Han and Matt Know It All

Han and Matt were so excited to be joined by the one and only Brandy "Ask a Fuck-Up" Jensen! You may have seen her Tweets cited on every single topic on every single news outlet, and you'll be relieved to know that Brandy's brilliance is actually and rightfully rewarded monetarily on The Outline where she answers questions every week on one of the only good things to come out of 2018. Here's what we discussed:

1. Ask a Fuck-Up
   • Brand Jensen on Twitter
2. The Outline: "I Can't Tweet for One Week and It's Killing Me"
3. Brandy Tweeting About Advice Columns
   • 9 Nov 2015: Someone publish a piece on how the advice column has become the home of some of our generation's best writers
   • 2 Jan 2016: I feel like if I wrote an advice column every answer would be "we're all hurtling toward death, I'm sure it will work out"
   • 6 Apr 2016: Wanna start an advice column called Go Fuck Yourself where I just tell you to masturbate and see if that helps
   • 12 Apr 2017: someone give me an advice column, I love telling other people what they should do
   • 9 Mar 2018: I want to write an advice column called "Ask a Fuck Up" the premise of which is since I adamantly refuse to learn from my own mistakes perhaps other people can
4. AAFU: "With special guest Neko Case"
5. AAFU: "I'm not as smart as everyone said I was"
6. AAFU: "Can people change?"
7. AAFU: "I'm still in therapy. Should I be dating?"
8. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
9. Listener The Cyan Satyr: "How Do I Get Back into the Groove After a Traumatic Health Setback?"
10. Shoutout to Ask a Manager: "our new manager is pressuring the women on our team to use menstrual cups"
11. Shoutout to Ask Amy: "Phone use at concert not music to their ears"
12. Shoutout to Ask a Native New Yorker on Gothamist, Who Now Has a Book!
    • Ask a Native New Yorker: "Should We Move In Together?"
13. Shoutout to Sexual Healing: "I met my girlfriend's parents – and realised I once slept with her father"
14. Advice Column Alert: "Yours in Tenacity, Miri"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of March 3rd, 2019, and beyond, including:

1. WINTER MEETUP:
   • Washington, DC, Busboys and Poets on K Street
   • March 16th, 6 PM - 10 PM
   • Facebook Event
2. [CW: Fat-Shaming] r/relationship_advice: "Boyfriend [25M] told me he used to ask out "fat girls" for fun. Am I [22F] right to be disgusted by him?"
3. Dear Prudence: "Help! I Caught My Day Care Provider Breastfeeding My Baby."
4. Carolyn Hax: "Should a single try to burst her friend's couple bubble?"
5. Dear Wendy: "I Kissed My Friend And My Boyfriend Called It Cheating!"
6. Ask a Manager: "my boss sent my client a flirty message from my email account"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. SPONSOR: care/of: A monthly subscription vitamin service that delivers completely personalized vitamin and supplement packs right to your door!
9. [CW: Self-Harm, Disordered Eating] Listener Kalvarin Ashmore, Renowned Euphomancer: "How Do I Teach Myself That a Relapse in My Mental Health Isn't an Indication of Failure?"
   • Suicide Prevention Hotline FAQ: 1-800-273-8255
10. Shoutout to Hola Papi!: "I'm Straight-Acting and I Don't Know Where I Fit In"
11. Shoutout to Alison Green on Slate: "The Guy Who Hid Tacos in His Desk Drawer" or "Why do people go so nuts over free food at work?"
12. Shoutout to Ask Polly: "Is My Absence From Social Media a Red Flag?"
13. Shoutout to Ask Ann Cannon: "How can I dial back on digital life?"
14. Shoutout to 'Cat Person' Author Kristen Roupenian Who "Discusses New Book at Harvard Book Store"
15. Shoutout to Ask The Salty Waitress: "Our restaurant's repetitive music is ruining my workday"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt write a love letter to Reddit Relationships and have the honor of interviewing moderator Alex "ResidentBlackGuy" Spruiell! During the interview portion of the show, they discuss how Alex became a moderator, what makes r/relationships the best subreddit for advice, the worst partner so far of 2019, and much more!

