If you’re new to the podcast, welcome. For businesses, I focus on helping entrepreneurs hit the trifecta of business building: 1) getting new customers, 2) serving existing customers better and 3) not going crazy in the process. Today’s show is about that third leg of the trifecta. 

In the last 48 hours or so Ohio State head football coach has encountered some major trouble regarding a longtime assistant coach on his staff who it seems habitually abused his wife. Ohio State has put the head coach, Urban Meyer, on paid leave while they investigate his role in hiring and keeping a known abuser. Just another case of seemingly low integrity behavior. 

Compromising morals, ethics and even legality can tempt any of us. Maybe high achievers more than most. The pressure to stay at the top is intense. I’m sure coach Meyer, who delivered one national championship to Ohio State was annually feeling the pressure to repeat the performance. I’m not excusing it, but I’m not naive enough to act like it can’t happen to you, or me. We can all fall prey to foolishness because these temptations can cause our compass to spin out of control. We lose our bearings when we surrender to poor behavior. Low integrity activities take a heavy toll. Coach Meyer may not survive this ordeal. 

From sexual misconduct to cooking the books, from illegal hiring practices to paying people in cash off the books…there are many paths to low integrity practices. Greed and ego provide much of the fuel. The proof is found in the powerful people who have suffered great falls, likely because they felt their power would prevent them from ever suffering for their foolishness. 

I could approach the topic from a conviction or faith perspective, but let’s just approach it from a practical, business viewpoint. Yes, I’m going to make a few simple assumptions. For starters, I assume you’re uninterested in breaking the law. Secondly, I assume you don’t find pleasure in living on the edge, wondering if the IRS or FBI or some other governmental agency is going to come knocking. 

Doing the right thing is always right. I’ll assume you agree with that, or you’re at least open to it. I hope so. For instance, a man who will cheat on his wife will certainly cheat me if I’m doing business with him. Yet so many people live as though they think a person is a “good” person, even when that person (in this case the cheating husband) does something “bad.” I’m not talking about perfect people because none of us are. But I am talking about people committed to good, decent, ethical and moral behavior. And I choose to think most of us prefer to live that way, even if we sometimes slip up. 

Rather than focus on the pain that our poor behavior might cause, let’s flip it around and focus on the wonderful benefits of behaving with the highest integrity. 

Weight loss advocates have long used a moniker that resonates with folks trying to drop some weight. “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.” There’s no debating that many (if not most) things that are bad for weight control (or loss) taste pretty terrific. But the saying emphasizes the longer term over the short-term. Go eat a bucket of your favorite ice cream and it’s pretty stinking wonderful. It just doesn’t last very long. But the 4,500 calories you consumed will remain with you long after your taste buds have been satisfied. So it is with low integrity versus high integrity behavior. The price is too high, and just not worth it. 

Urban Meyer can have just about any assistant coach he wants. Why tolerate having a man on your staff who beats his wife? Frienship? Loyalty? Why would a leader compromise his own integrity and put his own career at risk for such poor behavior?

Daily I see headlines (click bait) and posts declaring why high achievers aren’t like the rest of us. I don’t argue that high achiever, of whom I like I think I’m sometimes among, behave differently in some important, but perhaps subtle ways. But there are so many myths being foisted on us daily I felt compelled today to help you avoid feeling pressure to be somebody or something you’re not. 

We’re all prone to read headlines, but sometimes the content isn’t any better than the headline. We’re swamped with mythical facts.

Just this week I’ve seen things like these:

• 8 Ways Successful Entrepreneurs Are Different

• How The Strongest Leaders Do Twice As Much In Half The Time

• 4 Productivity Hacks Of Successful Entrepreneurs

You get the drift. You see the same headlines and articles I do. 

If we’re to believe the truths of all these we’d quickly find many of them are contradictory. Proving they can’t all be accurate. 

