An "I do" between husband and wife comes with many promises, not least of which is to be truthful. 

So what do you do when your husband comes out as gay? For some women, it's a revelation that up-ends decades of marriage, family and identity.

Can these relationships survive? And if they don't, how do you move beyond the hurt and build a new life?

Yumi Stynes speaks to women who learned their husbands were gay after years of marriage and shared lives.

This episode will answer questions like:

• How can I talk to my husband about his sexuality?
• How can I tell if my husband is gay?
• Can I ask my husband if he is gay?
• If my husband watches gay porn, is he gay?
• Where can I find support?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to divorce, coming out, sexuality, gender identity, same-sex attraction and homosexuality.

Abortion is legal across Australia, but safe, affordable access is still not guaranteed for everyone.

While three quarters of Australians support abortion access, finding a GP who will help is a postcode lottery.

And the fallout from the 2022 reversal of Roe v Wade is being felt in Australia, with US-inspired protests and political tactics entering the fray.

Yumi sits down with GP Dr Keersten Fitzgerald to learn about the roadblocks to getting an abortion, and talks to historian Dr Prudence Flowers about the recent push to limit abortion in Australia.

Other resources:

If you're in Victoria, My options runs a free sexual and reproductive health service help line.

In NSW, Search Plus is a new tool operated by Family planning to help with reproductive or sexual health services.

Pink Elephant is a national service available on 1300 726 306 run by PANDA.

This episode will answer questions like:

• When can I have an abortion in Australia?
• When can I have an abortion?
• What is a medical abortion?
• How do you get an abortion?
• Is abortion legal in Australia?
• Why do people get an abortion?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to healthcare, abortion, reproductive rights, surgical abortion, medical abortion and termination.

Instead of dealing with the upheaval of divorce, some women are quietly quitting their role as wife.

Physically, they're there, going through the motions, but emotionally they've checked out. There's no huge conflict, but there's also no urge to try to make things work.

Yumi Stynes talks to women who have taken a step back from their marriages but aren't ready to officially split. They're staying for the sake of the kids, to save money or are biding their time, waiting for the right moment to leave.

And clinical psychologist Dr Cassandra Shields unpacks the reasons some women quietly quit their marriages, and the toll it takes to live separately under the one roof.

This episode will answer questions like:

• What does quiet quitting a relationship look like?
• Is quiet quitting a marriage like a divorce?
• Is my marriage headed for a divorce?
• If someone's quiet quitting, is the relationship over?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to separation, quiet quitting, divorce, burnt out pursuer and mental load.

We've been talking about the mental load for decades, so why are so many women still carrying it?

It's the unseen mental and emotional work we do to keep our lives running — the planning, problem-solving, and remembering that often goes unnoticed.

The term isn't new, but our understanding of it is changing. Yumi is joined by sociologist Leah Ruppanner, who interviewed thousands of women as part of a research project to develop tools to help manage and lighten your mental load.

As part of this research, Leah's developed a simple online quiz that breaks the mental load into eight categories, helping you see where your energy is going and how you might redistribute it.

Further information

Drained: Reduce Your Mental Load to Do Less and Be More is published by Penguin Random House

This episode will answer questions like:

• What is the mental load?
• How can I reduce the mental load?
• How does carrying the load impact women?
• How can I share the mental load?
• What are the eight categories of the mental load

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to the mental load, housework, invisible labour, emotional labour, parenting, emotional responsibility.

Having children is one of the most rewarding and meaningful things we can do. But what if you wish you'd never become a parent?

For mothers especially, the taboo of admitting they regret their children can be incredibly lonely. Many carry their grief, loss of identity and exhaustion in silence.

Yumi Stynes gets a rare window into the lives of people who love their children but admit that if they could go back in time, they'd make a different choice.

Featured in this episode:

• Ella Reed, sociologist at Monash University researching maternal regret 

This episode will answer questions like:  

• What does it feel like to regret having kids?
• Why do some parents regret having children?
• Where do you get help if you’re struggling as a parent?
• How does regretting children impact a romantic relationship?
• Why is maternal regret so taboo? 

What to listen to next:

"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together

Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon

The grief no parent expects

What to read next:

This episode contains references to motherhood, parenting, mothering, regret, anxiety, depression, suffering, family, mental load, support, relationships, romance.

There’s a special kind of fury reserved for the 'other woman.' She’s often depicted as a home wrecker and immoral, but is she misunderstood? Unlucky to fall for someone who’s already taken?   

Yumi Stynes speaks with women whose hearts belong to married men and discovers that beneath the stereotypes are complicated love stories built on hope and promises in the face of deception.    

Psychologist Liz Neal also explains what forbidden love does to the brain and why it can be so enticing. (R). 

