Grieve That Sh!t

When people experience the death of a loved one, they may feel that their world has come to an end. This can lead them into feelings such as anger and depression which are all very common in those going through grief though it's important not just for yourself but also other friends or family members who love you dearly when dealing with these tough moments

-It’s normal at times feeling angry because your whole life changed right before your eyes - Some might say "I'm coping well" however what this really means maybe more along lines.

The loss of a person does not give you the right to be mean. Human decency and respect for others still apply, even if it's difficult sometimes.

Hey, if you’ve been feeling down lately and need someone to talk too - our Facebook Support Group for women is open! We can help.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hope.heal.recover

No Pill Can Fix This

Grief can be uncomfortable, but it's important to remember that your grief is specific and personal. You might feel self-conscious or think you're not "doing it right" when there are no rules for how somebody should grieve - just as with any other life event! The best thing we could do during these moments of discomfort would probably lie on letting go so we don't get caught up worrying about what other people say instead thinking only about ourselves

Grief, like any other emotion is personal. We all have our own way of dealing with it and feeling uncomfortable in the process but there’s nothing wrong if you're not "doing" anything right because this feels incredibly authentic to who we are as individuals - even though sometimes hard for others around us (or ourselves)

Hey, if you’ve been feeling down lately and need someone to talk too - our Facebook Support Group for women is open! We can help.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hope.heal.recover

Dolores is a beautiful soul with an amazing story of grief and healing. Thank you friend for sharing your life with us. More importantly thank you for sharing your healing journey with us.  Join the sisters as they sit in awe with Dolores as she shares her beautiful healing grief journey.

www.BellaHW.org

Don’t you hate it when someone says, “I know how you feel” or you come across experts who haven’t met with you privately but are ready to diagnose or “fix” you and your grief. This ain’t that and that ain't this.

The Need:

Need — require (something) because it is essential or very important rather than just desirable.  The need feels like you will not make it through this pain if you do not have the desired object near you.

In grief there are things that we do because we need them as part of our healing process.  It is not uncommon for us to wear his favorite shirt for 30 days straight.  Because I need to feel his presence in my heart.

VS

The Want

Want — have a desire to possess or do (something); wish for.  I want this shirt.  I have found memories of him in this shirt.

Over time these needs even if they are strange to you. (i.e., not wanting to clean out their hairbrush) will slowly turn into wants.  I want to place his shirt under my pillow as it comforts me.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hope.heal.recover

In the beginning we can feel responsible for what has happened. 

My thoughts: “I should have been there.”

Now add on the fact that we do not know how to do this grieving thing. 

My Thoughts: “I don’t Know how to grieve.”

My friend these are your thoughts.  Trust me when I tell you that your thoughts are controlling this grieving process by sending you into areas of pain that you do not need to be hanging out in.

As humans, it is our privilege to think about what we are thinking about. We must learn that our thoughts, not our circumstances, create our feelings.

That our feelings are the most important thing to know and pay attention to. When we are willing to feel all the grieving feelings available to us as humans, we will move around in this grieving experience that is much less fearful and much more compassionate.

As we are willing to pay attention, we will discover the power we all have. That power starts with our thoughts and ends with our results. ~ True healing.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/hope.heal.recover

We just shared this with a client this week because she is staying in bed longer than she ever has before. And it's worrying her husband. And she's been worried about it too because she's said she didn't want to get stuck in the debilitating depression. This exhaustion is so normal because grief consumes every fiber of your beam having to get out of bed, brush your teeth, make breakfast for your littles. This grief can make you feel the same amount of tiredness as if you would've run a full marathon because you are trying to live while grieving. And it's consuming every cell every chromosome trying to go to biology and remember the parts of the body. Every hair follicle grief is consuming every pour in your skin. It's   just  like you've been taken over by alien.

There's a lot of things that frustrate me, with being a Grief Specialist and working with grievers trying to help them through their grief.  We try to help them find their own personal path out and through it. But nothing frustrates me more sister dear then when I hear someone say, you will never get over this grief. You will never find an end to this pain. Grief never ends. You will feel this way for the rest of your life. That is so frustrating to me and to society that we buy into that BS because it is so not true. If anything was the number one lie that grievers are told it's that grief never ends. And I think that's why we struggle sometimes with clients that we meet prospective clients, when you, are doing a sales call and we are explaining the program and say that true healing is possible.  It's not they don't buy into the program because they think it's nice what we are doing.  It’s that they do not believe that they will ever heal from this pain.

I distinctly remember having a, a huge bowl of vanilla ice cream. Now that I think back on it, I probably was trying to eat away my pain. This was right after Austin had died and the very first spoonful of vanilla ice cream that I put in my mouth was, so sweet and so cool. And I could literally, it was like the vanilla bean were, jumping off my tongue and my taste buds. And I remember thinking, oh man, this is so good. And instantly right afterwards, feeling guilty that I was enjoying life for one minute. These were in the beginning stages of my grief for Austin. And when you, and I didn't know anything about grief, I had convinced myself that I was supposed to feel bad all the time. I was supposed to be in the grieving state all the time. And I didn't find out till much later that grief goes up and down that your emotions change, that you could literally enjoy something and still be grieving.