You know nostalgia isn’t what it used to be

But then neither am I

Neither am I

I used to think about it in my hidden room

I was out of your sight

Out of my mind

That ship has sailed away

On the sea of regret and the ocean of hate

Was there a better way

Perhaps we could have preyed

For all the angels we lost on the way

If the Earth turned more than this

We’d be aligned

With the ether redesigned

We’d never turn out to be so far from love

We used to lie

And watch the stars arrive

With one removed at birth

Would I still be lying there

Still be Lying there

Still be lying there

Would I still be holding you

If the Earth turned more than this

We’d be aligned

With the ether redesigned

We’d never turn out to be so far from love

The suits might have changed but the nightmare remains as I wake up

Reflection betrays the few hopes I retained

Am I still alive?

I’m weighing up the costs between

Filling My belly and warming my bones

What do you think?

Who do you see?

Someone who you think you never will be

Grey skin wrinkled by the winds of years that blew right past me

Only old men miss old men these days

The cold is alive

An acquaintance I now know so well

A creature they made

To devour the voice I once had

Devour the voice that I once had

Only old men miss old men

“Who the hell are Rush?

It’s just a t shirt after all.”

“Who the hell are Rush?

It’s just a t shirt after all”

After all so,

I’m weighing up the costs between

Filling My belly and warming my bones

What do you think?

Who do you see?

Someone who you think you never will be

Grey skin wrinkled by the winds of years that blew right past me

Only old men miss old men these days

The cold is alive

An acquaintance I now know so well

A creature they made

To devour the voice I once had

Devour the voice that I once had

Take a look at me and wonder when

Take a look at me and wonder when I’ll reach the end

The suits might have changed

But the nightmare still remains

Feed my belly

Warm my bones tonight

Born the day before the World Cup Final

66

You thought you were destined for great things

You thought

The rare “I like you”

Seeping out while in the bedroom

Illustrates my real conundrum

Why I’m still around you

I’m half alive then

Half unsure that I’m dying

Cos there’s nothing I rely on

When I’m left around you

Don’t call Desiree

You’ve really got the better of the 10 percent that’s still me

Don’t call Desiree

You’ll only perforate the outer shell that still contains me

Don’t come around

Don’t come around

Don’t call Desiree

Fast Forward 55 years

What have you accomplished?

Nothing much

Just blame it on Desiree

She caught me out

With no more energy to progress

Will she ever start to process

That we’re being used we are

She’s underneath

And that is where she wants to hear

All the voices that surround me

Telling me to speak to her

Don’t call Desiree

You’ve really got the better of the 10 percent that’s still me

Don’t call Desiree

You’ll only perforate the outer shell that still contains me

Don’t come around

Don’t come around

Don’t call Desiree

Sick of Putin and various other arseholes in the world, so decided to try and channel some feel-good songs I like. “Stuart”, “Guy” and “Simon” being the respective singers in Big Country (In a big Country), Elbow (One day like this) and Boo Radleys (Wake up Boo).

Lyrics:

Stuart reminds us that we’ll see the sun in wintertime

Growing those flowers in the desert is not sensible

Although you’re gone your voice still echoes cross the room

Still a believer that there’s good inside of you

You know it’s true

C’est Bon

C’est Bon

C’est Bon

It is

Guy liked to tell us that it’s looking like a lovely day

Throwing those curtains really wide will make you visible

You really knew just what it’s like to be a gun

Weaponised words that fire forwards just for fun

You know it’s wrong

C’est Bon

C’est Bon

C’est Bon

It is

Simon says we can’t be blamed for all the bad things

Simon says we can’t be blamed

We can’t be blamed

For Something ending

More and more you come to recognise this thing resilience

More and more you come to recognise that you’re stronger than everyone thought you were

C’est Bon

C’est Bon

C’est Bon

It is

In these dark days, I'm privileged enough to be able to escape to places like Ingleby Incline, which many people from Teesside know well. It an interesting place which was once an industrial focus for Iron ore mining, but all that is now gone, leaving rural ghosts from the past. A brief history is here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rosedale_Railway

Ironically, when I visited to take the photograph for this Soundcloud page, I heard many military jets rehearsing for a performance I hope never happens.

Lyrics:

