Unrelenting standards, high expectations and a fierce, reprimanding inner critic. Perfectionism is often celebrated, but striving for flawlessness comes at a cost. There’s lots of ways we, as women feel pressure to be perfect: be the perfect partner, the perfect mother, have the perfect body. But, of course, perfectionism is always out of reach. So, how can we learn to be kinder to ourselves and let go, even just a little?  

Yumi Stynes meets women whose perfectionism has consumed their lives. She learns what happens when a perfectionist f*cks up, and how to recover. Plus, clinical psychologist Eileen Seah shares tips on how we can all accept our imperfect selves.  

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Anxious? We got you

Penny Moodie’s OCD

This episode contains references to perfectionism, procrastination, anxiety, depression, relationships, parenting, striving, IVF, fertility, career, eating disorders, self-criticism, psychology, therapy. 

Hannah Diviney never saw herself reflected in pop culture. And she definitely didn't see herself as the object of desire. Growing up with cerebral palsy, Hannah watched on as rom-coms and teen dramas depicted able-bodied bombshells fall in love, snog their guts out and have sex. All these experiences, it seemed, were out of reach for her. It meant that Hannah had the demanding job of being her own role model. She had to be the change she wanted to see.

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Sex and the D word

Your sex and disability stories

This episode contains references to: dating, relationships, disability, sex, sex scenes, television, entertainment industry, fear, anxiety, body image, Beyonce, Lizzo, Latecomers. 

Have you ever experienced 'the ick'? It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their flat cap, the way they chew, or how they laugh.

Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question — what causes it?

To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick — why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.

This episode comes from our science friends at All in the Mind.

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Quitting men: Hope Woodard's 'boysober' movement

Hannah Ferguson's case against hookup sex

This episode contains references to: dating, relationships, evolutionary psychology, disgust, break up, situationship, love, conflict, couples.

'Bounce back' culture can find someone else to pick on, we're celebrating bodies who've given birth.

And this episode isn't just for the mums. It's for everyone who's ever felt the bod they were given this earth to roam in isn't good enough.

Yumi Stynes meets women who've fought the insidious pressures on mums' bodies and found a new appreciation for themselves.

Featuring: burns survivor and author Turia Pitt, founder of the Australian Birth Stories podcast Sophie Walker, body image researcher Dr Zali Yager and mum of two Tegan Russell.

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Body Image

Birth trauma

Love your boobs

This episode contains references to: body image, eating disorders, birth, baby, motherhood, parenting, stretch marks, weight gain, weight loss, bounce back, diet, diet culture, children, self love. 

Emotional labour is the overlooked cousin of the mental load. It's managing the feelings of people around us, from being a shoulder to cry on to cheering on your colleagues. Taking the time to check in on relatives and making sure the fridge is stocked with everyone's favourite foods. Emotional labour is invisible yet vital work that falls more heavily on women.

Journalist Rose Hackman reckons it's time women are recognised, and even compensated for this emotional output. Rose chats to Yumi Stynes about how this form of labour underpins our homes, relationships and workplaces, and how we can be more selective about where we put our efforts.

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Solving the mental load

Beating burnout

This episode contains references to: gender roles, parenting, motherhood, orgasm gap, sex, mental load, caring, fatigue, burnout.

Welcome to the world of swingers, where the libidos are high but so are the stakes. Join Yumi Stynes as she heads to a swinger's club and learns what it takes to open up a relationship without breaking trust. Meet the women in the swinging scene and find out what they get out of it (besides the orgasms).

This episode will change the way you think about swinging, and maybe even re-frame your approach to intimacy. (R)

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What we need men to know about sex

How to have great sex

This episode contains references to: sex, swinging, intimacy, couples, marriage, open relationships, LGBT, threesome, unicorns communication.

When Jamila Rizvi was dealing with the emotional sucker punch of a brain tumour diagnosis, she needed a friend who understood what she was going through. Enter, writer and comedian Rosie Waterland. Rosie knows what it's like to live with a broken brain. A childhood marked by abuse and trauma has left her struggling with complex PTSD throughout her adulthood.

Rosie and Jamila have very different illnesses but lots in common. They chat with Yumi Stynes about how the world views physical and mental illness differently, the lasagne sympathy scale and keeping on keeping on when there's no cure in sight.

Please note, this episode contains discussion of suicide.

Listen back:

Jamila Rizvi—when life doesn’t go to plan

Rosie Waterland's mum died. She’s kind of relieved

Helpful links:

Lifeline 13 11 14

Brain Tumour Alliance Australia

SANE Australia

This episode contains references to: chronic illness, brain tumour, depression, PTSD, trauma, relationships, grief, loss, carer, caring, mental health and suicide.

Does your partner feel more like a housemate than a lover? Have you lost your spark in the overflowing laundry basket? Resentment got you snarking at each other? Get yourself to the relationship ER! If things are flatlining and you want your partnership to survive, there are treatment options.

Yumi Stynes meets women who have brought their relationships back from the dead. Plus, sex and relationships therapist, Toya Ricci shares advice on how to build healthier, long-lasting connections.

This episode contains references to: sex therapy, relationship therapy, marriage difficulty, marriage sabbatical, relationship sabbatical, intermission, infidelity, couples counselling, parenting, mental load, mental health.

A morning phone call from her doctor confirmed Jessie Tu's worst fears. She'd lost the baby she was carrying. Jessie and her partner had tried for months to get pregnant, and the news sparked a specific kind of grief she hadn't encountered before.

The daughter of Taiwanese immigrants, Jessie was raised with the idea that discipline and hard work gets you results. But this was a test she couldn't ace.

Jessie's path to pregnancy and loss made her confront questions about what it means to be a family and the sacrifices that mothers are expected to bear.

She shares her complicated relationship with fertility in this tender conversation with Yumi Stynes.

Jessie Tu is the author of The Honeyeater and A Lonely Girl is a Dangerous Thing.

Helpful links:

Miscarriage Australia

The Pink Elephants Support network

Gidget Foundation

Red Nose Grief and Loss

Lifeline

This episode contains references to: pregnancy loss, miscarriage, fertility, parenting, relationships, babies, grief, family, motherhood, womanhood, feminism, mental health.

Fillers, Botox, and injectables — they're everywhere! There was a time when getting needles in your face was a big deal. But these days, getting a 'tweakment' is as easy-peasy as getting a mani pedi.

It's not just 69-year-old Kris Jenner who looks like a teenager now. Your hairdresser, barista, and the mums at the school gate are doing a Benjamin Button.

In this episode, Yumi Stynes chats to women who have regular cosmetic jabs to find out their motivations. Plus, Dr Jasmine Fardouly from the University of Sydney explains how Instagram is pushing us towards the clinics.

This episode contains references to: Botox, filler, tweakments, cosmetic procedures, facials, beauty industry, ageing, old, beauty standards, filter, Instagram, Tiktok, social media, body image.