Hallmark of Greatness

Shut up Cyber Phil!

This week we take you back to 1993 then Virtual Reality was the future and you could legitimately make a gameshow based on that alone. We are of course talking about Cyberzone the short lived but fondly remembered Craig Charles technology based "Adventure" game where the rules don't matter and the points matter even less.

You will hear all about fringed jackets, pointless Wii games, correct helicopter uses and the worst prize we have ever seen.

The episode we reviewed is up on youtube if you want to watch beforehand but honestly, its better if you dont.

This week we take you all the way back to 2003 with an episode of the fantastic and weirdly forgotten Time Commanders. Its sort of a bit like Risk but with way more shouting and abject failure.

You will hear all about Milton Keynes infrastructure, polo shirt envy, dead 50s rock stars, being unable to see the wood for the trees, Archers, The Archers and Jeffery Archer and some actual historical knowledge from James.

Still ploughing our way through the reality TV world and this week its a "fan" request, as we take you through a classic week of the daytime B&B squabble fest Four in a Bed. Imagine Come Dine with Me but its people that own weird hotels and want to be YOUR friend.

You'll hear all about egg contraptions, the worst game to play with strangers, the cost of 1 fly, creepy ringmasters and how much technology is too much technology?

If you have any suggestions for shows you want us to cover let us know by all the usual methods. Or just yell them at us in the street like everyone else does yeah?

Continuing on with our reality TV theme were doing for some reason we bring you this week Season 43 Episode 8 of the long running cookery bastard show Come Dine with me where 5 random people have to host consecutive dinner parties in the hope of winning a grand. A simple enough premise but its always an entertaining watch due to the misguided dreams of the contestents.

This episode is all about Claire who serves everything on a plank, has only a wok to cook in and makes possibly the worst chips we have ever seen.

There are clips of the show on YouTube and it is on the 4 app if you live in the UK.

Prawns

Something a little different as a temporary filler until we are all back together as we take you through a classic episode of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA as its something Joe and Mark love greatly and its something we have wanted to try for a bit now.

You'll hear all about floor food, Marks virginity and the best off brand Ghostbusters theme you never heard.

The whole episode is available on here https://youtu.be/pHchw-J91qE?si=6CPmyBycfIGG1JZK

and if this is something that you like we can do more of them. We probably will anyways

James & Joe are back after a prolonged Genie related incident to take you through a proper Hallmark for the first time in a long time, the 2024 classic Paging Mr Darcy.

The story of a dull woman, a dull man and the most annoying sister in the world. You'll hear all about catering biffers, James experimental one man show and the formation of Mansfield Chunk

This week we are joined by the fantastically talented Mr Pat Veil to go through the 2008 classic Punisher: Warzone or The Most Violent Marvel Film to Date as it should be known.

You will hear all about bullet sprinklers, Dennis Nedry facts, tales of Pats dashed boyhood dreams and Plantys one impression he can do.

Its a little more relaxed in the edit this week simply because talking to Pat is lovely experience and he definitely classes up the joint.

Go follow his social media but most importantly listen to his music, he's really really good.

https://linktr.ee/patveil

Joe has been abandoned but thankfully the lovely Jay has stepped in to take him through another Hulk Hogan film, this time the 2009 classic Little Hercules in 3D although it wasn't in 3D. Starring Terrible Terry, The Big Show Tall Paul and the little buff boy you all remember from them memes a few years back. Its a simple tale of Hercules, Socrates and somehow Draculas wife going to Burbank to win a decathlon or something.

You will hear all about toilet phones, the worst teacher yet, hoarding children and the best special effect we have ever seen.

You can find Jay over on The Untitled Wrestling Podcast or if you don't like wrestling he also does One Nation Under Ted: A Ted Lasso Podcast that is.... well you can work it out i'm sure.

Planty is back and we go all moody as we take you through the 2006 sort of goth classic The Covenant starring a load of high cheekboned lads of indeterminate faces in a film that's a bit like The Craft if you remove everything that is good and replace it with old tiramisu.

You'll find out about imaginary spiders, the coolest mum in the world, CROTCH ROCKETS, the best chores for a growing boy and if the mayor finally got the upgrade.

As people are away on holiday, getting married or have been drafted into the French Foreign Legion we decided to do a little mini series of peoples favourite bad movies and what better way to kick off then with the daddy of them all, Jean-Claude Van Dammes video game masterpiece Streetfighter.

Were joined by the John from Dammit Vacant and the lovely Ethan Edwards as we find out how much JCVD got paid, the dangers of actual knives, evil Youtube, correct stealth visor usage, the Bison Price Index and what happened to Kylie in her 3 lost days!

THIS CONCLAVE IS OVER!