Hannah Hotline

In this episode, Hannah sits down with Andrea Bombino - motherhood and career coach, matrescence expert, and longtime friend - to unpack the developmental transition into motherhood that almost no one talks about: matrescence.

Coined in the 1970s and only recently brought back into the mainstream, matrescence describes the profound physical, psychological, and identity-level transformation that happens when a woman becomes a mother. Andrea breaks down why Western culture fails to recognize this transition the way it recognizes adolescence, and why high-achieving women in particular struggle to accept a season of life that doesn't match their old definition of success.

This conversation goes deep into ambition after motherhood, the guilt of slowing down, burnout recovery, values-based decision making, and why creative hobbies — even five minutes of painting or journaling — are non-negotiable for staying grounded. If you're a working mother, an executive navigating parental leave, or simply someone redefining what success looks like in this season of your life, this episode is essential listening.

Connect with Andrea Bombino:

www.andreabombino.com www.LinkedIn.com/in/andreabombino/ Instagram: @andreabombino_ https://open.substack.com/pub/andreabombino

📩 Got a Big Fucking Dreams topic you want covered? Email [email protected]

#matrescence #motherhoodjourney #identitymothers #workingmama #workingmom #workingwomen #maternityleave #womenintransition #parentingsupport

Timestamps:

00:30 — Welcome Andrea Bombino to Big Fucking Dreams 01:30 — What is matrescence? Definition and origins of the term 03:00 — Why matrescence was rediscovered through postpartum depression research 04:00 — The different domains of matrescence: physical, relational, career, identity 05:30 — Why society treats teenage development with grace but not motherhood 06:30 — Western capitalist culture vs. how other cultures honor postpartum recovery 08:00 — Hyper-independence and the resistance to accepting support 09:30 — The shift in ambition: why some high-achieving women want to pause their careers 10:30 — Andrea's personal panic when she found out she was pregnant after a promotion 11:30 — "Pregnancy is the shortest ramp-up time for a career change" 12:30 — How ambition shifts and sharpens instead of disappearing 16:00 — Acceptance, impatience, and burnout recovery 18:00 — The invisible labor of motherhood and lack of recognition 20:30 — A constant practice in acceptance: choosing values over old definitions of success 25:00 — Behind the curtain: what "having it all together" actually requires 28:30 — Andrea's hobbies and the prioritization of fun in motherhood 30:00 — How career achievement became Andrea's sole measure of self-worth 33:30 — Finding healing through watercolor painting with her daughter 36:00 — The neuroscience of making things with your hands and lowering cortisol 39:00 — "Life is meant to be lived" — redefining what brings you joy 41:00 — The eighth-grade memory that shaped Andrea's relationship with happiness 43:00 — Why prioritizing hobbies as a mom is not selfish — bringing kids into the joy 46:00 — Moving to Italy, taking risks, and living life on your own terms 48:00 — "Do it your own way" — permission to change your mind 49:30 — Becoming more confident in who you are, the longer you're a mother 50:00 — Where to find Andrea Bombino + final thoughts

"I told the CEO the truth, and then I was fired."

If you have a strong sense of justice and integrity, you've likely felt the sting of corporate politics. You see a problem, you fix it, and instead of being rewarded, you're sidelined or pushed out.

In this episode, Hannah breaks down the high-performer's "Integrity Trap." She explains how to navigate these environments without sacrificing your soul, and when to realise that the system you are fighting isn't just broken - it's designed to exclude people like you.

The bottom line: Integrity is your greatest asset. Don't waste it on an organisation that doesn't deserve it.

🚨 Got a career challenge?

Submit your questions and frustrations to the Hannah Hotline

Email: [email protected]

If you've been burned by corporate politics, you're not the problem—the system is. If you're ready to stop being 'the inconvenient one' and start building a career that actually values your integrity, grab my free Career Confidence Course at www.hannahkissel.com and let's get you aligned.

Timestamps:

01:30 — The "Good Operator" fallacy: Why honesty is sometimes a liability 03:00 — Why power trumps competence in corporate environments 04:30 — "Inconvenient to power": Recognising the dynamic 06:00 — Tactical advice: Presenting data without being confrontational 07:30 — Self-preservation vs. Selfishness 09:00 — When to stop trying to fix a broken ship 11:00 — If you're always getting fired for honesty, consider a different model

Hannah Hotline is sponsored by dominiquejingles — where quirky, clever, and corporate branding is reimagined. A client says, 'We just want something different.' Dominique turns that into a jingle that sticks in your head all day. DM Dominique on Instagram @dominiquejingles or email [email protected]

You've achieved everything you set out to achieve. So why do you feel like you're losing your edge?