1. ResidentBlackGuy
   • Alex Spruiell on Twitter
   • Podcast: Black & Yellow
2. SPONSOR: LOLA: The female-founded company offering a line of organic cotton tampons, pads, liners, and now: sex products!
3. [BONUS Discussion for $5 and up patrons] #100: The Best & Worst Advice Column Humans of 2018 (Ft. Ask a Manager and Captain Awkward): Partners Category
   • Worst Partner: "The Boyfriend" in r/relationships' "I[30] am having a mastectomy due to breast cancer and my boyfriend [29] of 4 years is having a hard time with my decision."
   • Dishonorable Mention: "The Boyfriend" in r/relationships' "I'm [24F] on vacation without my boyfriend [33 M] because he missed his flight. Would it be wrong to live it up and ignore him for a few weeks?"
4. [BONUS Discussion for $5 and up patrons] r/relationships: "My [22F] boyfriend [24M] cut the tip of his finger OFF as a "joke" for my Valentine's Day gift."
5. Reddit Relationships in Three Nutshells
   • Should I key her car?
   • Is this a dealbreaker?
   • Is it mean if I ask him to stop?
6. Listener The Tireless Mind Flayer: "My [46F] girlfriend of 3 months won't invite me [49M] over to her house"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Advice Column Alert: "Who's the Asshole Here?" on Lifehacker
9. Shoutout to John Paul Brammer on Columbia Journalism Review: "The Advice Column Renaissance"
10. Shoutout to Yolanda, Cynosure of the Net (AKA The Golden One) for our first P.O. Box Gift at our New Address
    • And an additional shoutout to Aephe, Stout Battlemage, for sending us AN ENTIRE BOXFUL OF LOVE HEARTS CANDIES
11. Shoutout to Broadway World: "TINY BEAUTIFUL THINGS at Long Wharf"
12. Shoutout to Dear Dabby: "How Do I Work in Weed?" In Cannabis Now
13. Shoutout to Ask the Salty Waitress: "My food came out suspiciously early" for Sounding Like an Onion Headline
14. Shoutout to Ask a Manager: "my coworker is setting toilet paper on fire in the bathroom"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of February 17th, 2019, and beyond, including:

1. WINTER MEETUP:
   • Washington, DC, Busboys and Poets on K Street
   • March 16th, 6 PM - 10 PM
   • Facebook Event
2. Miss Lonelyhearts: "Does new girlfriend have eyes for hers or hims?"
3. Listener Wants to be Supportive, but Doesn't Want to Offend: "How to respect someone's gender if you're not sure they're transgender"
4. Listener Mary, Veiled Reckoner: "How Do You Keep the Germs From Spreading Around Your Polycule?"
5. Listener Sabrina: "Can I Wear an Unethically Produced Shirt That Advocates for Equality Without Being a Hypocrite?"
   • "Hannah and Matt Seek Legal Counsel"
   • "How Do I Deal With a Sadistic Work Bully?"
   • H&M: "Recycle Your Clothes"
6. Listener The Raging Wendigo: "How Do I Get Past the Bitterness of My Abusive Ex Now That He's Suddenly Trying to Reconnect?"
   • Humans of New York: "Cheating McCheaterface"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Listener Dabrius the Decapitator: "My Depressed Dad Keeps Withdrawing From Everyone's Lives and I Don't Know What More I Can Do" Update
   • Reference: "#103: Han and Matt Pursue Their Dreams"
9. Shoutout to Dear Wendy: "Women Discuss: Polyamory and Open Relationships"
10. Shoutout to Gigi Engle on Men's Health: "The Ultimate Guide to Making an Open Relationship Work"
11. Shoutout to Baggage Check: "How do I tell my sister that her beloved MLM is a scam??"
12. Shoutout to Ask Dr. NerdLove: "How Can I Tell If Someone's Flirting With Me?"
13. Shoutout to Ask a Manager: "we have twice-daily mandatory group therapy at work" Update
14. Spark: "'Digisexuality' emerges as a new sexual identity"
15. Listener Sasha Rowyintide, Arsonist of the Rugosa Clan Suggests: Pop Culture Trope Dissection!
16. Advice Column Alert: "How to Get Fired" on Lifehacker
17. Advice Column Alert: "The Moneyist" on Market Watch

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of February 10th, 2019, and beyond, including:

