GUARDIAN ANGEL

Yeehaw, it’s Meemaw season! A chance sighting of Ethel Cain in the streets followed by seeing her perform live at Rising Festival doms the pod, but that doesn’t stop us from overanalysing Throwing Fits memes, relevant TV shows, pets and their owner's disgusting behaviours, the designer apple and nerd goggle warpath and the Macca’s mafia.

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(00:00:00) A Chance Encounter With Ethel Cain

(0015:21) Review: Debby Friday and Desire Marea Live @ Max Watt’s

(00:15:46) Salem and Ethel Cain’s Depop Shop

(00:17:23) Review: Ethel Cain Live

(00:31:54) Shoutout: Penny Drop Tours

(00:32:26) Recap: The Final Episode Of Dave

(00:34:38) The Idol Launches, Euphoria And The Shards Are Delayed

(00:32:52) The Outrage Over ‘Girls’ By The Dare

(00:46:56) Throwing Fits Memes And Thrifting

(00:50:18) Trolleys vs Baskets

(00:51:42) Paint Your Pet Nat And Sip

(00:52:12) Pet Food For Humans

(00:53:03) Mouth Kissing Your Dog Is Disgusting

(00:54:07) Bundaberg Sugar Sachets Are Baby Crack

(00:55:17) Purple Bravo’s Are The Louis Vuitton Of Apples

(00:57:37) The Apple Nerd Goggles Are Trying To Murder Cinema Culture And Live Sport

(01:02:44) Happy Birthday Grimace (The Purple Bravo Of McDonald's)

What do a flea market, a billy cart derby, and question time have in common? A sinister underbelly uncovered by us. Harry and I cross utopian borders from the hills of Bangalow to the Nation’s Capital to compare the streets to the senate whilst high on Sudafed.

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(00:00:00) Recap: Habitat Flea Market Sale

(00:08:53) The Bucket Of Fuccboi Novels

(00:10:13) The Best Gems Eva

(00:11:00) The School Fete’s Underage Gambling Ring

(00:13:22) Recap: The Bangalow Billy Cart Derby

(00:15:05) Fashion On The Field: Kidcore

(00:16:46) Sinister Shit: Sports Parents, Disturbing Billy Cart Designs, Andrew Tatertots

(00:22:25) Recap: Canberra Trip

(00:24:26) Inside The Swedish Embassy

(00:27:05) Inside Parliament House

(00:30:42) Review: Parliament House Cafe

(00:31:16) Milk Talk: Greens On Oat, Labor On Skim, Libs On Full Cream

(00:35:19) Recap: Question Time - The Gold Sceptre, The Albo Lean, Pollies Tragic Style, The Greens Gang, VPN’s On Government Devices, Filibusters And Dorothy Dixers, Kissing The Speaker Ring, The eBay Bidding War Between Jim Chalmers + ScoMo, Class Clowns Are Future Members Of The Liberal Party

(00:54:20) Tactical Sudafed Vom In The Political Garden

Spoiler alerts are rife as Harry and I review the final episode of Succession. We perceive the micro nuances of the characters and the macro elitism of the show's entirety as we say one final “fuck off” to the capitalist pigathon that had us gripped to the teet over 4 seasons.

My reformer pilates training served me well at the annual vintage sale, which I narrowly escaped with my designer bundle in arms. To celebrate my haul, Harry and I ate tinned fish and tiramisu at a fontcore establishment with hotties on staff. A pit stop at a “famous pies” spot led to disappointment, followed by heavy discourse around the emerging Brad and Edna tropes in the rural town pie gentrification wave.

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(00:00:00) Barnacle Banter

(00:01:33) Swan Diving At The Annual Vintage Sale

(00:16:24) Koala’s Are Being Vaccinated For Chlamydia

(00:17:25) Neighbours Alumni As Tourism Ambassadors

(00:20:10) Review: Ciao, Mate!

(00:31:48) Foreshadowing The Bangalow Billy Cart Derby

(00:32:33) New York City Is Sinking

(00:33:41) The Internet Is Being Archived

(00:35:47) Famous VS Infamous Pies

(00:40:17) Trope Talk: Are You Team Brad Or Team Edna?

(00:43:29) RIP Jock From MasterChef

(00:44:52) Review: McCain Ad Starring Becky Lucas

(00:46:20) The Stand Up Comedy Library VS The Sit Down Comedy Club

(00:52:10) Unpacking Our Lay Down Comedy Genre

In The Shards, Bret Easton Ellis reflects on high school in the pre-internet liberation of the 80s, where insecurity is too often mistaken for sincerity. The Shards showcases "numbness as a mask" worn by emotionally stunted teenagers vs the "numbness as a feeling" characterised by the morally depraved cast of Less Than Zero. The ability to "feel in excess" validates our paranoia about the horrors of the human condition, where even the rich and beautiful are damned to uncontrollable jealousy, unfulfilled yearning and unrequited love.

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(00:00:00) Book Review: The Shards

(00:47:58) Fanfic: Casting The Shards TV Show

I travelled back to my scene days at the all-ages Maggie Lindemann show at Prince of Wales, which got me thinking about ex-scene kids and their altering habits as they age up. Harry and I discuss Aubrey Plaza, Travis Barker, Pete Davidson, Phoebe Bridgers, Matty Healy, Grimes and "the agenda" of Big Milk, Big Sugar, Big Nicotine, Big Manscape, Big Paywall and Big AI.

