Dear Mary,

Please help me.  I’m so exhausted, but can’t sleep. Every time I finally fall asleep, I’m woken up anxious, my mind racing with a thousand different thoughts of disaster and catastrophe.  This Pandemic is so overwhelming.  How do I settle my mind so I can sleep?

Signed,

Up all night

Dear Mary,

My spouse never cleans up after himself in the kitchen and it drives me nuts!! What is a girl to do?

I ask him nicely if he can wash his plate or glass so they don’t pile up, but then he gets mad at me for bitching at him.

No matter my tone, my body language or timing of the day, he immediately gets defensive with me about it.

Do you have any suggestions on how to better frame the question or request of him?

Any advice is appreciated.

Sincerely,

The Bitchy Wife

Dear Mary,

Help.  Since Covid hit we’ve all been just hunkering down at home.  My husband has been really great about helping out and we’ve ordered everything in so we didn’t have to go out anywhere.  Well, now that we are starting to open up again, my husband doesn’t think he has to wear a mask.  I can’t believe it.  After all we did together to stay safe. I didn’t ever think this would be an issue that would come up.  I just don’t get it.  He thinks that the worst is over and the masks don’t really do anything.  I’m so scared and angry.  Doesn’t he realize he’s putting us all at risk?  How do I deal with this?

Signed,

Disillusioned and Hurt

Dear Mary,

It’s been a rough few weeks.

Our washing machine has been on the fritz for a while and decided to stop working during this whole COVID chaos.

I loaded up the car, did all the laundry and brought it back home and asked my spouse if he could help me put it all away.

It’s day two and the laundry has not been put away, however it is all messy from him rummaging through it to find a specific shirt he wanted to wear.

I asked again if he could put the laundry away and he snapped back at me “Yes, I will get to it, stop nagging me”.

Really? I held my tongue without being defensive and walked away…..was I in the wrong for just walking away or should I have engaged in a calm manner?

Yours Truly,

Laundry Lady

Dear Mary,

I’m struggling with all the violence in the world especially aimed at Black People.  I thought I was always aware of my white privilege but am learning I have a lot to learn.  I always felt that my husband was the same as me but lately we’ve been having so many arguments over Black Lives Matter vs. All Lives Matter.  I’m completely stunned that he doesn’t get it and worse yet, doesn’t seem to want to get it.  It’s really making me question our whole relationship.  I’m not sure I want to be with someone who is so ignorant and callous to human life. When is something a definitely deal-breaker?

Signed,

Is This Grounds for Divorce

Dear Mary,

I want to leave my husband but everyone I talk to about it tells me I’m crazy, that I’ve got it good and I should just shut up and stay.  Are they right?

Miserable and Confused

Dear Mary,

I can’t live like this any longer.  I know I have to have a conversation with my husband but I keep putting it off.  Why am I doing this and what can I do about it?

Don’t want to have the talk

Dear Don’t Want To

Dear Mary,

I keep having strange dreams.  They are different times from my childhood that I haven’t thought about in a long time and are very painful.  Why are they coming up out of the blue?  Is there something they are trying to tell me or are they just dreams?

Sleepless in Suburbia

Dear Mary,

I’m so overwhelmed with all the things that have to get done to keep my house, my kids, my annoying partner and my sanity in check.  Do I really have to do this all by myself?  I’m so tired of nothing getting done unless I do it.  The house is a mess.  The sink’s always full of dirty dishes.  The laundry is all over the floor.  I’m so tired of living in a pig stye and seeming to be the only one that cares or does anything about it. Is this really the way my life has to be?

Suffocating under a pile of laundry

Dear Mary,

I’m so overwhelmed with all the things that have to get done to keep my house, my kids, my annoying partner and my sanity in check.  Do I really have to do this all by myself?  I’m so tired of nothing getting done unless I do it.  The house is a mess.  The sink’s always full of dirty dishes.  The laundry is all over the floor.  I’m so tired of living in a pig stye and seeming to be the only one that cares or does anything about it. Is this really the way my life has to be?

Suffocating under a pile of laundry