God Knows Podcast: Live from Valhalla

Come in out of the snow and prepare to have your chestnuts roasted on an open fire, it’s the God Knows tinsel-festooned special!

Everyone's invited to the gods' divine shindig. Valhalla is rocking! And, being a multi-faith pantheon, the lads have got Yuletide, Christmas and hedonistic Bacchanalia covered. Get ready to meet some of the weirdest seasonal characters on the planet. They’ll even treat you to a heart warming party piece or three. Such luxury. Does your pathetic mortal soul even deserve it?

Hosted by: Thor (Blustering God of War and Thunder), Dionysus (Inebriated God of Wine and Party Time) and Cupid (Slovenly God of Love and Crisps).

With special seasonal guest appearances by: Belsnickel, Blitzen, El Caganer, Elf on a Shelf and the 13 Icelandic Yule Lads.

Warning: contains foul language and traditional Christmas scenes of whip-happy Bavarian frenzies.

Taken from our 2024 Halloween spectacular, "One night at Gran’s".

In the midst of Thor’s convalescence, the boys receive a mysterious invitation from the geriatric proprietor of the local adult wares emporium. They should know better than to trust Gran Summers, but the reward for completing her quest is more tempting than the proverbial Golden Fleece. Will a surprise gift from Odin help our heroes win the day, or is there a darker, more powerful force waiting to smite them down? This legendary Halloween special is not for the faint hearted.

Warning: contains foul language and monstrous latex nobblers.

Small height, big fight! Gnome Force! - Taken from our latest episode "Goddlebox". 

In the midst of a cost of living crisis, what better way to save a few florins than a cosy night in watching the televisual box? Cupid’s managed to bag a dodgy Firestick from the local bridge trolls and it comes with access to the usually-restricted godly channels. Say hello to chariot racing’s Flaming Ring of Death and the cult 1980s action classic that is Gnome Force. Small height, big fight! So catchy. Oh, and Zeus, mighty King of the Olympus Pantheon, drops by too. But will Thor’s loincloth survive unsoiled?

Warning: contains foul language and harmonic gaseous expulsions.

The gods plan the biggest blowout this side of the Trojan War. Dionysus, in his role as Official Party Meister, has sorted the venue, buffet and music, but what about the extensive celebrity guest list? Will Miriam Margolyes accept her invitation? Cupid is crossing his tiny golden wings she does.

Warning: contains ‘passing’ references to the Court of King Caractacus.

Cupid has eaten a family pack of rancid prawn crackers. Uh oh, the outhouse has been infested with verminous gnomes, and Dionysus has something special fermenting in the indoor latrine. It’s a full code brown emergency situation. What is our cuddly God of Love to do?

Warning: contains foul language and references to noxious brown fountains.

Thor and Dionysus trudge the Chuffed Buyer Supermarket aisles on a quest for godly sustenance. Unfortunately, our God of Wine and Party Time has the divine munchies and his pester power is dialled up to 11. But, as we all know, Thor isn’t made of florins… or a patient temperament. 

Warning: contains foul language and references to off-brand products.

The boys are joined by the wickedest man in the world - no, not Tom Hanks, that’s just a baseless internet rumour. It’s the wandering spirit of Aleister Crowley that’s seeking to make a demonic pact with Amon. Surely our resident imp can’t be stupid enough to sign the contract. But how exactly do Boudicca, man jam and Cheryl Baker’s legs come into the mix? Tune in to find out more. If you dare… Mwah, mwah, mwah!

Warning: contains foul language and references to unnatural goat shenanigans.

Thor delivers this enchanting Viking poem, evoking the magic and majesty of a Norse Yule. Wonderful!