1. WINTER MEETUP:
   • Washington, DC, Busboys and Poets on K Street
   • March 16th, 6 PM - 10 PM
   • Facebook Event
2. Ask a Manager: "we have twice-daily mandatory group therapy at work"
   • "my office has a mandatory feelings chart"
   • "my boss wants us to all share our mental health needs – at every meeting"
3. Ask Amy: "Offensive remarks too close for comfort"
4. Carolyn Hax: "Angry comments on news sites and Facebook? Thats my husband."
5. Dear Abby: "Second Wife-To-Be Wants Man's Name All To Herself"
6. Dear Prudence: "Should I move in with my hoarder boyfriend?"
7. Miss Manners: "Business class welcomes all who can pay for the seat"
8. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
9. Listener Lygeia, Cunning Mesmerist: "How Do I Support a Friend Going Through a Breakup?" + An Update!
   • Reference: "#50: Hannah and Matt Condemn Name Thieves"
10. Shoutout to Entertainment Weekly: "Dumplin' author Julie Murphy previews delectable new novel Dear Sweet Pea"
11. Shoutout to Beast Mode: "My Cats Won't Stop Jumping Onto the Counters"
12. Shoutout to r/dndnext/: "A min-maxer is destroying my group."
13. Advice Podcast Alert: Nick Viall's "The Viall Files"
14. Ted Talks: "Sex Needs a New Metaphor. Here's One." (Pizza!)

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of February 3rd, 2019, and beyond, including:

1. WINTER MEETUP:
   • Washington, DC, Busboys and Poets on K Street
   • March 16th, 6 PM - 10 PM
   • Facebook Event
2. Ask Amy: "Boyfriend disappears into dark web"
   • There are, thankfully, a handful of games where you play as a black female protagonist, though that list does not include "Far Cry: New Dawn" (Source)
3. Ask a Manager: "my boyfriend thinks only bad candidates prepare for interviews"
4. Ask The Salty Waitress: "I accidentally called my female customer sir"
   • "Yinz" is actually short of "You Ones"
5. Baggage Check: "My boyfriend is making me choose between him and my cats"
6. Ask APW: "My Friend Bought Me A Used Wedding Gift That Cost $15"
7. Dear Prudence: "Help! Our Millionaire Relatives Only Gave $30 as Wedding Gifts."
8. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
9. Listener Laura: "Should I Have Waited Longer For My Late Date to Show Up?"
10. Shoutout to The Texanist: "Has PC Culture Tamed the Texanists Tongue?"
11. Shoutout to Slate's Dear Mother Goose: "An Advice Column for Children's Books Characters"
12. Shoutout to Vice ft. Lola Phoenix of the Advice Column Nonmonogamy Help: "The Truth About Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships"
13. Shoutout to Dear Wendy (Who Just Turned EIGHT!): "I'm in a Polyamorous Marriage and I'm Anxious About My Boyfriends Abusive Ex"
14. Shoutout to Savage Love: "Where Can a Bisexual Woman Find a Bisexual Woman? Bisexual Twitter Is Here to Help!"
15. Shoutout to Getting in Bed With Kristin: "Religion & Queerness Slowly Transitioning and a New Kitten!"
16. Shoutout to LA Magazine: "How Heather Havrilesky Became the Advice Guru Behind 'Ask Polly'"
17. Shoutout to Dan Savage in the New York Times: "Jeff Bezos, Please Release Your Dirty Selfies"
18. Advice Column Alert: "How to Do It" on Slate
19. Advice Column Alert: "Dear Talia" on Alma
20. Advice Column Alert: "Crazy Talk" on Healthline

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt make their return with a full batch of queer queeries and are joined by special guestpert, Nicole J. Georges AKA Queer Abby! We discuss queer impostor syndrome, being closeted for fear of bigoted parents, normalizing volunteering your pronouns, and more!

1. Queer Abby
   • Nicole J. Georges on Twitter & Instagram
   • Graphic Memoir: Calling Dr. Laura
   • Podcast: Sagittarian Matters
2. [CW: Bi-Erasure, Queer Gatekeeping until 25 minute mark] Queer Abby: "I'm A Queer Snob"
3. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
4. Listener Closet Conundrum: "One Foot in the Closet"
5. Listener Confused Queer: "Does My Bisexuality Count If I'm Not Having Same-Sex Sex?"
6. Listener The Pestilent Drake: "Why is it so easy to tell others they're valid but feel yourself like you're an impostor in the community?"
7. Listener The Marauding Wendigo: "Should I, a Cis-Gendered Person, Display My Pronouns In Support of the Queer Community?"
8. Listener Angry Latin Queer: "We Had a Secret Gay Wedding Because Our Parents Are Homophobic and Now What Do We Do?"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of January 13th, 2019, and beyond, including:

