Han and Matt Know It All

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of October 14th, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. Dear Abby: "Make Life Easy" (AKA The One In Which Abby Advocates White-Washing Your Future Offspring's Names)
   • The Twitter thread that kicked off this conversation
   • Vogue: "Actually, 'Dear Abby,' I Like My 'Foreign Name' Just Fine, Thanks"
   • NY Times: "No 'Foreign' Names for Children, Dear Abby Advised. Furious Parents Replied."
   • Huffington Post: "Dear Abby, Here's What It's Really Like To Have A 'Foreign' Name In America"
2. Ask Amy: "Moms say teen girls are 'asking for it'"
3. Ask a Manager: "how do I tell an interviewer about my hobbies when my hobbies are kind of boring?"
4. Carolyn Hax: "Hanging the No Boys Allowed sign at a public playground"
5. Dear Wendy: "I Got Drunk and Made Vulgar Remarks About a Coworker and Now I'm Afraid to Go Back to Work"
6. Dear Mariella: "My boyfriend lost his virginity to a sex worker then lied about it"
   • BONUS KNOWLEDGE: Numerous studies and analyses, though lacking in reliable population-level data due to the necessary underground nature of the work in the US, actually do put the rates of STIs anywhere between "5 to 60 times higher among sex workers [in the US] than in general populations." Meanwhile, where sex work is legal and sex workers are required to be screened for STIs quarterly, the rate of STIs is overall lower for Australian sex workers than the general population.
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Listener Arkyn the Enduring: "Practical polyamory tips for dealing with jealousy and dating despair"
9. Listener Dina Explains ABC in Australia
10. Shoutout to NPR's Fresh Air: "What Would Eleanor Do? 'If You Ask Me' Revisits Roosevelt's Advice Columns"
11. Shoutout to Allison Green on Savage Love: "Just A Cock Kraving Safety"
12. Shoutout to Climate Advice: "I worry that climate change could bring malaria to the US Should I?"
13. Shoutout to Beast Mode: "My Boyfriend's Cat Won't Let Me Pee in Peace"
14. Shoutout to a Classic Miss Manners: "The Matchmaker's Blind Spot"
15. Shoutout to Captain Awkward: "Personal Update" and a Plea to Vote
    • For the love of all that is good, USE YOUR VOTE
16. Our Patron's Names (In Talk-to-Text translator form)

