This "New Year, New You" mentality can be framed in such a way that makes it seem motivating, uplifting and encouraging. There's nothing inherently bad about setting a New Year's resolution, but it depends on where it's coming from. You see,  things can get problematic when you're doing it from a place of pressure or obligation. When you feel like you have to come up with New Year's resolutions to hop on the bandwagon like everyone else. The stress and disappointment we sometimes place ourselves can be counterproductive, creating unnecessary stress and possibly making things worse.

Instead, remember that you can start anytime you want. You don't need an obligatory day to tell you when you need to start your journey. And keep the focus on yourself. Nothing will be gained by comparing yourself to anyone else because they are not you and you are not them. If you choose to compare at all, compare yourself to yourself in a temporal fashion with no hard-set goals in mind. The journey towards an elusive goal is every bit as important as the destination. Therefore, don't allow yourself to be  driven by achieving a certain goal, rather decide to be driven first and foremost by the kind of life you want to live: your lifestyle. 

See if you can be a bit gentler with yourself or give yourself this same kind of grace that you might give to someone that you really love or care about who's in a similarly challenging situation. And, if you insist on resolving to do something, do this: go easy on yourself, be your own benchmark for success. And think about the kind of lifestyle you want to live. Happy New Year.

We all lead busy lives and often use our limited time as an excuse to procrastinate and avoid making plans with others or getting things done in our own lives. But, when it really boils down to it, this is idea that you are "too busy" or "don't have time" is a lie. It's a lie we tell others, but sometimes more importantly, yourself. It helps you believe that you'll never be able to forge any new relationships, start a new project, or get anything done for that matter...and that is a problem, a big problem. 

Therefore, instead of saying "I'm too busy" or "I don't have time", replace it by saying "it's not a priority," and really see how that feels. To be completely honest, it may not feel good at first because you are admitting to yourself and someone else, possibly, that whatever it is, isn't a priority to you. These changing mindset and attitude most likely won't sit well with you, and that's the point. Changing your language reminds you that time is a choice. If you don't like how you're spending an hour, you can choose differently.

It's truly a simple idea, and a great one at that! Our language is often used to be polite and respond with non-confrontational answers because the   truth might be hard to hear. Sometimes you may even subject yourself to more polite language and end up in situations that you do NOT want to be in. You have to remember that how you use and spend your time is very important because time is a finite resource and shouldn't be wasted. 

Don't risk putting it to poor use by not allowing yourself to be honest with yourself and others about your priorities in life. Alter your language and you may just discover what's most important.

So many people think of the holidays as a time solely for getting presents. Stores advertise holiday times as being a time for shopping rather than the sacredness of family time at the holidays. This is tearing apart dinner tables and causing millions to spend this magical season worrying about getting gifts and making sure they don’t disappoint someone in their lives if they don’t get them something spectacular.

When you take away the interaction, the experiences, and the irreplaceable moments during the holidays and replace it with disposable items, ultimately it destroys the memories. So many conversations and memories are being abandoned because we are more focused on buying gifts, taking advantage of sales, and all other consumer-based mentalities.

Instead, we need to bring back the importance of being with family, friends, and loved ones and canceling out any distracting factors during the holidays that can be focused around buying gifts that it creates unnecessary added pressure. That’s not what this time of year is about. It’s about enjoying the moments, the unforgettable experiences that you can have with the people you care most about, however that may look.

This year pay attention to the things that are most important: the love, the gratitude, and that thankfulness.

Society loves to put each and every one of us in a category. It’s easier for them to create infighting, divide us into groups, and keep us from mobilizing as one cohesive unit. And to be honest, they do a pretty good job of that at times, but now more than ever, it has to stop.

But, to carry out this critical endeavor, it’s going to take a concerted effort by all of us to understand that we are NOT monolithic beings, meaning we are NOT just one thing. We don’t have to have one opinion, one quality, or a single perspective and be defined by JUST that. For example, it’s okay to be fiscally conservative and socially liberal. It’s okay to be anti-racism and support the good cops who truly protect and serve with EVERYONES best interests at heart. And, it’s okay to celebrate accomplishments and success in your life and also hold space for all the tragedies, injustices, and inequalities facing our country right now.

We are all dynamic individuals with the capacity and intelligence to zoom out and see the bigger picture, but we can get caught up in the possible judgmental rhetoric of others. That mindset can no longer be your guiding force because it doesn’t serve the greater good of humanity. Coming to this realization is how, as a collective, we can create meaningful change and replace old, antiquated ideas with new, more progressive ones.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Remember, the powers that be want us to label everyone else based on one idea or construct, but we know deep down in our hearts, that this thought process isn’t how we move forward. We know that each one of us offers something unique, something special, something that can’t be put put into one category. The sooner we recognize this power within us, the sooner we can come together as one and change the world.

