Goop was a snooze again, so thank the gods for politics. Last night at the Democratic debates, goop's own Marianne Williamson stole the show and was immediately propelled into the lead, smiting all her rivals and basically moving right into the White House. We talk about her dubious anti-vax past, very dubious AIDS charity, and how she's going to harness love and win our democracy back. We also touch on the newsletters, discussing popcorn flavors, good posture, cancer prevention, crystals, and that ever elusive trip to Joshua Tree.

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We talk Gwyneth's sojourn to London, Chris and Dakota's possible split, and an ad sponsored engagement from a Goop employee. The newsletter is pretty sparse this week but we muddle through and discuss a summer detox fake out, how to avoid a stroke, Jean's clean lip baum, fantasy trips to France and Mexico, Bryan's rhodiola journey, and Aggie's new business. Join us at patreon.com/goopyourself, and if you want someone to talk sh*t about you ex with you, call HAG-CRY-8805. That's 424-279-8805.

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A lot is happening and we're talking about all of it! Meghan McCain doesn't approve of Gwyneth & Brad's living relationship, The Fellas' have a special (female) guest, and Goop goes all in on summer sandals. We also talk spiritual science, stretches for your fascia, who's ruining San Francisco, high waisted jeans and crop tops, and some *very* intimate Letters from Daddy.

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Today we celebrate the launch of Goop Men, Gwyneth's viral Pepper Pot moment, Brad's Brentwood house listing and more! The newsletters touch on a traumatized woman who can see dead people, more GoopFella nonsense starring our favorite chiropractor, some fancy sweaters, and another week of the big Goop sale. Enjoy!

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We catch up on Gwyneth news and admit to some questionable recent food choices before going over the newest newsletters. We talk Elise's closet upgrade, spiritual business tuneups, the Sakara ladies' morning routines, a new busy girl summer cleanse, and an update on all the latest Goop sales.

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We recap all the best moments of In Goop Health, the biannual extravaganza that we were again not invited to. We'll also briefly discuss the new hellscape our ears were subjected to this week - you know what we're talking about. Then the newsletters: sex toys endorsed by Goop's resident scientist, a 40% sale on everything from sugar bowls to underwear, Gwyenth's pre-Met Gala routine with her Céline stylist, Aggie's plans to dye her hair herself, and Bryan's search for a new face moisturizer. 

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It's Apple Martin's 15th birthday! How are you celebrating? We recap all the Instagram festivities and discuss a goop contributor's possible royal wedding before getting into the newsletters. This week the fine women and men at Goop HQ teach us about helping women experiencing homelessness, 3D printed jewelry, the martial art of wellness, an OG functional doctor's new book, The Power Source sleep tips, a summer packing list, a cool white skirt, and some tropical beach balm. Feliz Quinceanera!

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We discuss Gwyneth's Met Ball look, Blythe's Alzheimer's movie, and some upcoming Goop events before getting into this week's bonkers newsletters. There's exercise tips for cancer patients, more mineral sunscreen nonsense, the Falchuk cult's pleasure principle, mouth microbiome, inclusive yoga, podcast bras, pasture raised ghee, and a recap of Goop's Smoky Mountain retreat.

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We discuss Gwyneth's reign as the Queen of the Avengers (skip to 4:30 to avoid spoilers,) her Mayor Pete controversy, that NYTimes article comparing Jack Dorsey to GP, our review of Goop's Knock Me Out chews, and Burger King's co-opting of self-care culture. Then we dive into this week's bleak newsletters: the rollout of the new G-Tox Malachite crystal cleansers, a new line of DoubleJ apparel, a horrible story about cancer and psychics, service worker harassment by a Goop copywriter, three generations of French beauty editors, and new skincare videos by three up and coming Goop ingenues.   

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We discuss Gwyneth's newest role (no spoilers, but we do talk Avengers for the first 8 minutes) and her love for presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg before getting into Goop's Mother's Day newsletters. They include a searing personal letter to an abusive dead mom, pink pants, sunscreen misinformation, Gwyneth's controversial premiere look, bucket bags, weighted blankets, plastic boat shoes, and more discussion of the pelvic floor. 

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