For high performers and executives, we are wired to believe that more work, more hustle, and more sacrifice is the answer to every problem. But what happens when the very mechanism that built your success — your relentless drive, starts to feel like a cage?

In this episode, Hannah gets vulnerable about a recent shift in her own ambition. After years of building, growing, and hustling, she's found herself in the "mush" — that uncomfortable, transitional space where the old identity has dissolved, but the new one hasn't quite arrived yet.

Using Martha Beck's "Change Cycle," Hannah explains why you might be experiencing a loss of drive, why your ambition might actually be a lingering trauma response, and why the most productive thing you can do right now is "go gentle."

The bottom line: If you're changing identities right now, you don't need to force a solution. You need to surrender to the cycle.

Timestamps:

01:30 — Why identity shift is the ultimate high-performer struggle 03:30 — Healing PTSD and the death of "trauma-response" ambition 04:30 — It's not just business: Why identity shifts are universal for women 05:00 — Martha Beck's Change Cycle: The framework you need 05:30 — Stage One: The "Mush" (Death and Rebirth) 07:00 — The danger of hustling through the "Mush" 07:30 — A quick overview of Stages Two, Three, and Four 08:00 — The invitation to "go gentle" and surrender

Key Takeaways:

1. Metamorphosis is not comfortable. 2. Ambition is often a trauma response. 3. Surrender is not giving up. 4. Natural cycles exist for women. 5. Your drive will change.

#identityshift #careertransition #changecycle #careeradvice #highperformer #workplaceadvice #createyourownfuture #hannahkissel

📩 Got a question for the Hannah Hotline? Email [email protected]

Free Career Confidence Course: www.hannahkissel.com

In this episode, Hannah tackles a deeply relatable dilemma sent in by a listener who hates her job, wants to switch roles, but feels guilty about joining a new company while planning to get pregnant.

Hannah cuts through the noise with her signature no-BS approach, reminding us that company loyalty is a two-way street, and more often than not, it only runs one way. From anti-discrimination laws to fertility timelines to the reality of mass redundancies, Hannah lays out exactly why you should never put your personal goals on hold for an organization that wouldn't think twice about making you redundant.

If you're a high-performing woman navigating career transitions, family planning, or both — this one's for you.

📩 Have a dilemma? Send your letter to [email protected] to be featured on this podcast or the Daily Telegraph.

✅ Key Takeaways

• Company loyalty is not a marriage contract. • Stop asking for permission to live your life. • Pregnancy is not a professional failure. • "Dishonesty" is a control tactic. • Black-and-white thinking is keeping you stuck. • Prioritise the career you actually want. • The risk is not starting a family. The risk is staying in a job you hate. • Look for the employer who expects women to have lives.

Timestamps:

01:15 — The listener's dilemma: hated job, family planning, and the guilt trap 02:30 — Why high performers think being "dishonest" is a personality trait 03:45 — Corporate loyalty: why it's a one-way street (and why that's okay) 05:00 — The "last in, first out" myth and the reality of redundancies 06:30 — Pregnancy is not a "debilitating" factor — debunking the bias 08:00 — You don't owe them your life plan — privacy vs. dishonesty 09:30 — Stop falling into black-and-white thinking: finding your middle ground 11:00 — Why you should quit the job you hate now 12:30 — How to identify a supportive company during the interview process 14:00 — Final advice: Prioritise yourself, or you will be trapped by their priorities

🚨 Got a career challenge?

Submit your questions and frustrations to the Hannah Hotline!

Email: [email protected]

Gain Access to the free Career Confidence Course: https://www.hannahkissel.com/careerconfidence

Follow Hannah Kissel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahmaekissel/

Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannahkissel/

Visit Hannah's website: www.hannahkissel.com

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Hannah Hotline is sponsored by dominiquejingles — where quirky, clever, and corporate branding is reimagined. A client says, 'We just want something different.' Dominique turns that into a jingle that sticks in your head all day.

DM Dominique on Instagram @dominiquejingles or email [email protected]

The most dangerous thing a high performer can do? Stick to a bad plan just because they "said they would."

