Good Enough Parenting

Your kid doesn’t need to sit cross legged, chanting OM while praying for world peace in order to get introduced to the benefits and power of quieting the constant chatter in our brains and connecting to something bigger than ourselves. 

On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast, I share the SIMPLE and EASY loving kindness meditation practice I use in my house to calm bodies & minds, reduce stress, and foster empathy and compassion for ourselves and our communities. 

No mala beads or sanskirt words required. 

You may not reach nirvana with your nine year old, but you’ll feel more peace, connection and compassion with your kids which is definitely good enough. 

(If your kids are all in for a meditation practice, I LOVE the apps CALM, COSMIC KIDS YOGA, HEADSPACE and MOSHI KIDS!)

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

If only there was a way we could connect with our kids, foster their social/emotional skills, develop their executive functioning while also having fun as a family. 

Oh wait! The answer has been hiding inside our cluttered closet the whole time…. 

Games! 

Structured games are an incredible way to help kids learn to manage their emotions (who hasn’t wanted to punch the candy land board when you get pulled back to gingerbread land mere steps away from the candy castle!), practice calming themselves when anxious (thanks Perfection!) and understand the importance of being a good sport if we want to have people to play with. 

Plus games help families connect on a multi-generational level (watching my 75 year old mom play Headbanz with my 9 year old daughter gives me hours of heart swelling entertainment). 

AND they give kids much needed tactile ways of connecting in person rather than being sucked into screens. 

On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast, I not only share my favorite games for increasing our kids emotional IQ, but also invite Gian Paolo Aroldi (a teacher, brilliant game designer, and oh yeah, my husband) to talk about how to help kids learn to design and develop THEIR OWN games – which has endless benefits in terms of boosting creativity, imagination, logical thinking, and artistic ability.  

So dust off that old Monopoly Board and get your game face on. You’ll be amazed at how an hour of game play can fill up the whole family. Even if your kid destroys you, you’ll have had a good time playing. And that’s more than good enough.

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

Have you heard of the new book “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness” by Jonathan Haidt?  From PBS to TikTok – everyone’s talking about it.  And when something strikes a chord this deeply across our culture, it means something big is resonating. 

And here’s the headline – our young adults are showing more signs of anxiety and depression than ever before. And Haidt draws a very convincing connection between how modern parents have overprotected our children in the real world and underprotected them online. 

BIG food for thought. 

Many of the solutions to help “rewire” the next generations will take collective action.  

But there is also A LOT we can do as parents to change course as well. 

 On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast, I share how one way we can reduce anxiety in our kids is to foster their AUTONOMY. 

Which means teaching them how to open their own cans. 

Kids who feel a sense of self-efficacy (the belief that I can achieve a certain outcome) are less anxious (anxiety comes from feeling out of control). And self-efficacy comes from experiencing autonomy. 

Whether it’s picking out their own clothes, ordering for themselves at restaurants or making their own mac & cheese – when we loosen the reins and expect our kids to step up, everybody wins. 

Kids feel more in control and confident and parents get to do less and enjoy more. And that’s a good enough start to creating a less anxious generation. 

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

If every problem in your kid's life feels like a level 10 catastrophe, this episode is for you. 

Tune in to learn a game-changing parenting tool called "Pebble, Rock, Boulder."  

In essence, you share with your child that some problems are pebbles (a pencil breaking, running out of milk), some are rocks (having a hard time with math, fighting with friends) and some are boulders (natural disasters significant illnesses). 

When we are overtired, hungry, or cranky (or 4 years old) pebbles can feel like boulders. The goal (for kids and grown ups!) is to pause, figure out the size of the problem and then give it the reaction it warrants.

Having this strategy in your parenting toolbox can feel like magic – it makes a very abstract concept concrete, which is what a young brain needs. Instead of yelling in frustration “Don’t get so upset!” we can ask “What size is this problem?”) 

Often kids are able to right-size their response on their own, with a little guidance, empathy and support from us. And even if they still boulder size a pebble problem, you’re still planting the seeds of reflection and problem solving, and that’s good enough. 

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

If you've got a kid who would rather eat boogers than broccoli, this episode is for you. Today I share a conversation with Caitlin Kiare, registered dietician nutritionist and founder of "Mom 'N Tot" Nutrition. We talk about how all foods fit, what parents do to actually fuel unhealthy eating habits and how to shift your meal time energy so your kid will be open to trying new things.