If you check out my about page and scroll to the bottom you’ll see my philosophy pretty simply stated…

But I’m not naive. I’ve known business owners who don’t care one thing about that first line, “Be honest.” While I’d love to make a declaration that dishonesty doesn’t pay, but it does. Crime alone proves it does. The illicit drug business is proof. The last comprehensive study done on the scope of the drug trade may have been done in 2003, when it was estimated that the drug trade is $320 billion annually. That was fifteen years ago! There have been some interesting data collected on the global drug trade, but suffice to say – it’s ginormous! And it’s anything but honest.

Here in north central Texas, we have roofing companies that descend like locusts when a hail storm moves through. Texas doesn’t require any certifications for roofing companies so any hack with a pickup truck can pose as one. Some are grossly incompetent. Others aren’t honest. So much for my second line, “Always be competent.”

As for giving more and making it right, well, you’ve encountered numerous customer experiences yourself to know how untrue that often is. My business philosophy is how I choose to do business. It’s my view of the world, or how it should be. But it’s not the only way of doing business. I happen to think it’s the right way. 

I know CEO’s who are staunch to do list people. They make lists and more lists. They’re high achievers who wouldn’t imagine doing business without a written list of what they need to accomplish. And I know other CEO’s, equally successful, who don’t write down anything. Tethering them to a to-do list would never work. 

Some CEO’s are outgoing, high energy and loud. Others are shy, downright bashful, introverted and so soft-spoken you have to lean forward to catch what they say. Both ilks can and often do achieve insane success. 

There just isn’t one way to climb the pinnacle of success or high achievement. Find somebody who does it one way, and I’ll find somebody doing it completely the opposite. 

So what’s the point?

The point is my encounter with some business owners who feel the pressure to comply and fit the mold. What with all the preaching about how it’s done I fear some business owners don’t embrace the value of forging their own path. It comes home to you when a business owner who tells you she’s not a morning person, and never has been, but she’s read so many things about early morning risers and success.

Werner Herzog plays a terrific villain in the movie, Jack Reacher.  His character survived a Siberian prison camp because he was willing to do what others weren’t. Here’s 2: 34-minute clip just in case you’re not familiar with the scene. 

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Business survival is largely based on determination. It’s why you hear me regularly encourage you with an optimistic statement, “You’ll figure it out.” And you will — if you’re dedicated to the effort. 

Not everybody is. 

No, this isn’t about your willingness to chew off your fingers, but it is about doing what you can to successfully face your fears. That may be one reason why many of us are pretty good at helping others with their challenges. We can clearly see how somebody else may be stuck, and even have great suggestions on ways to become unstuck. But we look at ourselves and we’re stymied. Fear isn’t part of our awareness about what others can do to conquer their problems. It’s a major player in our own problems though. 

It’s why our willingness to help each other is critical to helping us figure out what we’re willing to do to survive, and thrive. It helps to have a fearless perspective. 

Think harder about that scene from Jack Reacher. The guy seemingly can avoid being shot and killed if he’s willing to do something unthinkable. The villain doesn’t understand it. Your fingers for your life seems like an easy choice. When you’re not the one with the gun to your head. 

Desperation works. 

Some years ago I recalled an event with my daughter, who was about 3 years old at the time. I entitled it, How To Market Like You’ve Lost Your Daughter In The Mall. The point of that is not much different than today’s point. When one fear is greater than another we tend to take action. That’s what makes the Jack Reacher scene so disturbing and powerful. But we can all likely relate because the man is facing two terrible, fear-filled outcomes. Chewing his own fingers off. Being shot in the head. I’m sure he was wishing for a third, less gruesome choice. But he wasn’t offered one. Sometimes we’re not offered a more appealing choice either. 

When I lost my daughter in the mall, the fear of losing her overrode everything else. That moment of desperation created panic. Panic drove me to not care one little bit what anybody thought, what they may be saying about me, or anything else. I simply lost every bit of fear I may have otherwise had because the greater fear drove me. Fear of not finding my little girl. 

Do a mental exercise. The Jack Reacher villain is confronting you about the thing you most need to do, but you’re afraid. I don’t know what it is, but you do. Think of that one thing right now. The thing you most need to accomplish, but for some reason, you’re delaying, halting and hesitating. You’re afraid. And maybe you have no idea why you’re afraid. You don’t even know what you’re afraid of. You just don’t want to do it. You dread it. 

