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This week we are joined by our friend Lian and her cat Juju to talk about a good old hazing plot. Sprinkled throughout are some questionable attitudes about patriotism, our criminal justice system, and peer pressure. We meet some new Glen Oak characters this go around, including the world's most legitimately grumpy diner owner and a real sassafras of a judge. Plus, Eric at his most irrational yet!


This week's cocktail:

The Rob Roy (also port for Greg, an Aunt Julie fav)
 
2 oz Scotch
1 oz Sweet Vermouth
Dash of Bitters
Stir and Garnish with a cherry

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Hey, hey, hey this week we are joined by Greg's brother-in-law Jackson to talk about an episode chock full of god incarnate - the glorious Mrs. Bink. However, she is quickly displaced by the holiest handyman - Steve. Also it's Lucy's 13th birthday and we are schooled by Jackson's deep knowledge of 7th Heaven space-time kinks. The new odd ball character Dwight is introduced and Happy finally has her puppies (we aren't entirely sure they are hers, though).

The cocktail this week is red wine and white russians again because we are all out of sorts.

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This week Morgan and Greg sit down to discuss an episode about Matt's new girlfriend trying to steal his family via very intense carpool word problems. Meanwhile, Mary hates the concept of cheerleading, Simon is the most annoying he has literally ever been after reading Goosebumps #6, and nineties flip phones are featured in a starring role.

Corrections: Morgan incorrectly attributes the music playing during Lucy's cheerleading training to Survivor when it is in fact the theme from Rocky. Please forgive us.

This week's cocktail:

Satan's Whiskers

1/2 oz. Gin
1/2 oz. Triple Sec
1/2 oz. Sweet Vermouth
1/2 oz. Dry Vermouth
1/2 oz. Orange Juice
Dash orange bitters

Shake and strain into a coupe.

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This week Stacey Axler (@StaceyAxComedy) is back to discuss one of our very favorite episodes! It really has it all: physically assaulting Simon, dog sweaters, Thanksgiving, Jimmy Moon's greatest appearance to date, Eric straight up imprisoning his sister, and much much more. 

The cocktail is something I made up with available stuff in my house, and named after Wesley Crusher:

The Ensign Energizer
2 oz Reposado Tequila (we prefer Cazadores)
1 oz Triple Sec
Splash of Orange Juice, Club Soda, and Lime

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With ideal timing, we are joined by friend of the show Stephen to discuss a plot about trauma, communicable diseases, and a grueling election. Unrelated, Mary really wants a girls basketball team tattoo of a cat (no comment). Also, we learn that 90's playgrounds in France were more interested 7th Heaven than we could have possibly imagined. 


White Russian:
2 oz Vodka
1 oz Kahlua
Splash of cream

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This week we're joined by Morgan's college friend Kendal to talk mostly about Eric's infidelity rumors and Simon's terrible pick up game (huffing girls' hair). Plus, Mary's back at it again with another "boyfriend" Matt can't stand, who is really just a worse Jordan Catalano. Tuna casseroles, and casseroles in general as a cultural object, are discussed at length. 

French feminist book we mentioned Greg read as part of his quarantine rituals: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/7624359-king-kong-theory?ac=1&from_search=true&qid=ilOZ7V104O&rank=1 

This week's cocktail:
Tuxedo No. 2 (For Greg's tuxedo cat Dany)
This is close to the version served at NYC's Flora Bar, subbing absinthe for pastis

2 1/4 ounces gin (London dry, such as Plymouth or Beefeater)
1/2 ounce dry vermouth (we always use Dolin)
1/4 ounce Luxardo
4 dashes Regan's Orange Bitters
Ricard, to rinse

Garnish: orange twist, cherry

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This week we are joined by Greg's roommate Caitlin to discuss an episode focused on the unending dangers of marijuana, teenage basketball bitches, Lucy's attempts to win the favor of middle school Mila Kunis, one exceptionally strange dad (somehow not Eric), and hunting mailmen for sport. We also peer into a 1996 grocery store specializing in SnackWell products and cheap timepieces, to the delight of all.

The classic 90s's board game discussed in this episode was "Dream Phone": https://www.refinery29.com/en-us/dream-phone-childhood-games  

The Gilded Room
1.5 oz Brandy
1.5 oz Dry Vermouth
.5 oz Orange Curacao

Stir with ice and strain into a chilled coupe or martini glass.  

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Your hosts are joined by friend of the show Lawrence Kao to analyze a very spooky Halloween special. Eric's childhood "trauma" of beating up some other kid over nothing reaches a stunning conclusion, while many costumed looks are served at the church's Halloween fair. We also discuss the peculiar autumnal behavior of Southern Californians and the episode's many notable Z list guest stars.

This week's cocktail:

The Sidecar

• 1 1/2 ounce cognac (we used Pierre Ferrand 1840)
• 3/4 ounce orange liqueur (we used some terrible $5 triple sec, but cointreau would be better)
• 3/4 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezed

Shake ingredients and pour into a chilled coupe. Garnish with a lemon or orange twist and a sugar rim.

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This week we sit down to discuss one of 7th Heaven's most infamous episodes, as the show confronts racism for the first time. To be honest, there's not much to joke about because the episode is outright terrible. We explore what exactly went wrong, if these types of mistakes are still a mainstay of American television, and the necessity of including minority voices in writing rooms.

The essay by Tahirah Hairston we mentioned at the top of the show: These very special '7th Heaven' episodes about black people are cringey as hell

This week's cocktail:

The Clermont
2 oz Old Grand-Dad Bonded Bourbon
1/4 oz Fernet
1/4 oz Simple Syrup
2 Dashs Angostura Bitters

Build in glass, stir, and serve on the rocks with an orange twist.

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Your hosts are joined by Greg's friend and ex-roommate Taylor to discuss a funeral-focused episode following the death of Annie's mother. Everyone in town is invited to the Camdens' house for one hell of a wake, which unexpectedly leads to nonsensical comedic bits about the pitfalls of bigamy. Meanwhile, we uncover some interesting details about Ruthie's former lives as Simon continues to pursue basic bitch theology questions at every possible turn. Mary and Jeff finally break up and then fuck with Matt extensively.

This week's cocktail:

Gordon's Breakfast (credit to the late great Sasha Petraske)

2 oz dry London gin (your hosts prefer Beefeater or Plymouth)
6 lime wedges
¾ oz simple syrup
3 thin cucumber slices
4 dashes of Cholula hot sauce
2 dashes of Worcestershire sauce
Salt and Pepper

Shake all ingredients with ice and serve unstrained like a Pimm's cup.

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