GOIN' COMMANDO

If you got into a fight with a blind man, who would win? What if said blind man was a sword-wielding, jungle-hardened Vietnam veteran? That's on the table this week as we discuss BLIND FURY starring Rutger Hauer. Of course there's a montage. Of course there are freakishly stupid con men and their even stupider henchmen. OF COURSE there's an annoying kid who forms a bond with the protagonist. But also, consider this: a cop gets his hand chopped off. There's a swordfight around and in a hot tub. There's a blind man badly driving. This movie is not serious at all and it also whips ass. We also talk about Hauer's legendary run as a pitchman for Guinness beer. Pure Genius baby.

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Hold on to your crunchwraps: this week the Goin' Commando Boys are visiting the not-too-distant future in the metropolis known as San Angeles and the 1993 sci-fi action DEMOLITION MAN, where all vices are illegal, including chocolate, drugs, alcohol, swearing, sex, and everything else that makes life worth living. One man's utopian paradise is another man's fascistic hellscape. The symbolism here isn't very deep but we get into it anyway. We also talk about the goo Sylvester Stallone's character John Spartan is frozen in for 37 years. We basically gush over how entertaining Wesley Snipes is as Simon Phoenix. We hypothesize about virtual sex. OF COURSE we talk bathroom logistics re: the three seashells. Obviously we give our Taco Bell orders. We discuss Denis Leary writing his own lines for this movie. It's all here. Hit that play button and live mas with us.

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An epic movie deserves an epic(ally long) podcast and that's what we give you—whether you wanted it or not—with this week's dive into Michael Mann's 1995 classic HEAT, starring Robert De Niro, Al Pacino, Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore, Al Pacino, Ashley Judd, Danny Trejo, Kevin Gage, Henry Rollins, Dennis Haysbert, Hank Azaria, Tone Loc, DR. JEREMY PIVEN, and the list goes on and on and on. A three-hour epic with two protagonists who are more alike than they initially think, we dive into everything that makes HEAT one of the greatest movies—regardless of genre—of all time. Dissection of the biggest scenes, including the loudest gunfire ever recorded on film (we're pretty sure), character flaws and motivations, Mann's incessantly rewarding attention to detail, we get into the nuts and bolts of all of it because for us, the podcast action is the juice.

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A shoehorned special! James insisted we tackle this forgotten 1991 Jeff Speakman movie THE PERFECT WEAPON. It's maybe the only kenpo action movie ever made in America. It has a soup-thin plot. The acting is not good. Literally no woman speaks in the entire movie even though Mariska Hargitay is like second billed. BUT, Bryne and James learned a lot about Speakman's story, his personal life, his battles and...he seems like a really nice guy. We tried to take it easy on him. Listen to find out how we did.

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Ummmmm did you forget about us? Too bad! Sorry, but we're BACK, baby! The Season 2 premiere of GOIN' COMMANDO is here!!!

We kick off our new season with, what else, an Arnold movie. Not just any Arnold movie, but Bryne's favorite Arnold movie, the 1990 sci-fi classic TOTAL RECALL directed by Paul Verhoeven (the master). Bryne explains *why* it's his favorite Arnold movie and brings up some symbolism that James admits he may not have considered. For example, uh, is Mars supposed to be Hell? Or is Earth Hell? Are they BOTH different Hells? We talk about how Verhoeven shoots action, Sharon Stone, Jonny Cabs, the yassification of bad guys in Hollywood, and much more. It's good to be back y'all.

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Better late than never, 🎃SPOOKY SEASON🎃 wraps up at GOIN' COMMANDO HQ with a look back at 1996's FROM DUSK TILL DAWN, directed by Robert Rodriguez and starring George Clooney, Harvey Keitel and Quentin Tarantino, who also wrote the screenplay. We dive into our sexual awakenings brought on by Salma Hayek, roast Tarantino for his severe lack of acting skills as well as his foot thing, and Bryne says the word "pussy" far more than he is really comfortable doing. We discuss this movie's disjointedness from its first half to the second half, and of course, we talk about the vampires. And how much James really, really wants a cock gun. Among other things, we sidebar into Halloween Kills, Mr. Skin, boiled peanuts and other regional gas station snacks, and much more.

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🎃SPOOKY SEASON🎃 rolls on at GOIN' COMMANDO HQ as Bryne and James dive into the 1988 B-movie action horror flick MANIAC COP starring Tom Atkins (the King), Bruce Campbell (the other King), and Robert Z'Dar as the titular character, a zombie-esque being who is either back from the dead to seek vengeance on City Hall for jailing him, who never died at all and is now just severely brain damaged (leading to some clunky-looking kills), or from outer space. It's never really explained how Matt Cordell is impervious to bullets, yet was killed in prison by knives, maybe in the sequels they reveal more backstory? We dive into that, plus we discuss this movie's similarities to others of its era, Bruce Campbell's turn as a cheating husband turned hero (???), Atkins' best fake smile, the slow motion grunts of Cordell's "death" scene, and a lot more.

It's officially 🎃SPOOKY SEASON🎃 on GOIN' COMMANDO as the boys ring in October with a deep dive into John Carpenter's 1988 cult classic THEY LIVE starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. This movie obviously had a lot to say about the political and economic climate of Reagan's America and we do our best to contextualize it for then and now. We talk about the homelessness epidemic in America and the way we've always been taught directly or indirectly to interact with and acknowledge our unhoused neighbors. We discuss the naivete of the average American then and now, as well as how badly mental healthcare has been stigmatized. We do fun stuff too though: we dissect the sublime initial scene with Piper and the glasses, the famous extended fight scene, the bank scene with that one line. It's all here. Grab a bowl of candy corn and listen.

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***Content warning: this episode contains discussions about sexual assault and pedophilia.***  

On this episode of the show the boys watched two different cuts of Luc Besson's 1994 action thriller THE PROFESSIONAL: the theatrical cut released in America, as well as the extended cut that adds a considerable amount of time and depth to the story. Bryne and James compare the two cuts, explore the unique, uncomfortable relationship between Leon and Mathilda, give praise to the kings Gary Oldman and Danny Aiello, and wonder aloud how an adult man could love milk so much. We also talk about Besson's sordid history as a sexual abuser of women, and in particular his marriage to a teenage girl in the '90s and how it seems as though he wrote this movie about his own life.  Plus, Bryne has a hectic day and he and James both tell stories about being bested by bartenders.

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It's long past time we cover the work of the master on GOIN' COMMANDO and that gets rectified this week when we dive into the 1985 classic Hong Kong action movie POLICE STORY starring Jackie Chan, who also wrote, directed and yeah, did his own damn stunts. James tries to medically diagnose Chan as we wonder aloud what would drive a man to suffer for his art to this degree. We talk about the chaotic opening scene in the shanty town, the frantic shopping mall end that yielded the most broken glass in movie history. We pay respect to Chan's immense talent, his comedic timing, his intensity, and his versatility. We also talk about shoplifting stuff from the mall, getting kicked in the balls, Scientology (again), and James tells a great story about standing up to a bully. Fun episode.

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