Ladies, We Need To Talk

Ever stayed quiet to keep the peace? As girls we're told to "play nice" and not rock the boat.

But author Amy Remeikis reckons being nice comes at a cost. When she was assaulted on a Brisbane street in her 20s, she was shocked by how many people passed by without helping. It made her question how a culture of civility makes us reluctant to intervene.

Amy has been "contrary" throughout her career covering politics. For her, telling it like it is trumps being liked. She wants others to follow her lead. To stop being "nice" and start being decent.

More information:

Screw Nice is published by Hachette Australia.

This episode will answer questions like:

• How are girls conditioned to be nice?
• Are there consequences for women who aren't nice?
• Are there advantages to refusing to be nice?
• Why is Amy Remeikis refusing to be nice?
• Is there a cost to being nice?
• Can you ever be too nice?

What to listen to next:

Ultra-thinness is back: how to talk about our bodies — ABC listen

What to read next:

Heroin chic is back. Here's how to talk to your kids about it — ABC News

This episode contains references to assault, sexism, civility, bystander effect, niceness, politeness and journalism.

Celebrities and everyday women are shrinking before our eyes. So how do we have conversations about our bodies when they're the source of renewed scrutiny?

Yumi Stynes sits down with Olympic gold medallist Libby Trickett, journalist Demi Lynch and psychologist Janet Lowndes to discuss why thinness is becoming the cultural norm again and how we can push back against this narrative.

They unpack the rise of GLP-1 weight loss drugs, the impact of social media and how to talk to your kids about body image when their role models keep getting thinner.

This episode will answer questions like:

• Should we talk about people's bodies?
• How can we talk about bodies without critiquing them?
• What is diet culture?
• How can I avoid looking at ultra-thin bodies?
• Are GLP-1 affecting diet culture?
• Is anti-fatness on the rise?
• What is FATernise?
• Why are celebrities getting thinner? 

What to listen to next:

"No one really talked about it:" Myf Warhurst on menopause and her ADHD diagnosis — ABC listen

What to read next:

The secret to happy long-term relationships — ABC News

This episode contains references to thinness, weight, diet culture, GLP-1, eating disorders, social media and fatness.

Getting an ADHD diagnosis while going through perimenopause helped explain the quiet bubbling rage and feelings of inadequacy that Myf Warhust had been dealing with her whole life.

Discovering she had ADHD mid-life has been life changing for Myf but like so many women, she questions why it took so long to be diagnosed in the first place.

She's channelled those feelings into her new book, Middle Rage where she explores the bullsh*t women have been experiencing for a millennia.

Yumi Stynes sits down with the Spicks and Specks team captain for a candid conversation about this new era of her life, one that's free of dating apps, managers and men who send her dick pics.

More information:

Middle Rage is published by Hachette Australia.

This episode will answer questions like:

• How does menopause affect women?
• Can menopause affect ADHD?
• Why didn’t people talk about menopause?
• Why are women getting diagnosed with ADHD later in life?
• Why did Myf Warhurst write Middle Rage?
• Is Myf Warhust still on Spicks and Specks?
• What is Myf Warhurst doing now?
• Is Myf Warhurst a feminist? 

What to listen to next:

The secrets to a happy relationship (they're not what you think) — ABC listen

What to read next:

The secret to happy long-term relationships — ABC News

This episode contains references to Myf Warhurst, rage, misogyny, menopause, perimenopause, ADHD and Eurovision.

What's the key to a long-lasting, happy relationship?

Grand gestures and date nights might cause a momentary flare, but successful couples know there's more to it than that.

How do they fight, divide the load, and keep their intimacy hot when life gets busy and deeply unsexy?

Yumi Stynes speaks to women about how they found love that's stable, healthy and fun. And clinical psychologist Ms Gemma Cribb talks through the foundations that all happy couples build their relationships on. You'll be surprised!

This episode will answer questions like:

• Can you be happy in a long-term relationship?
• What makes a relationship last?
• How can you support your partner?
• How do I know if my partner's happy?

What to listen to next:

Our bodies, our choice. But are abortion rights under threat? — ABC listen

What to read next:

The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News

This episode contains references to relationships, partners, marriage, intimacy, children and mental load.

What does free speech mean if women can't afford to defend it? And what happens when the law meant to protect reputations is used to silence women speaking out about alleged sexual violence?

Jennifer Robinson is one of the world's most recognisable human rights lawyers. She's represented actress Amber Heard, whose trial became the stuff of fierce public debate and trial by media.

Now Jennifer's fighting to change that, by challenging a legal system that can be weaponised to silence survivors of gendered violence.

More information:

How many more women? Is published by Allen and Unwin

This episode will answer questions like:

• Who is Jennifer Robinson?
• Why did Amber Heard testify in the UK defamation trial?
• What are the allegations against Johnny Depp?
• What happened to Brittany Higgins?
• What is the Stop the SLAPP Alliance?

What to listen to next:

Our bodies, our choice. But are abortion rights under threat? — ABC listen

What to read next:

The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News

This episode contains references to defamation, Brittany Higgins, Lisa Wilkinson, Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

Sex parties without creepy dudes? Forget keys in a bowl and seedy nightclubs: women are flipping the stereotype and creating sexy playgrounds on their own terms.

