On the eve of the 1st anniversary of when COVID-19 was declared a pandemic, I mourn the loss of my best friend who lost his short-lived fight to it last month. I made this mix in an attempt to process my shock, my disbelief that years of talking to him every single day have been undone, and came to an indisputable irreversible end, in a matter of a week. He was my rock through thick and thin and I never imagined losing him this soon, at the young age of 36.

But I also made this for all of you out there who lost a dearly beloved, be it to any cause, foreseen or sudden. Much has been written about grief, but contending with it and living in a post-traumatic shock is something no one can prepare you for. Words escape me and I find myself in whirlwind of emotions that come in unpredictable waves. Emotions like anger, denial, sorrow, disbelief and regret. I go about my day feeling numb, aimless and dejected. I’m told time is a healer, but what if I don’t want to be healed? I’m scared of our memories fading into oblivion.

Maybe this mix will be a solace for all of us who grieve. It has the highs and lows, the ebbs and flows, the wave of emotions that come to define our experience living with such insurmountable loss.

And to Chris I whisper:

Goodbye, my friend; your journey has ended.

Goodbye, my friend; I don’t want to let go.

Our two souls are forever entwined.

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Tracklist

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03:54

08:25

08:40

10:31

14:46

15:23

19:39

20:17

25:33

27:48

32:57

36:30

37:22

38:24

43:50

46:11

50:00

53:00

55:16

56:30

60:16