Building a legacy of destiny requires reaching out to the world and results in bringing about changes in the world.

The family was meant to be a redemptive vehicle. God blesses us to be a blessing to others.

One of God’s primary purposes for your family is to make Christ known and to help fulfil the Great Commission.

In Matthew 28:19, 20 we find the greatest commission ever given by the greatest Person who ever lived. Jesus’ last instruction to His disciples and to the entire body of believers through the ages up to now still is:

This is the command given to every Christian and every family.

The reality of Christ in your life and your family gives credibility to your witness.

As you teach your children and others, your legacy will spread throughout the world.

We have choices about many things in life, but not about whether we will die or not and also not about whether to leave a legacy or not.

The only question is, what kind of legacy is it going to be?

The three commitments we discussed, namely to grow in Christ, to build a godly family and to help fulfill the Great Commission will require time. I can well imagine that all of us have at some time or another used the phrase or at least thought: ‘I don’t have time’ for this or that. But that phrase is never a statement of fact. It is always a declaration of priorities.

Please plan to intentionally be involved in all three the commitments we discussed.

We want to encourage you not to be satisfied with a saved soul and a wasted life.

Thank you and God bless you and your family as you participate in the fulfilling of the Great Commission!

Building a God honoring and future impacting legacy of destiny also requires developing a godly family.

After church little Johnny sobbed all the way home. His father and mother asked him what was wrong, but he would not say. Eventually he came out with what it was. He said that the pastor said that he wanted the children to grow up in godly homes, but Johnny said, ‘I want to stay with you guys!’

Well, do your children know for a fact that they are being brought up in a home where Christian values are being taught and modelled?

God’s plan for a fulfilling marriage and strategic family is in opposition to the world’s plan. The world’s plan focusses on self-gratification and self-promotion where spouses inevitably drift apart and ultimately find themselves in the very disillusioned position of isolation.

God’s plan for marriage focusses on glorifying God and building oneness through the power of the Holy Spirit. The result is peace and harmony and growing ONENESS. Children are trained to face a dangerous world out there.

Remember: Your family influences future generations!

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said: “The righteous man lives for the next generations.”

Henry Drummond said: “The Christian family is the supreme conductor of Christianity.”

A happy family is not an end in itself!

Let us adopt this transcendent view when it comes to the family.

Leave your family an honorable legacy, not merely an inheritance.

At our last session we will look at the greatest commission ever given by the greatest Person who ever lived.

Building a legacy of destiny, in the first place, requires pursuing personal growth in Christ.

To raise a godly family, starts with my being a godly husband and father or a godly wife and mother.

Spiritual maturity does not come naturally. It takes a decision of the will to want to grow and then a lot of consistent dedication.

Teachability is crucial! A person’s teachability determines his capacity to learn!

A God honoring character should be our aim. D L Moody said: If I take care of my character, my reputation will take care of itself!

In Rom 12:1 and 2 we are encouraged to be transformed by the renewing of our minds in order to know what God’s good and perfect will is. We have to read and study God’s Word!

As we pursue growing towards Christlikeness, we should be prepared to face a variety of obstacles and challenges.

You must be prepared to persist through discouragement when there is a lack of appreciation in spite of your efforts to do what is right. There is no worthwhile alternative for doing the right thing. There are always alternatives, but they come at an unacceptable price.

Remember, we don’t get the marriage we wish for. We get the marriage we work for!

Also remember, God will honor your faithfulness.

“His master said to him: ‘Well done, good and faithful slave; you were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.”  – Matthew 25:23.

Faithfulness is a sign of good character – Godly character.

Next time we will consider the commitment to love one another.

At the end of this very short introduction to the Weekend to Remember, we would like you to think about the kind of legacy that you will leave behind when one day you step out of this world to be with God.

We would like to help you grasp a vision and encourage you to dream and plan a legacy of destiny. A legacy that would count for God.

Look ahead, down the road of time, and consider who you are influencing with your life and how you are influencing them.

Don’t focus on the past, on everything you lacked and all that was wrong. None of us comes from a perfect past.

The legacy you will leave behind is of much greater importance than the one you received, and this legacy you leave behind is the only one you are responsible for.

Building a legacy of destiny requires three levels of commitment:

Firstly, a commitment to personal growth in Christ.

No one drifts towards spiritual maturity. A life lived intentionally under the control of the Holy Spirit, results in growing spiritual maturity.

Secondly, a commitment to love one another.

Without a disposition of love towards others, especially your spouse, you have no credible testimony, especially not towards your children whom you want to influence for the rest of their lives!

Thirdly, a commitment to help reach the world.

In Mt 28:19 and 20 we find Jesus’ Great Commission, our marching orders to go make disciples of all nations.

So, at our next meeting we will consider the first of these three commitments, our responsibility to grow in Christ.

In closing the sessions on Returning a Blessing for an Insult let us return to the Bible verses with which we started this series.

I Peter 3 starts with the word ‘likewise’ which refers to 1 Peter 2:21, 22:  “For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in His steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When He was reviled, he did not revile in return; when He suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to Him who judges justly.”

Marriage affords us ample opportunities to react either with an insult for insult or a blessing for an insult. To choose consistently to give a blessing instead of an insult we need to have Christ in control of our lives. The longer we have Christ directing our lives and marriages through the power of the Holy Spirit, the easier it will become to choose Christ’s way.

You could pray with me now, if you so desire, to ask Christ to take control of your life:

This is a prayer we could pray every time we act contrary to Christ’s example, which can mean several times daily.

