Inspired by the renewal Spring brings to life, I decided to take a pause, reflect, and celebrate the growth and progress I've made over the last months. One of the things I've been committed to during the previous year was being very intentional about my self-awareness, and I've noticed some changes I would like to share today.  

In this episode, we delve into the three main areas of my self-awareness journey that I've noticed a fantastic evolution in, and I'm sure you will find it very useful in your own growth journey. We explore the importance (and the difficulty) of being present, experiencing a deeper connection with our feelings, and preventing our hearts from traveling back to painful memories or the future into the fields of uncertainty. We touch on the relieving sensation of experiencing more acceptance and surrendering than resisting and the peace of letting our true self reach the surface.

In addition, we highlight the importance of actively practicing gratitude to keep us centered and aware of our efforts and their results. 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• What I've learned about the relationship between my tendency to resist and the importance of acceptance (2:01)
• The importance of being aware of our two parts, the one that wants to heal and the part that is afraid to heal (4:42)
• About the importance of letting our true self reach the surface and take control (7:36)
• The vital importance of being present (despite how hard it might look) (10:53)
• We must create space to appreciate how far we've come (14:38)
• We are unstoppable when our mind is quiet (18:32)

Resources:

• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together
• Email: [email protected]

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, we delve into the second part of my conversation with Shawn Costley. 

This time, we touch on the need to create and honor a season to mourn and weep in our lives, the importance of taking the time to look inside of ourselves introspectively, aftercare, and the limitations the Black community imposes itself to deal with grief.  

Shawn, kindly and generously, shared some painful personal experiences, and he described vividly how the power of community helped him navigate the excruciating pain of losing a child. We also talk about the familiar sensation of knowing something is not alright inside us and what we can do to change it. Shawn talked about the solo getaways he makes from time to time to examine himself, check on his thoughts and the stories in his head, and pivot as needed to achieve the goals he committed to. 

Some Questions I Ask:

• What does dealing with the living look like for you, Shawn? (4:07)
• As a minister and a leader in your community, what have you noticed about people that you interact with? (11:08)
• What would be some examples for you when we know things are not right inside? (24:17)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• What does aftercare require, according to Shawn (5:08)
• About Shawn's grief story and the loss of his son (13:33)
• How the programming we bring from our childhood affects our grieving abilities (22:34)
• We have to study ourselves to discover what triggers our pain (26:15)
• Social media opened the possibility to reconnect with lots of people, and that could not necessarily be a good thing (33:51)
• The importance of honoring our elders today before it is too late (37:12)

Resources:

• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now
• Madison's Mighty Men of Valor Facebook 

Connect with Shawn:

• Facebook

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Modern life is so busy, so full of things, distractive, and immediate. There is little time to enjoy one thing at a time, let alone reflect, analyze, and grieve. The fast-paced society demands our attention and immediate reaction to blend in with harmony. But grief doesn't work like that; we can't do it while we scroll on our phones. We need to set up a time for it, make an appointment with ourselves, and show up. 

Our guest, Shawn Costley, brings this powerful concept to our discussion, explaining the need and benefits of taking care of ourselves in grief. To ask for a minute if we need to, cry our eyes out if we feel like it, and reach for help if we realize we can't cope with the pain.

Shawn Costley is the Director of Huntsville Corporate Housing Solutions and the Founder of Madison's Mighty Men of Valor. 

In this first part of our interview, Shawn talks about his upbringing, traveling around the world and meeting new cultures, and at the same time, being incapable of lifelong friendships. Shawn shared his thoughts on the harmful effects of COVID on people's lives, the devastating effects of losing loved people back to back during the pandemic, and the importance of taking good care of ourselves before trying to help someone else. 

Some Questions I Ask:

• At what point in your life did you decide you wanted to be different? (5:35)
• Could you share your perspective about all the losses, especially since the pandemic started? Death, job losses, and health losses? (10:39)
• What would you tell someone who is drowning in pain and grief? (26:14)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• Shawn talks about how it was for him growing up constantly moving (4:12)
• Make an appointment with yourself (14:08)
• Even Jesus cried, so it is okay to cry (19:31)
• Repassing the life of the person that we just lost is essential for proper grief recovery (25:01)
• Breathe first. First-care is everything (32:05)

Resources:

• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now

Connect with Shawn:

• Facebook

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today's episode is the second part of our conversation with The Love Doctor, Barry Selby. This time, we include love and joy in relationships into the discussion, and Barry shares his secret sauce for long-lasting relationships.

Barry Selby is a Speaker, Bestselling Author, and Expert Facilitator who helps women leaders find balance in love, life, and business. He has been a Ministry Director and Practitioner at the Agape International Spiritual Centertitioner for over 28 years, and he has a Master's Degree in Spiritual Psychology. Barry authored the book "50 Ways to love your lover," which includes powerful principles for passionate relationships filled with deeply fulfilling and juicy romance.

