things off, we’re picking up right where we left off last season. In our season 2 finale, Pops asked me what he could have done differently or better as a father. So in today’s episode, we really open up the doors of communication: I explain how he could’ve shown up better for me as a child and adult, and he explains his mindset and thought process then and now.

You’ll hear him talk about an incident when I was young where he still thought more selfishly. He acknowledges past and even current mistakes that could’ve created a bigger issue between us. We discuss how it all affected his own parental and romantic relationship skills as an adult.

This episode brings us back to what the show’s really all about--real father-daughter talk. We hope you enjoy what you hear today. If you do, let other people know by writing us a review and rating our podcast on Apple with five stars. And if you haven’t already, make sure you hit the subscribe button so you won’t miss a single episode!

In this episode:

[05:53] - Pops talks about when he wasn’t thinking clearly and allowed things to happen that could’ve driven a wedge between him and his kids.

[07:24] - If you have kids, then your kids are mirroring the person you are too.

[08:42] - Brittney accepts Pops’ apology and remembers being flabbergasted about his wedding taking place so close to her 12th birthday.

[10:31] - As a proponent of healthy blended families, Brittney insists on having a good relationship with any kids of the person you’re dating.

[11:28] - Parents don’t always think about how their kids feel about this situation. They just jump in and start making all these plans based on their own happiness.

[13:14] - Here’s what Pops sees as the more important thing to consider when you have kids and are in the dating game.

[15:22] - A few times in the past (and even in the present), Pops hasn’t followed through after setting an expectation.

[17:19] - While blaming this year on COVID, Pops acknowledges his tendency to not follow through sometimes.

[19:40] - Brittney reveals what triggers her in relationships. She can’t stand it when the man she’s dating does this.

[21:11]- Sometimes, people feel if they ignore something, others around them will too. Not all people are like that, though.

[23:27] - Follow-through is especially important for women. They’ll feel like you don’t care because women feel love through connection and reassurance.

[25:51] - Brittney reminds us that father-daughter relationships shape what daughters look for in and expect from other men in their lives.

[29:10] - Parenting styles differ with each generation. Pops tells us what he didn’t see growing up--from his or others’ parents.

[31:25] - Pops takes it all back to the days of slavery and mentions how and why it was deemed as a sign of strength.

[37:01] - Has Pops’ lack of emotional expression with women been a real conversation in his relationships? What feedback has he received?

Links and Resources:

Girl Talk With Pops

“What men learn about women from having daughters” (Season 2 Finale)

@GirlTalkWithPops on Instagram

Girl Talk With Pops on Facebook

Traditionally we hear about lessons that dads teach their daughters, but to mark the end of season 2 Brittney and Pops talk about what he's learned from her. Pops then shares what he's learned about himself in the GTWP journey so far and talks about how GTWP has impacted his love life.

They discuss how being a father and learning how to parent don't stop when kids reach adulthood as well as how having a daughter can make men more vulnerable and accountable for their actions.

Brittney shares some lessons too, but you can check out a full read of things she's learned from Pops here: 5 Lessons I Learned from My Dad on Men and Dating.

Thanks for rocking with GTWP for another season. Don't forget to share this episode with a friend and rate GTWP 5 stars on Apple Podcasts.

Keep in touch with us on IG @girltalkwithpops and email [email protected] if you have questions/feedback. 

Brittney is back with Chiedozie Okafor, host of the I Think I Love My Wife Podcast, for *bonus* episode part two. He's back sharing his truth and more about why it takes him time to get to know a woman and settle down. They also discuss:

• How men “slow play” a situation to learn more about a woman
• Why women should give men (and take) more time to figure out if it’s really a match
• Dating multiple people at once (and why women should do it more often)
• Things men consider before dating a woman with kids
• How women mature and start trading height for honesty

Chiedozie also puts Brittney in the hot seat and digs in about her situationship turned long distance relationship, and the trust and honesty that's required to make it work.

Hope you enjoy this additional male perspective on all things dating, sex, and relationships! If so don't forget to rate GTWP five stars on Apple Podcasts, subscribe, and share.

Send feedback to [email protected]
Tag on IG while listening: @girltalkwithpops

In this *bonus* episode Brittney switches it up a bit and has a solo conversation with Chiedozie Okafor, host of the I Think I Love My Wife Podcast. And just like you’re used to, he’s sharing his honest and transparent perspective on all things dating, sex, and relationships. To give you a truly different male perspective we cover a range of topics that Pops and B talked about in Season 1:

• Dating in your 30s, women’s internal “clock”, and how relationships progress or don’t because of pressure to get married/start a family
• The tangled world of situationships, dating, and courting — how we define each concept and the levels of intentionality that come with those connections
• His experience with celibacy and the fact that guys always want sex
• What vulnerability means to men, why it’s not always shown, and it's relation to honesty
• And how men set boundaries/make it clear to women what they really and how women feel when those "boundaries" are set

In summary Chiedozie essentially details how a man might come to the decision to be in a relationship and the TL;DR is that women can't force or pressure men into a [lasting] relationship.

If you like what you hear don't forget to subscribe and rate GTWP five stars on Apple Podcasts, share our podcast with a friend, and follow us on IG: @girltalkwithpops.

Send feedback to [email protected]

It's Father's Day weekend and we're back with more questions you probably wouldn't ask your dad! 

We're excited to welcome Jerralyn Belinda to the show, co-host of the Tea with Qwns Podcast! On this episode she's helping us elevate the conversation around father-daughter relationships and share another woman's point of view on how she talks to her dad about dating, relationships, and love. And from the questions below you can tell she's keeping it 100!

• How can I address my partner climaxing too quickly?
• Tips on how to officially end an argument/interact with your partner post-fight

Shout out to @jerralynbelinda for joining GTWP and check out the Tea with Qwns Podcast.

By listening to GTWP, this Father's Day and everyday, we hope that you're inspired to have more meaningful conversations with you pops and father figures. Shout out to all the dads out there listening! ❤️

Also, check out our recent feature: Girl Talk with Pops: How Dads Improve Dating

The Girl Talk With Pops conversation is growingggg! 

With Father's Day coming up now is the perfect time to elevate our discussion and speak directly to another woman about her relationship with her father as it relates to dating, relationships, and love. We're excited to welcome MelRose, host of the Relayshons Podcast! In this show Mel opens up about the distance between herself and her father and asks Pops questions that she wishes she could ask her dad: 

• How should I deal with a man who is not emotional?
• What is one thing that a man yearns for the most, but would never ask?
• What have you learned about yourself during your bachelor years?

Shout out to MelRose (@thediaryofmr) for joining GTWP and check out the Relayshons Podcast.

And if you have questions for Pops DM us! @girltalkwithpops

What a time to be alive. 2020 has been eventful to say the least. First COVID now national uproar over the latest black man (George Floyd) being killed by police brutality. Like you, B and Pops are tired, but not mum on everything that's going on. Listen in as they vent about the state of things in America, the history of how we got here, and what people are doing about it. Pops also shares his experience with the police and racism. 

These are their personal and very candid thoughts and they're not meant to offend anyone. If you have strong thoughts or feedback then healthy debate is welcome. :) Sending love and light ❤️