Fun should be a top priority. It shouldn’t be relegated to the bottom drawer, the one you open only when all the real work is done. It’s not a distraction or a diversion. There are a million things that you can do that are harmless and fun.

But, having fun is up to you. It’s free and healthy and important. What are we all on this planet for if not to enjoy the ride? 

Therefore, always remember to have fun. Be silly. Make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes, but continue to trust your heart, follow your passions, and commit to being you, no matter what. I strongly believe that everyone deserves to enjoy life, to be themselves, and to express this in a way that makes them happy.

Now go do something unproductive! All you have to remember? Enjoy every second of it.

Worries, doubts, and anxieties are a normal part of life. It’s natural to worry about an unpaid bill, an upcoming job interview, or a first date. But “normal” worry becomes excessive when it’s persistent and uncontrollable. You worry every day about “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios, you can’t get anxious thoughts out of your head, and it interferes with your daily life.

The act of worrying and worrying and worrying ends up being a huge waste of energy. 

If you think about it, it makes you suffer before you even know if there is any actual reason to suffer. It doubles the pain if something happens you don't like. And it may cause you to over prepare for bad outcomes when you don't really need to. To be honest, it just doesn't feel good. 

Worry or anxiety are fancy words for fear that something you want won't work out. The negatives of worry far outweigh any positives. Even if something bad is likely to happen, there is NO POINT in suffering before it happens.

Spiritual bypassing is a "tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks".

While it can be a way to protect the self from harm or to promote harmony between people, it doesn't actually resolve the issue. Instead, it merely glosses over a problem, leaving it to fester without any true resolution.

You cannot pick and choose which emotions you experience. Life cannot be good thoughts, feelings, and emotions alone. In order to experience the highs, you must also endure the lows.

Don't be too hard on yourself for mistakes. Growth is a process and it's easy to fall into old habits, especially when you are trying to cope with something difficult. Spirituality can be a positive force in your life and many spiritual practices can be excellent stress management tools. By actively avoiding spiritual bypassing, you can make spirituality a practice that will help you live a more harmonious and fulfilling life.

"We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” – Rick Warren

The past is a strange thing. Despite it literally being behind you, it can always seem to be present. Even when you work hard to focus on you future or whats ahead, it may seem like you have one eye turned forever toward the things that “were”. This over focus on the past will force you to miss out on the present. 

Therefore, you have to learn to leg go of the past, which will enable you re-engage with the root of your authentic self. You will come to terms with the the depth of your needs and take steps to realize them.  And, if you want to stop living in the past, you have to be proactive about taking action, and be very clear about what you want from your life. Then and only then can you free yourself from the past and become the person you were always meant to be.

Letting go of the past is never an easy process because nothing worth is ever a "walk in the park. But, it becomes that much easier when you take the time to educate yourself on things like trauma and how they impact your body for months and years to come. It's time to start prioritizing yourself and your right to a happy and peaceful future away from the shadows of your past. It’s time for you to free yourself and reconnect with your joy.

How can you feel pure happiness if you’re not being your unique self? You’re the only person who can give meaning and significance to your life, so live it without regrets. Take chances. Have fun. Be silly. Make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes, but continue to trust your heart, follow your passions, and commit to being you, no matter what.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

I strongly believe that everyone deserves to enjoy life, to be themselves, and to express this in a way that makes them happy. Never ever be ashamed of who you are, especially if what you do, say, and believe isn’t hurting anybody. Instead, let your self-confidence and your zest for life to radiate. This is a non-negotiable when you want to live unapologetically.

Because, regardless of how you live your life, people will still find a way to point fingers, make judgments, and assume things about you. Don’t let that bother you. Why should anyone else’s opinions matter to you? They shouldn’t. Are you happy? Are you living your life to the fullest? If the answer is yes, then that’s what’s most important. All those other people’s judgments and opinions are a reflection of themselves. So, let them deal with that and keep doing you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

It may take some time to truly learn to be comfortable in your own skin, but to be unapologetically you is to own all of you. Accept your strengths and weaknesses, dreams and desires, fears, and everything else that makes you unique. Always stand firm in understanding that although you may be imperfect, you are a work in progress with infinite potential.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Have the courage to reveal who you are. Embrace it all. And you will allow yourself to be you, unapologetically.