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of October 7th, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. SPONSOR: Sudio: Maker of high quality, stylish earbuds and headphones (use promo code "HANANDMATT" at checkout for 15% off your order!)
2. Dear Prudence: "I Told My Partner About My Sexual Assault. He Told Me to 'Get Over It.'"
3. Ask a Manager: "my office does Fat Friday — and I have an eating disorder"
4. Social Q's: "Dating After #MeToo"
5. Ask APW: "Am I Overcomplicating The Hell Out Of My Bridal Shower?"
6. Miss Lonelyhearts: "Hubby has a sex buddy — and it's a man"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Listener Not Really Envious: "I don't get NRE and now it's a problem"
9. Shoutout to Washington Post: "Self-proclaimed 'Old Coots' offer life advice at farmers market. Their slogan: 'It's Probably Bad Advice, But It's Free.'"
10. Shoutout to Captain Awkward: "We decided to leave our abusive ex and move to another state, only she came with us and is living on our couch?"
11. Shoutout to Savage Love: "Everything Gives You Cancer"
12. Shoutout to Consequence of Sound: "Speedy Ortiz share new track DTMFA: Stream"
    • Adult Swim Singles Program: "DTMFA"
13. Listener Update from Differently Gymtimidated
    • Reference: From Ep 89: "My Girlfriend Wants to Work Out Together; I Would Rather Keep Working Out Separately"
14. Shoutout to ABC.net Australia: "Polyamory, unicorns, demisexuality: Five takes on monogamy and its alternatives"
15. The "WOMP It Up!" Podcast Now Has an Advice Section at the End
    • Brian Huskey Episode (Advice starts at 45:05)
16. The State of the World
17. Sugar and Charm: "Apothic Dark Sangria Recipe"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of September 30th, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. BONUS: Han's Tattoo on Their Tattoo Artist's Instagram (and Han's Instagram)
2. Listener Skyler Elmridge, Ingenious Blacksmith: "Should We Put a Spot for Pronouns On Our Wedding Place Cards?"
3. Listener Insert Name Here: "Am I a Bad Queer?"
4. Listener Quarrius, Nimble Geomancer: "What More Can I Do to Help My Friend Who Keeps Facing Abusive Jobs Everywhere He Goes?"
5. Listener Aephe, Stout Battlemage: "Should I Talk to My Dad Again?"
6. Listener Yolanda, Cynosure of the Net: "Where Do I Find My Motivation Now That I'm No Longer Being Terrorized By a Cat?"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Listener Lady Lazor, Hufflepuff: "A Question of Bodies and Their Wonderful Variety!"
9. Learning About Disabilities and Chronic Pain
   • A Listener on teeth brushing and chronic pain on our Facebook Group
   • Lithub: "My Disease Is not a Metaphor"
   • Sonya Huber's "Pain Woman and Other Essays From a Nervous System"
   • Shoutout to my girlfriend Emile <3
10. Listeners Weigh In On Gender Reveal Parties
    • CNN: "Border patrol agent's gender reveal party ignited a 47,000-acre wildfire"
    • Elle: "What To Expect When Your Child's Gender Is Fire"
    • Pokemon's Gender Binary (and also WTF did I just watch?!?)
11. Children's Books Eschewing Gender Norms
    • Suggestions from listeners on in our Facebook Group
12. The Ocean Is Coming For You
13. Advice Column Question Round-Up
    • Ask the Strategist: "What Is the Best Lounge Chair With Back Support?"
    • Fatherly Advice: "The News is Terrible. Don't Let Your Kid Watch it."
    • Y'all Need Help: "Your Girlfriends Family Is Racist and You Should Probably Get the Hell Out of There"
    • The Ethicist: "Is It O.K. to Press Your Spouse to Have a Vasectomy Before You Ditch Him?"
    • Ask Amy: "Urban pioneer isn't ready for the neighborhood"
    • Captain Awkward: "Navigating the aftermath of the abuse in the social circle." (Requested by Listener Sarah H)
    • Dear Dana: "I'm A Sexual Assault Survivor, And I'm Filled With Rage Right Now" (Requested by a Listener, who notes that this could be cathartic for others. It definitely contains some incredibly useful tips on how to channel that rage into activism)
    • Asking For a Friend: "Planet Earth Is Doomed. How Do I Go On?"
    • Autostraddle: "This Woman Asking for Advice About Her Gay Affair Should Leave Her Husband, Be Gay, Do Crimes"
    • Romper: "What If Heather Havrilesky Is Right? Ask Polly's Columnist On Having All The Answers"
    • Ask Polly: "My Broke Boyfriend Wants Us to Live Together!" (Requested by Listener Floyd)

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

CW: Skip to the 6:15 mark of the podcast if you want to avoid conversation about sexual assault.

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of September 23rd, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. Climate Advice: "Should I tell my Republican friend that her Florida mansion is doomed by sea-level rise?"
2. Sense & Sensitivity: "Teenage daughter apathetic about going to polls"
3. Slate: "Help! Is My Couchsurfing Sister Using Us to Make a Fortune on Airbnb?"
4. The Ethicist: "Should I Go to a Gender-Reveal Party?"
5. Ask a Manager: "my boss talks to me like I'm a baby"
   • #82: Han and Matt Proceed With Caution
6. Ask the Salty Waitress: "Should I expect the food-delivery person to schlep up my stairs?"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Differently Gymtimidated: "My Girlfriend Wants to Work Out Together; I Would Rather Keep Working Out Separately"
9. BONUS: "Opinion Overflow Live! | 02" on our Facebook Group, took place this Saturday, 9/29, at 3 PM EST
10. Content Warning: Advice Columnists Discussing Sexual Assault This Week
    • Baggage Check Live: "A revolving sprinkler of lies"
    • Dear Prudence: "My Husband Won't Stop Exposing Himself to Our Teenage Daughter"
    • Dear Wendy: "Kavanaugh Vs. Women"
    • Carolyn Hax Live: "Rage and anguish"
    • Friendshipping!: "Friends Push Each Other on Swing Sets"
    • Dear Fuck-Up: "Should I apologize to the women I hurt?"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of September 16th, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. Dear Prudence: "My Boyfriend Thinks I'm Not Trying Hard Enough to Orgasm From Vaginal Penetration Alone"
2. Ask a Manager: "my coworker gives everyone the silent treatment for weeks"
3. Ask Polly: "Should I Quit My Day Job to Write a Book?"
4. Tough Love: "Help! I Hate My Girlfriend's Armpit Hair"
5. r/relationships: "I[30] am having a mastectomy due to breast cancer but am choosing no reconstruction and my boyfriend [29] of 4 years is having a hard time with my decision."
   • Erika Lust
6. Ask Dr. NerdLove: "Help, I Have Too Many Men In My Life"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Listener Migraineur: "How Do I Convey to My Loved Ones that My Chronic Migraines Aren't Curable?"
9. BONUS: "Opinion Overflow Live! | 02" on our Facebook Group, taking place this Saturday, 9/29, at 3 PM EST