We are taught that consistency is a virtue. We are taught that changing our minds is a weakness, a sign of indecision, or a failure of control. In corporate environments, being "Rule Book" (as Hannah was affectionately nicknamed at LinkedIn) is a badge of honour.

But there is a massive difference between commitment and rigidity.

In this episode, Hannah gets brutally honest about a massive U-turn she just made in her business. She'd announced one thing, put the plan in motion, and then, after looking at the data, her personal capacity, she chose to change her mind.

If you're a high-performing executive who uses rigidity as a trauma response to feel "safe," this episode is for you.

The bottom line: The strength of your leadership is not measured by your ability to stay the course — it's measured by your ability to pivot when the course is no longer serving you or your business.

Key Takeaways: - Rigidity is often a control mechanism. - Flexible mental models are your biggest competitive advantage. - "Rule Book" is a limiting identity. - The "cost of entry" for high growth is flexibility. - Re-evaluation is data-driven, not impulsive.

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If this episode resonates with you, please leave a rating. It's the biggest way you can support what we're building here, and every single review helps us reach someone who needs this. Big love, dreamers.

Gain Access to the free Career Confidence Course: https://www.hannahkissel.com/careerconfidence

The Truth About Imposter Syndrome: https://open.spotify.com/episode/129YgMPuJWGLQK5VB9CncR?si=a352646dfec6411a

Follow Hannah Kissel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahmaekissel/

Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannahkissel/

Quiz: Discover Your Career Alignment Score: https://hannahkisselcareerquiz.scoreapp.com

#mentalmodels #flexibility #adaptable #highperformer #careertransitions #careeradvice #decisionsmatter #workplaceadvice #growthmindset #businessinsight

📩 Got a question for the Hannah Hotline? Email [email protected]

You're senior, successful, and capable, so why is this one coworker still living rent-free in your head?

In this Hannah Hotline episode, Hannah responds to a listener navigating a persistent grudge against the colleague who covered her maternity leave.

Hannah breaks down the real psychology behind why grudges stick, introduces the Grey Rock Method for disengaging from toxic dynamics, and reveals the surprising reason workplace drama keeps pulling you back in.

#highperformer #workplaceadvice #workplaceculture

Timestamps:

01:30 — Why grudges have a "payoff" and what yours might be 02:30 — Taking personal responsibility: what was your part in this? 03:15 — What to clean up and do differently next time 03:39 — The Gray Rock Method: become boring, stop providing ammo 05:00 — Why you can't let go: the creative outlet theory 06:17 — The link between workplace drama and a lack of joy in your life 06:30 — How to fill your life so the grudge loses its grip

💬 Loved this episode? Know someone who's still venting about that one coworker? Send this to them. And if you've got a workplace situation you want Hannah to tackle on the Hannah Hotline, email [email protected] — your question could be the next episode.

🚨 Got a career challenge?

Submit your questions and frustrations to the Hannah Hotline!

Email: [email protected]

Gain Access to the free Career Confidence Course: https://www.hannahkissel.com/careerconfidence

Follow Hannah Kissel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahmaekissel/

Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannahkissel/

Visit Hannah's website: www.hannahkissel.com

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Hannah Hotline is sponsored by dominiquejingles — where quirky, clever, and corporate branding is reimagined. A client says, 'We just want something different.' Dominique turns that into a jingle that sticks in your head all day.

DM Dominique on Instagram @dominiquejingles or email [email protected].

Nine years ago, Hannah Kissel made the most important decision of her life. She was sitting in a bathtub, a few days before her 27th birthday, and she realised something: she didn't want to do this anymore.

Not life — but the version of it she was living.

In this deeply personal solo episode, recorded on her 36th birthday and 9-year sobriety anniversary, Hannah shares what she's never talked about publicly - the moment that changed everything, what sobriety actually gave her, and the new pattern she's currently working through: an addiction to struggle.

This isn't a cautionary tale. It's a blueprint. And whether you drink or not, if you're a high performer who constantly makes things harder than they need to be, this one's going to hit home.