What they say about the town I live in

It’s easy to drive yourself

Out to the Incline

When I’ve had enough of cold concrete streets

I just head due south to dream

I am only turning seventeen

I’m like my father

I take things to heart

So I take myself off to that place in my mind

I’m like my father

I take things apart

And I’m never quite able to put them back right

Tell myself I’ll travel in time at the Incline

Lungs are screaming “Yes, you’re alive” as I climb

The Incline

As I climb I taste the sweat on my lips

And I think of forgotten lives

Slaves to the Incline

Families living at the top of the Moor

Working their hands to bone

Guiding down the heavy iron ore

I’m like my father

I take things to heart

So I take myself off to that place in my mind

I’m like my father

I take things apart

And I’m never quite able to put them back right

Tell myself I’ll travel in time at the Incline

Lungs are screaming “Yes, you’re alive” as I climb

The Incline

No longer they dwell

Gone are the men

Men of The Incline

This story’s untold

On this lonely Moor

New is The Incline

Once was standing

Now he’s done

Staring at the far horizon

Once was gleaming

Now he’s rust

Time has scarred him to a thin crust

Soon to dust

You’re not important

You are just like everybody

You’re petrified just like the rest of us

You are a man

With rusted eyes that keep on searching

As waves are breaking through your outer layer

Until the tide recedes and you’re not there

Once he saw a setting sun

Shining beams on water dancing

Just for him

You’re not important

You are just like everybody

You’re petrified just like the rest of us

You are a man

With rusted eyes that keep on searching

As waves are breaking through your outer layer

One day the tide recedes and you’re not there

You are a man

With rusted eyes that keep on searching

But there’s nothing in the mind of a man

Made of iron

You are a man

With rusted eyes that keep on searching

But there’s nothing in the mind of a man

Made of iron

The beach forgets

With every single tide

The beach forgets

Every single

Every single time

Still he stares

Once was standing

Now he’s done

Don’t go swimming in the lake this Summer

They don’t know how pure the water is that wets your lips

Don’t be first to skate on ice this Winter

They don’t know how fragile is the skin you’re cutting in

The greatest danger

Is never to risk anything at all

Share your dreams with others and you’ll fall and never surface

You laugh too much and risk appearing a fool

You fight too hard and risk the breaking of a rule

Thanks for slowing our recovery

Don’t go rolling up your sleeve for freedom

They don’t know what risks there are - you could be paralysed

The greatest danger

Is never to risk anything at all

Share your dreams with others and you’ll fall and never surface

You laugh too much and risk appearing a fool

You fight too hard and risk the breaking of a rule

Thanks for slowing our recovery

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it like their Earl Grey

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it like their Merlot

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it like their Earl Grey

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it

They don’t know what’s in it like their Guacamole

Mascarpone

To give your love and not be loved

Sometimes the bad things you lose outweigh the good things you lose, and vice versa. We all wrestle with this over time.

We were born to move the world

To challenge the old

We did conspire to crush all of the liars

We’d never be told

Oh no

But it’s all behind us now

I've made peace with my past

With the memories I've lost

With the memories I’ve got

I’ll never fit neatly in that little box

That is tied with a bow

Oh no

Cos it’s all behind me now that I’m just looking forwards

The sun is left behind me

All I see is

All I see is

All I see is shadows in my way

To make me pause

To stray me from the course

I miss the summer sun that used to light up your face

The smiles you gave so freely are now just gone without trace

Oh no

But it’s all behind me

Now that I’m just looking more to the future.

The sun is left behind me

All I see is

All I see is

All I see is shadows in my way

To make me pause

To stray me from the course

But that is not what a man’s supposed to do

Sat around in the house just feeling blue

Cos it’s all behind me

All behind me

All behind me now

But that is not what a man’s supposed to do

Sat around in the house just feeling blue

Cos it’s all behind you

All behind you

All behind it’s true

You know you just shouldn’t waste it

Sat around getting wasted

Cos It’s all behind you

All behind you

All behind you now

I enjoyed the series "Midnight Mass" on Netflix and was really impressed by the long monologues the actors performed, especially the Priest's sermons, which were scary and uplifting at the same time!

The greatest story ever told

Is rolling off the tongue of beelzibub

The man who stands before you all

I never meant for this to be

But on this night we’ll go down in history

Before the sun will rise again

Keep away

Keep away

Cos I’m not myself

I’m not myself

Keep away

Keep away

Cos it’s all going wrong

It’s all going wrong

Eternal life

Second chance

Tangible

Like the ground beneath our feet

Mysteries

Word of God

Jesus sees you in the dark

See the light

See the light

Hold the hand that dealt you all your blows

I’m calling for my angel now

It’s time you recognised what he did for you

To make us feel so young again

If you turn around you’ll know his face

Behold the Angel in the Aisle

Keep away

Keep away

Cos I’m not myself

I’m not myself

Keep away

Keep away

Cos I need your blood

I need your blood

Eternal life

Second chance

Tangible

Like the ground beneath our feet

Mysteries

Word of God

Jesus sees you in the dark

See the light

See the light

Hold the hand that dealt you all your

And we return to dust

Remember you are dust

We wear it on our foreheads as a cross

See her taking all the busy routes

Or try to find a way that’s new

Ready to pretend she takes a phone call

Hear a whistle from a passing wolf

Will the braking lights be coming on?

Scanning her surroundings for a camera

If she’s smiles at the things

That you’re shouting out

It doesn’t mean

That she’s putting out

It’s a smile that’s designed to bide time for her latest escape

Living in a world of fear

In her head

Don’t turn around

There’s a cigarette she wears away now

Breathing out the holes she falls down

Don’t turn around

There’s a cigarette she wears away now

Breathing out the holes she falls down

Don’t turn around

"You're too pretty not to smile"

"Stick around just for a while"

"Just cheer up"

"I like the way you look"

"It might never happen after all"

Do you know who’s responsible? (For all this mess)

It’s my brother

My father

And my silence