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of September 9th, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. Ask a Manager: "my office has a mandatory feelings chart"
   • Ask a Manager: "my boss wants us to all share our mental health needs – at every meeting"
2. The Ethicist: "What Should I Do With Old Racist Memorabilia?"
3. Dear Prudence: "My Boyfriend Tricked Me Into Becoming Friends With His Other Girlfriend"
4. r/relationships: "My [41/F] husband [41M] does not brush his teeth, and I'm at my wits end."
   • GQ: "Men, Please Brush Your Teeth"
   • Jezebel: "Men Going to Lose All Their Damn Teeth, Probably!"
   • Daily Mail: "Men aren't brushing their teeth every day and their wives are grossed out"
5. Ask The Salty Waitress: "I need an exemption from this restaurant's cell-phone ban"
6. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
7. Listener Colenka the Saucy Rogue: "My Friend Keeps Bringing Her Boyfriend As a Plus One When He's Not Invited and How Do I Stop This?"
8. Shoutout to Washington Post: "Brides are too afraid of being 'bridezilla' to ask for what they want"
9. Shoutout to Slate: "I Gave Advice on a Hugely Popular Reddit Forum for a Week. If Only People Wanted My Answers."
10. Shoutout to TV Guide: "Facebook Watch Tries to Go Legit with Sorry for Your Loss"
11. Shoutout to The Guardian: "Think it feels like the end of the world? Try reading a self-help column"
12. Shoutout to Well and Good: "Miss you already Dear Sugars: 5 life-changing lessons I learned from my favorite advice podcast"
13. Shoutout to Care and Feeding: "I'm the white parent of a biracial child. How should I deal with his potential use of the N-word?"
14. Shoutout to Savage Love: "She Didn't Actually Cheat—Almost Did, But Didn't—But Her Husband Is Sure She Will Cheat Sometime. So Why Not Punish Her Now?"
15. Advice Column Alert: "The Q" on Project Q
16. Advice Column Alert: "Dearly Beloved" on INTO
    • Keep It: "Harriet Tubman Killed the Queen Radio Star"
17. Advice Column Alert: "The Pickle" on Slate

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of September 2nd, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. BONUS: Opinion Overflow LIVE!
2. Ask a Manager: "HR wants our personal cell numbers in our out-of-office messages so we can always be contacted"
   • Ask a Manager: my manager shows up while I'm having chemotherapy to talk about work
   • Ask a Manager: my boss made me leave a work note at a grave, company won't tell us when someone is fired, and more
3. Dear Mariella: "My boyfriend called me a slut now I dread seeing him"
   • Julia Clare: "Straight Women Need to Unionize" Tweet
4. Asking For a Friend: "I Want to Explore Polyamory, My Partner Doesn't. What Should I Do?"
5. Dear Abby: "Fiancee Wants Her Intended To Halt 'boys' Club' Culture"
6. Baggage Check: "My girlfriend complains that I am 'no fun' after losing weight"
   • Savage Love: "I'm Turned On When I Force My Boyfriend to Eat, but Am I Forcing Him to Eat Too Much?"
7. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
8. Listener Zaphrus Sabersong, Stalwart Mystic: "Is It Okay to Lie to My Grandmother About Having Reported Her to the DMV?"
9. Update to the Nameless One's Question: "On Bodies, Weddings, and Chronic Illness (The POWER TRIO)
   • Reference: "#71: Han and Matt Hoard Their Apps"
10. Listener Rachel the Librarian Knows a Thing or Two About Attaining US Citizenship
    • Reference: "#82: Han and Matt Proceed With Caution"; Listener Sorrowfang: "Should I Get Married Quicker Than I'm Comfortable with so My Partner Can Get a Visa?"
11. Shoutout to Care and Feeding: "Can I ask my newly out son to be less flamboyant at school so his little brother won't get bullied?"
12. Shoutout to Ask Amy: "The Other Woman Wants to Be the Only Woman"
13. Shoutout to My Kid Is Gay: "How Do I Talk About Periods with My Non-Binary Kid?"
14. Shoutout to Miss Manners: "Public confrontations: ineffective, counterproductive"
15. Shoutout to Ask a Manager: "update: my dad is dating my boss, and they want me to go to couples therapy with them"
16. Advice Column Alert: "The Activist Whisperer"on Lush