Got it?

Now, you’ve got this awful man with a scary accent challenging you to do it. He’s asking you, “What are you willing to do to survive?” By his side stands a man holding a pistol, poised to fire the moment the boss says. It’s the moment of truth for you. What are you going to do?

This is where I’ll turn the mirror on myself. As I watched this little clip – after watching the movie on TV – I thought about myself and my current big business goal of forming 2 groups of 7 SMB entrepreneurs. Within seconds I scribbled this down on a paper, “14 days to 7 people.

I thought about first diving into how to deliver criticism, but getting criticism is much more universal. Not all of us are prone to give it. All of us are experienced in getting it though. 

Here are 3 critical considerations:

* Who gives it. Do we respect this person? Do we trust them? Do they have honorable motives? Are they trying to be helpful or hurtful?

* How they give it. Is it caustic? Does it have any compassion in it? Is the timing appropriate? Is it more about them, and less about helping us?

* What they give. Do they accurately understand us? Are they being fair? Is it congruent with our strengths? Are they extending appropriate grace?

People who take action are going to be criticized. I grew up hearing folks offer this bit of wisdom. Only the people who do nothing avoid criticism. But that’s not really true because they get criticized for doing nothing. Life has taught me they likely receive less than those of us trying to accomplish something. Mostly because the folks doing nothing have time and opportunity to be part of the critical crowd. Mark it down…there are always going to be more people armed with rocks than those of us dodging the rocks. Quite simply, we’re outnumbered. That’s why I’ve owned a particular joke domain for years, SurroundedByNinnies.com.

“Gentlemen, I take it we are all in complete agreement on the decision here. Then, I propose we postpone further discussion of this matter until the next meeting to give ourselves time to develop disagreement, and perhaps gain some understanding of what the decision is all about.”  -Alfred P. Sloan

Our culture hates disagreement. We jump on it like a chicken on a June bug. We’re dug in and completely intolerant of opposing viewpoints. While simultaneously advocating complete acceptance and tolerance. It’s puzzling to me. But I’m a dot connector always trying to make sense of things. Even things that make no sense!

Yesterday we talked about hiring so it’s fitting that we’ll end the week today talking about firing. Terminating employment is a tough subject for many leaders and business owners. I certainly don’t propose to make it enjoyable or pleasant. These are lives being impacted. The employee. Their family. Their co-workers. And then there’s our reputation. What will the organization think of us? What damage might we create? Many thoughts and worries swirl around in our heads.

Right off the bat let’s set aside some basic non-negotiables. That is, there are some things that will prompt a termination and it’s just how it has to be. Period. No room for negotiation or discussion once the facts have been established. That’s an important detail — we have to establish facts and know the truth of a situation. Theft, criminal behavior, sexual harassment, drug or alcohol use on the job (sort of fits in criminal behavior, but you’ll have to determine your policy), violence in the workplace…maybe you’ve got some additional ones. I know business owners who will negotiate these depending on the severity of the infraction. Let’s say a couple of warehouse employees get into a fist fight, but nobody is hurt. Some leaders will keep one or both employees and put them on probation. Others will fire the employee who threw the first punch. So to declare these “non-negotiables” as black and white isn’t quite how it rolls. You have to decide how you’re going to operate your company. But for today’s show, I’m not talking about any of these kinds of behaviors. I’m going to narrow it to performance. Just how well are they doing their job? That’s it.

Clear expectations, clear and prompt feedback followed by support, support, support!

Every employee terminated for poor performance should see it coming. 

It’s inexcusable for a leader to fire an employee who never saw it coming. That means there hasn’t been nearly enough clear, candid communication. 

At the first sign that things are going well, the employee must be informed. Speed and timeliness are important. We can’t correct our children if we wait a week after seeing them misbehave, then we try to correct them. No, we have to do it in the moment. In real time. You must do the same thing. Sooner is always better.

Let’s suppose you’ve got an employee with attendance issues. Yes, that’s a performance issue. Not being at work when they’re scheduled is poor performance. As soon as you sense there *may* be a problem, take action. Have a conversation with them. There’s no reason to avoid having a conversation. 