(00:00:00) Tour Review: Maggie Lindemann @ Prince Of Wales

(00:03:51) Head Banging Starring Jae’s Illuminati hair

(00:04:51) Venn Diagram: Joe Rogan X Maggie Lindemann

(00:05:35) Big Milk Is On A Warpath And Holding Aubrey Plaza Captive

(00:07:44) Liquid Death X Travis Barker: Enema Of The State Campaign

(00:08:49) Pete Davidson’s On Air Manscape Plug

(00:10:32) Matty Healy Is Pete Davidson For Sad Indie Chicks

(00:13:51) Shawn Mendes Is On His Hot Boy Shit

(00:14:50) Disposable Vapes Are Officially Being Banned In Australia

(00:21:24) Harry’s Big Sugar Rant

(00:24:15) Grimes Is Happily Licensing Her Voice For AI

(00:25:57) Artist Advice: How To Use AI To Your Advantage

(00:30:42) Pay Per View VS Paywalls

(00:36:58) Vice Media Declares BANKRUPTCY!

We drove to Brisbane for the day to see our fav extroverted sad girl chef Alison Roman on her ‘Sweet Enough’ book tour. What happens when two emo girlies make eye contact? Well, Harry (The Menace) booked us literal front-row centre seats for the show so I could find out.

(00:00:00) End Of The Bad Boy Era: My Big Return To Reformer Pilates

(00:02:51) Coronation Chicken Musings

(00:04:44) Prince Harry’s Influencer Rate Card

(00:05:47) Err… What Is The Royal’s Last Name?

(00:08:04) Ye Olde Tradition VS YouTube Lighting

(00:08:50) Front Row Centre At The Sweet Enough Book Tour

(00:11:20) Book Tour Venue Walk Thru

(00:12:22) Fandom Assessment: The Wobbly Eye Book Clutching Trope

(00:16:17) Network TV VS Internet Fame

(00:21:50) The Bon Appetit Golden Era

(00:23:57) Fit Check: The Tinned Fish Hive VS Sourdough Starter Pack

(00:25:07) Tourism Talk: Brisbane, BigSound And The Valley

(00:30:50) Perceiving Alison Roman

(00:33:04) The Curse Of Meeting Your Fans

(00:33:40) Fuck, Marry, Kill: Pasta, Rice, Bread

(00:41:41) Book Signing Tactics

(00:44:01) Milk Talk: Coffee Is Still Affordable Up North

After seeing The 1975 'At Their Very Best' on tour, surviving the emotional turmoil of the Matty Healy and Taylor Swift dating rumours and witnessing the coronation of the wrong King (it should've been you Matty), we callback to our first listen to 'Being Funny In A Foreign Language' during album release week. Rest assured that our takes have aged like a fine (non-alcoholic) wine, as has the record.

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(00:00:00) Springing The Mic On Harry For His Candid Takes

(00:11:57) Track By Track Assessment With Mia

(00:25:37) Last Words On The Band

After a brief co-appearance in Sydney, Harry and I are trying one of those “zoom-arrest-pod-things” from separate cities. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but the same can’t be said about vampire reboots, fashion icon bootlegs, milk moves and rappers going goofy. Yikes!

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(00:00:00) From The Suburbs To The Seaside

(00:01:35) That Big Pharma Good Good 

(00:02:29) Sydney Recap: Pellegrino 2000

(00:03:45) Sydney Recap: TNSW @ The Lansdowne

(00:04:46) Sydney Recap: The 1975 @ Qudos Bank Arena

(00:10:37) The Dirty Hit Org Change

(00:16:46) Coachella Recap: r/frankocean

(00:27:06) Coachella Recap: Ethel Cain Fit Check / Week 2 Shenanigans

(00:30:22) The Lil Uzi Vert Satanism Allegations

(00:31:03) The Don Toliver Dance Is Quietly Upsetting Kali Uchis

(00:33:21) This Twilight TV Reboot Is Making Me Sick

(00:38:20) The Obama Sisters Are NOT The New Olsen Twins

(00:42:00) Milk Talk: Chambie’s Canned Coffee Assessment

(00:47:41) Milk Talk: The ‘Fuck Oatly’ Campaign

Between alt kids in political families, the token Asian girl on Dave, the Superbad supremacy and the #footlongontour bus - we’re feeling seen af rn. This week, we sympathise with Charli XCX and Barbie Ferreira, demonise Trump and Minor Figures and regress into #babycore as we indulge in water bottle culture and the vape contradiction. Uh, Wabi-sabi anyone?

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(00:00:00) Hush Money and Political Fashion Creds

(00:01:37) Charli XCX And The Samsung Ransom Retainer

(00:02:50) Media Watching And Pedestrian Patrick Baiting

(00:04:50) Trump’s Zoom Arrest And Melania’s Investment Portfolio

(00:09:45) The Labour Party Korn Hoodie And Suburban Alt Visibility 

(00:14:37) Intergenerational Discourse At The Family Function

(00:16:56) Barbie Ferreira’s Tepid Euphoria Tea

(00:23:22) International Shipping Woes And The Curse Of Locally Produced Merch

(00:35:03) New Season Of Dave (And Why You People Still Sucks)

(00:37:51) Nicholas Braun And The Goofy White Guy Superbad Trope

(00:41:20) Attending A Culkin Family Gathering

(00:44:15) The Fortnite Cooey Busking Streamer

(00:45:49) The Prime Plateau And The Blue Drink Mystery

(00:46:56) Milk Drinks, Oatly Supremacy And The Minor Figures Activation

(00:47:29) Tailgating The Subway Footlong On-Tour Bus

(00:53:00) The “Elite” Subway Order VS Harry’s Subway Order

(00:57:59) Outing My Most Fucked Subway Order

(01:04:49) PSA: Pigs Taste Like Humans

(01:06:47) Reformation Repurposing Viral TikToks

(01:08:35) Tyler The Creator Economy And Wes Anderson

(01:09:37) Bottle Flossing And iGet Dummies

(01:12:35) The Environment VS Drying Stanky Hanky Towels

(01:14:14) Water Bottles Are A Fashion Statement