In this raw and vulnerable episode of Grief Left Behind, we speak the words so many grieving parents silently carry: the ache of surviving the unimaginable. This is not about wanting to die — it’s about the crushing weight of continuing to live without the child you love. We reflect on what trauma does to a parent left behind, the guilt, the longing, and the quiet bravery it takes to stay. We also honor Ethan, a remarkable young man, and his brave mother who reminded us last week just how powerful love and truth can be.

If you’ve ever felt like no one truly understands — this one’s for you.

In this powerful episode of Grief Left Behind, we honor the life and legacy of Ethan—a U.S. Marine, a beloved son, a big brother, and a bright light extinguished far too soon.

Born a fighter at just 1 lb 15 oz, Ethan defied every odd from the very beginning. He grew into a kind, loyal, and driven young man with a heart for service. Becoming a Marine was his dream, and he poured everything he had into it—training with discipline, graduating with pride, and always showing up with a quiet strength and that unforgettable smirk.

In this emotional interview, his mother Mejia shares the raw and beautiful truth of who Ethan was—his courage, his joy, the love he gave so freely, and how she’s learning to breathe again without her son.

This is not just Ethan’s story. It’s a mother’s vow. It’s a family’s heartbreak. And it’s a call to remember, to love fiercely, and to speak the names of the children we’ve lost.

For Ethan. For Mejia. For all the warriors left behind.

They say suicide ends pain—but it doesn’t. It transfers it.
To the mothers, the siblings, the friends left behind—grieving, questioning,breaking in ways no one sees.

This episode is raw. It’s heavy. It’s honest.
It’s for anyone carrying the weight of a loss that shattered everything.
We talk about the trauma, the silence, the guilt, and the love that doesn’t die—because someone has to.

And if you’re listening…
Let this be the reason you stay.

"What Grief Has Become” isn’t just about losing a child—it’s about the quiet, consuming ache of any kind of loss. This episode is for anyone who is grieving… a person, a relationship, a future, a version of themselves. Grief doesn’t fit in a box, and here, it doesn’t have to. Your pain is valid. Your story matters. And you don’t have to face it alone.

In a single moment, everything changed.
What followed was silence, sirens, and a heartbreak I never knew was possible.
This podcast is my way of speaking through the silence, of honoring his life, and of helping others survive the unthinkable.

In this deeply personal and unfiltered first full episode of Grief Left Behind, Kalah opens her heart to share the story of her son, Eli — a vibrant, kind, funny, and creative 12-year-old boy whose life was cut tragically short by suicide.

This is where grief began. But more importantly, this is where Eli’s story lives on.

Through raw memories and aching truths, Kalah paints a portrait of the boy the world should have known — not just the way he died, but the way he lived. His laughter, his quirks, his heart. This episode is a tribute, a heartbreak, and a beginning — because before we can talk about grief, we have to talk about the love that came first.

Trigger Warning: This episode includes discussion of child loss, suicide, and trauma. Please listen with care.

Grief Left Behind is a raw, honest podcast for parents navigating life after the unimaginable—the loss of a child to suicide. Created by Kalah Ballance in honor of her 12-year-old son, Eli, this space is for grieving families, compassionate friends, and anyone who dares to sit in the darkness and speak the truth of child loss.

This isn’t a place for toxic positivity or easy answers. It’s a place for truth-telling, name-speaking, and soul-aching honesty. Each episode explores the real and often unspoken realities of grief—sibling sorrow, birthdays that hurt, organ donation, faith, anger, advocacy, and what it means to carry love forward in a world that no longer makes sense.

If you’ve lost a child or love someone who has, you are not alone. Here, your story matters. Your child matters. And your voice is always welcome.

Interested in being a guest?Message us or find us on Facebook: Grief Left Behind

Let’s walk this path together. One story at a time.