Sit down with them and express your concern. Be respectful. Don’t draw a conclusion. Seek to find out what’s going on. Listen. Ask questions. 

You may find out something is going on that you knew nothing about. It may be something you can help the employee solve. Or it may be something they alone have to handle. 

Figure that out with them. Reiterate the importance of them doing their job well. Reinforce your expectation that they succeed. And your commitment to helping them. But put the proper amount of the burden on their decision and action to make it so. 

I’m a fan of documentation. Not for being formal, but for making things as clear as possible. I hate ambiguity and confusion. So I’m prone to write up and document what’s happening and having the employee sign it. If the documentation is based on the mutual understanding of the dialogue, then there’s no reason for the employee to feel uneasy signing it. It should include a clear outline of the actions you both agree to take. The conversation should end with you both committing to move forward and resolving the issue.

There has to be a first time for everything. And it’s almost always difficult. 

Everything is hard before it’s easy.

Personal and professional growth is no exception. Like most worthwhile things, it’s worth it. But it takes work. Fear and trepidation are common at the start. 

Observe the little kids who may be in your life. They’re learning things for the first time. Some things, they dive in without hesitation. Other things, they delay, they put it off, they halt and hesitate. Because they’re afraid. 

We never get past it. Young or old, fear and nervousness sometimes hit us. Mostly, we’re afraid of what we don’t know or understand. It’s always hard at the start.

Executive coaching is focused on helping the client grow. Bula Network is my company. Bula is a Fiji term meaning life, particularly carrying the connotation that life is good. It’s also analogous to “aloha” in Hawaiian and means both “hello” and “goodbye.” I’ve never been to Fiji, but I stumbled onto the word about 35 years ago, fell in love with it and started using it as the greeting on all my intercompany memos. Every memo would begin with, “Bula!” I only had to explain the meaning once (like just now). You’ll remember what it means forever. 

A decade ago the term “network” was incorporated into my company name because of the network of services I offered. When I stepped away from the C-suite I was knee-deep in roll-up-your-sleeves-get-your-hands-dirty consulting. It soon morphed into more coaching. And along the way I began to realize network was much more congruent with my philosophy and activity — it was no longer about the network of services I offered, but it was more about connection and collaboration. It’s always been about PEOPLE. 

Bula Network style is my style. Mostly, it’s not about me. It’s got very little to do with me. It’s about YOU, the client. 

My natural tendency and gift is to provide clients with a safe, secure and confidential space where they can achieve their own growth, improvement, and transformation. Dr. Henry Cloud words it better than I ever could. He says we need people with whom we can be “careless.” Not careless in the sense that we’re thoughtless, but careless in the sense that we don’t have to be careful, worried they’ll use what we say against us. That’s not difficult for me because my work isn’t about judgment. Or me imposing whatever I may want. It’s about you deciding for yourself what you most want to achieve. It’s about you deciding you’d like to be held accountable in a non-judgmental way for the choices you make – the goals you’re aiming to achieve. 

My executive coaching isn’t therapy, but it is therapeutic. It’s dialogue. It’s not a gripe gut session. There’s no room for whining when we’re working hard to grow. There’s all the room in the world though for asking questions, answering questions, thinking about assumptions, having answers questioned and opening yourself up to other viewpoints you may not have considered. It is, in a word, empowering. Intentionally. 

My coaching is special because I learned through the years to lean into the particular strengths that come naturally easy for me. Chief on the list is EMPATHY. That’s why I’m not prone to sit in judgment of you. My empathy drives me to seek understanding of you, your issues and whatever else you care to share. It also drives me to help you find the most ideal solutions to those challenges and to work harder to see and seize opportunities. 

OPTIMISM. I’m super practical. I’m not theoretical. For decades I’ve operated multi-million dollar businesses.

Education and credentials might matter. But for most of us, they’re mostly overrated. 

My son-in-law is a master chemist with a global company. His level of knowledge in science and math is vital to his work. It’s not a “we’ll show you what you need to know” kind of a career. I’ve got friends who are attorneys, doctors or other professionals where licensing is required. Education and credentials are mandatory. Without them, you can’t legally perform the work. 

