Breaking points - we all have them. But, there are ways you can ride the waves of it without getting pulled down by it.
Resiliency has its limits. And, when you've spent years, or even decades, mastering the myths of grief (Don't Feel Bad, Replace the Loss, Grieve Alone, Be Strong, Keep Busy, and Time Heals), resiliency will only get you so far before you reach a breaking point.
By creating rituals and routines, you create a system to help make better choices in your grief. Maybe it's going to the grocery store that doesn't serve alcohol. Or, paying at the pump rather than going inside and buying an obscene amount of lotto tickets or cigarettes. Whatever your vice is, there are systems (rituals and routines) you can devise that support your desire to take a break from the grind of grief. Because, when you resort to those vices or behaviors that make you feel better for a short period of time, you're left with feeling shame and guilt for having those vices at all. These feelings only add on more grief.
Focusing on feeling better without the use of substances or people and thinking outside the box by making small choices over time is how you create momentum. And with that momentum, you'll find a system that works, and over time, you'll find yourself naturally choosing differently for yourself and your well-being.
Emulating these behaviors for children who are grieving will leave a lasting impression and make a positive impact, too. We often hear children are resilient. In reality, children don't have a choice. Resiliency becomes a coping mechanism. And, because children grow up to be adults, too, it's easy to see how adult grievers are emulating exactly what they learned as children. And this cycle continues, generation after generation.
We have a choice to create rituals that serve us and those that don't. Both will give you a break from the grind of grief. But, which one would you rather fall back on? The one that only makes you feel worse or the one that truly helps you push pause, recalibrate, realign, and set you up to make better choices moving forward?
What does an ideal break from the grind of grief look like for you?
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This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.
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