We explore the link between grief and relationships and the grief process we go through after a breakup. Barry dives into the influence of our formative years, the things we learn in them have on our adult lives, and how we choose to interact with others. Barry sheds some light on people's behavioral challenges or bad habits they imprint in their relationships and the importance of going through a self-healing journey before trying to heal someone else.

Finally, Barry talks about feminine magnificence and what it means to be a masculine man. He kindly offers advice for people thinking of getting their feet into the dating world again.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• Sometimes is not about missing the person; it is about missing the possibilities of what could've happened (4:57)
• We learn about love by watching others (6:30)
• Stop projecting childhood traumas into your partner (12:34)
• Never paint over rust. Barry shares some tips to deal with bad habits (15:26)
• About Barry's background and why he decided to be a champion for the divine feminine (18:43)
• We must get clear on who we are and what do we want from a relationship before putting ourselves out there (25:16)

Resources:

• Barry Selby website
• Book: Barry Selby - 50 Ways To Love Your Lover
• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now
• Book: Besser van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Connect with Barry:

• LinkedIn
• Instagram

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Like many other things in life, grief is something we cannot predict; it's not systemized, and the feelings of grieving land on us unexpectedly. We already know that the worst way to deal with it is to fight it or try to push it down. If we do that, it'll resurge even strongly later. 

Today we have a special guest, Barry Selby, and through his story of grief, we explore fascinating concepts about grief and love he learned in his career as a counselor and the loss of his parents. 

Barry Selby, The Love Doctor, is a Speaker, Bestselling Author, and Expert Facilitator who helps women leaders find balance in love, life, and business. He has been a Ministry Director and Practitioner at the Agape International Spiritual Centertitioner for over 28 years, and he has a Master's Degree in Spiritual Psychology. 

In this episode, we explore new ways of dealing with grief, holding to the beautiful memories of our loved ones rather than to the feelings their loss produces on us. Barry kindly shared his journey and experiences losing both of his parents, his mother in 2012 and his father last year. We delve into his healing process, the most significant hurdles he had to deal with, and the central role of gratitude in grieving.   

Some Questions I Ask:

Would you share with us your most compelling grief story? (4:54)

How did you deal with the loss of your parents? (10:54)

What took you the longest to learn as you were going through this grief process? (16:53)

Is there any particular thing you will share with my listeners about practicing love in the process of grieving? (18:32)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

Barry talks about how tough it was for him to see his mother trapped in her body and the relief of seeing her leaving the physical plane (5:10)

Grief is something we cannot predict; it hits us like ocean waves (12:41)

Holding to grief is holding to the loss of someone; we should instead hold onto the beautiful memories of them (14:31)

How hard it was for Barry to see the story almost repeating itself with his father, nine years later after the loss of his mother (24:37)

Resources:

Barry Selby website

Book: Barry Selby - 50 Ways To Love Your Lover

Growing Through Grief System - Book Now

Book: Besser van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score

Connect with Barry:

LinkedIn

Instagram

Let's Connect!

Facebook

Twitter

Website

Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A natural movement for children to assimilate what is happening in their lives is to link events to their own actions. For instance, kids will believe that their parents divorced because they were naughty. Those thoughts, those emotions will lead to us not feeling good enough or undeserving of certain things. 

Emotions are our first communicators; that is why it is essential to understand that children grieve too. 

Today, in the second part of our two-part interview with Dr. Shawn, we had a wonderful conversation about the deep connections established in the parents' relationship with their kids and, more specifically, in the mother-daughter relationship. We delve into the power and influence of a mother's voice over her daughter, the meaning built around the hug and how it can be associated with hurting, and the critical relevance of taking a pause to let feelings go through us. We also talk about paying attention to the physical response to emotions, the concept of mental wealth, the role of guilt as an invitation for reflection, and trauma's capacity to modify DNA. 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• Dr. Shawn shares her thoughts on the mother-daughter relationship (4:45)
• About how children interiorize what is going on around them and why it is crucial to pay attention to how they express their emotions (8:04)
• Mental health is mental wealth (13:08)
• Guilt is an emotion designed for reflection (15:13)
• How can realizing our mother is not perfect help us grow (18:16)
• About the importance of recognizing that children also grieve (22:54)
• Trauma has the power of modifying DNA and condition people's behavior (27:48)

Resources:

• Dr. Shawn website
• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now
• Book: Besser van der Kolk - The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

Connect with Dr. Shawn:

• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The first step to finding the solution to a problem is recognizing it exists. When we talk about grief recovery, the second step is to realize we need help; a compassionate listener is crucial to change our reality. Fear, sadness, pain, anger, and even confusion, all those feelings are valid, and perhaps the process of our healing includes going through some of them. However, it is key to our recovery to understand that the body is not a storage center; it is a processing center. 

Visiting us today, in this special episode, is Dr. Shawn Fuqua. She is a Mother, a Wife, a Licensed Therapist, Mental Health Advocate, Author, Diversity Leader, and Educator. 