Most of us own and operate companies that don’t have such requirements. Scroll past Indeed or Linkedin and you’ll see a variety of “requirements” for jobs that demonstrate many of us are just copying each other, chasing the kind of people we think we need. Basically, it’s quite a lot of follow-the-leader kind of behavior. And for good reason. We’ve been steeped into “benchmarking” for as long as I can remember. Copying each other. Chasing some idealized version of what ought to be. 

It’s colossally stupid. It kills creativity, innovation, and curiosity. 

A payment processing company is looking for a VP of Sales with at least 3 years of online payment processing experience. Maybe that’s smart. Maybe not. My question is simple, “Why?”

If I find a dynamite sales leader (and manager), but who lacks that qualification, what am I to do? I’ll tell you what I’m going to do if I’m like 95% plus of the businesses out there. I’m going to pass. And you know why? Not because the person wouldn’t be an ideal fit, but because I’m lazy. I’m looking for boxes to check so I can keep moving forward. Or so I can cut somebody out and be finished with them. 

Trying to speed up the hiring process is killing many businesses. 

I’m a speed freak, but yesterday we talked about culture – particularly a culture of accountability. If you care about your culture then you should protect it vigorously. That means you don’t let just anybody enter your organization. You take whatever time you need to properly vet candidates. But the word “properly” is up for big debate. 

Does properly mean you form a checklist, making it so comprehensive that you know it’ll narrow the field and make things easier for you? Does properly mean you approach it to find the very best person who will add value to your operation, in every way – including your culture? Those are 2 very different goals. You have to determine which one you’re trying to accomplish. Too many are chasing that former with no regard to the latter. 

“College degree, with an emphasis in business.”

“MBA required.”

Why? 

“Five years automotive experience.” (and it’s not for a mechanic; it’s for an executive leadership role)

Why?

One of the most common answers I get when I ask is, “It helps when people understand our industry.” I love it when I get that response. It prompts my next question, “How?” People are often most stymied, by the way, with one-word questions like, “Why?” and “How?” But that’s not my objective – to stymie. I want to understand what they’re thinking, and hoping to accomplish. 

They’ll tell me about the language of the industry. Every industry has these funky terms and abbreviations. Some days I just write down the ones I hear…and the ones I have to ask about because I don’t know them. It’s an industry’s way of ensuring that outsiders don’t get admitted. Like the secret handshake kids might form when they’re 6 before allowing anybody into their clubhouse. It’s equally immature, too. Look around at the terms in your industry.

Culture and communication continue to be key conversations with business owners and leaders. For good reason. They’re vital in establishing accountability. Every experienced leader knows without accountability there can be no sustainable improvement or growth.

Our growth and improvement individually hinge on our willingness to be accountable to others, and our willingness to let others be accountable to us. This week a local sports talk radio station interviewed retired Dallas Cowboy tight-end Jay Novacek. They were reminiscing about the glory days when Jay played with Troy Aikman, Emmit Smith, and Michael Irvin. Jay said those teams really enjoyed being together. They had good chemistry. It prompted the radio hosts to ask him, “Was the chemistry good because you guys won, or did you guys win because of the chemistry?” Without hesitation, Jay said, “We won because of our chemistry.”

It’s true with sports teams, business or organizational teams. If real estate lives and dies by the motto, “Location, location, location” then our businesses live and die by “culture, culture, culture.” It’s a major distinguishing factor between successful and failing organizations. Cultures aren’t created equally any more than real estate locations. Some are way better than others.

If you don’t begin to create or correct your culture so it incorporates one vital component – ACCOUNTABILITY – then it’s likely that you’ll be in the same spot 5 years from now. The problem is, the market is going to change. And your company may not survive. It’s the high price we’ll all pay for sitting on our butt thinking we’ll somehow get by on our own. 

I can readily tell you that the most underrated characteristic of high achieving businesses and organizations is accountability. CEOs and business owners who shy away from it have no chance of building a culture of accountability. And I know why some shy away from it. They’re afraid. They don’t understand it. They’re ignorant of how great things could be with accountability.