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt tackle questions from some of their favorite advice sources from the week of August 26th, 2018, and beyond, including:

1. Ask a Manager: "our CEO challenged someone to eat dead bugs"
   • Ask a Manager: "my boss wants us to all share our mental health needs – at every meeting"
2. Ask a Queer Chick: "How Do I Stop Accidentally Misgendering My Co-Worker?"
3. Ask APW: "My Sister Just Came Out As Trans And Wants To Be My Bridesmaid"
4. Dear Abby: "Teen's Flannel Shirts Become Focus Of Fight With Stepmom"
5. Savage Love: "Swinger doesn't want to inadvertently fuck any Trump supporters."
6. Captain Awkward: "Mom, you've had two weddings, let me have one!"
7. The Ethicist: "If Two People Claim a Lost Cat Who Should Get It?"
   • Dear Prudence: "The "Schrödinger's Stolen Cat" Edition"
8. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
9. The Raging Mist Vine: "How Can I Avoid Guys on Dating Apps Who Seem to Only Be Looking For Sex?"
10. Anonymous Listener on Boomer Stereotyping
    • Reference: #83: Han and Matt Commune with Miri
11. New York Times: "Five Essential 'Dear Sugars' Episodes" (The End of Dear Sugars)
    • New York Times: "Introducing 'Dear Sugars,' Our Radically Empathic Advice Podcast"
12. Advice Column Alert: Dear Mishu
13. Advice Column Alert: Sex Gets Real With Dawn Serra

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

In part 2 of 2 this week's episodes, Han and Matt continue their conversation with Miri Mogilevsky!

1. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
2. Miri Mogilevsky
   • Brute Reason: Polyamory 201: "Monogamous for the Right Person"
   • Miri on Twitter (as Sondosia)
   • Miri's Homepage
   • Miri on Patreon
3. Listener C: "I'm Moving in with All Male Roommates and Acquaintances Keep Bringing up Rape"
4. Listener Zovoq, Lamia Ravager: "Is everyone too overwhelmed for e-mail now? (Alternate clickbait-y title: are millennials ruining communication?)"
5. [Content Warning: Racism / 22:40 to 25:00] Listener Holly Hellhunter on Laura Ingalls Wilder
6. Listener Krista on Last Podcast on the Left
7. Advice Column Alert: "Ask Pajiba" on Pajiba
   • "Your Well-Being Is More Important Than Your Mom's"
8. Shoutout to Savage Love: "Creepy Couple Creeps Out Budding New Unicorn"
9. Shoutout to Captain Awkward: "Don't go on vacation with Nazis."
10. Shoutout to Dear Sugars: "Talking About Privilege With Catrice M. Jackson"

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!

Han and Matt are joined by fellow Know-It-All-therapist-and-blogger-and-cancer-survivor-and-fiction-writer-and-gardener-and-total-cutie Miri Mogilevsky for a 2-parter and discussed recent advice column questions as well as listener questions!

1. SPONSOR: Podigy: The podcast editing service we partner proudly with!
2. Miri Mogilevsky
   • Brute Reason: Polyamory 201: "Monogamous for the Right Person"
   • Miri on Twitter (as Sondosia)
   • Miri's Homepage
   • Miri on Patreon
3. Non-Monogamy Help: "Ultimatums and Polyamory"
4. Miss Conduct: "Advice: Is it OK to publicly mock my mansplaining colleagues?"
5. [Content Warning: Rape / 34:03 to 45:20] Dear Abby: "Man Is Unconvinced That His Girlfriend Has No Sex Drive"
   • #48: Hannah and Matt Scrutinize Sexual Imbalances
   • "Come As You Are" by Emily Nagoski Ph.D.
   • Baby Boomer Memes
6. Ask a Manager: "My coworker likes to trash-talk Millennials"
7. To be continued on the next episode, Opinion Overflow #40!

Submit your favorite questions or questions you may have for the podcast to [email protected], anonymously at bit.ly/askhanandmatt, or to [email protected] for a Han-only written answer on hanandmattknowitall.com.

Looking to support us? Desperately in need of a fantastical alter-ego? You can become a Patreon supporter and donate to us monthly for all kinds of sweet perks!