Ladies, We Need To Talk

What's the key to a long-lasting, happy relationship?

Grand gestures and date nights might cause a momentary flare, but successful couples know there's more to it than that.

How do they fight, divide the load, and keep their intimacy hot when life gets busy and deeply unsexy?

Yumi Stynes speaks to women about how they found love that's stable, healthy and fun. And clinical psychologist Ms Gemma Cribb talks through the foundations that all happy couples build their relationships on. You'll be surprised!

This episode will answer questions like:

• Can you be happy in a long-term relationship?
• What makes a relationship last?
• How can you support your partner?
• How do I know if my partner's happy?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to relationships, partners, marriage, intimacy, children and mental load.

What does free speech mean if women can't afford to defend it? And what happens when the law meant to protect reputations is used to silence women speaking out about alleged sexual violence?

Jennifer Robinson is one of the world's most recognisable human rights lawyers. She's represented actress Amber Heard, whose trial became the stuff of fierce public debate and trial by media.

Now Jennifer's fighting to change that, by challenging a legal system that can be weaponised to silence survivors of gendered violence.

More information:

How many more women? Is published by Allen and Unwin

This episode will answer questions like:

• Who is Jennifer Robinson?
• Why did Amber Heard testify in the UK defamation trial?
• What are the allegations against Johnny Depp?
• What happened to Brittany Higgins?
• What is the Stop the SLAPP Alliance?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to defamation, Brittany Higgins, Lisa Wilkinson, Amber Heard and Johnny Depp.

Sex parties without creepy dudes? Forget keys in a bowl and seedy nightclubs: women are flipping the stereotype and creating sexy playgrounds on their own terms.

Fifteen years into her marriage, Fliss, a Sydney mum of two, stepped into the sex party scene, and now she hosts her own women-focused events with vetting calls and references.

Therapist and volunteer 'consent angel' Lotus who monitors partygoers safety explains what's changed in recent years, and PhD researcher Amelia looks at what play means at queer sex parties.

On Ladies We Need to Talk, Yumi Stynes steps inside the scene, where consent is non-negotiable, to find out why more women feel safe exploring desire, body image and juggling it all with kids.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What is a sex party?
• Who goes to sex parties?
• What is a consent angel?
• Who runs sex parties?
• What do people do at sex parties?
• How do you keep sex parties safe?
• Is it cheating to attend a sex party?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to sex, relationships, intimacy, sex parties and consent.

From making bubble gum by hand to tranquil depictions of motherhood, why is the tradwife fantasy so appealing and why can't we look away?

During the pandemic, tradwives like Nara Smith and Hannah Neeleman from Ballerina Farm dominated our algorithms. They baked perfectly scored sourdough loaves in spotless kitchens and made cereal for their toddlers from scratch.

These women depict an enviable, calm lifestyle that very few women can attain.

While some influencers reject the label of tradwife, their content taps into a powerful fantasy that has drawn millions of women to watch, even if we have no plans or desire to ever live that way.

Yumi Stynes is joined by Professor Heejung Chung to unpack the tradwife phenomenon and the real-world impacts that come with the promotion of "traditional" gendered ideals.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What is a tradwife?
• Where did the tradwife movement come from?
• How do tradwives afford the lifestyle?
• Do tradwives have their own money?
• Are men looking for a tradwife?
• Do tradwives have to be submissive?
• Is Nara Smith a tradwife?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to tradwives, traditional lifestyles, Ballerina Farm, Nara Smith, Yesteryear and Hannah Neeleman.

An "I do" between husband and wife comes with many promises, not least of which is to be truthful. 

So what do you do when your husband comes out as gay? For some women, it's a revelation that up-ends decades of marriage, family and identity.

Can these relationships survive? And if they don't, how do you move beyond the hurt and build a new life?

Yumi Stynes speaks to women who learned their husbands were gay after years of marriage and shared lives.

This episode will answer questions like:

• How can I talk to my husband about his sexuality?
• How can I tell if my husband is gay?
• Can I ask my husband if he is gay?
• If my husband watches gay porn, is he gay?
• Where can I find support?

More information:

Women Partners | Free Counselling & Support for Women in NSW is a NSW based service but offers free resources nationwide

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to divorce, coming out, sexuality, gender identity, same-sex attraction and homosexuality.