Dr. Shawn is an engaged public speaker. She is a caring professional with over 20 years of experience working with children and women. She is passionate about helping others through counseling, academic instruction, and community service. 

Today, in our first encounter of this two-part interview, Dr. Shawn kindly shared some golden nuggets on a holistic approach to healing and grief recovery. She invites us to reflect on the connection between mind, soul, and body in our healing process and our health improvement. We delve into Dr. Shawn's personal grief story, the stigma around mental health, the power of our emotions, and more. 

Some Questions I Ask:

• You are a licensed therapist. Could you tell us what therapy is? (3:53)
• Could you share with us your own personal grief story? (10:05)
• How have you become more of yourself after going through your own grief process? (21:16)

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• The first step is to recognize we need help (6:06)
• It's okay to be sad; it's okay to be confused (14:27)
• We must acknowledge the power of our emotions (16:03)
• Self-care is vital to avoid depression (17:40)
• The crucial importance of having a compassionate listener (28:53)

Resources:

• Dr. Shawn website
• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now

Connect with Dr. Shawn:

• LinkedIn
• Instagram
• Facebook
• Twitter

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The first time I heard the statement, "you have everything you need inside of you," it didn't make much sense to me. Where? I asked. But when I sat quietly and paid attention to the soft whisper telling me how much I was loved, needed, and powerful, I got it; that place where I had all I need is the center of my heart, my true self, where we can also hear the voice of our soul. 

Today's episode is about paying attention to where we are looking for answers and understanding that we'll never find peace as long as we keep on looking for them outside of ourselves. We delve into the importance of committing to work on ourselves to find answers, develop the ability of self-reflection, and why we must release to heal. We also talk about creating space to allow what is new to enter our lives, and get rid of the old bitterness, since we can't create new feelings with an old mindset. 

In addition, I share three simple yet powerful secrets to feel better immediately, and we explore the importance of raising barriers without fear of rejection and the instrumental role of forgiveness in healing.

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• We are all on a similar journey; we are all healing from something (2:14)
• We must commit to working on ourselves if we want to grow and heal (3:20)
• We can either stay disconnected or listen to our intuition, to the quiet whisper (7:19)
• Accessing the center of our hearts will allow us to find the answers we are looking for (12:40)
• Why should we focus on our mental health (17:26)
• You can't heal what you can't see (20:41)
• Three secrets to feel better NOW (21:04)

Resources:

• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sometimes, the price we pay for our growth is losing some people along the way. This can be particularly painful since we all love to be around people. However, some losses might be necessary; we should take a step back and distance ourselves from the critics that drain our energy, the so-called energy vampires. It's a hard decision to make, especially if those critics are family members, but for the sake of our growth, we should surround ourselves only with those who help us stand tall and feel safe.

As a result of a hard and quite uncomfortable exercise I've been doing for the past weeks, a teardrop that slipped unknowingly showed me what I needed to do, open myself, and allow the tsunami of emotions I was holding back to flow through me. 

Today's episode is about releasing. It is about letting go of those who deplete our energy and put us down and about releasing our emotions, to let go of the feelings we are holding back. We explore what's underneath the anger we might sometimes feel, the importance of allowing emotions to flow through us, staying with them, and getting ready to hear the message our emotions have for us. 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• The importance of being with our emotions, even with the painful ones (4:19)
• A teardrop in the stone floors. Letting our bodies release and allow the feelings throughout our bodies (6:18)
• Stay close to those who help you raise tall and support you (9:43)
• Learning to discover the tears that have a purpose attached to them (18:10)
• The power of being clear about our intention (23:37)

Resources:

• Growing Through Grief System - Book Now

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As I sit to record this on Giving Tuesday, my mind wanders through the feelings of gratitude, happiness, and furnishing that most of us get in these holidays. 

Life has given and taught me lots of things during all these years, and if I have to think about life's favorite teachers, grief comes on top of the list. Grief has taught me valuable lessons I carry deep in my heart and love to teach and share. 

Today, in Season one's last episode, we talk about the lessons I learned from grief. We explore different types of grief, other than the loss of a loved one, that we tend to ignore or even don't recognize as grief, like racism or the lack of life without discrimination. Throughout this episode, we dive deep into the three lessons grief taught me that will help you experience growth, move forward, develop a healthy relationship with grief, and learn to use it rather than be used by it. 

In This Episode, You Will Learn:

• What does giving and gifting has to do with grief (1:21)
• Some of the things grief has gifted me over the years (4:03)
• Freedom and lightness. No one has to change for us to feel better (5:55)
• Why we must let go of the stories from the past (7:02)
• The power of nurturing our spirit of curiosity (10:13)
• Allowing grief to be our companion (14:17)
• A snippet of some of the topics we'll touch in Season 2 (15:27)

Let's Connect!

• Facebook
• Twitter
• Instagram
• LinkedIn
• Website
• Facebook Group - Growing Through Grief Together

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.