In this episode, Hannah covers: - The bathtub moment: the decision that started everything - What her therapist said that she'll never forget - Why addiction is really about discontentedness — not willpower - How an addictive, obsessive personality shows up in other areas (work, relationships, sugar, hockey romance novels) - Why the 12-step modality is the most powerful transformation framework she's ever encountered — and how she built her entire coaching program around it - Her current phase of recovery: the addiction to struggle, overcomplicating, and working harder than necessary - The intentional self-care routine that keeps her at equilibrium (and why she does it even when she doesn't want to) - Why "I could have drinking — or I could have everything else" is still the most clarifying thought she's ever had - Learning to let things be easy — and why that's harder than it sounds for high performers

The bottom line: Sobriety was the foundation. Everything else — the business, the marriage, the novel, the life — was built on top of it. And the next frontier isn't doing more. It's learning to let it be good.

Timestamps:

02:00 — The bathtub moment: sitting in the dark before her 27th birthday 03:30 — What her therapist said that changed everything 04:30 — Growing up in LA: why sobriety and recovery were normalised early 05:30 — Moving to Australia: the taboo around sobriety and why it went underground 06:30 — "I could have drinking — or I could have everything else" 07:15 — The addictive, obsessive personality and where it shows up instead 08:30 — Why addiction is discontentedness, not weakness 09:30 — The 12-step modality: why it's the most powerful transformation framework she knows 11:00 — How Hannah built her coaching program on the AA model 12:30 — What sobriety gave her: business, marriage, novel, PTSD diagnosis, herself 14:00 — The current phase: addiction to struggle — overcomplicating, overworking, overdoing 15:30 — The master's degree story: reading four extra books for a one-page assignment 16:30 — Learning to let it be easy — and why that's the hardest thing yet 17:30 — The intentional self-care routine that keeps her at equilibrium 18:30 — Closing: gratitude, what's next, and the invitation to reach out

If this episode resonates with you, please leave a rating. It's the biggest way you can support what we're building here, and every single review helps us reach someone who needs this. Big love, dreamers.

#highperformer #sobrietyisworthit #addictionrecoverypodcast #defineyourfuture #womeninbusiness #uncomplicated #highperformancemindset #lessismore

Your nervous system is sending you a message. Are you listening?

High performers are often the last people to admit they're burning out because they're still getting great performance reviews while their body quietly falls apart.

In this episode, Hannah responds to a listener who has been in back-to-back burnout cycles for two years. She's a project manager at a major financial institution - brilliant at her job, crossing time zones daily, triple-checking everything, answering Slack at 10pm and now dealing with stress-related stomach issues and anxiety more days than not.

She can't quit. She needs the salary. And she's tried therapy, tried saying no, and keeps ending up right back here.

Hannah uses Christina Maslach's clinical framework to diagnose exactly what's happening, and then gives a clear, no-fluff roadmap for getting out of it without torching your career.

In this episode, Hannah covers:

• Christina Maslach's 3-component burnout framework • Why "greedy jobs" in finance, law, tech, and consulting are burnout factories • How to separate job demands from personality patterns (and why you need to address both) • The financial reality of burnout: the 15% salary hit most people don't see coming • Tactical schedule changes to contain the time zone problem • Why therapy alone isn't enough and what coaching does differently • When to consider a lateral role change (and what you actually trade away) • How to choose between career acceleration and your health

The truth: You can have a thriving career and not be sick. But you can't have both at the same time if you keep doing the same things.

Timestamps:

02:30 — Christina Maslach's 3-component burnout framework explained 04:00 — Diagnosing the listener: Does she qualify? (All three boxes ticked) 05:00 — "Greedy jobs" why finance, law, and tech normalise burnout 06:15 — Separating job demands from personality patterns: time zones vs. perfectionism 07:30 — The real question: is your priority health or the mortgage? 08:30 — The financial cost of burnout: the 15% salary hit nobody warns you about 09:15 — Tactical fix #1: condensing time zone work to specific days 10:00 — Tactical fix #2: negotiating with your manager + using health as a lever 11:00 — Why therapy alone isn't enough and what coaching does differently 12:30 — Considering a lateral role change: the trade-offs, honestly 13:45 — Career acceleration vs. health: you can't have both right now 14:30 — "You can have a thriving career and not be sick", Hannah's closing belief

Resources/ Links:

Christina Maslach is best known as one of the pioneering researchers on job burnout and the author of the Maslach Burnout Inventory (MBI), the most widely used research measure in the burnout field.

https://maslach.socialpsychology.org/files

🚨 Got a career challenge?

Submit your questions and frustrations to the Hannah Hotline!

