Grieve That Sh!t

This year for mother's day, we're not gonna talk about the joy of being a mother. We're gonna talk about the pain of being a mother. The pain of being a mother to a daughter, the pain of being a mother to multiple daughters, the pain of conflict that comes along with being in a relationship with your daughter this year were gonna take on a tough subject for mother's day.

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Neutral not helping or supporting either side in the conflict. That's the adjective neutral, the noun, an impartial or unbiased person. Neutral can also be a color. What is getting to neutral in your grief? Erica and I often help grievers get to neutral. In the middle, not having an emotional reaction or emotional feeling one way or the other you're just there. You're just in a neutral state where prior to that state, you had a ton of emotions going on.

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Betrayal in your marriage could be a betrayal in a relationship. All of a sudden you discover sexual betrayal and suddenly you're plunged into loss and grief at such a deep level that you never knew could even happen.  There are so many layers to betrayal and they can go so deep.

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The Sister's breakdown the Will and Jada Smith dynamic.  Specifically how the challenges in their marriage is a grieving experience.  When there's pain in your heart that is a grieving experience.  A struggling marriage can cause extreme pain in the heart.  It's important to acknowledge this pain and to find a path towards healing.     www.healingstartswiththeheart.com

The Sister's discuss the infamous Will Smith/Chis Rock slap.  They break it down into grief components such as childhood trauma, infidelity, change in health and bullying.  Although there were a lot of different options on who was right and who was wrong, the one thing that was not up for debate is the pain all who were involved experienced.     www.healingstartswiththeheart.com

This is not a compliment for a griever.  When a griever loses a loved one they are in survival mode.  They were not given the choice to prevent their loss from occurring, yet they still have to perform the activities of daily living.  In general, grievers are on auto-pilot when they experience a loss, when they are told how strong they are it is not because they want to be it's because they have to function.  

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It is not uncommon for families to fight during a grieving experience.  Grief is unique and individual to the griever and every griever is struggling with the individual relationship they had with the loved one that has passed away.  Everyone should be given the space to grieve the way that they need to and should not be told how to grieve.  Emotions show up for everyone in a different way.

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Every griever has the experience when they lose a loved one or even a less than loved one that their brain automatically starts reviewing the relationship.  We spend time looking at everything we wish we would've done different, better or more.  The griever automatically identifies the feeling the are having as guilt for all the things left unsaid and the the things left undone.  It's not guilt, but regret the griever is left with and this can add another layer to the grief and the pain in our hearts.

www.healingstartswiththeheart.com