For more information on this subject contact contact [email protected]

To be able to return a blessing for an insult there needs to be forgiveness. An unforgiving and hardened heart cannot give a blessing for an insult.

We cannot talk about forgiveness without going to Jesus on the Cross. God accepted the Cross to make forgiveness possible and to model forgiving to an unforgiving world. The Christ of the Cross is our great example. Do you know Him? Have you experienced His forgiveness?

We can only forgive others who have hurt or injured us by word or deed when we forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven us.

Forgiveness is only finally complete when the severed friendship has been mended and returning a blessing for an insult can be an important step on the road to reconciliation.

We are powerless to change another person, but by giving a blessing for an insult we can influence one towards a softening of heart which can ultimately lead to reconciliation.

If you do not have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, the One who died for your sins to be forgiven so that you can forgive, please pray the following prayer with me:

For more information on this subject contact [email protected]

Good day. Last week’s session was rather negative, but today we are all about building up one another by giving a blessing for an insult.

A good example I can think of concerns a friend of mine, let us call her Sally.

Sally went through a painful divorce during 2020. Because of circumstances she and her ex-husband still share the same large home they own. Sally decided to give a blessing for an insult. The insults that came her way were many and painful, yet she acted with a blessing for an insult.

Her husband was on medical treatment that had an extremely negative effect on him, so much so that he was in very bad shape especially the day after the treatment. Sally would get up at night, put cold cloths on his forehead and would even sleep on the carpet next to his bed to be close when he needed help.

Because Sally felt things were now supposed to move to a conclusion, she asked her ex when he thought they should sell their home so each could go their own way. To her surprise he said to her he thinks he made too hasty a decision. Sally gave blessings for insults.

Certainly the very best example of a blessing for an insult is that of our Lord Jesus, who, when He hung on the cross could say“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

In part 3 we will discuss why forgiveness is necessary and how it is possible to forgive pain and insults. May God bless you during the week.

Greetings to you. This is the 4th chapter on Resolving Conflict. In the next three weeks, we will discuss what we mean by ‘returning a blessing for an insult’ and how we can apply it. We will concentrate on cultivating a new attitude with our husband or wife.

An example of an insult-for-insult relationship is the classic relationship between British Prime Minister, Sir Winston Churchill, and Lady Nancy Astor, the first female member of Parliament. They were both known for their quick tongues and their dislike for one another. Lady Astor on one occasion said to Churchill, ‘Sir Winston if I were married to you, I would put arsenic in your tea!” To which Churchill replied, “Lady Astor, if I was married to you, I would drink it.”

One can only imagine what a marriage relationship would look like when two people speak to one another in this vein, and this insult-for-insult relationship happens far too often in many homes.

I am sure you will agree that life and marriage will be special and fulfilling if we could have this attitude in our marriage relationship.

Next week we will discuss how we can have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind in our marriage relationship. Giving a blessing for an insult.

Today we end our talks on sexual intimacy by sharing the secret to satisfying sex. And no, there is no 10 steps or 5 to do’s that will change your sex life but, there is a liberating truth; ‘if we pursue a satisfying marriage relationship, we will enjoy a satisfying sex life!’

Marriage prospers when a couple’s focus is on good, and solid, and authentic values.

So, what do we value in our marriages?

Song of Songs simply states; ‘…he is my lover, my friend…’ – Song of Songs 5:16. It is about communication, sharing, and listening. It is about spending time together and enjoying the things you both love – as if it is the first date again. It is about tenderness, expressing affection, showing love without sex.

Be friends and then be lovers!

Song of Songs says, ‘Place me like a seal over your heart … for love is as strong as death‘ – Song of Songs 8:6. Be faithful, constantly reaffirm your covenant, build trust, develop healthy attitudes towards your spouse and towards sex. It is about respect and forgiveness.

It is about choosing to live life together in the power of blessing!

Song of Songs says, ‘You have captured my heart … your love delights me, my treasure … your love is better than wine … your lips as sweet as nectar … honey and milk are under your tongue …!’ – Song of Songs 4:9-11.

Be fun, be explosive, be playful and be passionate!

Remember – companionship together with commitment and passion create an environment where your sexual relationship can flourish.

We are still talking about sexual intimacy.

Today’s focus is brilliantly described in the title of John Grey’s well-known book – ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. In today’s world, a trend is to claim that men and women are the same, but this is not true – yes, we are equal but definitely not the same!

We constantly observe differences in men’s and women’s attitudes, needs and responses. This confirms the Scripture that declares that God created us ‘male’ and ‘female’. We are different and distinct, and this is also true when it comes to sex! Understanding these differences is foundational in developing a healthy, mutual satisfying sex life.

When it comes to sex, we commonly observe differences between men and women in various areas.

For example – our attitudes towards sex, for men sex is a high priority and it’s physical, for women other priorities are higher and therefore sex is relational.

Stimulation for men is body-centred (what they see, smell and do is important) but women are person-centred so they focus on touch, attitudes and words.

Men want to feel that they are needed physically but women want to feel that they are needed emotionally.

For men it is anytime, anywhere and orgasms are shorter and intense, while women need time, build-up and orgasms are longer, more in-depth.

It is important to take note of this – but these differences are not concrete facts, there is no ‘ought to be‘.

Use this knowledge in your marriage to understand each another better – but enjoy the fact that you are a unique couple, and you are God’s perfect gift to one another.