This episode’s question comes from Katie in Wisconsin: (3:33)

Question:
"When I was in high school, I loved being in sports and clubs and hoped my daughter would enjoy them too. But she’s very introverted and isn’t interested. I know she’s her own unique person, but it feels like she’s missing out. How do I parent a child so different from me?"

The Goal:

True thriving happens when kids feel the freedom to be themselves. While parents often wish for their kids to share their interests or strengths, we’re called to raise our children in the unique way God designed them to be. Embracing their differences strengthens connection and allows them to flourish as the individuals God created.

Common Misconception:

Many parents think they must shape their children to be like themselves or follow in their footsteps. While sharing common interests can be enjoyable, children thrive when they’re supported in their unique paths, even if that means they’re vastly different from us.

Staying on Track in Parenting:

1. Celebrate Uniqueness as God-Given:
   • God intentionally made each child with unique traits and interests. When we celebrate their differences, we reflect God’s love for their individuality.
   • Proverbs reminds us to “train up a child in the way they should go”—not necessarily the way we want them to go. Like archers who study the natural bend of the bow, parents should observe their children’s “natural bend” to guide them well.
2. Different Isn’t Wrong:
   • Distinguish between behaviors that are genuinely concerning and behaviors that are simply different from our expectations.
   • Children need space to experiment with their personalities and interests, even if these behaviors sometimes annoy us. Giving them this freedom builds their confidence.
3. Flip the Script on Parenting Goals:
   • Rather than hoping our children become “mini-me’s,” we can embrace the adventure of watching them become who God intended. It’s freeing to move away from control and instead become encouragers, helping them become their best selves in God’s plan.
   • “Flipping the script” reminds us that parenting isn’t about control; it’s about supporting our children’s journey with grace and curiosity.

Favorite Quotes from This Episode:

• “Kids thrive when they feel the freedom to be themselves.”
• “Our job is not to raise kids in our image, but to raise them according to who God created them to be.”
• “When we focus on supporting their natural bend, we set them up for lasting confidence and joy.”
• “Flip the script—parenting is less about our goals and more about who God is calling our children to be.”

Key Points Takeaways:

• Your child’s uniqueness is a gift. God’s design is not for kids to mirror us, but to shine in their own way.
• Encourage, don’t control. As they grow, embrace the role of guide and encourager, giving them space to explore what makes them different.
• Ask, “Is it wrong or just different?” Most of the time, kids’ quirks and differences are harmless—they’re simply expressions of who they are.

Conclusion:

In Episode 12, Greg and Cody talk about the balance between nurturing kids’ unique traits and letting go of control. Using Katie’s question as a springboard, they explore how kids develop confidence and strength when given the freedom to be themselves. This perspective shifts the parent-child relationship, making it richer, more joyful, and a beautiful reflection of God’s unconditional love.

Learn more at:
www.gracebasedfamilies.com

Produced by: The fine folks at Gum Audio
www.gumaudio.com

• (00:00) - Intro