Fifteen years into her marriage, Fliss, a Sydney mum of two, stepped into the sex party scene, and now she hosts her own women-focused events with vetting calls and references.

Therapist and volunteer 'consent angel' Lotus who monitors partygoers safety explains what's changed in recent years, and PhD researcher Amelia looks at what play means at queer sex parties.

On Ladies We Need to Talk, Yumi Stynes steps inside the scene, where consent is non-negotiable, to find out why more women feel safe exploring desire, body image and juggling it all with kids.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What is a sex party?
• Who goes to sex parties?
• What is a consent angel?
• Who runs sex parties?
• What do people do at sex parties?
• How do you keep sex parties safe?
• Is it cheating to attend a sex party?

What to listen to next:

Why tradwife content is so seductive — ABC listen

What to read next:

The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News

This episode contains references to sex, relationships, intimacy, sex parties and consent.

From making bubble gum by hand to tranquil depictions of motherhood, why is the tradwife fantasy so appealing and why can't we look away?

During the pandemic, tradwives like Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman from Ballerina Farm dominated our algorithms. They baked perfectly scored sourdough loaves in spotless kitchens and made cereal for their toddlers from scratch.

These women depict an enviable, calm lifestyle that very few women can attain.

While some influencers reject the label of tradwife, their content taps into a powerful fantasy that has drawn millions of women to watch, even if we have no plans or desire to ever live that way.

Yumi Stynes is joined by Professor Heejung Chung to unpack the tradwife phenomenon and the real-world impacts that come with the promotion of "traditional" gendered ideals.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What is a tradwife?
• Where did the tradwife movement come from?
• How do tradwives afford the lifestyle?
• Do tradwives have their own money?
• Are men looking for a tradwife?
• Do tradwives have to be submissive?
• Is Nara Smith a tradwife?

What to listen to next:

"I'm actually gay": My husband's best kept secret — ABC listen

What to read next:

The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News

This episode contains references to tradwives, traditional lifestyles, Ballerina Farm, Nara Smith, Yesteryear and Hannah Neeleman.

An "I do" between husband and wife comes with many promises, not least of which is to be truthful. 

So what do you do when your husband comes out as gay? For some women, it's a revelation that up-ends decades of marriage, family and identity.

Can these relationships survive? And if they don't, how do you move beyond the hurt and build a new life?

Yumi Stynes speaks to women who learned their husbands were gay after years of marriage and shared lives.

This episode will answer questions like:

• How can I talk to my husband about his sexuality?
• How can I tell if my husband is gay?
• Can I ask my husband if he is gay?
• If my husband watches gay porn, is he gay?
• Where can I find support?

More information:

Women Partners | Free Counselling & Support for Women in NSW is a NSW based service but offers free resources nationwide

What to listen to next:

Quiet Quitting Marriage: Why Women Are Emotionally Checking Out — ABC listen

What to read next:

The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News

This episode contains references to divorce, coming out, sexuality, gender identity, same-sex attraction and homosexuality.

Abortion is legal across Australia, but safe, affordable access is still not guaranteed for everyone.

While three quarters of Australians support abortion access, finding a GP who will help is a postcode lottery.

And the fallout from the 2022 reversal of Roe v Wade is being felt in Australia, with US-inspired protests and political tactics entering the fray.

Yumi sits down with GP Dr Keersten Fitzgerald to learn about the roadblocks to getting an abortion, and talks to historian Dr Prudence Flowers about the recent push to limit abortion in Australia.

Other resources:

If you're in Victoria, My options runs a free sexual and reproductive health service help line.

In NSW, Search Plus is a new tool operated by Family planning to help with reproductive or sexual health services.

Pink Elephant is a national service available on 1300 726 306 run by PANDA.

This episode will answer questions like:

• When can I have an abortion in Australia?
• When can I have an abortion?
• What is a medical abortion?
• How do you get an abortion?
• Is abortion legal in Australia?
• Why do people get an abortion?

What to listen to next:

Quiet Quitting Marriage: Why Women Are Emotionally Checking Out — ABC listenWhat you don't know about the mental load with Leah Ruppanner — ABC listen

What to read next:

The women 'quietly quitting' their marriages — ABC News

This episode contains references to healthcare, abortion, reproductive rights, surgical abortion, medical abortion and termination.

Instead of dealing with the upheaval of divorce, some women are quietly quitting their role as wife.

Physically, they're there, going through the motions, but emotionally they've checked out. There's no huge conflict, but there's also no urge to try to make things work.

Yumi Stynes talks to women who have taken a step back from their marriages but aren't ready to officially split. They're staying for the sake of the kids, to save money or are biding their time, waiting for the right moment to leave.

And clinical psychologist Dr Cassandra Shields unpacks the reasons some women quietly quit their marriages, and the toll it takes to live separately under the one roof.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What does quiet quitting a relationship look like?
• Is quiet quitting a marriage like a divorce?
• Is my marriage headed for a divorce?
• If someone's quiet quitting, is the relationship over?

What to listen to next:

"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together

What to read next:

Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children

This episode contains references to separation, quiet quitting, divorce, burnt out pursuer and mental load.