Hello and welcome to the Say What! Podcast — where, let’s be honest, nobody actually reads these intros anyway.

This episode kicks off with a Mystery Pipe review from a sassy Geordie lady, who may or may not currently have a restraining order involving one very enthusiastic “hole user” — none other than Peter Beardsley. Make of that what you will.

On Thoughts of the Week, we take an intimate look at Big Pappa J’s sausage & beans, alongside yet another baffling tale from the locker room — this time involving the mysterious Doppelgänger cock. Science still can’t explain it.

We introduce a brand-new segment — “What’s in the Shed?” — where The Notorious FA-TT shares a genuinely traumatic allotment bullying story and reveals once and for all why growing sweetcorn is a dangerous game.

Finally, we round things off with Alternative TV Shows, where a group of gold-toothed warriors battle it out with pliers in a brutal reimagining of “Going for Gold.” It’s as classy as it sounds.

We hope you make it past the first four minutes… but if not, we completely understand. Crime Stoppers probably does too.

Love as always,
Big Pappa J & The Notorious FA-TT ❤️