If you want to work with Caitlin, you can find her at
https://momntotnutrition.com/

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

There are some things the 80s got wrong (Halloween candy wasn't dangerous and turns out greed is not so good) but there are many things 80s parents got right. Today, I share four parenting trends we should bring back from the decade of slinkys and should pads to give kids and parents more freedom to make mistakes and missteps - in fashion and in family life.

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

The number one question families ask - how do we set limits with our kids without screaming, yelling and threatening! In this episode, I share how to set boundaries in your home with calm, clarity, consistency and compassion and explain why limit setting is so crucial in fostering feelings of safety and security with your kids. Because even if they claim otherwise, your kid does not want to be the boss of the house!

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

Play is a child’s first language. It’s how they communicate what they’re feeling, thinking and where they’re struggling. If we can access the playful side of ourselves and speak to our children in a language they understand in their bodies and brains, parenting gets so much easier (and fun!) Today I share a story of how I handled my child’s fears by harnessing the power of play. 

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

It’s the end of June, my kids are out of school and the lazy days of summer are laid out before us. 

I used to pack our summers with outings and activities because it was hard being home all together. 

But as my kids have gotten older and more independent and I’ve learned the value of doing less as a parent, I now look forward to quiet days where the biggest question on our mind is what’s for lunch. 

So in summer I pause. I move slow. I play. I appreciate. I enJOY.  

Which is why after this week’s episode of the “Good Enough Parenting” podcast I’ll be on summer break. 

I have LOVED sharing my thoughts, guidance and parenting mistakes with you this past year. I’m honored that you’ve read my words, listened to my voice and told me how the ideas I’ve imparted have resonated with you and sometimes inspired change.

But I practice what I preach. Slowing things down, pausing, and taking care o myself. 

I might pop in with a message here or there to tell you any insights I’m gathering, but for the most part I’ll be savoring summer. 

I’m ending season 1 with a personal story of how my own journey led me to become a good enough parent. And how what my family went through planted the seeds of the podcast. 

It’s a bit vulnerable and scary to share my story so candidly. But I know the good enough parents out there will take it in with open minds and open hearts. 

Which is exactly what our kids need from us. Grace, compassion, love, wonder, curiosity and patience. If we could all show these gifts to our children and ourselves, that would be good enough. 

Have the sweetest summer. See you in September!

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG! 

Our culture has a bit of an obsession with “having.” We’re always looking for the next new thing (app, supplement, couch cover!) we can “have” that might make a change for us. 

There is a fun assessment I play with kids in my practice. I tell them they have a key to a magic room and when they open the door they will find something that makes them happier than they could imagine – but the trick is you can’t buy it with money. Then I ask them to draw it on a special piece of paper. 

It’s amazing what they create. A brother who doesn’t come in my room. A teacher who doesn’t yell. More time to play in the backyard. And I can’t tell you how many pictures I get of families playing and laughing together. 

And when I ask kids if they want to keep what they have created or trade it for something material, they almost always say keep (occasionally someone wants to trade for a dog… but I get it. Dogs are awesome).

We think when we have some “thing” (the bigger house, the extra vacation time, perfect meal planning system) the peaceful home will come. 

But it’s actually the opposite. 

We have to be the person who creates a peaceful home first. There is no magical gift coming our way to transform our family life. It starts with us. 

On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast, I explore who we need to “be” and what we need to “do” in order to have what we want. 

Want a kid that has fewer meltdowns? You may need to “be” someone who values your child’s downtime and sleep and therefore says no to late night sports/school events. 

Want a partner who is truly supportive? You may need to “be” someone who advocates for themselves and asks your partner to get up with the kids so you can sleep in this weekend. 

Want a child who knows how to handle their big feelings? You may need to “be” a parent that knows how to regulate their own first. 

Like it or not, it’s an inside job. As Glinda the Good Witch reminds us, “You’ve always had the power my dear, you just had to learn it for yourself.” 

Today, consider who you need to become to have the family life you want. Even if all you do is begin to imagine her, that’s a good enough start. 

To get Carley’s free video teaching you 4 play therapy techniques you can use TODAY to calm your emotional child and bring joy and freedom back to family life click here!
http://www.paceparent.com/play 

And follow her @CarleyCounsels on FB & IG!