We’ve all been there: a simple request turns into a power struggle, and before you know it, the "train is off the tracks." In the series finale, Megan Hunt shares how to navigate these moments using the Levels of Engagement framework. Learn why "winning" an argument is never as important as repairing the relationship, and how to turn every conflict into a coaching opportunity that prepares your child for the real world.
In This Episode, We Discuss:
- The Levels of Engagement: A "step-stool" approach to correction.
- Level 1: Playful Engagement: De-escalating 80% of behaviors with a light touch.
- Level 2: Structured Engagement: Giving specific choices and "two-second" directions.
- Level 3: Calming Engagement: Recognizing when the "lid is flipped" and shifting focus from obedience to emotional regulation.
- The "Re-Do" in Action: Why practicing the right behavior is more effective than lecturing about the wrong one.
- The Anatomy of a Repair: Megan shares a vulnerable story about a pajama-time power struggle with her two-year-old and why saying "I’m sorry" is essential, even when you're the parent.
- Reflecting vs. Retaliating: How to move from "re-litigating" the past to "narrating" your child’s feelings to help them feel seen and known.
- Character Coaching: Using correction cycles to identify where a child needs extra support—whether it's self-control, boldness, or gentleness.
Key Takeaways
- Match the Intensity: Use only the level of engagement necessary to solve the problem. Once the behavior changes, "step down" the stool back to playfulness.
- Connect Before You Correct: You cannot successfully correct a child if you aren't in connection with them.
- Repair is the Finish Line: A correction cycle isn't complete until the relationship is fully restored.
- Launch-Ready Skills: Every conflict at home is a "practice round" for the conflicts your children will face as adults.
Meet Our Guest: Megan Hunt
Megan Hunt is a TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) practitioner, elementary school teacher, foster/adoptive mom, and Head Parenting Coach at The Well. She is dedicated to giving parents practical, hope-filled tools to raise kids with grace.
Podcast Catchphrases for Ep 8
"Your goal is that the behavior changes AND the relationship remains intact.""When the lid is flipped, reasoning is gone. Switch to calming engagement.""Repair isn't just a return to where you were; it's often an improvement.""A 'Re-Do' is muscle memory for the heart."
The Levels of Engagement Step-Stool
Level | Strategy | GoalPlayful | Use a silly voice, a challenge, or a joke. | De-escalate and redirect.
Structured | Give two "Yes" choices (e.g., "Pants or shirt first?"). | Return to cooperation.
Calming | Stop the task. Focus on breathing, water, or a quiet space. | Regulate the brain's "fight or flight" response.
Meet Our Guest: Megan Hunt
Megan Hunt is a TBRI (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) expert, elementary school teacher, foster and adoptive mom, and the Head Parenting Coach at The Well. She specializes in helping parents develop a framework for discipline that prioritizes connection and long-term emotional health.
get more free resources at www.gracebased.com