1. BONUS: New P.O. Box!
   • Han Malyn & Matt Albrecht
   • P.O. Box 75532
   • Washington, DC 20013
2. [The Other] Asking For a Friend: "I Only Have Two Friends. Is There Anything Wrong With That?"
3. Ask a Manager: "my coworker is a blood drive bully"
4. Ask a Manager: "my office is requiring us to disclose all medications we take"
5. Ask APW: "My Family Told Me About My Boyfriend's Proposal Surprise"
6. Ask APW: "Who Do I Invite From A Poly Squad?"
7. Captain Awkward: "My mom kidnapped my kid for 30 minutes. How fired is she?"
8. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
9. Shoutout to AAFU: "I'm still in therapy. Should I be dating?"
10. [Content Warning: sexual assault] Listener Thunder Gryff: "Should I Just Go Ahead and Disclose My CPTSD?"
11. Listener Not a Hugger: "Question! Letting a Friend Know Their Scene is not my Scene"
12. Listener Zaphrus Sabresong, Stalwart Mystic Update: "Is It Okay to Lie to My Grandmother About Having Reported Her to the DMV?"
    • Reference: #85: Han and Matt Report Your Grandmother
13. Listener Ursial the Cyclone, Prizefighter of Faerûn Has Tips for Listener Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
    • Reference: #103: Han and Matt Pursue Their Dreams
14. Shoutout to Buzzfeed: "Here's What It's Really Like To Be An Internet Advice Columnist"
15. Shoutout to Ask The Salty Waitress: "Why won't restaurants seat incomplete parties?"
16. Shoutout to Savage Love: "Arts Patron Seeks to Donate Dildos for Trump Massive Likeness"
17. Advice Column Alert: "Ask Annalisa" in The Guardian

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of January 6th, 2019, and beyond, including:

1. r/amitheasshole: "AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?"
2. [Content Warning: cancer] Ask a Manager: "my coworkers complained that the look of my breasts post-mastectomy is making them uncomfortable"
3. Dear Abby: "Mom Confesses To Undermining Scholar's Dream Of Art School"
4. [Content Warning: body shaming] Damage Control: "Can I tell my overweight friend I'm worried about his health?"
5. Listener Winner Winner Chicken Dinner: "Am I Ruining Game Night by Winning Every Game?"
6. [Content Warning: sexual assault] Listener The Mellow Medusa: "Should I Say Something About My Friend's Husband Having Groped Me at a Party?"
7. Listener Dabrius the Decapitator: "My Depressed Dad Keeps Withdrawing From Everyone's Lives and I Don't Know What More I Can Do"
8. Update from Listener Hillary: "How Do You Set Yourself Up for Success When Starting a New Job?"
   • Reference: "Opinion Overflow #33 Tips for Adjusting to a New & Functional Workplace"
9. Shoutout to Ask The Salty Waitress: "My favorite restaurant won't allow kids after 5 p.m."
10. Shoutout to Ask a Manager: "my office mate asks me 75 questions a day — literally"
11. Shoutout to Carolyn Hax: "Hubby's unilateral decisions should have unilateral consequences"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt are joined by Jessica Weisberg, author of "Asking for a Friend: Three Centuries of Advice on Life, Love, Money, and Other Burning Questions from a Nation Obsessed" to discuss this amazing gift to advice column lovers plus some bonus historical moments:

1. Jessica Weisberg
   • "Asking for a Friend" on Amazon
2. 10 Superb Questions on the History of Advice Columns
   • Much love to the many listeners of ours on Facebook who helped contribute to these questions!
3. John Dunton: "But REALLY Though, Should Women Legally Be Allowed to Use Beauty Products?" (1704)
   • "Pray give your judgement, whether 'tis lawful for Women to use any Beautifying Washes or things of that kind to meliorate Nature, which some Persons are so very much against, and think 'em utterly unlawful?"
4. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
5. Benjamin Franklin: "Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress" (1745)
6. Ann Landers: "The Great Toilet Paper Orientation Debate" (1986)
7. r/legaladviceofftopic: "I trained an AI to generate /r/legaladvice post titles, and it asks "Is it legal for me to get in legal trouble?"" (2019)

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!