Go With God

If you’ve ever thought, “I wonder if I could…” but weren’t sure where to start in even trying something new - this conversation is for you. The fear, the doubt, the rejection - you won’t be or aren’t the only one to face it. I hope this helps.

A continued conversation on a topic that has inadvertently, or sometimes obviously, woven its way into the canvas of our lives. After releasing Part One, I heard from so many of you, sharing your heart and your thoughts on shame. Whether it was navigating a divorce, the way your body changes, how you care for your family, navigating your marriage or your reaction every time someone asks you about your dating life – shame has shaped a lot of us. But I think the sooner we can learn the warning signs, the repercussions of giving this negative emotion room in our lives, the sooner we can learn how to grow forward instead of being trapped by falling backward.  My friend, Connie, is a counselor who not only walks alongside her clients through the damage done when shame enters the picture, but she’s also seen what it can do in her own life. Our conversation around how to recognize the emotion and restore some healthy rhythms as we walk through it was so good for me, and I think you’ll feel the same way.

Shame has shaped chunks of who I am personally. I think you’ve probably felt it, too. Maybe it’s kept you from looking in the mirror. From walking into a particular building. It could be you can’t find a close connection because you feel the need to keep a piece of you hidden. Or you fear applying for a job because of questions asked.

What do you do with not only the shame you feel, but the shame you give? How do we start changing these patterns? Doing something about the sharp scissors of judgement cutting their way through our everyday?

This week is simply a set up to get your wheels turning, to get the conversation started internally and externally. How has shame shaped you? How is it shaping you? Are you using it, inadvertently or not, to shape something or someone around you? These are important questions to ask yourself. I hope this episode helps you take a step toward answering them.

In the exhaustion of feeling like it’s all too big to even try to make a difference, while we’re being targeted with more information than we know what to do with and our hearts and brains are honestly just tired - Sarah and Beth occupy a corner of the internet that, in so many ways, makes you feel able. More specifically - capable - of making a difference. I’m calling this our palette cleanser - our reset button in all the chaos.

Making sure we’re all in the know is what led to the creation of our Did Anyone Tell You episodes. Our friends, Kaley and Khari, roll in about once a month to equip us with all we need to make small talk with whoever we find ourselves trapped with for an undesired amount of time.

We’re equipping you with conversation starters, or maybe enders because who really wants to talk about the Emmys? It was weird, okay, and I felt like it was worth talking about.

If there’s anything we learned from this episode, it’s that I don’t know the names of celebrities and I can’t name where states are with any accuracy, Kaley’s 2020 mantra has become “do we really care about that?” and Khari is cheap...which honestly is old news at this point. The bad news is, our batteries ran out right when we began the discussion around if Beyonce is under or overrated...which is just the dangers of the job, I suppose. Anyway, we did a lot of ranking of what is under/overrated and we want to know what you think about any given topic so let your voice be heard by tagging us or messaging us @notmpodcast on Instagram.

If you ever wondered how our marriage works - this is a pretty accurate picture. Ryan talks through the more complicated side of all things home buying/selling, while I just offer advice on how to pick a house based on how it feels. Yeah, I said it. The house has to feel right.

“This is just for now, things will slow down.” -Me, Callie Holland

That’s a direct quote I say to my husband every two months or so when he tells me we have too much going on. It’s a pattern. Every time I do the work to take something away,  I add something in. My pastor actually just said it this way, “If you’re going to add, you have to subtract.”

I do not like the name of this episode. I don’t like even considering this concept. As a fully-realized two on the enneagram – the thought of someone CHOOSING not to like me…well, now, I just convince myself I can surely change that. But, the reality of life is there are times you’ll run into people, beginning all the way back in elementary school, who just simply don’t like you. Sometimes for a reason, sometimes for a season or sometimes just because. And then there are people who won’t be good for you. Relationships that you allow – yeah, you heard me, I said you ALLOW – in your life that actually make you worse. Or push you to be someone you don’t like. I didn’t know what a toxic relationship was until I started learning who I was created to be. I get it, you don’t always allow these relationships – at times you’re stuck in them whether it’s at your job or in school. You can’t always hide from them, so how do you learn to function within them? How do you protect yourself? A few weeks ago my friend Sierra reached out to share her story about this exact topic. How do you keep yourself encouraged when it feels like people are against you? How do you not believe what they say about you or get tangled in what they think about you? As you come to learn with time, sometimes people just won’t like you and let me be the first to say…that’s okay. Actually, you’re probably better for it. Even if it’s painful. These are tough truths for me, but I love the openness and honesty of this conversation mixed with the actual fact that Sierra sounds like Miley Cyrus. That’s a win-win situation.

Last week felt like the emotional equivalent of pulling on compression leggings while sweating. Is that not the worst? All it does is make you sweat more…it’s a vicious cycle. In the heart of a season full of transitions, I knew some time spent looking back on life with NOTM regular, Brooke, and answering questions based on past experiences would simply remind us that we’re able to handle more than we think. We invited you all to send in your questions and we categorized them with surprising ease because they all centered around a few things: body image/fitness, honeymoon nights/marriage, pregnancy/childbirth and personal growth. These are almost all transitional seasons, things that require us to change whether we’re ready or not. So, if we can help prepare you – well – that’s exactly what we’ll do. Journaling Bible

*If the motherhood side of life isn't your cup of tea just yet - go ahead and skip to around 33 minutes in for all of the make-up/skincare talk!* This is maybe one of my biggest areas of flat out no one told me and I blame my mother for this hole in my life. But she made up for it by plucking my eyebrows for me in high school. Life has a way of balancing out doesn’t it? But, what I can do is find people who know more about topics than I do and let them lead us in their ways. So, we find ourselves with my friend, and soon to be yours, make-up artist, Emily Odom. We talk about starting a business, juggling said business with motherhood and then we spend far longer than I thought was possible on a podcast talking about all the tips for what to buy and the tricks for making it work for you when it comes to make-up and skincare. And Emily is giving us a surprise at the end, so make sure to stick around!