Email: [email protected]

Gain Access to the free Career Confidence Course: https://www.hannahkissel.com/careerconfidence

Follow Hannah Kissel on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hannahmaekissel/

Connect with Hannah Kissel on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hannahkissel/

Visit Hannah's website: www.hannahkissel.com

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Hannah Hotline is sponsored by dominiquejingles.

DM Dominique on Instagram @dominiquejingles or email [email protected].

#highperformer #burnoutprevention #burnoutrecovery #healthisthenewwealth #burnouttobreakthrough #workplaceadvice #thebodykeepsthescore #workplacewellness

Feeling overwhelmed? It's probably not what you think it is.

In this raw, unscripted solo episode, Hannah shares what came out of her most recent therapy session - a realisation that stopped her in her tracks.

She'd been feeling overwhelmed. Shutting down. Going full "sloth monster." And when she traced it back to the source, it wasn't burnout. It wasn't doing too much. It was the complete opposite - it was not making decisions.

If you're in a season of growth where everything feels uncertain, you have ten browser tabs open in your brain, and you can't seem to pick a direction. This episode is going to land hard.

The bottom line: Overwhelm isn't always about doing too much. Sometimes it's about deciding too little. Pick a direction, any direction and let the data tell you what to do next.

📩 DM Hannah if this hit home, she wants to hear from you.

Key Takeaways:

- Overwhelm is often indecision in disguise. - Know your stress response. - Open decisions are open wounds. - Indecision has a massive opportunity cost. - More research = more paralysis - Ring-fence big decisions with a deadline. - Cap your research time - Execute to get data — not to get it perfect. - Perfectionism is a momentum killer. - You're better at executing than you think.

Timestamps:

02:00 — The window of tolerance: hyper-arousal vs. hypo-arousal explained 02:45 — Meet the "sloth monster": Hannah's hypo-arousal shutdown mode 03:30 — The root cause: overwhelm = indecision during hypergrowth 04:15 — Why being good at executing directives doesn't translate to open-ended decisions 04:45 — The "open tabs" problem and the opportunity cost of not deciding 05:30 — Real examples: evergreen vs. launch, program naming dilemmas 06:15 — The 3-step decision-making framework: ring-fence, cap research, execute 07:00 — Why more research leads to more paralysis (not better decisions) 07:45 — Perfectionism + the friend who joined the program for the same reason 08:15 — When big life decisions ARE worth more time (and when they're not)

#decisionmaking #overwhelmed #indecision #createyourownfuture #decisionsmatter #lifecoachforwomen #lifeworkbalance

You can be powerful. You can be liked. They're not opposites.

If you've just stepped into a bigger leadership role and you're about to have the hardest conversations of your career, this one's for you.

In this Hannah Hotline episode, Hannah coaches a listener who has rocketed from career-changer to C-suite executive in just three years, now managing nearly 30 people and reporting directly to the CEO. A major restructure is coming. Roles are being changed. A senior colleague is now reporting to her. And she has to deliver "you're in or you're out" messages to people she genuinely likes.

She feels like a fraud. Hannah's response? You're confusing people-pleasing with people-caring and they are not the same thing.

In this episode, Hannah covers: - The critical difference between people-pleasing and people-caring (and why it changes everything) - Why people-pleasing is actually protecting you, not them - How to reframe "in or out" messages as giving people agency, not taking it away - What to actually say to a senior colleague who now reports to you - Why "clarity is the kindest thing you can do" as a leader - The identity shift required to step into real leadership authority - How to increase your tolerance for discomfort, without losing your character - Situational leadership and nonviolent communication as practical tools

The truth about people-pleasing in leadership: avoiding hard conversations doesn't protect your team. It protects you and it costs your team clarity, direction, and respect.

Got a question for Hannah? Email [email protected]

Timestamps:

02:30 — First reframe: you can be powerful and likable, they're not opposites 04:00 — People-pleasing vs. people-caring: the distinction that changes everything 05:30 — "Clarity is the kindest thing you can do", why avoiding hard conversations hurts people 07:00 — Reframing "in or out" messages: giving people agency, not taking it away 08:15 — How to handle the senior colleague who now reports to you 09:45 — Using your C-suite influence to make the restructure more employee-friendly 11:00 — The identity shift: increasing your tolerance for discomfort 12:30 — Building your support system + tools (nonviolent communication, situational leadership) 13:30 — Send Hannah your questions + wrap up

#peoplepleasingrecovery #clarityiskey #careertransitions #workplaceadvice #highperformer