As Texas attempts to redraw districts in Republicans’ favor before the midterms, Democrats skip town to Illinois and threaten nationwide retaliation. But, oops, their states are all already gerrymandered! Meanwhile, in another installment of “men according to women according to the New York Times,” feminists are shocked—shocked!—to meet with the consequences of their own actions. Where are all the chivalrous men at? One is in DC: DOGE team member Edward “Big Balls” Coristine, in defending his date from a crowd of aggressive youths, took a battering—and opened also a debate over bringing the capital back under federal control. Plus: the guys share more media recommendations!

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