We have been talking with Alan & Pauly Heller for the past week. The topic has been their book titled, “Learning to Trust…Again”. Today we move into the discussion that is specifically for the spouse of the one who has been sinned against. In our example, we talk to the wife. Now that doesn’t mean you husbands get to check out here, Alan and Pauly offer some sage wisdom in this podcast for both of you.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss several things:

1) Where trust begins for the wife.

2) Does God work with the wife as much as the husband?

3) How does forgiveness lead to trust?

If someone could record your thought life for just one day…what would we learn? It’s so important to realize how much impact self-talk has on your life. Are you one of those “stinkin’ thinkin’ people”? Or are you renewing your mind with God’s transforming and life-giving words?

Knowing God’s truth is one thing. Applying it to our lives with joy in our hearts is another. Well, that’s what we are doing today, we are learning how to trust again with authors Alan & Pauly Heller. Alan is in the middle of teaching us the five “R”s to learning how to trust again. The five R’s are:

1) Remember

2) Release

3) Rethink

4) Relearn

5) Reestablish

In Psalm 18:27, we read, “You (the Lord) rescue the humble, but you humiliate the proud.” Is that good news or bad news?

Well, it’s excellent news for the Lord to rescue us, but He tells us that He will only do that if we humble ourselves. His promise is based on a condition. He will make things right, but He does it His way and not ours. I’ve noticed over the years that God has two ways to handle sexual sin. 1) humility or 2) humiliation.

When it comes to learning how to trust again, humbling ourselves is the only way this works. The reason that many of us don’t do that is that of our pride and arrogance. Fear is another massive factor in coming clean. We tend to think that we’re protecting our family by keeping this stuff from them, but at the end of the day, that’s just being proud and trying to control the situation.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss several things:

1) How big is your God?

2) What does it look like to listen to the Lord?

3) We begin to learn the five “R”s to trust.

If I have heard this story, I’ve heard it a gazillion times. A woman meets the perfect Christian man. They get married and are living the fairy tale; great job, good money, home, cars, kids and then something so evil happens that the wife cannot begin to fathom. Her husband is addicted to pornography, and it’s led to adultery.

“How can this be,” she thinks. “Not my husband!” This is the kind of things that happen to other people - not her and her family. He loves Jesus and cares for her and the kids, he serves on the elder board at the church and volunteers at the homeless shelter. This can’t be true, she thinks. But it is true, and the fall out begins, and the trust is shattered.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss several things:

1) The difference between an apology and repentance.

2) What it looks like to hate your sin as God hates it.

3) What is the proof of a changed life in Christ?

As men, we tend to view trust one way, and women view trust a much different way. It’s important to respect that and not demand that the other person view life through your lens. They can’t; it’s impossible. Both men and women have a different lens through which they see these things, especially if the trust has been broken with some form of sexual sin like pornography, an emotional affair, and of course adultery.

In today’s podcast, we’ll discuss several things:

1) When we understand sin, we understand God.

2) How important is it to have a culture, a community of friends, that you trust in confessing sin?

Alan and Pauly Heller are my guests today, and our series is from their book titled, “Learning to Trust again.” Alan and Pauly have been in ministry since 1974 and have been leading couples communication workshops and speak nationally on the subject of marriage. They are also the co-founders of the Biblically based counseling ministry “Walk & Talk” and have contributed to Focus on the Family’s Pastors Magazine.

In today’s podcast, we’ll ask several questions:

1) How does a history of broken trust impact your relationships and marriage today?

2) How do you respond when we lose trust for those in authority?

3) What happens when we put our trust in the wrong person?

We wrap up our study on being Made Perfect in Purity today. We started off in the Old Testament by defining what purity is, we studied Prov 5, 6, and 7 and heard the tenderness of our Heavenly Father. We then moved to the New Testament and looked at the incredible story of Jesus and the woman who was caught in adultery. Now we get to see how all of this comes together to a fantastic conclusion.

I mentioned several days ago that Jesus knows the pain and shame that goes with your sexual sin. Today we learn how He did that.

In today’s podcast, we’ll learn:

1) Why Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” who is the only one who can take away sin.

2) Why Jesus bled from seven places for our lack of purity.

3) What a lesson like this should drive us to do in response.

We’ve been reading in Proverbs for the last several days studying chapters 5, 6 and 7 which is part of the Old Testament. Today we move to the New Testament and ask the question, How exactly did Jesus handle people who were sexual sinners? Did He yell at them and shame them?

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

1) How and why the Church distances itself from sexual sinners.

2) How Jesus upholds the Old Testament law for adultery AND at the same time, ushers in New Testament grace.

3) How Jesus is not just the Lord of lords and the Kings of kings, but also the Groom of grooms.

On Friday we started a new series on sexual purity. We looked at several examples, like what happens when you put bad fuel in your gasoline tank and how that makes your car spit, knock and sputter; how what happens when you download a virus to your computer.

So we defined purity as "nothing mixed in". It’s a foreign substance; it’s an enemy. And we applied that definition to our spiritual and sexual lives.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

1) What do you treasure about life? What do you do with it?

2) What does it really mean to live? Especially after we have sinned sexually?

3) The Importance of teaching healthy sexuality.

After spending the last week on a pretty weighty topic discussing gender identity and transgenderism, I wanted to move into a short series that is a lot more encouraging.

When you hear the word “purity,” what do you think of? If you didn’t grow up in the church, is it an old-fashioned, outdated term to you? If did you grew up in the Church you may think of like a “purity ring.” Regardless, my guess is that it brings to mind something to do with sex or abstinence from sex. But here’s my question, is that definition correct?

In this series, I teach on the subject of purity, what it is and what it means to you and how to apply it to your whole life - not just in the area of sexuality. I want you to think holiness. God is holy.

In today’s podcast, We’ll discuss several things:

1) What exactly is purity?

2) What does it mean to “bend your ear” and why that’s important.

3) Why is our Heavenly Father giving us an incredibly power disclaimer in Proverbs 5 before He reveals His truth about purity?