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This multi-part text describes the author's experience growing up in an international occultic group's facility, detailing a rigorous and traumatic upbringing designed to mold individuals into loyal, skilled members. The process begins with prenatal programming, utilizing the birth mother's pain to condition the unborn child, followed by intense spiritual and loyalty training from infancy, including elaborate staged setups to instill specific beliefs and create internal structures within the child's psyche. Later years involve advanced academic learning, military skills, and training in torture and programming techniques, alongside regular "hosting" in various countries to build covert identities and maintain a constant cycle of trauma and amnesia between the cult life and the external world. The narrative highlights the emphasis on obedience, survival of the fittest, and detachment from conventional morality, culminating in a disturbing coming-of-age ritual where the children participate in mass sacrifice to become full adult members of the order.