Good Night

Big Louie's Six Satisfactions are, Sex, Steak, Shower, Smile, and Snooze. We've managed to get half of them in this one podcast. Can you guess which half? Give a listen and see if you're right.

Lots of stories here. One is about an answering machine with a message I didn't want to hear. Another is about a woman from a long time ago. There's a little truth about both stories.

The Story Man tries to tell his tale so you feel like you're in the story. That way, you'll feel like you always have his company, and you'll never have to be lonely.

Give a listen to the 20 most important ways to get girl's attention. "Girls" in the sense of human female people of any age. I went to Fordham, and they didn't have girls there at the time. THESE ARE THINGS I HAD TO LEARN FROM HARD EXPERIENCE.

I am sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room with an ear worm that won't go away. An ear worm is a piece of music that keeps going around in your mind, and won't go away.

My ear worm started when I was reading an editorial in The Week magazine that says "Even with everything going for us, America isn't very happy. Loneliness is an epidemic, pain killers are killing US, and way too many of us are loading up on junk food and weapons."

My ear worm is driving me nuts. Time to call in a doctor. My choice of doctors for this ear worm is Doctor Bobby McFerrin. Doctor Bobby McFerrin's doctor degree is from the Berklee College of Music. Doctor McFerrin wrote and recorded a song in 1988 that says, "In every life we have some trouble, but when you worry you make it double." Doctor McFerrin's prescription is in the title he gave the song. "Don't Worry Be Happy." It's a musical way of saying what Big Louie has been teaching for a couple of years in my book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. Available at amazon dot com...shameless plug.

We have a winner in the Summer Stumper contest. Laurel Juthe from Massachusetts. "What is it that is of no use to an airplane, but the airplane cannot fly without it?" Laurel nailed it. She said, NOISE. And she's right. I'm sending her a check for $1 million...postdated to the year 2525. It's a good thing she's young so she can hope to enjoy it.

Believe it or not, some young people enjoy sex more than money. Can't say that I blame them.

Wonder Wench turns on me when I drive. When I go around the corner even when I have most of the wheels on the ground. When I bump up on the sidewalk to avoid a red light, you should hear her shriek. Even when I don't hit somebody. One wrong turn and she goes ballistic, just because I'm getting off the highway using the on ramp. It's just awful.

SHAZAM!!! Pow!! "Oh my HERO!" Yes, this podcast will teach you all about the Super Hero business.

I'm sure you've heard that grammar school chant, "Liar, Liar, pants on fire." My pants have not been on fire for some time. They are folded neatly between my fanny and my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room. And my pants are not on fire because I never tell a lie. Well...hardly ever.

I don't say things like, "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you." Also "I did not chop down that damn cherry tree," "nor did I have sex with that woman." "Watch my lips, no new taxes." "Your president is not a thief. "That wasn't really me in that video." Oh no. But I must confess to an occasional "Can I tell you the truth?"

A little yellow flower poked it's head up through the frozen winter ground today. The first absolute notice that Spring is really coming. I picked it, and gave it to my Lady Wonder Wench. She keeps things like that...shells from beaches we've explored on vacations past, a shirt of mine she used to wear to bed when I was away on business over night, a very old Christmas poem I wrote a long time ago... 3D "Selfies" of the times of our lives. Her favorite story is called "Losers." It's in here too. Thanks for sharing this with my Lady and me.