This episode will answer questions like: 

• What’s it like to be the other woman?
• How do people hide affairs from their partners?
• Why do people have affairs?
• Where does the ‘seductive mistress’ trope come from? 

What to listen to next:

"Traded a husband for a bestie" Why these mums moved in together

Worst ever dates, with Alita Brydon

The grief no parent expects

What to read next:

These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names

Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children

This episode contains references to cheating, infidelity, sex, relationships, marriage, women, the other woman.  

Have you ever fantasised about raising kids with your bestie? Well, some women are doing it for real. And these mum communes or ‘mummunes’ don’t look like your average share house.  

These women are sharing a roof, chores, bills and the mental load of raising their kids. For some, it’s the antidote to a nuclear family structure that left them drained and resentful. For others, it’s a handy, albeit overcrowded solution to the struggles of single motherhood. 

Yumi Stynes speaks to women who are rewriting the rules of motherhood and finds out what there is to gain when you challenge the status quo.  

This episode will answer questions like: 

• Can you raise children with your best friend?
• Should you raise children with a romantic partner?
• Why do women feel burnt out as wives and mothers?
• Has the nuclear family become outdated for women?
• Do you need men to raise kids?
• What are the challenges of raising kids with your best friend?
• How do communal living arrangements deal with money?
• How does dating work in a mummune?
• Why do women initiate household and child care more than men? 

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children

This episode contains references to child care, parenting, mothering, single mum, alternative family structures, romantic partner, heterosexuality, patriarchy, mommune, mummune, commune, shared living, alternative living, community, individualism, village.

It’s truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in the modern world has endured at least one truly disastrous date. It is, regrettably, a rite of passage. 

Author Alita Bryson has been on hundreds of them! One guy asked her if it was okay to marry your cousin, another trolled people online for fun while yet another literally drove off mid-date. 

While her dating life was catastrophic, Alita realised it made great fodder for entertainment and so she started the Instagram page Bad Dates of Melbourne, publishing anonymous submissions of terrible dates so that women could take comfort in each other’s suffering (and laugh at each other’s misfortune).  

Alita has some sage advice for anyone out there brave enough to date. 

Further information: How to date like a dangerous woman is published by HarperCollins. 

This episode will answer questions like: 

• How can I meet someone new?
• Is it ok to ghost someone?
• Should I pay for dinner on a date?
• Can I leave a date if I don’t like the other person?
• How can I meet a potential date safely? 

What to listen to next:

Jess Mauboy steps into her boss lady era 

What to read next:

Empty-nesters on how they 'fill the void' left by children

Why these women have never had a partner

These grieving mothers want you to say their babies' names

This episode contains references to Bad Dates of Melbourne, dating, dating apps, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, relationships, sex, orgies, orgasms and how to date like a dangerous woman. 

At some point in life, we all lose someone we love. But losing a baby is an unimaginable heartbreak. Our children are not meant to die before us.

In the wake of that loss, families are left reeling. Navigating shock, confusion, and overwhelming grief as they face a future without a much-loved child.

Yumi Stynes meets two women who have experienced infant loss. They share how they moved through their grief, how they celebrate their babies, and how people in their life stepped up- or stepped away.

And registered psychologist, Rachel Ficinus explains how grief can be ongoing and the strategies to help you and your loved ones navigate a life-changing loss.

If you need help:

• Red Nose Australia offers counselling and support for anyone affected by the loss of a pregnancy, stillbirth, death of a baby or child. Their phone number is 1300 308 307
• Lifeline on 131 114
• Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 

This episode will answer questions like:

• How do I deal with grief when a loved one dies?
• Who can I talk to when my child dies?
• What should I say to someone who's child has died?
• How can I help someone who's grieving?
• Where can I find support after I lose my child?
• Does grief have an end point?

What to listen to next:

What to read next:

This episode contains references to grief, child loss, infant death, bereavement and Red Nose Australia, organ donation, DonateLife.

One in three Australian women describe their births as traumatic.

Long labours, health scares, emergency interventions, feeling ignored, and lasting physical and psychological injuries can turn what's meant to be one of life's biggest moments into something deeply distressing.

Yumi Stynes hears from women still coming to terms with their birth experiences, sometimes years later, and finds out what can be done to prevent traumatic births. (R).

Featured in this episode:

• Dr Jessica Caudwell-Hall, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, Nepean Hospital.
• Sophie Carroll, Pelvic Health Physiotherapist, Enlighten Health Collective.
• With special thanks to Amy Dawes at Birth Trauma Australia.

If you need help:

• Perinatal Wellbeing Centre: (02) 6288 1936
• PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia): 1300 187 263
• Beyond Blue: 1300 224 636
• Lifeline: 13 11 14
• Birth Trauma Australia organisation