Accountability isn’t a police action. 

You own the joint. I completely understand. But don’t confuse your ownership with some delusional idea that you don’t need accountability in your life, or that your people don’t need it in theirs. 

Culture is a bit different than personal accountability in that you’re the boss, so you dictate the philosophy and principles by which your company operates. If it’s important to you, then it’s going to be important to the company. That’s the influence and power you weld. As it should. 

All the more reason to be careful about the culture you want to create. Don’t be haphazard. Or bashful to show your organization how you’re willing to accept accountability for your role as the Chief Leader, #1. Be willing to be accountable to your entire company. You are anyway. So you may as well embrace it, own it and celebrate it. 

It doesn’t mean that people impose on you. They can’t. Unless you let them. And as a business owner, you’re not likely going to do that. Nor should you. Truth is, nobody can tell you what you ought to do. You can accept input, feedback, and suggestions, but you get to decide for yourself and for the organization. In that regard, accountability isn’t a police action. It’s more of you deciding something, then being willing to have the organization hold you to it. You’re the policeman, but even cops need high accountability because with much authority and responsibility comes elevated accountability if we’re going to perform at the highest levels. 

Accountability isn’t punishment.

Another myth is that accountability is punitive. While it can be,

A group of startup sales managers are sitting around swapping stories and sharing experiences. Some of the startups are mere months old while others are a couple of years old. At some point, the conversation turns to pipelines, funnels, ideal prospects, customer acquisition and all the other components of selling. Some of the companies are B2B and others are B2C. It’s your basic shop talk. 

These are good people. Decent performers. Ambitious. Driven. Smart. Capable. 

But they’re doing something they’re not even aware of. They’re dehumanizing their prospects and customers. And it’s another teaching moment for me.

I’ve historically focused on the language salespeople use. Most of my career was spent with commission-based salespeople. I cared about the words they used, even away from the customers, because I knew it had an impact on how prospects and customers were treated. Shop talk among salespeople and sales managers fosters whatever the company allows. 

Words like “pursuit” are frequently used. As in their pursuit of customers. I seize the moment. Not with judgment, but with a point-of-view that I know these quite young sales managers hasn’t considered. 

A lead, an “up,” an avatar – these aren’t words I like. I’m not the semantic police or anything. I know we often use terms just to communicate effectively, but when we’re talking about building a business by getting new customers or serving existing customers better – two-thirds of the trifecta of successful business building – we can incorporate verbiage that doesn’t serve us well. Truth is, sometimes our words create challenges making our task even more difficult. Instead, we should incorporate wording that helps and serves our purpose well. 

You can chase or pursue customers. Like prey. Or victims. 

You’ll be better served – so will your customers – if you woo them instead. 

We woo people we love. People we care about. People we hope to develop a deeper relationship with. Wooing involves getting to know them and allowing them to get to know us. Yes, we have an interest, but we want this to mutually beneficial. 

My grandson Easton loves bugs and lizards. Our yard is filled with plenty of both. Easton will pursue them with a dogged determination. He’s pretty good, too. He catches them more often than not. Mostly because once he spots one, he won’t stop until he successfully captures it. We constantly urge him to release them, but he never wants too until he’s enjoyed putting them into a jar or something where they’re contained. He’s 5 so we’re still teaching him that they’re much happier being free. As a little boy, he’s not terribly concerned about what they might want, or what might be best for them. He wants to see them, watch them and play with them. He’s not interested in hurting them, but he’s not thinking about them. It’s a completely selfish endeavor of a little boy. 

Selling always involves people. Words reflect and form our perspectives. Don’t let anybody tell you words don’t matter! They do. I could approach you and if I knew the right thing to say to make you mad as a wet hen, your temper would flare immediately. My words could offend you, hurt you, disturb you, embarrass you or make you angry. My words could foster all sorts of emotions and energies in you. And garner all kinds of responses or reactions. You know that’s true. 

Keep talking about pursuing or hunting customers and it builds within us an image. We’re prowling for customers. We win at their expense. They’re something for us to conquer and drag back home. The spoils of business war. 

If instead, we busy ourselves evangelizing our products or s...