Abortion is legal across Australia, but safe, affordable access is still not guaranteed for everyone.

While three quarters of Australians support abortion access, finding a GP who will help is a postcode lottery.

And the fallout from the 2022 reversal of Roe v Wade is being felt in Australia, with US-inspired protests and political tactics entering the fray.

Yumi sits down with GP Dr Keersten Fitzgerald to learn about the roadblocks to getting an abortion, and talks to historian Dr Prudence Flowers about the recent push to limit abortion in Australia.

Other resources:

If you're in Victoria, My options runs a free sexual and reproductive health service help line.

In NSW, Search Plus is a new tool operated by Family planning to help with reproductive or sexual health services.

Pink Elephant is a national service available on 1300 726 306 run by PANDA.

This episode will answer questions like:

• When can I have an abortion in Australia?
• When can I have an abortion?
• What is a medical abortion?
• How do you get an abortion?
• Is abortion legal in Australia?
• Why do people get an abortion?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to healthcare, abortion, reproductive rights, surgical abortion, medical abortion and termination.

Instead of dealing with the upheaval of divorce, some women are quietly quitting their role as wife.

Physically, they're there, going through the motions, but emotionally they've checked out. There's no huge conflict, but there's also no urge to try to make things work.

Yumi Stynes talks to women who have taken a step back from their marriages but aren't ready to officially split. They're staying for the sake of the kids, to save money or are biding their time, waiting for the right moment to leave.

And clinical psychologist Dr Cassandra Shields unpacks the reasons some women quietly quit their marriages, and the toll it takes to live separately under the one roof.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What does quiet quitting a relationship look like?
• Is quiet quitting a marriage like a divorce?
• Is my marriage headed for a divorce?
• If someone's quiet quitting, is the relationship over?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to separation, quiet quitting, divorce, burnt out pursuer and mental load.

We've been talking about the mental load for decades, so why are so many women still carrying it?

It's the unseen mental and emotional work we do to keep our lives running — the planning, problem-solving, and remembering that often goes unnoticed.

The term isn't new, but our understanding of it is changing. Yumi is joined by sociologist Leah Ruppanner, who interviewed thousands of women as part of a research project to develop tools to help manage and lighten your mental load.

As part of this research, Leah's developed a simple online quiz that breaks the mental load into eight categories, helping you see where your energy is going and how you might redistribute it.

Further information

Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More is published by Penguin Random House

This episode will answer questions like:

• What is the mental load?
• How can I reduce the mental load?
• How does carrying the load impact women?
• How can I share the mental load?
• What are the eight categories of the mental load

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to the mental load, housework, invisible labour, emotional labour, parenting, emotional responsibility.

Having children is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things we can do. But what if you wish you'd never become a parent?

For mothers especially, the taboo of admitting they regret their children can be incredibly lonely. Many carry their grief, loss of identity and exhaustion in silence.

Yumi Stynes gets a rare window into the lives of people who love their children but admit that if they could go back in time, they'd make a different choice.

Featured in this episode:

• Ella Reed, sociologist at Monash University researching maternal regret 

This episode will answer questions like:  

• What does it feel like to regret having kids?
• Why do some parents regret having children?
• Where do you get help if you’re struggling as a parent?
• How does regretting children impact a romantic relationship?
• Why is maternal regret so taboo? 

What to listen to next:

"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together

Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon

The grief no parent expects

What to read next:

This episode contains references to motherhood, parenting, mothering, regret, anxiety, depression, suffering, family, mental load, support, relationships, romance.

There’s a special kind of fury reserved for the 'other woman.' She’s often depicted as a home wrecker and immoral, but is she misunderstood? Unlucky to fall for someone who’s already taken?   

Yumi Stynes speaks with women whose hearts belong to married men and discovers that beneath the stereotypes are complicated love stories built on hope and promises in the face of deception.    

Psychologist Liz Neal also explains what forbidden love does to the brain and why it can be so enticing. (R). 

This episode will answer questions like: 

• What’s it like to be the other woman?
• How do people hide affairs from their partners?
• Why do people have affairs?
• Where does the ‘seductive mistress’ trope come from? 

What to listen to next:

"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together

Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon

The grief no parent expects

What to read next:

These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names

Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children

This episode contains references to cheating, infidelity, sex, relationships, marriage, women, the other woman.