Have you ever experienced "the ick"?

It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their hat, a hobby or even the way they laugh.

Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question - what causes it? 

To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick - why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.

You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

This episode first aired in March 2025.

Guests:

MichaelaSingle and ick-prone

Adam HorvathClinical Psychologist at Personal Psychology

Professor Gery Karantzas, PhDCouples therapistDirector, Science of Adult Relationships laboratoryDeakin University

Credits:

• Presenter/producer: Sana Qadar
• Senior producer: James Bullen
• Producer: Rose Kerr
• Sound engineers: Tegan Nicholls and Michael Grossman

You can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here.

More information:

The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds