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Good Vibes Leadership with Bernadette Smith
Good Vibes Leadership with Bernadette Smith episodes
- Get Out of Your Lane
For years, I called myself an ally. But any time there was a Black Lives Matter rally or a benefit for an inner-city school, I'd quietly bow out. "I have my thing. I do the gay thing." I stayed in my comfortable, cozy gay lane. And it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized I didn't even know the full story of Juneteenth — after nearly two decades of doing inclusion work. This episode is about what staying in your lane actually costs you, and the surprisingly simple thing that gets you out of it.
What you'll take away:
- The real cost of staying in your lane — it's not just missed connection. It's a lonelier world of your own making.
- Why you're overthinking it — you don't need a script, a certification, or expertise in every identity. You just need curiosity.
- The ARC Method in action — Ask. Respect. Connect. Three words that work in any conversation, any lane, any moment of not knowing what to say.
- A question to sit with — Where are you staying comfortable right now and calling it something else?
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week I've got stories about restoring erased history in national parks, El Paso keeping Pride visible, women leading on the World Cup pitch, and more. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
10 min - I Felt Free
A podcast host who'd seen me speak in Dallas told me what she remembered most: "This woman is so free to be who she is." That word — free — cracked something open. In this Pride episode, I dig into what I've come to believe after 20 years in this work: almost everything that goes wrong on teams traces back to self-worth. The person who won't speak up and the one who won't stop talking have the same root cause. This episode is about what happens when people finally feel worthy of taking up space — and how leaders can create that.
Takeaways:
- Freedom vs. confidence: What Deidra noticed wasn't polish or charisma. It was freedom — and that's actually what inclusive leadership is trying to build.
- The self-worth root: Almost every leadership failure — the wallflower, the bulldozer, the micromanager — traces back to the same place.
- It goes both ways: Playing small and playing insufferably big are the same problem with different looks. Both are worth examining.
- The ARC in action: Ask. Respect. Connect. A simple practice that makes people feel worthy of being heard — which is the precondition for everything else.
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about LGBTQ+ leaders breaking barriers in the Catholic church, a dementia village that puts dignity first, and more. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Watch Deidra's Show.Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
11 min - My Dad's Pantry
My dad was an Irish immigrant who built a cheap-ass pantry in our basement and stocked it with cans of V8 juice after every can-can sale. I absorbed more than the hoarding habit. I absorbed scarcity thinking — and carried it straight into my leadership for years.
This episode is about that. About zero sum thinking, why it shows up in workplaces, and what it actually takes to get to the other side of it. Spoiler: it's not a policy. It's a choice you make every day.
What you'll take away:
- The pantry you're carrying: How childhood scarcity messages show up in adult leadership behavior — and why it makes sense that they're there
- Zero sum at work: What scarcity thinking actually looks like on teams, and why it's the enemy of inclusive culture
- The ARC as an abundance practice: How Ask, Respect, Connect is built on the assumption that there's enough — and why that makes it work
- The daily choice: What it looks and feels like to practice abundance as a leadership discipline, not just a mindset
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about San Antonio recognizing trans history, Elim Chan breaking a 115-year symphony ceiling, and World Cup seats becoming affordable for New Yorkers, and more! Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
11 min - Suck It Up
EPISODE SUMMARY
I grew up in a household where complaining wasn't tolerated. My immigrant parents had a simple philosophy: others always have it worse, be grateful, and suck it up. My older sister even had a name for complainers: windy whiners. So naturally, I became a "suck it up" leader. What followed was a distrust cycle I didn't see coming, and then an overcorrection that cost me something different. This episode is about both mistakes, what I learned from each, and how I finally found the balance between high warmth and high expectations.
TAKEAWAYS
- Your leadership default isn't your personality. It's the emotional blueprint you inherited as a kid.
- Silence isn't peace. When people don't feel safe bringing problems forward, you don't get fewer problems. You get late ones, with excuses attached.
- Empathy without accountability isn't kindness. It's just a different kind of letting people down. The overcorrection is its own failure.
- The ARC Method breaks the cycle. Ask what people actually need. Respect what you hear. Connect it to real action and real standards.
THIS WEEK'S GOOD VIBE TO GO
The WNBA season starts this weekend and it is going to be a great, historic one. Catch yourself up by watching this video. I'll be cheering for the Chicago Sky. 🏀
CONNECT WITH ME
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about rape kit reform in all 50 states, tactile museum tours making history accessible, San Antonio recognizing trans communities, and more! Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
13 min - Playing or Competing?
Summary
This winter, my pickleball game fell apart. I wasn't feeling low — I was still showing up — but I had quietly shifted from playing to competing. Focused on the outcome, the ranking, the score. The fun left. The pressure filled the space. I had pickleball burnout. In a hobby. And it turned out to be a signal about something much bigger than my backhand. In this episode, I share how I got my mojo back — and why the shift from playing to competing is one of the quietest, most damaging things that happens to leaders and their teams.
Takeaways
- The mojo leaves before the metrics do. Disengagement is quiet. People are still showing up. But something has left — and the signal comes long before anyone names it.
- Self-imposed pressure is sneaky. I never felt low. I just stopped having fun. That's exactly how it shows up for leaders and their teams too.
- Playful inclusive leadership requires actually playing. Process over outcome. Curiosity over scorecard. Joy as a feature, not a reward for hitting your numbers.
- The question isn't whether your people are showing up. It's whether they're still in it. That's the check-in worth having this week.
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about gaming careers opening for autistic talent, Maryland restoring voting access during reentry, and blood donation rules expanding in New Zealand, and more!
Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
8 min - A Million Times Lighter
I used to feel like I had to be serious to be taken seriously. The imposter syndrome was real. And it landed on top of something older: a scarcity mindset I inherited from my immigrant parents. Together, those two things made me heavy, desperate, and honestly, not very fun to be around. In this episode, I share what I noticed, what I changed, and why making play my word of the year turned out to be the best leadership decision I ever made.
Takeaways
- Scarcity shows up in your leadership: The wiring we inherit doesn't disappear when we start a business or step into a leadership role. It shows up in every decision we make, until we notice it.
- Performing credibility blocks connection: When I was trying so hard to be taken seriously, I stopped being present. And presence is the whole game in inclusive leadership.
- Play is a leadership strategy: Pickleball, improv, Dungeons and Dragons. These weren't distractions from my work. They were the thing that made my work work.
- The ARC starts with presence: Before you can ask better questions and genuinely connect with people different from you, you have to actually show up. Not a managed version of you. You.
Connect with Me
- The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about making birthdays sensory safe, tearing down financial barriers for people with disabilities, and how one native nation became the first to lead their own superfund cleanup — and more!
- Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
- Work with Me: Let's talk.
- Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
10 min - Good Intentions
I got yelled at this week. I was volunteering, handing out bags of essentials to people experiencing homelessness near the expressway off-ramps by my house. I was moving in traffic, so I tossed instead of handed. The bag fell. And I got an earful.
This episode is about what happens when good intentions skip the most important step. And what it actually means when someone trusts you enough to tell you the truth.
Takeaways
- The Ask is not optional. Skipping it is how good intentions go sideways, at work, at home, and apparently on expressway off-ramps.
- Being redirected is a sign of trust. Most people say nothing. When someone speaks up, even loudly, that's psychological safety in action.
- The ARC Method® works everywhere. Ask. Respect. Connect. It's deceptively simple. And when you skip a step, the whole arc falls.
- Heart in the right place isn't always enough. Dignified delivery matters as much as good intention.
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about a Minecraft library fighting censorship, playgrounds for kids in war zones, a pilot making aviation history, and more. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
10 min - Flight
I got terrible customer service from someone in a membership role. Sixty seconds in, it felt personal. I was activated and I walked out the door. No escalation, no manager, no last word. Just flight. In this episode, I unpack what happened, why I'd do it the same way again, and what it taught me about the difference between defaulting and deciding.
Takeaways:
- Know your default: Fight, flight, freeze, fawn. We all have one. Most of us have never named it.
- Naming it is the work: You can't make a choice about a pattern you haven't identified.
- Flight isn't weakness: Sometimes protecting your peace is the most strategic move you can make.
- Default vs. decision: There's a meaningful difference between reacting from pattern and choosing deliberately.
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about knowing your default stress response and why flight over fight might be the most strategic choice you make all week. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
9 min - Covert Inclusion
I was on a sales call recently and felt that immediate recognition: this is a covert inclusion audience. In this episode she names a practice she's used for twenty years without ever labeling it, leading with her audience's motivation instead of leading with inclusion itself. From wedding industry rooms to corporate sales teams, the content stays the same. The door changes. And everything works better.
Takeaways:
- The door problem: When inclusion stalls, it's often not a values problem. It's a communication problem. We're leading with the wrong entry point.
- Covert inclusion in action: Leading with audience motivation, whether that's revenue, client relationships, or not fumbling in front of someone different from you, is not a compromise. It's strategy.
- The ARC Method applied: Ask what your audience already cares about. Respect that motivation. Connect it to the inclusion work that follows.
- The practice: Before your next inclusion conversation, find the door your audience is already standing in front of. Lead there first.
Connect with Me
The Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about disability history finally having a home, a VR lab closing the healthcare skills gap, guaranteed income changing real lives — and more. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
Work with Me: Let's talk.
Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
13 min - Going First
I recently sat in a room of strangers — different backgrounds, different everything — and within an hour we were sharing grief and shame. Heavy stuff for a Saturday morning. But here's what I keep relearning: connection doesn't require similarity. It requires honesty. And somebody has to go first. In this week's Good Vibes Leadership, that's the thread — what happens when you're willing to go first, whether that's in a living room or a boardroom.
Takeaways
- Going first changes the room: The person who says the tough true thing sets the tone for everyone else.
- Honesty over sameness: You don't need common ground to connect — you need courage.
- Your Challenge: Think about the rooms you're in this week. Will you be willing to go first?
Good Vibes to Go: Check out the comedy of ALOK — they're on tour and genuinely hilarious. One of our own team members is driving from Chicago to Grand Rapids just to see them. That's a good vibe.
Connect with Me
- The Newsletter: This week I wrote about student dignity in Philadelphia schools, Jake Adicoff making Paralympic history, NYC's new LGBTQIA+ Affairs office, Disney singing in sign language, and WNBA pay finally matching the talent. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.
- Work with Me: Let's talk.
- Watch 5 Things on YouTube.
Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/
11 min
About Good Vibes Leadership with Bernadette Smith
From the publisher's feed
Micro-lessons in playful, inclusive leadership.
Is leadership starting to feel like a chore? It’s time for a vibe check.
Hosted by Bernadette Smith, Good Vibes Leadership is your weekly shot of actionable positivity designed for leaders who want to build inclusive, high-performing cultures without burnout.
In each bite-sized episode, Bernadette ditches dense theory for actionable micro-lessons that help you lead with more joy, connect more authentically with your team, and create a world where everyone actually wants to show up.
Whether you have five minutes between meetings or a short commute, tune in for the stories, strategies, and "Yeah Baby!" energy you need to be the leader your people deserve.
Lead with joy. Build for everyone. Let’s get to work.